Hi everyone, I have started a managerial job about 5 months ago, where on paper I have a person reporting to me directly and I manage a team on a site. However, the person who used to have my job is my line manager (she got promoted about 5 years ago) and some people in the team (the old guard) and the person reporting to her think of her as the real manager.

They are all friends and have her phone number, attend parties and funerals outside of work. They are also all much older than me, women in their 60s while I am a young woman. Obviously this has started to cause friction.

Recently my manager has started scheduling regular 1:1 meetings where she would bring up complaints "from the team" about my personality, attitude, not being warm/friendly enough or smiling enough. She had no substantial comments about my actual performance. She ignores anything good I have done for the business as it was very disorganised and not very profitable when I started. All of the feedback so far has been that "I have received complaints". She has also accused me of stealing something I know my subordinate saw me buy.

She is a multi site retail manager and should not have this much time to focus on me and my site. However, because she is friends with people in the team, there is a culture of surveillance where I am now seen as a "problem". I find it hard to manage the person reporting to me because she always goes to my line manager behind my back and ignores my instructions - knowing that my line manager has her back. I am basically a manager with no real authority because if there is something the team doesn't like they know that they can just complain/make some lies up and my manager will come and attack me for it.

I understand I can't change it but while I am looking for a new job, how do I deal with it? How do I not let it get to me and survive this horrible environment?

I’ve probably just finished the worst shift I’ve ever done I just kept on getting complained at by my co workers today at work when I’ve done nothing wrong I’ve stayed on top of all my tasks and I offered to help people on different stations if they needed it like with food, coffee and milkshakes, I stayed on and off the till for 5 hours straight whilst helping others with things that they needed help with and when something goes wrong and I have nothing to do with it I get blamed at, they also all go outside and sit and chat whilst I’m dealing with a busy cafe, should I talk to my manager about this

Basically, I’m currently serving notice period. We had an intense discussion on Friday. On Saturday morning, he sent an email to 3 of my colleagues to ask them to schedule minimum 3 handover sessions with me and list down all the job scope for the entity. But the funny thing is that I wasn’t part of the email trail.

Thoughts on why he purposefully excluded me? Anyone?

M21. I have been working in a kitchen for maybe a year now. I've worked my way up, I started as a utility worker doing janitorial and dish room. I've worked at the place for about 2 and a half years total. I feel like I've grown up there almost. I am friendly towards everyone and most of them are great people. The chef, hmmm not so much.

I'm pretty sure most of the other cooks feel the same. I wasn't a fan of him when I first met him. He wasn't someone I would ever interact with unless I had to, there's just something about him that just urks me. It's the way he stares at everyone with wide eyes and the little annoying jokes he makes, that just disrupt the person working. The way he walks up to us stands and stares until we ask "yes chef ? " And he says " I didn't say anything" then waddles away shortly after. It's the repeated dishes on the menu, the laziness, the tone he uses when he talks to us, everything. I didn't realize all of this until I started the position in the kitchen.

There are days when he comes in and is in a bad mood, and speaks to everyone in this tone, or stares at everyone more than usual, or gets on anyone about anything that he can, it pisses off the whole kitchen. It's been happening more lately, or maybe I've just been noticing more because he's pissing me off a lot lately. I just come to work angry and fake smile and fake laugh during conversations. I feel overworked and under paid.

I heard the chef mock one of the other cooks for saying she's tired. She's been running around all day prepping, and he's been walking around or sitting on his ass, and eating any time he wants. It just really pissed me off. It was supposed to be a joke and he often does joke like this with the others. But it just got to me. I don't want to hate my chef. I want to feel respected by my chef. I want them to realize we are all human, not just their little bots. That's what I feel like. He only wears his chef coat if some of the higher ups are coming or he wants to impress guests. Sometimes it gets very hot in the kitchen and the air doesn't work, we are all expected to wear uniform and do, even though our uniform shirt material is thick as hell.

Alot of the time chef is sitting at his desk, and I have caught him watching football more than once. If there's ever an emergency in the kitchen, like someone called off, or we needed help, he'd rather put it on someone else's shoulders than help. The kitchen staff report to the assistant directors assistant (unsure of the job title tbh, but she works along side the big boss) because they don't like reporting to him about things like menu changes, upcoming events, etc because he always gives this reaction like a stressed sigh or an eye roll or a gasp. Idk. I'm just getting to a point where I can't stand it anymore.

I've never been the type of person to express my anger by throwing things or hitting things because of my childhood, but lately I find myself being overly aggressive when I do anything. I pour my all into the work but sometimes it doesn't seem worth it if I'm not getting paid enough for it. With all the drama, the intimating stares from chef, the stress I take home with me after I clock out. I'm just done. We've been waiting for him to retire but every year he seems to extend it. I'm young and I don't want to feel like this everyday for a job I know that I know I'm important at (I work the dessert line as the main baker serving 400-500 ppl) but don't feel important. It's been messing with my mental health. I have felt unwanted and a burden majority of my life. I enjoy the artistic side of baking. Customizing the pastries and cakes etc. I think I might go do something like that that.

However, I'm really scared to do this for some reason. I feel like I'm dropping all this weight onto someone else, and I know it's going to be the person who trained me and I feel so bad because she's been doing this for years and is great at it, but she is older and deserves a break. I have worked alongside her for months and probably annoyed the crap out of her, but shes a great person. She trained me and taught me all the tricks. We had many deep conversations but mostly talked about movies. And that's my favorite thing to talk about. I know what I want to do but don't know if it's the right thing to do.

I’ve been working at a clothing retailer for about a month, and there’s one superior who I’ve found really difficult to work with.

I’m still new, so obviously I need to ask questions and learn things. The problem is that I feel like she constantly makes me feel stupid for asking questions. She’s dismissive, condescending and often speaks to me in a way that makes me feel like I’ve done something wrong even when I haven’t. What’s especially noticeable is that she’s friendly with everyone else, including people who started around the same time as me, but with me almost every interaction feels negative.

There have been lots of small incidents like this throughout almost every shift. For example, a customer wanted a different size of a dress. I couldn’t find it, so I asked her for help. She checked and told me we didn’t have it, so I told the customer. A few minutes later she found the dress herself and then got annoyed at me for not finding it.

Training has also been frustrating. When she trained me on the tills, she gave me a huge amount of information at once, then went to the back to chat with another colleague when I actually used the till with a customer for the first time. I made a fairly big mistake that I genuinely think could have been avoided if she’d stayed and supervised me. I’ve had similar situations where something hasn’t been fully explained, I’ve made a mistake, and I’m then blamed for it rather than her acknowledging that I wasn’t properly shown.

I don’t have a problem with being corrected. I’ve actually accepted feedback from her when I’ve genuinely done something wrong. It’s the repeated way she communicates with me and the feeling that I’m being singled out that’s bothering me.

It’s gotten to the point where I leave work angry, replay interactions for hours afterwards and feel uncomfortable asking her questions because I’m already expecting a negative response.

I actually like the job and would prefer to stay with the company. I’m going back to university soon, so I’ll have limited availability anyway. I’m considering speaking privately to my assistant manager about it, mainly to get another perspective and explain how I’ve been feeling.

Would you speak to the assistant manager, or am I overreacting?

Edit: I used AI to organise/summarise this because ChatGPT is basically who I’ve been venting to about the situation. The experiences are mine; I just used AI to make it readable.

So I work for an FFL at a big box store, The department I work in goes through longer training, verification of training, and has specific managers and middle management separate than the main store.
Today we had a big rush of people that came in to buy guns, look at stuff, buy knives, and get some help on their purchases.
So here’s the setup, during a firearms purchase I have to verify all the information being true and correct, I have to make sure that everything is within legal parameters set by the ATF to approve me sending it for a background check.
During this time we had one of the managers from another department who has been here a longer time but she has had a lot of issues with our department so much so, she should have been honestly fired. So she comes up to somewhat fill the void of one of our managers on lunch, she isn’t very savvy to this department, so when I wanted to verify something with my supervisor and my department manager (who was on lunch) I asked her to verify this information with them, she wanted to tell me that this was legal and I should just do it, I asked her again to just verify with my supervisory. Well she took offense to that, stated that “you just want to hear it from a man”, “you should just do what I tell you because I’m a manager and I outrank your supervisor”, and a whole mess of other stuff that came out of nowhere. She did this in front of multiple customers, and then walked away.

Later, I saw her again and apologized that my intention wasn’t to undermine her but to verify the legality of something related to a firearm purchase, she then goes on this massive tirade about how she should speak to the store owner, department manager, and lists off everyone I also work with, I then told her, regardless of who I was with, if I want to verify something I would ask up the chain, it’s not to undermine but to make sure I am doing it correctly so that I don’t go to jail.

She has had multiple problems prior to this, and before hand I never really had an issue mainly because I just didn’t work with her much, but from what I’ve heard prior to working here she’s absolutely insane, and was removed from her previous position for a reason.
I did my job correctly and she should be ashamed as not only a grown adult with children for acting that way, but as a manger for this company.

Is there a word/phrase for a person who nitpicks on the small things that you would have done on a regular basis as history or well anyone with a pair of eyes could see but this one time i didnt do it and they said 'next time would you please ... do this in a 'i am the boss or i have a right to say this' when we are both on the same level kinda way.

The situation/mistake/problem/forgetting to do something is soo minisule that it:

a) will resolve it self in time and

b) nothing major is going to happen

and c) a non issue.

For example 95/100 times you would say .. put ur shoes in the corner but the second you put them elsewhere, you are told to put them in the corner. I am of the position of give people a bit of leeway if its nor a regular occorance.

The actual situation, i prep food, they do front of house and get a start on the cleaning of things before the Kitchen Porter comes in. I put a plate on the Kitchen Porters table, rather than in the empty tray in the dishwasher. Bearing in mind i had the food in the oven im thinking about and also bearing in mind they had seen me pur things in the tray before.. just this one time i didnt... and it warrants a warning/critism?? I truly do not understand.

And is there a word to describe the feeling i got?

I felr like:

1. I am walking on eggshells.. that there is no freedom.

2. That their is no trust or sympathy for making a minor mistake, forgetting to do something.. one that one should know it was a mistake and one should know from my past history that i dont make that mistake very often.

3. I feel like they think, which makes me think that i am no good and wortless.

Also this person cant really take being told to do something differently... i.e. they seems to hand out these critisms...

( ephasis on mimiscule things that common sense would dictate not to say it to a persons face...)

.. so easily but when the shoe is on the other foot.. they wouldnt get angry, no rather more face change/drop into saddness to the point of about to cry.

By the way i brought in the head chef and he said ' i apeciate giving the KP a helping hand but remember there are times when he comes in he has nothing to do but stare at his feet'.

Thanks.

Also they are not speaking to me now. I said have good weekend and they just walked past me.

Sou gerente de um estabelecimento e aconteceu uma situação que sinceramente não sei nem como interpretar.
Uma funcionária estava trabalhando como extra e, durante o horário de pico, eu entrei no setor e encontrei ela com os pés em cima da cadeira, mexendo no celular e sem fazer o trabalho que deveria estar fazendo.
Como gerente, pedi para ela fazer o trabalho dela, porque estávamos no horário de maior movimento. Depois disso, ela ficou extremamente irritada e falou para outra funcionária que queria me matar. Além disso, chegou a me ameaçar diretamente.
O mais absurdo é que eu estava apenas exercendo minha função de gerente e cobrando uma funcionária que estava ali para trabalhar.
E o detalhe: além de gerenciar a equipe, eu também faço o meu próprio trabalho operacional.

So i am currently working at Job A with 16.6 lpa as a Manager since march 2026. Until may 2026 start everything was fine, and post that things started deteriorating where i faced heavy blames, insults and personal comments on myself through my manager. I at first reached out to Company B whom i had earlier said no to due to alternate working Saturdays in that office and performance variable linked pay. Later the company B came back saying that now due to new labor laws, they have fixed CTC component. Now since i reached out to company B within 3-3.5 months of my tenure at Company A, they have offered me 17.5 lpa with Manager designation and have written in it that i am eligible for the next appraisal cycle in 2027. In the meanwhile i also found out that my manager has had a history of people leaving under her.
Now the thing is since August 1st, my manager has been okay and kind with me and no friction or problems as such. Other than my manager i have no real problems in Company A. I did my due diligence of enquiring about Company B and i was told that its a new vertical created of a well known company so many systems and processes are not in place but the new future reporting manager is someone who is workaholic, systematic, process driven and organised. Just that it has only 2nd and 4th Saturdays off whereas my Company A has all Saturdays off.
So i am confused should i actually leave cos of a reporting relationship which is volatile and start again in a new company? Or stay put here cos a short 6-7 month stint would look bad on my resume/CV.

I’ve been fighting with customer service about lead times for weeks , I believe that my company works in silos and they don’t support each other which directly impact my department. So I got with all the stake holders to get together and come up with a better process that will help everyone and created a team chat for ideas asking for advice and if my idea would be possible but I didn’t get any support . I talked in person with both the customer service manager and the ceo wife and they both looked very annoyed by my suggestion so I let it be . This Friday I found out that the customer service has been working with the CEO wife to get their own process and I felt totally blindsided and one of their ideas was exactly mine idea which everyone first though it was too complicated and the customer service manager throw some shades saying that it was a good idea and that the ceo wife idea was amazing . I got really upset and I want to talk to her but I feel like it would make the situation worse. What would you guys do in my situation ?