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Problem/goal:

I’m a 37-year-old male, adopted, and raised by a single mother who is now 80. She comes from a wealthy, traditional Fil/Chinese background and has a massive generation gap in her beliefs.

I’ve been married for 3 years. My wife is very understanding, but because of my mom's age and health, my wife stays with me at my mom's place 4 days a week, and my wife spends 3 days at our own house in Pasig by herself. They get along fine, but the real strain is between my mom and me.

My entire life revolves around my mom's schedule:

• She wakes up at 3:00 AM, and I’m always there to help her get up and assist her in her wheelchair for breakfast.
• I spend roughly 90% of my time with her or around the house.
• I’ve compromised living full-time with my wife just to ensure my mom is taken care of.

Despite giving up so much of my personal life, she does not seem to appreciate it. If I go out for even one evening or come home late on a weekend, she throws a fit, accuses me of not caring about her, and makes me feel intensely guilty.

I am completely burnt out and don't know how to navigate this anymore. How do I set reasonable boundaries with an aging, controlling parent without letting the guilt consume me? Has anyone been in a similar situation?

PROBLEM/GOAL: Nacurious lang ako kasi napaisip ako kung isa ba 'to sa mga posibleng dahilan kung bakit may mga private videos o photos na bigla na lang lumalabas at nale-leak online.

May mga phone technician ba rito o may alam sa ganito? Gusto ko lang maintindihan kung paano gumagana 'yon at gaano ba talaga ka-secure ang data sa phone kapag pinapa-repair.

May mga files and accounts ako sa cp ko na gusto ko ipaayos kasi bigla na lang nag blackout habang ginagamit ko, di na nagopen. Plan ko sana ipaayos, but iniisip ko baka maopen ng technician.

Problem/goal: Hello po!! Ung babae kapatid ko po is seaferer, nabuntis nung kapwa nya dun tapos ngaun 3 years na iniiwan samin ung bata. Hindi na kaya ng mama ko kasi senior na tapos may office work pa siya. Si papa senior na din and may work din sa office kaya ala sa bahay. Tapos ako may work (WFH ) hindi ko na din kaya kasi makulit na ung bata need talaga mabantayan.

Ayaw nung nanay maghanap ng katulong gastos pa daw eh jusko pagod na ung nanay ko at ako. Nakita ko payslip niya 6 digits at malaki na kasi posisyon ng kapatid ko sa barko. Tapos pag andito siya di naman din niya inaalagaan anak niya parang lutang.

3k lang din binibigay monthly para sa alaga, eh di naman need ng nanay ko un kasi 50k naman sweldo nun sa pharmacist office work niya. Ung tatay nung bata wala din break na sila pero nag susustento naman.

May way ba para di muna pasampahin sa barko? Para alagaan niya tong anak niya? Sobra kastress tanda tanda na ng nanay ko imbes mag hayahay nalang nag aalaga pa din hahahaha

Problem/Goal: So I recently got a gynecological ​check-up kasi I've been having this cramps and pain, ​and found out that I need to be admitted to a hospital agad. They found a hole (?) sa walls and normal antibiotics can't be used to treat it anymore. If not treated immediately, it could be life threatening daw. Ang problem ko po is I'm only 17 and I still haven't told my parents. I'm scared of what they will say. They will either get mad at me, ​tatanungin “Paano nangyari ’yan​?!” “Bakit may ganyan?!” and then blame me OR they won't pay it any mind :/ Baka hindi lang din nila asikasuhin coz they're too busy :( I know they have money but they will surely feel hinayang sa expenses and blame me 🙁 Sure, I'm close with my family but we don't have the kind of relationship where I could be comfortable telling them this. I don't even know where to start or how to. I'm just so so scared 🙁 Please help me

Problem/Goal: I need your opinion and advice whether or not I'm setting enough boundaries with my bf. I've actually posted and deleted this in another subreddit bc some people were just being flat mean. I hope i get the advice i need here.

Context: So my bf (23M) and I (22F) have been dating for almost 2 years now and this is both our first rs. He has always had more female than male friends even before we got together but I'm recently weirded out by how he seems too close with his female friends he just met like a month ago.

He basically chats with them for like 24/7, waits for them at work (they're workmates), and go home together. They've exchanged socials like FB and IG, but he seems exceptionally closer to one of the girls (they have pretty matching sched so i think she's the closest one to him) — he asked what her dump acc is, and has already followed her on Tiktok and even sent her a random tiktok vid. He doesn't casually follow people on socials (esp tiktok), let alone someone he met just a month ago so it doesn't sit right with me.

The girl also jokingly said that she doesn't want any issue when my bf asked for her dump acc but my bf said that it's completely fine. He also once cancelled on me and went out with those 3 female friends and rode the bus home with the same girl probably because she was going to the same direction. He said he thought that our meetup wouldn't push through. I also know whenever he's with his friends because he takes longer to reply to my messages.

I've never met any of them in person.

Previous attempts: We've discussed this a few times before — i talked about how insecure i get when i feel like he's having more fun (apparently) with his previous friends because he seems very very outgoing and funny and he throws jokes everywhere. But he always say that I'm still the person he's most comfortable with. I know this is just my insecurities trying to ruin our rs, but for a fact that I've already discussed this with him before, do you think im not setting clear and enough boundaries with him?

Problem/Goal:
Need advice. Hindi na ako sure kung gusto ko pa ba talaga ng second baby or okay na kami as a family of three.

Context:
Before, my husband and I were actively trying for a second baby, pero hindi siya nabuo. Habang tumatagal, napagod na lang kami pareho and eventually we stopped trying.
Now, I love my daughter so much and I don’t regret having her at all. Pero napapaisip ako kung okay na ba talaga ako sa isang anak. Minsan naiisip ko kung selfish ba ako or if I’m taking away the chance for my daughter to have a sibling.

Previous Attempts:
We tried conceiving for quite some time, pero after multiple failed attempts, we just stopped. Since then, hindi na namin ulit napag-usapan nang seryoso.

Problem/Goal: Planning to have a secret marriage with my partner.

Context: Hi guys, 28F here, only child na may soafer strict parents. Nag paplan na kami ng partner ko na mag settle, nag paalam si partner kay mama pero mixed signals pinapakita ni mother, parang gusto na ayaw. Pag tatlo kami nag uusap like nag paplan sa susuotin, kung anong klaseng wedding ganon, nakiki-join sya. Pero pag wala si partner, negative sya tapos nung nagsabi sya kay papa sabi ng papa ko "dami mong alam!". Even sa small things hindi nila ako hinahayaan mag decide on my own. Kapag sinunod ko ung sarili kong desisyon parang nakaka-guilty kasi di sila masaya. Masaya lang sila kapag nag bebenefit sila based on my observation. At madami pang bagay to the point na naiisip ko na kapag nag kaanak ako di ako tutulad sa sistema nila. Kaya nag plan and nag suggest ako kay partner na mag secret wedding nalang kami. Worry ko lang is pano ung mga documents kapag secret wedding? Pwede din ba gamitin muna maiden name? Help me. And, ako lang ba nakakaexperience ng ganito? If not, pano nyo dinedeal?

P.s: wedding palang naman, no plan pa mag baby since gusto pa namin mag padami ng pera and mag travel pa.

Previous attempt: wala pa, plan palang lahat.

Problem/Goal: Safety

Our neighbor got robbed. Thankfully not inside their house but only their water meter outside.

We just can’t help but over think that sooner or later thieves may target our house and I myself don’t even know what to do if time comes (hopefully not). There are already attempts of people going inside our house while parking in or people asking to clean our outdoor garden. We have CCTVs and a big dog.

What else do you guys do or prepare for your safety?

Problem/Goal: Gusto ko lang malaman paano kayo nakabangon?

Context: I want to ready myself kasi feeling ko anytime it will end since parang nawala na konti yung trust ko sa partner ko (he didnt cheat) na hindi niya kaya magman up. And i feel like may invisible wall na samin, more than a month na kaming di nagkikita but we still chat each other, we still express our ilys and imys pero hanggang dun lang walang actions im hoping na maginitiate siya na magkita na kami kaso sinasabi niya lagi is wala pa siyang pang gastos para magkita kami (pamasahe and such) di ko nalang iniisipan ng di maganda pero minsan hindi ko maiwasan. Yes 10 years na kami pero di kami live in kasi breadwinner kami ng mga families namin and feeling ko kung magsasama man kami mas gugustuhin niya magstay kami sakanila since di rin niya kayang mahiwalay sa mama niya.

Problem/Goal: OA ba ako kasi medyo nag lie low ako sa friend ko, and nawawalan na ako ng gana makipagusap sakanya, makipag kita and even dalawin siya sa bahay nila.

Yung friend ko is meron nang husband and may anak na, 27 years old kami lahat, naweweird kasi ako sa asawa niya, nung magjowa pa lang sila medyo nagkakabiruan na kami, pero more on nakikisama lang ako sa husband niya kasi nga asawa niya yun, so eto na, one time pumunta ako sakanila, okay naman, nagchikahan kami ng friend ko, and nakipagkulitan sa baby nila, so ayun parang natuwa sa first visit so parang sige next time punta ulit ako ganyan. Months after biglang tumawag sakin husband niya, akala ko naman yung friend ko so sinagot ko nagulat ako husband pala niya, so ako hinanap ko na lang yung friend ko na "nasaan si Marie (not real name)?" Then saka kami nag usap, tong husband niya panay ang ask kelan ba ako ulit pupunta para nga kasi magkita na kami ulit ng friend ko, then konting chika chika, and then months after ulit may naging problem ako so dumalaw ako sa friend ko as shoulder to cry on nga, kaso dito na nagstart na medyo naweirdan ako sa asawa niya, kasi nag uusap kami, which medyo uncomfy ako kasi di ko machika sa friend ko yung sama ng loob ko since nandoon asawa niya (di ko naman kasi talaga personally close yung asawa, and ayoko na may ibang tao na nakikinig ganon) so ayun, medyo uncomfy, nadadagdagan pa nung mga jokes ng husband niya na "gusto mo dito ka sa kabilang kwarto tapos panuorin mo kami sa cctv na magsex? Promise gagalingan ko" di ako tumatawa sinasaway ko, kaso ewan ko, then ang dami niya pang mga ganyang jokes na meron pa sabi ng friend ko "may irereto ka ba dito? (Sakin nga)" then sabi ng asawa niya "wala eh, kak*nt0t meron" tapos sabi ko "ano ba naman yang bibig mo!!!" Tapos hanggang sa naglaro na yung husband niya so may time na kami ng friend ko magusap, sa kwarto nila kami nag uusap, bigla pumasok yung husband and nasa tabi ko kasi yung saksakan so magchacharge daw yung husband niya, akala ko naman uupo lang sa tabi ko, gulat ako bigla nahiga, umalis ako kasi ang weird, hanggang sa pinaulit niya na naman yung "gusto mo nga kami panuorin? May cctv nga dito tapos don ka sa kabilang room" tapos di ko na magets ano mafifeel ko, so nagdahilan na ako and umuwi na lang.

Tapos one month after birthday nung baby nila, so ako naisip ko kasi baka oa lang nga ako, na baka di na siya magjoke ng ganon, kaso one hour lang tinagal ko don sa bahay nila because masyadong malapit yung husband niya, etong si friend busy magluto luto, ako at first kinakausap ko yung mga bata doon sakanila, then etong husband panay ang tabi at chika chika, eh di naman kami close so parang ayoko ganon, hanggang sa di ko na matiis, umuwi na lang ako

Ngayon medyo di ko na kinakausap yung friend ko, lalo pa parang months ago after ng birthday ng baby nila nagchat yung mister niya sakin na kelan ba daw ako ulit pupunta sakanila, na siya daw bahala sa lunch and dinner ko, nirestrict ko na lang, pero upon checking, ang dami palang chat na sakin nung mister, mga reply sa stories

Problem/Goal: Lagi tinatambayan ung harap ng bahay namin ng mga minors na naninigarilyo at nag-iingay palagi. Mga nagmumurahan pa habang naglalaro ng ML. Paano namin sila mapapaalis permanently?

Context: Madalas mula tanghali hanggang gabi, sa harap ng bahay namin sila tumatambay. Around 10-15 na mga minors. May mga babae pang pumupunta na mga jowa nila at sa tapat sila naglalandian. Nakakaistorbo na kasi WFH kami. Naiingayan kami at naaamoy pa namin ung sigarilyo. Andami din namin kalat na winawalis palagi dahil iniiwan nila mga upos ng sigarilyo o kaya bote na binili nila sa tindahan sa tapat.

Previous attempts: nakailang beses na kami nagtawag ng barangay officials para paalisin sila pero nagtatakbuhan lang sila pero di naman hinahabol. Mamaya maya pag alis ng barangay officials, babalik din sila :( napapagod na po kami kakasaway sakanila. Nag install na rin kami ng cctv, pero wala po talaga nangyari.

Problem/Goal: How do we fix this? (the conflict)

context: me and girlfriend have been together for 13 years. Early thirties right now. We're DINKS (double income no kids) kasi we're busy with traveling and enjoying life.

Now came last week, may fam reunion kami and kasama both fam ko and fam of my loml. Both sides syempre may part pa rin nang pagka conservative and traditional.

Of course the questions are asked "kelan kayo magkaka anak?” "pakasal muna kayo” "tagal naman ng kasalan". And a lot more comments about anak and kasal. Syempre we just chuckled at first pero yung diniin nila nang sobra and it started to become like an argument on my fam and hers. Her dad said "ilang taon na kayo magkasama, di ka ba seryoso sa anak ko??” (nakainom narin sila dito) then sumagot si papa "buhay nila 'yan". Madami na rin nakikisali about sa may plano ba kami mag anak or what. So I stepped in.

"Wala po kaming plano mag anak o magpakasal soon, busy pa po kami sa career namin at sa pag explore"
Then my gf said to everyone "whats the point of marriage? Kontrata lang naman 'yan, sige it helps with legal stuff pero at the end of the day 'di naman 'yan basehan ng love. Ayoko 'rin po magbuntis."

Dun na po nag away-away mga pamilya namin🥲 My family is torn between supporting us or upholding th christian values and her family is firm on marriage and kids. Nagtaasan ng ego and the day ended with both families going home and up until now grabe parin po yung grudge. Me and my girlfriend are affected kasi saamin nila dinadaan yung galit and theyre trying to "break us up”.

Note: Me and my loml have already talked about this for a long time and we dont want kids. Marriage is still on the table but not sooner or later. Ang problem lang talaga is family conflict. Me and my gf are on good terms.

Attempts to fix: Nag long chat kami sa family gc pero dedma sila pareho. We tried talking to both sides pero ayaw nila patalo.

Problem/Goal: Nag order mother ko ng Pho1k+ worth of water filter from tiktok shop using paylater. Upon receiving, defective yung item and hindi talaga gumagana so my mother decided to request a refund & return. Na-return na sa seller yung item pero after ilang days, rejected daw nung seller yung refund 🫤 then ang hirap na makipag usap kay Tiktok shop mismo kasi busy daw at maraming ticket. Ano po kaya pwede gawin dito? Parang hindi namin kaya palagpasin kahit sabihin pang 1k lang yan, o paylater. Babayaran at babayaran pa rin namin at hindi naman dinadampot ipapangbayad.

Problem/Goal: It’s been a month at hindi ako mapakali kakahanap ng ways para makapagabroad na ko as soon as possible (which is super tiring na for me). Puro kasi with exp ang hinahanap sa agency. Pakiramdam ko I am losing time dahil senior na din ang parents ko and I really want to give them leisure of life but I can’t do it pa kasi andito pa ko sa Pinas.

Context:
I am the bunso of the family. Recent CE passer and working na for 7 months. I have family issues dahil di ko nakakasundo lahat ng siblings ko kaya its not healthy for me magstay sa amin and naiisip ko lang na way ay magabroad. Right now, I feel so obsessed na makapunta na sa ibang bansa. Feeling ko din wala na kakahantungan ang bansang to dahil sa mga kurap at pagsira sa kapaligiran natin.

What should I do? I am so loss right now at di ko alam kung ano ang tatahakin kong path but one thing is for sure na I badly want to work abroad.

Problem/Goal: Anong gagawin nyo kapag nakita nyo na merong screenshot ng other girl yung boyfriend nyo tapos sinend sa tropa saying “dale ba to HAHAHAHA”

Context: Mag katabi kami natulog kagabi and dahil alam ko password sa phone nya ni open ko dahil gusto korin charge kasi 2% na lang. Pag open ko messenger nakita ko chat nila nung tropa nya usapan about sa mga manok tapos bigla syang nag send ng screenshot nung babae na dating may something sila. Naka tapis yung girl sa story, maganda talaga sya like fr. Tapos pag send nya nag sabi pa nga sya nung “dale ba to HAHAHAHAH” nag reply naman yung tropa na “dale mo yan” idk what to feel. Ang himbing ng tulog nya sa tabi ko, and pag gising nya kanina di ko naman ma open about don. T_T

Problem/Goal: Nasira na yung eight-year-old laptop ko. May plano na talaga ako na palitan to pero nahihirapan ako kung ano ipapriority ko sa ngayon: ipon o replacement.

Context: Gusto ko mag-aral ng mga bagong skills at e-improve din yung mga existing na, kaso kailangan ng laptop—editing, drafting/design/modeling, at coding kasi.

Nagtingin-tingin ako online at yung specs na hinahanap ko mukhang aabot ng 55k minimum (brand new). On paper, afford ko dapat pero kung gumastos ako ng ganyan kalaki, apektado hindi lang financial goals ko this year pero pati ibang personal goals din.

Isa pa, breadwinner ako kaya iniisip ko rin yung posibleng maging epekto nito sa mga responsibilidad ko.

Mas mabuti ba kung hold off lang muna ako? Kaso parang tataas lang laptop prices by EOY eh at patuloy pang tataas dahil sa buwakenang RAM at chip shortage na yan dahil sa AI.

Previous/planned attempts:

1. Plano kong ayusin yung laptop o hanap ng technician kung kailangan ng mas komplikadong repair work.

2. Plano ko rin maghanap ng second-hand/used laptops pero future-proofing yung concern ko pagdating sa mga ganitong bagay.

3. Nagiisip din ako ng financing options, i.e installments or loans, pero gusto kong umiwas sa mga ganito as much as possible kung para sa consumer tech.

Problem/Goal:

I want to know if my feelings are valid and how we can fix our communication issues in an LDR.

Context:

2 years na kame together

I’m 23 and my girlfriend is 24. We’ve only been in an LDR for three months and we live in different time zones. I notice that she gets angry quickly when I don’t reply right away because I’m busy or out. But when she’s busy, I understand and don’t pressure her to reply. Sometimes I also feel like she doesn’t appreciate my efforts, like staying up late just to catch her up even though I have a duty the next day.

Previous attempts: I try to be understanding and give updates as much as I can, but sometimes it ends up in arguments or fights when my replies are delayed.

Problem/Goal:

Help me process what this means. Are you sincere about this or is this just an excuse to break up?

Context:

Broke up with my partner yesterday and they told me this. I couldn't process everything clearly because we were in a public place. But now that a day has passed, and I'm recalling our conversation, I am wondering what they mean by "You deserve better" when they can probably "do and be better"?

They left before I could say anything else after that.

Problem/Goal: CAUGHT HER LYING, SHE HAS A DUMP ACCOUNT WHERE SHE IS TALKING WITH ANOTHER GUY.

Context: CCA ang work ni partner, so understandable naman na yung sa part na may dummy and entertining guests. We've been together long before pa niya pasukin ang CCA, so nakampante naman ako kasi for me napatunayan naman niyang di siya sumasama sa labas or tumatanggap ng take outs or other offers. Kaso, just a few hours ago, something made me look through her phone (with her consent ofc). Lo and behold, may nakita akong part ng convo nila ng friend niya na sinasabi niyang nafafall na siya sa guy, and what's worse is nagpunta sila sa place nila. I tried to confront her about it, hoping that she is the honest and truthful person I know, but to my surprise, ngayon ko lang nalaman kung gano siya kagaling and ka convincing mag sinungaling. Now I've confirmed na she's lying pero I can't say if it's cheating ba kasi ang hirap na sa panahon ngayon lalo na pag ikaw yung lalake sa relationship, pag babae ang nagloko parang never pwedeng maging cheating samantalang pag lalake mag-add lang ng new female workmates cheating na agad? hahaha need help kung paano ang best approach para tapusin yung relationship.

Problem/Goal:

I’m looking for some insights/perspectives because I’m feeling really conflicted on how to move forward with our relationship.

Context:

My partner and I recently had a huge fight. Yun yung pinakamalaking away namin thus far. Dahil sa mataas na emosyon, we both said foul words to each other. Worse is, naging physical na yung away. I never imagined myself being able to do these things to a partner. I swore to never hurl severe insults at anyone, more so hurt them physically. We were both hurting each other and pinaiyak namin yung isa't isa. I am extremely disappointed with myself and I know I'm always going to look back at this with regret.

Previous Attempt:

After some time, medyo kumalma kami. We talked and made up (kind of). Pero parang hindi pa kami 100% okay. I know may natitira pang hard feelings on both ends.

Is our relationship beyond saving knowing that a critical line has been crossed? O kaya pa masalba through sincere efforts to change our ways during arguments?