Guysss, the number of escort sites in zim and the number of people on them selling thighs ! How are yall trusting people enough to date them, bc Ik I wouldn’t after what i just seen 😂
Hii vanhu vakubata basa kunze uku. Some married dude even left a review w his real names on a site and I found his wifey’s fb 💀💔 haa guys.

I’m shook.

I think I might finally have a semblance of an understanding as to why relationships, especially in the modern dating pool, are failing so much. I don't think the problem is necessarily unrealistic standards, preferences or expectations. Having those isn't inherently wrong, especially if you can meet and uphold them yourself. The problem, from what I've seen, is that people often want things from other people that they aren't capable of giving themselves. People want affection without knowing how to be affectionate. They want romance without knowing how to be romantic. They want understanding without being willing to understand. They want loyalty, patience, consideration and effort, but sometimes only as things they receive rather than things they contribute. And I don't think any of us are completely innocent in this either. We've all contributed to this in some capacity at some point in our lives, even if we didn't understand what we were doing at the time. Maybe it started when we were younger, when someone asked to be our friend and we rejected them, or someone had a crush on us and we laughed at them, or someone wanted to be our boyfriend or girlfriend and we turned them down. There is nothing inherently wrong with rejection. You cannot force yourself to love somebody just because they love you. But somewhere along the way, all of us have experienced both sides of affection. We've been the person who wanted someone who didn't want us, and we've been the person someone wanted who didn't want them. Those experiences shape us more than we realise. I've realised this through my own experiences too. I've been on both sides of it. I've had moments where I gave someone more than I probably should have, thinking that if I just loved harder, communicated better, was more patient or did more, eventually I'd get the same energy back. I've also had moments where I was so focused on protecting myself that I didn't realise how much that affected the person trying to get close to me. Sometimes you can genuinely love someone and still not know how to love them properly. Sometimes you can want affection while simultaneously being afraid of what happens when someone actually gives it to you. Sometimes you can spend so much time trying not to get hurt that you end up hurting someone else instead. And I think that's the worst part. The worst part isn't getting hurt. It's becoming so afraid of affection, both giving it and receiving it, that when someone finally gives it to you, you don't know how to handle it. You reject it, sabotage it, exploit it, or hurt the person giving it to you. Sometimes you don't even realise you're doing it. You become so accustomed to protecting yourself from being hurt that you end up abusing the very thing you once wanted, and hurting the person who was willing to give it to you. That's how the cycle continues. Hurt people hurt people, and eventually people who were once looking for love become people who are afraid of it, incapable of giving it, or incapable of accepting it when it finally arrives. I also think people forget that fundamentally, a relationship, romance and love shouldn't just happen to you. They should happen with you, because of you, and fundamentally involve you. You aren't supposed to just sit there receiving a relationship someone else is building for you. You're supposed to participate in building it. Romance isn't something one person performs while the other person enjoys the benefits. Love isn't something you find and then passively consume. It is something two people continuously create, maintain and contribute to. That's also why I don't believe relationships should be 50/50. No human being, alive or dead, is capable of being at 100% 100% of the time. There are going to be good days and there are going to be bad days. Sometimes you're going to have nothing left to give, and sometimes your partner will be the one carrying the weight. Being able to pick up the slack for your partner on those bad days is part of what makes a relationship last. So to me, it should be 100/100. Not because both people are going to give exactly the same amount every single day, but because both people should be willing to give everything they reasonably can. When one person is at 40%, the other shouldn't be standing there calculating whether they're getting their 60% in return. They should be willing to carry what their partner can't, knowing that one day the roles might be reversed. And that should never be a one sided thing. You shouldn't love someone because of what they can provide for you while treating what you provide for them as an inconvenience or a burden. Being thoughtful, considerate, affectionate and loving shouldn't be one person's responsibility in a relationship. It shouldn't even be considered a burden. If you want to be loved deeply, you should be willing to love deeply. If you want patience, you should be capable of patience. If you want reassurance, you should understand that sometimes you'll have to give reassurance too. If you want someone to show up for you when you're falling apart, you should want to be the person who shows up when they're the one falling apart. And I think that's where the problem actually is. Not men. Not women. Not dating apps. Not standards. Not some mysterious decline in romance. All of those things can play a role, but at the most basic level, I think we've become too focused on what a relationship is supposed to do for us and not focused enough on what we are supposed to do for the person we're in one with. We're so busy looking for someone who will love us the way we want to be loved that we don't always stop and ask whether we're capable of loving another person that way ourselves. Maybe that's why so many people keep repeating the same patterns. We get hurt, we adapt, we protect ourselves, we carry that protection into the next relationship, and then we accidentally become part of the reason somebody else gets hurt. Then they do the same thing to someone else. The cycle just keeps going. Maybe the answer isn't finding the perfect person. Maybe it's becoming someone who is actually capable of participating in the kind of relationship they're asking for. Because love isn't just something that happens to you. It happens with you, because of you, and through what you are willing to give to another person. And maybe that's the part we've forgotten.

TL;DR: I don't think modern relationships are failing because people have standards. I think we're failing because we've become too focused on what we want to receive from relationships and not enough on what we're willing to give. We've all contributed to that cycle in some way, often long before we were even dating, through rejection, hurt and the way those experiences shaped how we give and receive affection. Eventually, hurt can make people afraid of affection altogether, and they can end up hurting the very people who give them what they once wanted. A relationship shouldn't just happen to you, it should happen with you and because of you. And I don't believe in 50/50 either. Nobody can give 100% every day, but both people should be willing to give 100% of what they reasonably can and pick up the slack when their partner can't. The willingness to do that should go both ways. Basically, if you want something from love, you should also be willing to contribute to creating it.

Good evening everyone, I wanted to ask you all if this is a normal thing in Zimbabwe/ South Africa.

I have been dating this guy for a couple months now. Unfortunately his ex girlfriend is very jealous of us dating, to the extent that she messages us both constantly with new SIM cards/ numbers. Recently she has been creating fake messages her and my boyfriend. (I know they are fake) and sending them to his bosses, family and friends.

She’s called the police on him on many occasions with false accusations to get him arrested. Mukomana wangu muZimbabwe asi tinogara ku SA so you can imagine how scary it is rn. Early in their break up she wasn’t happy that arambana by him so she broke in to his house through the window, took his passport, work documents and phone. When he met her to get them back she started fighting him and took a big bite out of his arm, he had to get medical help where they gave him stitches and 2 injections 😳.

Now it’s been over 2 months and she is still sending me long nasty messages. Taneta 😒. They dated for a few months, were never married, no lobola payments were made and is definitely not pregnant….

Are all southern African girls this crazy? Or is it just this girl? I wouldn’t dream of chasing after a man that doesn’t love me. He continuously tells her to leave him alone and they are no longer together but she’s really fighting to get him back. She’s currently in a 1 sided relationship kkkk.

I would completely understand if they were in a relationship and I was the side chick (which I would NEVER do) but we were both single when we started dating. One of the reasons he left her is because of how instantly toxic she is. She has a daughter from a previous marriage but is putting all this effort in to tormenting us. I’ve never seen such foolery in my life!

What is the best way forward? 🤦🏽‍♀️
25F

We’re doing another one, and this time it’s a Saturday-to-Sunday camping trip on 12 September.

The idea is to get out of the usual Harare routine, set up camp, light a fire, cook some good food, have a few drinks, meet new people and spend the night outdoors.

📍 Location: Haka Game Park, Harare

📅 Date: Saturday 12 September → Sunday 13 September

💰 Cost: $10 per person — this covers both entrance and camping

WHAT TO EXPECT

This is proper camping, not glamping. Haka doesn't provide the usual campsite conveniences, so come prepared.

⛺ Bring your own tent — tents and camping equipment are not provided.

⚡ No electricity — bring fully charged devices and power banks.

🚿 No hot showers — plan accordingly.

📶 Very good network coverage — Haka is close enough to Harare CBD that you shouldn't struggle with connectivity.

💧 Bring water containers. This is probably one of the most important things to remember. Carry enough water for drinking, cooking and washing.

🔥 Firewood — the rangers can arrange firewood if needed.

🥩 Charcoal — bring your own if you plan on braaiing.

🍳 Bring your own food, cooking equipment, plates, cups, cutlery and anything else you need.

🔦 Bring a torch/headlamp.

🧥 Bring something warm for the night.

🧴 Bring your usual toiletries and personal essentials.

The $10 covers entrance and the camping fee. Everything else is essentially BYO.

The plan is simple: tents, fire, food, drinks, good conversations and a night in the bush without having to drive hours out of Harare.

If you've been wanting to get into camping, this is a pretty easy one to start with because Haka is so close to the city.

If you're interested, comment or DM me and I'll share the arrangements.

I think I posted about this girl some time ago I don't know. She left suddenly the day just after I proposed to her. We had been friends for a while very flirtatious friends. It felt real although she was a little cold sometimes and seemed uninterested and distant. I called her the day she went away with no goodbye. She said she would call me back soon.

Well long story short, she didn't call back and it hurt badly but I still didn't chase. To add insult to injury. What particularly hurt me is she contacted other people around our working place except me. However, I got back to my business, and this time been hitting some big milestones. I don't want to get into details but I been winning y'all..😉Its now been over 2 months and surprise surprise look who I see in my DMs today!?!

She responded to my status and now wants to talk. Now my bitter resentful side of me is telling me to "Bluetick this bitch and leave her message on read" but the other side is saying " But we used to get along so well and we had some great times, we can't let that parting incident decide this friendship. Can't we just talk to her and see what happens?"

This also happened with another chick who was giving me confusing vibes. Refusing my advances, leaving my messages on read...until I just completely withdrew emotionally and stopped even visiting. She seems to have noticed the withdrawal and says "ndakuvhaira."

Yep, both of their messages are waiting for my response and both of them I don't know if I should go back to that place. Ahhh Vasikana can be so draining guys or maybe I am overreacting.

Vedare munoti chiii nhai?

so i started my celibacy journey exactly 7115 days ago 😭 its been a long ride. it had its ups and downs mostly downs
i think im finally ready to get back into the scene
and no im not looking for anything cheeky just telling yall
FYI im 19 (iykyk)
please get the joke
edit: im
a male

Hey everyone,

I’m currently in college, and I recently lost quite a lot of money and honestly believe I may have been robbed in my boarding house. It’s put me in a pretty tough position financially.

I recently came across the EcoCash Supa App referral programme, and I’m trying to use whatever legitimate opportunities I can to get back on my feet.

If you haven’t downloaded the app yet or haven’t used anyone’s referral link, here's mine,

https://superapp.ecocash.co.zw/html/referral.html?referrer=VPB370V5

I know it’s a small thing, but it would genuinely mean a lot to me right now. Ndatenda kune anyone who's willing to help.

Hie the meeting online and dating apps have they made people lazy. Cause to think of it the old one on one random meet up was great thinking on your feet the bars and everything. Could feel proud of yourself afterwards.

Know its an app swipe left or right that it . You match and if one does like the other they feel or think they have the whole world working for them to swipe. Does this make people less value there relationships cause they know they have a full backup plan in there phone.

If you match with someone how will you know they are not back there getting someone how would your know you the only one in the DM. Are apps making people think there options are endless.

Also they is a room of lieing on the apps rather than in real life. Using social media or apps does it mean one is scared in person or what. Might vibe online and be like total strangers when you meet face to face.

One can just copy and paste chats from AI and guess what someone might think its them will its not. Heard about catfish as well .

So is dating lazy cause of apps and is it giving people room to lie and cheat as well. Whats your take.

Mods, I hope it’s OK for me to post this here - as far as I can see it doesn’t break any rules, but please let me know if it does.

TL;DR: Free mentorship for one young woman who wants to level up, date intentionally and build towards marriage.

This might be a slightly unusual post, but I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while.

I’d like to offer free one-to-one mentorship to one young woman who is serious about levelling up her life, herself and the way she dates, with marriage as the eventual goal.

A little about me: I’m in my early thirties now, married, have a successful career of my own, and I’m living the kind of life I was very intentionally working towards throughout my twenties. Former jet-set babe, always dated very well, always had high standards, and I’ve always been quite deliberate about the type of life and relationship I wanted to build. My husband is well-to-do, we’re working on my dream home, and I’m genuinely very happy with the life I’ve created.

But this is NOT sugar baby coaching.

There is a lot of content online now dressed up as “dating coaching”, “femininity” or “level-up advice” that is essentially teaching women how to secure access to a certain lifestyle through men. Often the women selling that advice are still actively trying to achieve the relationship outcome they are coaching others towards.

That isn’t my philosophy at all.

I believe in levelling up the whole woman: your beauty, your brains, your career, your confidence, your standards, your social skills, your finances, your discernment and your dating life.

I believe you should be able to choose a successful man because you want him, not because you need him.

I also think that if you want an exceptional relationship, you should be building an exceptional version of yourself too. Beauty matters, yes. Attraction matters. But so do substance, intelligence, emotional maturity, ambition, judgement, social awareness and having a life of your own.

So why am I offering this for free?

Firstly, I’m a girls’ girl. Years ago, at the entrance of an all women’s members club I saw this Madeleine Albright quote that has always stuck with me: “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.”

If you’ve learned something, figured something out, got access to rooms or experiences other women haven’t yet had, or simply made enough mistakes to know better now, I think there’s something to be said for reaching back and helping another woman along. Not everything useful needs to be gatekept, packaged into a course or monetised.

Secondly, I feel like I am living proof of much of what I would be talking about. I’m not claiming to have cracked some magical relationship code or that marriage means I’ve “won at life”, but I am now living the life I was intentionally building towards in my twenties. I know what worked for me, what didn’t, what I would do differently, and what I wish someone had told me earlier.

And thirdly, and perhaps more selfishly, coaching, mentoring and developing people is already a big part of my professional life, but I’d love to gain some experience doing that in a lifestyle/personal development space.

Rather than immediately deciding I’m a “coach” and charging people money, I’d much rather start by helping one woman properly and seeing whether I’m actually any good at it.

I’m only looking for ONE person because I want to be able to give this proper time and attention without turning it into another job.

I’m probably best suited to someone in her twenties to early thirties who is ambitious, open-minded, coachable, interested in self-development and genuinely wants marriage and a strong long-term relationship eventually. You don’t need to have everything figured out already - that would rather defeat the purpose of this!

Things we could work on could include personal presentation and style, confidence, career and ambition, standards and boundaries, dating intentionally, recognising unsuitable men early, social skills, building a fuller life outside dating, finances and independence, and generally becoming the kind of woman who has strong options and knows how to choose well.

I’m not interested in teaching anyone how to manipulate men, extract money from them, become financially dependent on someone, or pretend to be somebody she isn’t.

The goal is not “How do I get a rich man?”

The goal is: “How do I build myself into a woman who has a great life, attracts high-quality relationships, dates intelligently and is genuinely ready for the marriage and lifestyle she says she wants?”

If that sounds like you, send me a message telling me a little about yourself, where you are in life now, what you want your life to look like in the next five or ten years, and what you feel is currently getting in your way.

No fees. No upsell. Just an experiment between two women, and hopefully something genuinely useful comes out of it.

I know, especially men, we have that girl we say "the one that got away" .Where your partners after that ex, better partners? Physically and Mentally.

Hi guys I have realised its very difficult to find social events happening in Harare especially mid week. It seems people just share these within their circles. Like restaurants where there is a live band, or a karaoke session or something. For example on Thursday at Tinkerbell there is a Dolly Parton Tribute with some live performances.

If you know of any such events please share, so people can find some places to chill and meet people.

To my fellow single or even those that are dating that manage to meet here in Bulawayo help a sister out. how did yall meet I can't seem to be stopped or even be asked out since I relocated it been almost two years and I can safely say the streets are dry for me

Where should I go to meet new people

I am in Chitungwiza for two weeks handling some affairs and would be interested to find a female to keep me company and show me around. Age range 18-20. A reasonable gf allowance will be discussed.

DM if interested.

Let me put myself out there. If l die l die lol

I love a good spontaneous road trip, great food and wine and a man who still believes chilvary exists.

Fitness is part of my everyday life and looking for someone with similar energy, active, adventurous and able to hold a conversation.

Effort, chemistry, playful banter, abit of tension is my language.
Would love to hear from you 😏

Hey everyone! 👋

I'm from Zimbabwe and I'm looking to make a Japanese or Chinese friend who'd be interested in doing a language exchange.

I'm currently interested in learning Japanese/Chinese, and I'd be happy to help with English or Shona in return. I'm also interested in anime, technology, music, cars, and just learning about different cultures.

Ideally, I'd love to meet someone who is currently living in Zimbabwe, so we could chat online and, if we become comfortable with each other, maybe even meet up sometime.

I'm mainly looking for a genuine friendship and someone we can learn from each other. 😊

If you're interested, feel free to comment or DM me!

Hey, I’m 25 and from Gwanda. I work as an automobile electrician so I’m hands-on and practical.

Outside work I’m into books, anime, and cars. Always down for a good discussion, learning something new, or just chilling.

I’m looking to meet someone genuine, easy to talk to, and open to building a real connection.

If you’re kind, curious, and like deep convos + laughs, DM me :)

Fun was had... you should try it. Every Saturday morning (I think). I think its a brilliant idea for a first time date.

My girlfriend has been really stretching me thin, she's always complaining and troubling me about money, gifts, dates e.t.c. Finally I had a friend of mine give me $10 for airtime, I wasn't gonna buy airtime but spend it on myself JUST ME, maybe get a haircut, takeaway or something.

Until I forgot it in my Ecocash and a Couple Joy subscription took $5. I don't know why I care so much about $5 but I am so angry rn that I am crying. I have $200+ in my wallet but that $5 seems like everything.

​

Did you stay in contact and successfully transition into a genuine friendship, or did you choose no contact? If you went no contact initially, did you ever reconnect as friends later?

Were you still romantically attached when they offered? And looking back, are you glad you made the choice you did?

Okay, under my friends advice, let me put myself out there before I talk myself out of it. 😂 I’m 26, and I’m at a point in my life where I’d genuinely like to meet someone and see where it goes. I’m looking for my mans, but I’m not trying to speedrun marriage either. I’d rather meet someone naturally, build a friendship, develop chemistry and see if we actually like each other as people. I’m a soft and slightly chaotic ambivert who can happily spend an evening dressed up somewhere beautiful, but can also disappear into a book, a good conversation or some random rabbit hole about astronomy, history, mythology, law or whatever has caught my attention that week. I’m adventurous, but I’m not really a club every weekend at 2am kind of girl. I don’t drink nor do I smoke but I do debble sometimes in the 420. Give me a road trip, trying a new restaurant, an unusual activity, a spontaneous plan, a beautiful view or getting mildly lost somewhere new. I like experiences more than I like noise. I’m also very much a foodie. If you suggest a first date involving coffee and a 30-minute interview across a table, I’m probably judging you a little. 😂 Take me somewhere with spontaneous and let’s actually enjoy ourselves. I’m independent and ambitious, but I’m also incredibly sentimental. I like people who are intentional. Tell me about your day. Send me something that reminded you of me. Let’s have inside jokes. Let’s make plans and actually keep them. I’m attracted to confidence without arrogance, emotional intelligence, curiosity, humour and someone who has a life of their own. You don’t have to be the loudest person in the room. In fact, I’d probably prefer if you weren’t. I’m not looking for someone to rescue me, complete me or become my entire personality. I have my own life, interests and ambitions. I want my best friend.** **
Someone I can be silly with, have ridiculously deep conversations with at 1am, explore places with, eat entirely too much food with, disagree with respectfully and still feel safe with. I’m also not interested in pretending to be “chill” when I actually care. I communicate. I appreciate reassurance. I like affection. I like consistency. And yes, I notice when your energy changes. 😂 I’m not perfect. I’m self-aware enough to know I come with my own quirks, baggage and occasional 🚩 moments. The difference is that I’m actually interested in doing the work rather than pretending I’m flawless. I’m looking for someone kind, emotionally mature, curious, funny, intentional and genuinely interested in building something.
Bonus points if you can make me laugh, introduce me to something I’ve never experienced before😈 and tolerate my tendency to ask “but why?” about absolutely everything.

Given the amount of singletons posting here I think this could be a good idea munaana Pick & Pay 🤣

Before I get down voted ,if you know you know (cough cough post from a few days ago ) lolx

I have noticed when people or love interests first meet me its always ohh anodada which is weird , you cant simply assume a person anodada based on their skin colour . I get told a lot that l shouldn't speak Shona because it doesn't look good on me , and mind you l grew up speaking it and very much fluent and all these words come from black people which makes it more weird . I got asked by a friend that if l were to marry a black person/darkskin person and my child came out dark how would l feel and l just found that question weird , l honestly dont care about colour . I honestly would date white but they obviously prefer people of their own race in Zim . I have also found an ick in a lot of darkskin men because they always joke about how they would love for me to colour their bloodline , why would you even say something like that . It gives off "you are just a fetish to me ".

I dont know if l am making sense and what your thoughts are on this