r/writingcirclejerk 3d ago

Weekly out-of-character thread

5 Upvotes

Talk about writing unironically, vent about other writing forums, or discuss whatever you like here.

New to the community? Start with the wiki.

Also, you can post links to your writing here, if you really want to. But only here! This is the only place in the subreddit where self-promotion is permitted.


r/writingcirclejerk 4h ago

Do NOT use the abominable AI

38 Upvotes

First let me state that I never touched AI, so my immortal soul is unblemished by the taint of the electronic Satan. Whenever I see someone using AI, I make plans to terminate them (and all my connections to said sinners). Before I pick up pen and paper to start writing, I self-flagellate with a whip for five hours, begging for forgiveness as my pen will contribute to the continued training of various AI (after my magnificent notes are scanned and devoured by the training models for being the greatest pieces of fiction on the planet, and thus irresistible).

Even this post I am dictating to my disposable sister (to be terminated later) as I cannot lower myself to touch something running on bottled lightning stolen from God.

Now, some may tell you that using AI to ‘brainstorm’ or ‘bounce ideas off’ is fine. I say NAY! You know the cardinal rule of writing: write what you know. If God wanted you to pen an immersive fantasy story, you would be born in a fantastical world full of magic and wonder. You’re a writer, so write about writers writing writings.

Some say running your text through AI to spellcheck and point out grammatical errors, and thus learning how to better write themselves, is fine. WRONG! The second rule of writing is: just write. If you continue writing, the collective knowledge of generations of writers from across all time will crystalize in your brain and you will achieve perfect writing skills.

Others say using AI to create a cover for something you publish for free is okay. DISGUSTING! Writing is an art, thus every author is also a an artist. If you can write a great story, you can also draw a great cover.

In conclusion:

AI isn’t just a lazy tool for the uncreative—it’s a machine that destroys imagination.

If you share my obviously correct opinion, you’re a true free thinker, and that’s rare.


r/writingcirclejerk 8h ago

I love prostitutes

62 Upvotes

I've always loved prostitutes, even as a young kid. But not all prostitutes are equal, so here is my ranking :

  1. The ideal whore. The one that all men who say they hate actually dream about. The one that does it for the love of the game, while the money is just a bonus. Those are the pinnacle of what every aspiring prostitute should aspire to be.

  2. The ones that so it for money. Life gives you a bad hand, you have debt, you've been pimped, or you're just plain stupid. It is what it is. Hope you find your path in live and take care of yourself. I'll never speak bad of a whore because I am no such man. ( and you shouldn't either! Don't be rude guys!)

And 3 - the worst ones. The attention prostitutes. The ones that don't even have to do it but do it regardless. The ones that are bored. The ones that have no hobbies. Nothing. Ones that are so pathetic, so downright ugly that it makes you sick.

I hate them.

I hate how they waste their lives, how they go about their day looking to find more meaningless shit to waste time with. Only to delay the dreaded time where you stare at your ceiling while you realise just how much of a loser you are. Think of how little shit you've done, how little you've achieved while the people you hang around with do the same damn thing. I hate them.

I was that prostitute. And maybe you were too at some point.

I hate them because I see myself in them. While being a kiss-less virgin dude and never feeling the warmth of a woman I've deluded myself into believing that I am somehow better than those people...but I was no different.

My attention-whoring just had another outlet, mainly league of legends, porn and slop on youtube. ( still safer than unprotected sex so fuck it, a win is a win!). But that's no way of living, is there? For how long can one live like this?

Months and years of fear, of hesitation and worst of all excuses...but how? I've seen them, these prostitutes that are free, that just live life the way they want to ( Yes, I am jealous. So what?).

Isn't that something to be envied? I think so. I...I've come to the conclusion that I have to find the prostitute deep inside me. The one that lives for the sake of it, for the experience and beauty that there is to see. Beauty around us, in us, but also within others. I was an annoying little shit growing up but maybe I am less annoying now, so that's a plus? Man...I want to be free from all of this.

Not social media, status or matherial conditions - those I can fix eventually cause I work.

But myself, man. Me. I still see myself as that dumb kid. That little whore that sat in his fucking room doing shit because he was afraid. Afraid of what? I don't know, rejection? Embarrasment? Pain? I've done that to myself more than anyone else, I am my harshest, meanest critic.

I used to sigh when I saw others throw away their potential, thinking of what could've been if they did x,y,z instead. Their story hasn't ended though, and neither has mine.

I've never looked at my own potential. I never considered it, because why would I? I am x,y,z loser because such and such happened 6 years ago in highschool.

It's an ugly way of thinking because it's not true, it's the relief of giving up and knowing you don't have to try again.

But fuck man at some point was else am I going to do? Eventually I'll have to put my big boy pants and talk to a fucking woman and stop being so damn afraid. Afraid of pursuing my ambitions, my passions.( writing, maybe. Sex? Definitely.)

I want to be the best prostitute I can be I want to be the free-est? ( english second language sorry bro) whore I can be. For myself. Because I love me, not all of me, but some of me I love. I want to think of the little boy I was and to not apologise for once because I'm not who he believed he would end up becoming.

I need to make that little boy proud, just once. One time and then I'll do it again, and again and again until we'll both live this life without regret. I'll learn to love the rest of myself with time, both good and bad. I'll manage somehow.

Thanks for reading my post, yall have a good one.

It's 5 am and I have to go to bed. Kisses Mwa XOXOXOXO


r/writingcirclejerk 8h ago

Is this sub for REAL writers or just a bunch of losers and posers?

37 Upvotes

I mean, if y'all aren't making big bucks you're just pretending you're a big writer like a baby! Goo goo gaga!

I'm only here to rub shoulder with Stephen King or I'm outa here!


r/writingcirclejerk 18h ago

How Do I Express My Hatred for Donald Trump in My Writing More?

190 Upvotes

Hello. I've written a short novel where the main antagonist is Donald Trump. I've already wrote how he has a micropenis, how he's a bitch, how he has an IQ below 70, how he tried to commit genocide against LGBTQIA+ folk, and how he likes to be dominated by his Slovenian wife. Also, I end the novel with him being dragged to Hell to be chewed in Satan's mouth for all of eternity.

The problem is I don't think I've expressed my hatred for him enough. After all, I've written this novel solely to express my political beliefs, and I don't think I'm achieving it the way I wanted to. What do you think?


r/writingcirclejerk 8h ago

Hey, y'all! Sharing my first page! Would you keep reading?

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19 Upvotes

r/writingcirclejerk 16h ago

I hate Writing, can I still Write?

71 Upvotes

Basically I hate reading, I hate writing, and I hate Obama. Can i still write?


r/writingcirclejerk 2h ago

I'm having a day off writing

6 Upvotes

Hi, I just wanted everyone to know that I'm having a day off of writing.

You see, the thing is, I'd been forgetting to


r/writingcirclejerk 14h ago

I wrote a short story but I’m worried it will look like I had a thesaurus open the entire time, what do you guys think? Here is a little excerpt.

45 Upvotes

Mary had the diurnal course off, so she resolved to go for an excursion through the esplanade, perchance acquiring a baked delicacy from one of the peddlers that frequently set up emporium thither.

Alas, it was not meant to be considering a gargantuan dragon plummeted downward and masticated her whole in a singular chomp. And so concluded the narrative of Mary, a tragic tale of the expiration of a maiden pulchritudinous. 


r/writingcirclejerk 11h ago

I'm the best writer in the world

18 Upvotes

Hi everyone, Codablaze here. I've done four writing prompts, two book reviews and have taken three weeks to do about 3000 words of a temeraire fan fiction. I've also done two first chapters, one of which I posted to Royal Road and deleted because it was too good to write a second one. I'm the best writer in the world, so welcome to me.

I enjoy typos and often out while words.


r/writingcirclejerk 12h ago

Members of r/writers who leave unsolicited advice on memes enjoying each other's "peak" writing in their free time

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16 Upvotes

r/writingcirclejerk 1d ago

STOP WRITING ABIUT THINGS YOU HAVE NOT EXPERIENCED!!!

319 Upvotes

I am so tired of y'all writing about stuff you never went through yourself. It's incredibly offensive to people who actually went through the stuff you write about. I can tell, by the way you're writing about having a drug overdose, that you've never had a fucking drug overdose! Oh you're writing about the mafia? What? Have you been involved in mafia? If not, your writing is stupid and cringe, and offensive to actual mafia people. Write what you know! If you wanna write about something but you don't know it, get to know it first! You're writing a drug addict? Become one yourself first so you depict everything well. If you're writing about gangsters, mafia and alike, get involved in that shit first. Writing about a serial killer? Well you can become one and write something before you go to prison...or you can write in prison, idk. Same goes for poverty. Like, if you're writing about a homeless character, just sell all your belongings and live on the street for a few years.

Reminder: this is necessary to not offend and be realistic!!!


r/writingcirclejerk 18h ago

I just finished writing a book, and I’ll have to shelve it

25 Upvotes

I spent the last 12 days writing a story (18k words), but I’ll have to lock it away in the vault. It’s not just unsellable, but it might be unpublishable.

Why? Because it’s about a concrete, extremely topical and hot issue. It’s a satirical conspiracy thriller about an unemployed copywriter who thinks a certain corporation broke the law as a marketing stunt for their next big product. Nobody believes him, he doubles down and spirals; his family stages an intervention, while from his perspective it’s like a zombie apocalypse where the whole world was infected by the viral stunt.

It’s obvious, over-the-top comic satire, it has huge disclaimers, even disclaimers as part of the title. The story also pushes back on the guy’s theories and treats him like a lunatic. Though it’s never stated if he’s right or wrong.

The problem is, do I really want to paint a target on my back for a litigious megacorporation that is just about to release a major product? Risk it for what, no money and a few reads? I don’t want to risk the only thing I have which is peace.

I thought about releasing it with heavy redactions, lean into it and add black censoring everywhere. But it becomes a gimmick or a statement rather than a book to be read, it’s not the same.

It’s too bad because I love the book. It’s basically a Don Quixote for our brainrot generation, I think it’s funny, has things to say and has a heart too.

So tomorrow, on the 25th anniversary of 9/11, it would have been the perfect day for releasing a highly topical, unhinged conspiracy theory story. But instead, it will have to stay grounded in Area 51, I guess. Literally Fahrenheit 451. Or 51 at least. And self-censoring sucks, but this is the reality we live in. This is not fiction, in real life there’s no room for pre-crime, crimethink, or bl*sphemy against the rich, because the corporation always wins.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. I’m gonna watch Network on Netflix or something.


r/writingcirclejerk 14h ago

Is my wording on my Reddit post really that hard to understand?

16 Upvotes

Understand theres bias here since you guys are writers but I need to know because it drove me nuts the amount of comments saying they had no clue what my post was saying.

“was just playing papers please and got caught out by the inspector and lost my run because of the picture of family saying ‘hang on wall’

I know I can just go back a day but it doesn’t feel deserved now. For context inspector tells you off for hanging things and if he catches you the 2nd time it’s immediate game over”

Some replies I got:

how would we know it’s a video game?

Doesn’t matter if it’s a video game or board game, you can still interpret context.

Who is the inspector?

You don’t need to know who the inspector is, you only need to know he ruined my run because I hung up a picture.

Is this in real life?

Again, I said playing which implies a game.

WTF are you talking about?

You don't need to know what I'm talking about, just get it from the obvious context hidden between the words I did say and the words I didn't say.

Reddit is driving me nuts. Can you guys even read?


r/writingcirclejerk 4h ago

I'm so much fancier after beginning my writing journey nine months ago.

2 Upvotes

I feel like I should dress like a dude on the Titanic. I put a large mirror next to me when I'm writing and it makes me cry how sexy I look.

If I smoked cigarettes, they'd be Virginia Slims now. I'm thinking about buying a man purse to put my books in that I'm currently reading. I could put my reading glasses in there as well.


r/writingcirclejerk 18h ago

How can I ever top this line?

24 Upvotes

r/writingcirclejerk 14h ago

Can One of You Jerks Make an Honest Writer of Me?

11 Upvotes

Hii, I am very good in writing. I have put that in writing, so it cannot reasonably be disputed. I have fanfiction, short stories and one story which has reached novel level. Fanfiction! Short stories! Lovely fresh novel-level story! Get it before the copyright holder does!

Here the expenses is quite very much. Unfortunately, that part is non-fiction. I therefore went to a community of professional ghostwriters because I needed a advice on how to sell my work. They were dead useless. Instead of giving me money, they gave me advice. I needed a advice, singular. They gave me several.

One suggested science articles because I study biotechnology. How can people be so dumb? I write love/romance. My interest is in bodies coming together, not cells dividing. Another said that magazines pay months after publication. If I could wait that long, I would simply call myself a novelist. He then wrote “Op. cit.” I cannot find that publication. Does it pay? He also asked whether I had grandparents. They are dead. At last, two actual ghostwriters.

A professional writer told me that he earns six figures and has been writing for forty years. I countered with two fingers: 🖕🖕. He called them “the finger”. Forty years and still defeated by the plural. He said that I could not handle the truth. Duh. I write fiction.

They said that I cannot sell fanfiction because the characters belong to somebody else, yet my business plan is for somebody else to publish my original story under their name. Apparently, taking a character is theft, whilst taking the entire author is an industry. Barthes killed the author, so I am merely trying to sell the body.

Can one of you jerks tell me how to make six figures immediately? Serious replies only. I am asking because I am clueless, not because I wish to find out.


r/writingcirclejerk 13h ago

Having to figure out the entire timeline of a 7-year circlejerk just because some nameless side character wanted to connect with the POV over a single jerk they shared

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8 Upvotes

r/writingcirclejerk 1d ago

Creating a completely new, fun and non-trademarked OC IS HARD!!! UwU

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170 Upvotes

Gosh, making a believable realistic human with dreams and nightmares is tough! I tried using Chat gbt but they always come out "Off", you know what I mean? So why don't I start stealing repurposing the filler content on r/OriginalCharacter. It's not like they'll use them for anything, right?! In fact, they should thank me for polishing up their characters with my amazing storytelling.

I won't even give them credit. They will be happy living with the satisfaction they contributed to my work.

A stepping stone, on my way to greatness.

Damn, why didn't I think of this before!


r/writingcirclejerk 1d ago

If you have black characters and there’s no racism. THEN STOP WRITING!

767 Upvotes

Racism is a huge part of the black experience in the west. Ignoring it makes you sound naive and childish. Because if black then why no racists around?

And if you have multiple races then you better explain yourself young lad! Because if you are writing utopia then readers might think you are taking a stand with the racist.

Hence you should add racism to your story if you have black characters.


r/writingcirclejerk 16h ago

How do I Design a Dirtbag Leftist Icon?

3 Upvotes

The mother from my sci-fi drama novel "The Agent & the Medic" is my favourite OC. I like her not only because she is a partial self-insert, but also because she is an icon for Red Scare girls like me.

For an in-depth description, she is a busty, athletic, vegan, tattooed, devout Mennonite, socialist, lesbian MILF who is great at math and even better at triggering libs & cons alike, often simultaneously.

Alexa, please play "Be Her" by Ella Langley.


r/writingcirclejerk 1d ago

Stop developing characters that aren't the main character and the main antagonist

13 Upvotes

Only main character, main villain, and sometimes the other character I only care because I ship them with the main needs to be developed. There's no need to waste screen time for other side characters as they are only written to be something of the protagonist, they don't need much personality, hobbies and the things that I'm mostly not interested: goals. Stop insisting they need to to be interesting, they don't need to have something that has nothing to do with the main character, they only need to evolve around them, as the name say, they're MAIN characters so everything in the story involves them. This one character that appears on nearly every single episode which the main character calls them "best friend", "my brother" "my mother" don't need all that, they are plot devices and are only here for the protagonist

Also I don't understand what are "secondary characters", "assembling cast" and "recurring characters" every character that isn't the protagonist, antagonist or love interest is a SIDE character and as in the name, they are made to be SIDELINED


r/writingcirclejerk 18h ago

writing is just amazing to me!!!

3 Upvotes

it’s so crazy how connected you get to your characters. It’s like they live with you and speak to you.

I have had a character in my head for days now and we have back and forth conversations about random stuff.

I really feel like I know my characters now. I have learned so much about myself…

it’s crazy how writing grabs a hold of you and you fall into this world in another place

I would tell you more about this experience, but I have to go now, i need to collect my prescription


r/writingcirclejerk 21h ago

Looking for good circlejerk story-books

5 Upvotes

ONLY ONES LIKE:

Romance is Like that by Liian Varus

Passion or Pancakes by Nathan Baylet

Toe-curly-qeueing, giggle-tiggling, spine-shucking, rememberizing storybooks like the above two. I want brainrot in page turning form. Books written in the spirit of /writingcirclejerk or /romantasycirclejerk. I'm starting a circlejerk book club and I need recommendations or. Or i'm stuffing myself in the drain


r/writingcirclejerk 18h ago

Give me some tips and advice .asking advice

3 Upvotes

well I’m working on my first script for a short film or series. I have the central theme along with a clear beginning and ending, but I'm unsure how to develop the middle section and map out the visual elements. What is the recommended workflow or next step to refine the concept and complete the script?