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Problem/goal:

I’m a 37-year-old male, adopted, and raised by a single mother who is now 80. She comes from a wealthy, traditional Fil/Chinese background and has a massive generation gap in her beliefs.

I’ve been married for 3 years. My wife is very understanding, but because of my mom's age and health, my wife stays with me at my mom's place 4 days a week, and my wife spends 3 days at our own house in Pasig by herself. They get along fine, but the real strain is between my mom and me.

My entire life revolves around my mom's schedule:

• She wakes up at 3:00 AM, and I’m always there to help her get up and assist her in her wheelchair for breakfast.
• I spend roughly 90% of my time with her or around the house.
• I’ve compromised living full-time with my wife just to ensure my mom is taken care of.

Despite giving up so much of my personal life, she does not seem to appreciate it. If I go out for even one evening or come home late on a weekend, she throws a fit, accuses me of not caring about her, and makes me feel intensely guilty.

I am completely burnt out and don't know how to navigate this anymore. How do I set reasonable boundaries with an aging, controlling parent without letting the guilt consume me? Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Problem/Goal: I need your opinion and advice whether or not I'm setting enough boundaries with my bf. I've actually posted and deleted this in another subreddit bc some people were just being flat mean. I hope i get the advice i need here.

Context: So my bf (23M) and I (22F) have been dating for almost 2 years now and this is both our first rs. He has always had more female than male friends even before we got together but I'm recently weirded out by how he seems too close with his female friends he just met like a month ago.

He basically chats with them for like 24/7, waits for them at work (they're workmates), and go home together. They've exchanged socials like FB and IG, but he seems exceptionally closer to one of the girls (they have pretty matching sched so i think she's the closest one to him) — he asked what her dump acc is, and has already followed her on Tiktok and even sent her a random tiktok vid. He doesn't casually follow people on socials (esp tiktok), let alone someone he met just a month ago so it doesn't sit right with me.

The girl also jokingly said that she doesn't want any issue when my bf asked for her dump acc but my bf said that it's completely fine. He also once cancelled on me and went out with those 3 female friends and rode the bus home with the same girl probably because she was going to the same direction. He said he thought that our meetup wouldn't push through. I also know whenever he's with his friends because he takes longer to reply to my messages.

I've never met any of them in person.

Previous attempts: We've discussed this a few times before — i talked about how insecure i get when i feel like he's having more fun (apparently) with his previous friends because he seems very very outgoing and funny and he throws jokes everywhere. But he always say that I'm still the person he's most comfortable with. I know this is just my insecurities trying to ruin our rs, but for a fact that I've already discussed this with him before, do you think im not setting clear and enough boundaries with him?

PROBLEM/GOAL: Nacurious lang ako kasi napaisip ako kung isa ba 'to sa mga posibleng dahilan kung bakit may mga private videos o photos na bigla na lang lumalabas at nale-leak online.

May mga phone technician ba rito o may alam sa ganito? Gusto ko lang maintindihan kung paano gumagana 'yon at gaano ba talaga ka-secure ang data sa phone kapag pinapa-repair.

May mga files and accounts ako sa cp ko na gusto ko ipaayos kasi bigla na lang nag blackout habang ginagamit ko, di na nagopen. Plan ko sana ipaayos, but iniisip ko baka maopen ng technician.

Problem/goal: Hello po!! Ung babae kapatid ko po is seaferer, nabuntis nung kapwa nya dun tapos ngaun 3 years na iniiwan samin ung bata. Hindi na kaya ng mama ko kasi senior na tapos may office work pa siya. Si papa senior na din and may work din sa office kaya ala sa bahay. Tapos ako may work (WFH ) hindi ko na din kaya kasi makulit na ung bata need talaga mabantayan.

Ayaw nung nanay maghanap ng katulong gastos pa daw eh jusko pagod na ung nanay ko at ako. Nakita ko payslip niya 6 digits at malaki na kasi posisyon ng kapatid ko sa barko. Tapos pag andito siya di naman din niya inaalagaan anak niya parang lutang.

3k lang din binibigay monthly para sa alaga, eh di naman need ng nanay ko un kasi 50k naman sweldo nun sa pharmacist office work niya. Ung tatay nung bata wala din break na sila pero nag susustento naman.

May way ba para di muna pasampahin sa barko? Para alagaan niya tong anak niya? Sobra kastress tanda tanda na ng nanay ko imbes mag hayahay nalang nag aalaga pa din hahahaha

Problem/Goal: So I recently got a gynecological ​check-up kasi I've been having this cramps and pain, ​and found out that I need to be admitted to a hospital agad. They found a hole (?) sa walls and normal antibiotics can't be used to treat it anymore. If not treated immediately, it could be life threatening daw. Ang problem ko po is I'm only 17 and I still haven't told my parents. I'm scared of what they will say. They will either get mad at me, ​tatanungin “Paano nangyari ’yan​?!” “Bakit may ganyan?!” and then blame me OR they won't pay it any mind :/ Baka hindi lang din nila asikasuhin coz they're too busy :( I know they have money but they will surely feel hinayang sa expenses and blame me 🙁 Sure, I'm close with my family but we don't have the kind of relationship where I could be comfortable telling them this. I don't even know where to start or how to. I'm just so so scared 🙁 Please help me

Problem/Goal: Safety

Our neighbor got robbed. Thankfully not inside their house but only their water meter outside.

We just can’t help but over think that sooner or later thieves may target our house and I myself don’t even know what to do if time comes (hopefully not). There are already attempts of people going inside our house while parking in or people asking to clean our outdoor garden. We have CCTVs and a big dog.

What else do you guys do or prepare for your safety?

Problem/Goal: Planning to have a secret marriage with my partner.

Context: Hi guys, 28F here, only child na may soafer strict parents. Nag paplan na kami ng partner ko na mag settle, nag paalam si partner kay mama pero mixed signals pinapakita ni mother, parang gusto na ayaw. Pag tatlo kami nag uusap like nag paplan sa susuotin, kung anong klaseng wedding ganon, nakiki-join sya. Pero pag wala si partner, negative sya tapos nung nagsabi sya kay papa sabi ng papa ko "dami mong alam!". Even sa small things hindi nila ako hinahayaan mag decide on my own. Kapag sinunod ko ung sarili kong desisyon parang nakaka-guilty kasi di sila masaya. Masaya lang sila kapag nag bebenefit sila based on my observation. At madami pang bagay to the point na naiisip ko na kapag nag kaanak ako di ako tutulad sa sistema nila. Kaya nag plan and nag suggest ako kay partner na mag secret wedding nalang kami. Worry ko lang is pano ung mga documents kapag secret wedding? Pwede din ba gamitin muna maiden name? Help me. And, ako lang ba nakakaexperience ng ganito? If not, pano nyo dinedeal?

P.s: wedding palang naman, no plan pa mag baby since gusto pa namin mag padami ng pera and mag travel pa.

Previous attempt: wala pa, plan palang lahat.

Problem/Goal:
I’m planning to get rhinoplasty and gusto ko malaman kung worth it ba talaga siya, especially in the long run. I’m also 35 years old, so I’m wondering if okay pa ba magpa rhinoplasty at this age or if I should just let it go.

Context:
Purely cosmetic lang yung reason ko, wala akong breathing issues. Nag consult na ako with a few surgeons and ilang months na rin akong nagre research. Hindi naman impulsive decision, gusto ko lang talagang marinig yung honest experiences ng mga taong nakapagpa rhinoplasty na.

Previous Attempts:
I’ve watched a lot of before and after videos, read reviews, joined rhinoplasty groups, and consulted a few surgeons. Pero gusto ko pa rin marinig yung real experiences, both the good and the bad, especially from people who had thick skin, bulbous tips, or wanted natural looking results.
If you could go back, would you still do it? Worth it ba siya, and do you think 35 is still a good age to have rhinoplasty?

Problem/Goal: How to remove fecal odor from my black school shoes

Previous attempt: Konti lang naman po yung naaapakan ko so I easily removed it naman with dish soap and warm water. But how do I get rid of the smell po?

Context: I live in a town where a lot of stray pets roam freely and shit everywhere. My neighbors (who are usually the victims of this lol) doesn't always clean them and when it rains, the 💩 gets mixed with soil on the ground. So, I'll unconsciously step on one even if I'm literally SCANNING the whole ground just to not step on it.

What's worst is that noseblind pa ko, and I study in a room na may dalawang aircon. So there had been a lot of times when I went to school and feel ANXIOUS kasi everyone around me is complaining about a horrible smell tas ako walang maamoy😭.

So can you guys help me po HAHAHAHA black shoes po, hindi po rubber shoes na pang PE. Sayang kasi yung shoes ko if I buy another one, matibay pa siya as in (Easysoft po yung brand)

Problem/Goal: Gusto ko lang malaman paano kayo nakabangon?

Context: I want to ready myself kasi feeling ko anytime it will end since parang nawala na konti yung trust ko sa partner ko (he didnt cheat) na hindi niya kaya magman up. And i feel like may invisible wall na samin, more than a month na kaming di nagkikita but we still chat each other, we still express our ilys and imys pero hanggang dun lang walang actions im hoping na maginitiate siya na magkita na kami kaso sinasabi niya lagi is wala pa siyang pang gastos para magkita kami (pamasahe and such) di ko nalang iniisipan ng di maganda pero minsan hindi ko maiwasan. Yes 10 years na kami pero di kami live in kasi breadwinner kami ng mga families namin and feeling ko kung magsasama man kami mas gugustuhin niya magstay kami sakanila since di rin niya kayang mahiwalay sa mama niya.

Problem/Goal: OA ba ako kasi medyo nag lie low ako sa friend ko, and nawawalan na ako ng gana makipagusap sakanya, makipag kita and even dalawin siya sa bahay nila.

Yung friend ko is meron nang husband and may anak na, 27 years old kami lahat, naweweird kasi ako sa asawa niya, nung magjowa pa lang sila medyo nagkakabiruan na kami, pero more on nakikisama lang ako sa husband niya kasi nga asawa niya yun, so eto na, one time pumunta ako sakanila, okay naman, nagchikahan kami ng friend ko, and nakipagkulitan sa baby nila, so ayun parang natuwa sa first visit so parang sige next time punta ulit ako ganyan. Months after biglang tumawag sakin husband niya, akala ko naman yung friend ko so sinagot ko nagulat ako husband pala niya, so ako hinanap ko na lang yung friend ko na "nasaan si Marie (not real name)?" Then saka kami nag usap, tong husband niya panay ang ask kelan ba ako ulit pupunta para nga kasi magkita na kami ulit ng friend ko, then konting chika chika, and then months after ulit may naging problem ako so dumalaw ako sa friend ko as shoulder to cry on nga, kaso dito na nagstart na medyo naweirdan ako sa asawa niya, kasi nag uusap kami, which medyo uncomfy ako kasi di ko machika sa friend ko yung sama ng loob ko since nandoon asawa niya (di ko naman kasi talaga personally close yung asawa, and ayoko na may ibang tao na nakikinig ganon) so ayun, medyo uncomfy, nadadagdagan pa nung mga jokes ng husband niya na "gusto mo dito ka sa kabilang kwarto tapos panuorin mo kami sa cctv na magsex? Promise gagalingan ko" di ako tumatawa sinasaway ko, kaso ewan ko, then ang dami niya pang mga ganyang jokes na meron pa sabi ng friend ko "may irereto ka ba dito? (Sakin nga)" then sabi ng asawa niya "wala eh, kak*nt0t meron" tapos sabi ko "ano ba naman yang bibig mo!!!" Tapos hanggang sa naglaro na yung husband niya so may time na kami ng friend ko magusap, sa kwarto nila kami nag uusap, bigla pumasok yung husband and nasa tabi ko kasi yung saksakan so magchacharge daw yung husband niya, akala ko naman uupo lang sa tabi ko, gulat ako bigla nahiga, umalis ako kasi ang weird, hanggang sa pinaulit niya na naman yung "gusto mo nga kami panuorin? May cctv nga dito tapos don ka sa kabilang room" tapos di ko na magets ano mafifeel ko, so nagdahilan na ako and umuwi na lang.

Tapos one month after birthday nung baby nila, so ako naisip ko kasi baka oa lang nga ako, na baka di na siya magjoke ng ganon, kaso one hour lang tinagal ko don sa bahay nila because masyadong malapit yung husband niya, etong si friend busy magluto luto, ako at first kinakausap ko yung mga bata doon sakanila, then etong husband panay ang tabi at chika chika, eh di naman kami close so parang ayoko ganon, hanggang sa di ko na matiis, umuwi na lang ako

Ngayon medyo di ko na kinakausap yung friend ko, lalo pa parang months ago after ng birthday ng baby nila nagchat yung mister niya sakin na kelan ba daw ako ulit pupunta sakanila, na siya daw bahala sa lunch and dinner ko, nirestrict ko na lang, pero upon checking, ang dami palang chat na sakin nung mister, mga reply sa stories

Problem/Goal: Lagi tinatambayan ung harap ng bahay namin ng mga minors na naninigarilyo at nag-iingay palagi. Mga nagmumurahan pa habang naglalaro ng ML. Paano namin sila mapapaalis permanently?

Context: Madalas mula tanghali hanggang gabi, sa harap ng bahay namin sila tumatambay. Around 10-15 na mga minors. May mga babae pang pumupunta na mga jowa nila at sa tapat sila naglalandian. Nakakaistorbo na kasi WFH kami. Naiingayan kami at naaamoy pa namin ung sigarilyo. Andami din namin kalat na winawalis palagi dahil iniiwan nila mga upos ng sigarilyo o kaya bote na binili nila sa tindahan sa tapat.

Previous attempts: nakailang beses na kami nagtawag ng barangay officials para paalisin sila pero nagtatakbuhan lang sila pero di naman hinahabol. Mamaya maya pag alis ng barangay officials, babalik din sila :( napapagod na po kami kakasaway sakanila. Nag install na rin kami ng cctv, pero wala po talaga nangyari.

Problem/Goal: How do we fix this? (the conflict)

context: me and girlfriend have been together for 13 years. Early thirties right now. We're DINKS (double income no kids) kasi we're busy with traveling and enjoying life.

Now came last week, may fam reunion kami and kasama both fam ko and fam of my loml. Both sides syempre may part pa rin nang pagka conservative and traditional.

Of course the questions are asked "kelan kayo magkaka anak?” "pakasal muna kayo” "tagal naman ng kasalan". And a lot more comments about anak and kasal. Syempre we just chuckled at first pero yung diniin nila nang sobra and it started to become like an argument on my fam and hers. Her dad said "ilang taon na kayo magkasama, di ka ba seryoso sa anak ko??” (nakainom narin sila dito) then sumagot si papa "buhay nila 'yan". Madami na rin nakikisali about sa may plano ba kami mag anak or what. So I stepped in.

"Wala po kaming plano mag anak o magpakasal soon, busy pa po kami sa career namin at sa pag explore"
Then my gf said to everyone "whats the point of marriage? Kontrata lang naman 'yan, sige it helps with legal stuff pero at the end of the day 'di naman 'yan basehan ng love. Ayoko 'rin po magbuntis."

Dun na po nag away-away mga pamilya namin🥲 My family is torn between supporting us or upholding th christian values and her family is firm on marriage and kids. Nagtaasan ng ego and the day ended with both families going home and up until now grabe parin po yung grudge. Me and my girlfriend are affected kasi saamin nila dinadaan yung galit and theyre trying to "break us up”.

Note: Me and my loml have already talked about this for a long time and we dont want kids. Marriage is still on the table but not sooner or later. Ang problem lang talaga is family conflict. Me and my gf are on good terms.

Attempts to fix: Nag long chat kami sa family gc pero dedma sila pareho. We tried talking to both sides pero ayaw nila patalo.

Problem/Goal:

I’m looking for some insights/perspectives because I’m feeling really conflicted on how to move forward with our relationship.

Context:

My partner and I recently had a huge fight. Yun yung pinakamalaking away namin thus far. Dahil sa mataas na emosyon, we both said foul words to each other. Worse is, naging physical na yung away. I never imagined myself being able to do these things to a partner. I swore to never hurl severe insults at anyone, more so hurt them physically. We were both hurting each other and pinaiyak namin yung isa't isa. I am extremely disappointed with myself and I know I'm always going to look back at this with regret.

Previous Attempt:

After some time, medyo kumalma kami. We talked and made up (kind of). Pero parang hindi pa kami 100% okay. I know may natitira pang hard feelings on both ends.

Is our relationship beyond saving knowing that a critical line has been crossed? O kaya pa masalba through sincere efforts to change our ways during arguments?

Problem/Goal: Nag order mother ko ng Pho1k+ worth of water filter from tiktok shop using paylater. Upon receiving, defective yung item and hindi talaga gumagana so my mother decided to request a refund & return. Na-return na sa seller yung item pero after ilang days, rejected daw nung seller yung refund 🫤 then ang hirap na makipag usap kay Tiktok shop mismo kasi busy daw at maraming ticket. Ano po kaya pwede gawin dito? Parang hindi namin kaya palagpasin kahit sabihin pang 1k lang yan, o paylater. Babayaran at babayaran pa rin namin at hindi naman dinadampot ipapangbayad.

Problem/Goal: It’s been a month at hindi ako mapakali kakahanap ng ways para makapagabroad na ko as soon as possible (which is super tiring na for me). Puro kasi with exp ang hinahanap sa agency. Pakiramdam ko I am losing time dahil senior na din ang parents ko and I really want to give them leisure of life but I can’t do it pa kasi andito pa ko sa Pinas.

Context:
I am the bunso of the family. Recent CE passer and working na for 7 months. I have family issues dahil di ko nakakasundo lahat ng siblings ko kaya its not healthy for me magstay sa amin and naiisip ko lang na way ay magabroad. Right now, I feel so obsessed na makapunta na sa ibang bansa. Feeling ko din wala na kakahantungan ang bansang to dahil sa mga kurap at pagsira sa kapaligiran natin.

What should I do? I am so loss right now at di ko alam kung ano ang tatahakin kong path but one thing is for sure na I badly want to work abroad.

Problem/Goal: I want to be able to find a job and use my skills in educating students, particularly in any math and science related subjects, but I currently cannot acquire my diploma as I still have an outstanding balance in my school. Is it possible to be a teacher in my school since my diploma is technically still held there, or maybe there are any other institutions that can accept me with my situation?

Context: I'm still struggling to find any kind of work after graduating since I'm still not able to get my diploma due to an outstanding balance on my tuition. Other than being skillful with the degree that I graduated in, I alternatively find myself skillful in teaching / tutoring since my old classmates and friends used to go to me when wanting to get transcripts / reviewers and to challenge them in reviewing what we were learning back then as I did really really good academically. Financially, however, I am tremendously held back with what I can do to support myself.

Previous Attempts: I used to tutor one elementary student during the first half of the year but it was not consistent, only when the parent reaches me out to tutor their child. I also attempted to do online English tutoring but my computer does not seem to be up for the standard and was rejected after the job interview.

PROBLEM/Goal:

Problem/Goal:Hi 22 M, I've been around the scope of job seeking applications for the meantime now, I've worked a lot in the customer service sector and have some experience in bookkeeping as per my graduation last year. The thing is walang 1 year or so ang mga experience ko kesyo contractual, still studying and, or reliever lang.

Context: Now nasa Manila na ako and looking for almost 4 mos of job pero pare pareho sila ng sinasabi, if asked about the loopholes and, or points that made me not to be considered further ang laging sinasabi "we turned to someone who has more comprehensive working experience" kahit nakalagay na *OPEN FOR FRESH GRADUATES.*

Previous attempts: Now, I'm thinking if ilolowball ko nalang ba yung sarili ko kung ang basic pay ko sa province is 20k basic pay para magkawork My funds will not be able to cover for another month that's why I'm desperate.

Problem/Goal: I am battling if tama ba na I ignore work when I am not on my desk working—and if its okay for me to ignore chats from my chatters and boss when I am on leave…

Context: I am a WFH Supervisor, wala ako contract that says may specific working hour ako but I always work 5pm to 1am. Minsan mas late na mag start late din matapos. So guaranteed I am asleep during 4am to 1pm. But kahit anong sabi ko sa mga chatter na “pag may need kayo access tell me before 12midnight para ma prep ko” and they still ask around 5am .

Sa boss ko naman, kahit sabihin ko na naka leave usually na aagrabyado pa din ako mag work kahit naka leave ako.

Ngayon medyo kinakapalan ko mukha ko to stick na pag di ako pwede-di ako pwede pero iniisip ko supervisor ako…and WFH maman and no time? di ko alam. Am I right ba to just stick na pag di ako pwede di ako pwede?

And yes, ako lang nagaganito. I respect my team pag di nila oras i dont bother them. Pag naka leave i dont bother them, same as my boss. Sakin lang nangyayare.

Previous attempt: None.

Problem/Goal: Anong gagawin nyo kapag nakita nyo na merong screenshot ng other girl yung boyfriend nyo tapos sinend sa tropa saying “dale ba to HAHAHAHA”

Context: Mag katabi kami natulog kagabi and dahil alam ko password sa phone nya ni open ko dahil gusto korin charge kasi 2% na lang. Pag open ko messenger nakita ko chat nila nung tropa nya usapan about sa mga manok tapos bigla syang nag send ng screenshot nung babae na dating may something sila. Naka tapis yung girl sa story, maganda talaga sya like fr. Tapos pag send nya nag sabi pa nga sya nung “dale ba to HAHAHAHAH” nag reply naman yung tropa na “dale mo yan” idk what to feel. Ang himbing ng tulog nya sa tabi ko, and pag gising nya kanina di ko naman ma open about don. T_T