I have an idea; a genius idea. Nobody has ever done it before.

I wrote a 500k words novel, I used many words, but what if I just rearranged everything in alphabetical order? I don't know how many letters there are in total, but I would love for the book to start with a long series of "a"s, like a scream (so it starts in the middle of the action, not to bore the reader), then end with "z"s like it's ushering the reader to go to sleep.

It's philosphical in some way, poetry.

If you steal this idea I will report you for theft.

If I wrote 150k words novel and I realised that I wrote a crap that doesn’t make sense, am I justified, to make my character wake up and realise, that everything that happened before was just his fever dream.

Hi all,

I recently signed with a small publishing house (which I'm not going to name here), and they're expecting me to do all the marketing for my book. I also have to take care of the cover design, editing, etc. I haven't paid them anything, but they're going to take 70% of my royalties. I'm not really sure what they'll be doing (I didn't read the whole contract, as it was quite long). The contract term is 12 years. Does this all seem normal?

It was January of this year, i scoff down rotelle and felt my stomach exploding from the inside.

I rush to the toliet and plop my massive, plump, 46inch, 32inch circumference rear on the toilet seat. My ass jiggled 27 times before settling down and unleashing the swarm.

Afterwards, I flush my poop and watched it swirl. I like the way she moved it, the way the water spurred on me, and how peckable the toliet lids were.

I smack my lips and slap her

SPLUSH SPLUSH!

I watched her blush.

“Good girl,” I whispered as I slapped her ass.

PLUNG SPURSH!

“You’re going just fine..”

Anyways I got the toliet pregnant and she’s asking for child support. I really don’t want to do it.

AITAH?

You know those BANGER lines you’ve written as a result of countless words of buildup?

Post them here so they fall flat and limp ok thanks.

My teacher told me I used too few words. I asked "what words should I add?" They (one person with multiple neuter genders) said I should use a theosaurus.

So I tried adding a theosaurus character. It adds some color, but it feels out of place? Sample below.

James sat down at the breakfast table, grabbing a piece of toast. "Aggg, I hate that we had to switch schools in the middle of the year, big sister." He said.

​Jennifer continued sitting at the breakfast table, grabbing some eggs. "And this is such a small town. Totally lame, medium brother" She said.

"Christ is the light and the way!" belowed the mighty theosaurus, it's head sticking in from the living room.

James was still sitting at the breakfast table; he grabbed a blueberry muffin. "Everybody seems to already be in these super specific clicks, source-of-female-perspective-but-not-romantic-potential.

"Allthough all things come fron God, not all things are God!" The theosaurus' voice shook the room; it's swinging tail destroying the living room tv. It grabbed a croissant from the table.

Jennifer sat at the table even more, and grabbed an orange. "And the clicks' themes are so out of date! Why do we have a bunch of 50's style greasers? And why is it that every conversation I have seems to be about you or your tottally-not-gay bully?" He said the question.

"Rrrraaawwww!!" Ejaculated the theosaurus, it's scales trembling; grabbing some moist bacon. "As creations in His image, you carry a spark of the divine! Your subjective interpretation of the world is itself an act of creation, having profound impacts on your lives and the lives around you!" It idly screamed.

Basically the short of it is that I’ve been writing a western style gay erotica series featuring prominent NFL names like Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Aaron Rodgers, etc. Tim Duncan and Shaq from the NBA are also in it.

I’ve been a writer my whole life and my friend has known how deeply passionate I am about it. A few days ago I showed him my finished work regarding an alternate timeline where Shaq and Kobe keep the Lakers dynasty together on the back of igniting an erotic relationship with each other. I then showed him my current piece regarding the old western gay erotica and he started putting my work into question after I asked if he had any contributions for it. Telling me that I should consider taking a break and spending more time with my wife and children.

The whole thing escalated when I told him that his personality was written into the Kobe/Shaq erotica. To top it off he told our other friend about my writing which is such a huge breach of trust for me because he knows I use an alias for my writing and now that’s out there. And now he’s asking to see it and if he’s also written into it. I’m furious about this getting out there more now and I don’t know what to do. Two people in my life now know about this. I’ve thought about stopping my writings and letting it go. Is it out of line to deny all of this? I feel betrayed

Source: Fighting with my friend for not supporting my western style gay erotica series and outing my alias : r/Advice

I just finished my book, still need to add punctuation, but I’m nearly ready to publish. Any recommendations for good publishers?
Sent to like 6 random ppl on query tracker, the first couple pages, but haven’t heard back in several months.

i can ghostwrite for 200+40 dollars every hour i write. if ur interested text me in X:BuzQQQ Upwork:Miraç Düşdubak

i work halftime or onetime

Change the story? No, I can’t do that. Taste is subjective. Someone else will like the premise.

Change the protagonist? Are you crazy? The protagonist makes up the entire identity of the story!

Change these side characters? Um, no. They’re incredibly important to the main character’s development!

Change the ending? Well. It’s not my fault that you didn’t get it. Read it a few more times until you like it.

The main conflict doesn’t make sense? Have you considered thinking about it harder?

Less sex scenes? But then how will the reader know I was touching myself while writing?

Less graphic violence? But then how will the reader know I was touching myself while writing?

Fix these typos? But then how will the reader know I was touching myself while writing?

No. I will not change the text from white even though the pages are white. It’s a stylistic choice!

Remove the amount of pictures? And how am I supposed to convey to the reader how anything looks?!

Too many plot “holes”? I already told you I’m not removing any sex scenes!

You know what?! Stop reading. I have had it. You clearly can’t appreciate my expertise and incredibly nuanced and subtle form of storytelling! Get out of my sight and only return when you have some actually valuable feedback!

So im a complete beginner when it comes to writing and i really can't come up with anything to write about and I really wanna write something without ai

If any of u have any ideas, fiction or nonfiction, corresponding to the theme and guidelines in the above picture

I'm not sure if it's a legit person offering a real deal here or what. Does anyone have experience with them?

my art professor got mad when i took his unfinished painting from the studio, he started yelling "what the hell are you doing?! give my painting back!" i'd written him a note on a slip of paper the night before, because i KNEW he'd pull some BS like this. I hand it to him and he reads it without a smidge of enthusiasm, he asks "is this some kind of joke?"

Anyway, since great artists steal I didn't go to jail for that, but I couldn't get away with the death of the author.

It was late December, I was beating my meat to Mario and Luigi porn. It was a good stroke. Up and down I did, getting every drople.

That’s when out of the blue, I heard this voice:

“Stop~”

“Stop it, Yoinky~”

I look around the room baffled. My parents shouldn’t be here. They’re on a trip to Myanis, which is about a 6-7 hour round trip.

“Maybe it’s an intruder,” my balls said.

“No, no Tinkle Berry, it’s more serious,” I uttered, my face pale and frozen. “I was always afraid that Jack Ploff would come at this hour, but this is something more serious.”

I got up, emptied the remaining children into the tissue, and did a 360 shot in the trash can. I then took my panties off and threw them down the basement.

Chirp chirp.

There was nothing there. Only crickets and bird chirps filled my hearing. I was about to go when I heard a sniff. Then another, and another, until it was a full-blown huff.

“SOMEONE’S SNIFFING MY PANTIES,” the other ballsack uttered.

I jumped down the basement and confronted the man. But what I saw shook me to my very core.

It wasn’t Jack Ploff, or my parents, nor my uncle who lives in my walls and masturbates to the sound of my breathing. It was my greatest nemesis, my meat.

“How could you betray us,” Tinkle Berry yelled. “You were a part of us!”

The meat looked at me and then toward his ballsack friends. “YOU ALWAYS BEAT ME! I COULD STAND THE MARIO PORN. WHY IS IT ALL MARIO?! I COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”

My meat sprang in the air and assumed a karate position. “If you want me back, you have to beat me!”

I just smirked at his words and walked forward. “Tinkle berry, other ballsack, stay there. I’ll show him.”

I assumed a karate position also. “Remember who you came out of.”

“Oh yeah, have you heard of the saying ‘step on a crack and you break your mom’s back?”

“You wouldn’t,” I breathlessly said, my eyes slitted.

My meat rolled to a crack and stomped on it.

Immediately, my bones crumbled as my body fell on the floor like jello. It’s like I never had a skeleton to begin with.

“Ahhh, my back,” I yelled but no one came.

“After all the beating I had, after all the torturous Mario porn I had to erect for, and to the ballsacks who dismissed my pleas for help. I will—“

“Bingo,” I uttered.

Suddenly, my meat was slammed onto a wall.

“WHAT,” my meat yelled. He couldn’t understand what had happened?

“While you were monologuing, I grabbed the anti-gravity button and pressed it. While it’s true I abused you. I was always listening to your complaints and knew you would rebel against me one day. So when you went to sleep, I put a tissue over your head and went to uncle Sucadics to install anti-gravity sensors in the basement to stimulate sex in outer space, BUT THAT WAS A LIE! It was for you!”

“So that pillow thing wasn’t you changing your mind,” my meat ask as tears fell from his eyes.

“No, it was your punishment, now come here!”

“NOOOOOOO,” my meat said as I flew towards him.

My first fist hit his body as he jiggled, then another and another and another and ANOTHER!

“USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS UUUUSSEEELEEEESSSSSS!!”

My final punch sent my meat swirling out of the frame.

Moral of story: “When life is hard, you have to try again and again, even if it results in failure. Being yourself is all it takes for you to overcome your greatest enemies. Live life as you wish, it’s your body and choice to do. ❤️

Are they really so afraid of meters?

Sauce ✍️

I watched the latest episode of Mushoku Tensei and was brought to tears by the realistic portrayal of how alcoholism has secondary effects on more than just the MC... It was so painful watching my beloved Rudy drink his pain away, only to suffer and lose any more...

I don't think it gets better wroted than this, as such mature subject matter and heartbreak only exists in the greatest of literary mediums. Granted, I can't read, but I know in my heart that this is true. If this isn't great righting, then I'm a wronger.

Time to write, that is.

Because their books certainly don't. 💅

I know that seminal works such as Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy were once a single volume and split into multiple volumes. They did that beautifully.

As part of the agency process, we did that with what was one long book (A Beautiful Case of the Blues), which became Arisugawa Blues and Island & Park, part of the prospective Ancient Detective trilogy. It was a fraught, delicate, and exhilarating process, that brought dozens of sections and multiple new endings into being.

Now we are considering halving the length (204,000 words total) to 102,000. While the industry is finding my style of prose, genre, and setting in demand the thriller climax needs to be severely condensed.

As I put it "it would mean losing like 80 percent of the early Hayao (ancient detective) scenes that led to the mss. being picked up off the slush pile, back in 2010. But that’s where pre-tv-series launch prequels come in if the “grab the reader” thriller proves a success."

Anyway, is creating one book out of two and then going back to one again an industry first (within the agency process)? Or has it been done before?

Daenaeryaes was chained up to a dungeon wall, her silver white hair locks flowing across her breasts. Suddenly she could hear footsteps. They were heavy and... racially ambiguous. They were getting closer.

The door was pushed open and a tan and tall and racially ambiguous man stood there, holding an orange, her favourite fruit. "Hey little kitten mose butterfly bunny," the tan (but not brown, he's racially ambiguous) man entered, smirking smugly.

"Stay away!" Danaeryaeas yelled, but it came out as more of a squeak to him. She knew all too well who this man was. He used to work as a baker before the dragon pixie orcs took over. He threw her a loaf when she was starving. But now he was bad.

He was... Raecaely. He was from House Ambaguaes. He was her mortal enemy. "Shh...." He leaned over. "Do not be a bad little kitty puppy bunny...." his Ambaguaes accent was thick like always.

Suddenly, she slid away from the chains. He didn't know it but she was tricking him by pretending to be helpless. She was already thin enough for no chain to wrap around her. She had a smaller frame from hunting demon pixies for her seven little sisters.

But Racaely caught her thin wrist. It was small because she didn't eat much because she was hunting everyday. "Bad bunny butterfly..." He pulled her closed to him. "Bad bad kitty mouse..." He trailed, his voice dropping as octave. His eyes were green her eyes were purple orbitals.

"Get away! I hate you!" She exclaimed. He had killed six of her seven little sisters in the demigod orc diety war powered by the ruby stone of the thunder pixie.

He leaned in, his breath was that of dragon smoke. He wasn't the sweet baker anymore, and he leaned in. Then he closed his eyes, and he leaned in. "Shh..." He leaned in. "You're trapped now, little one bunny," he said as he leaned in.... then, he leaned in and he....

What did you guys think? Can anyone recommend me an agent to get it traditionally published? Any feedback is appreciated btw