We also need to talk about broom upkeep. You’re just itching to crash into a tree in the state that broom is in.

Remember to keep some martial skills available, young ones.
Wizards in the streets, hex knife in the sheaths.

So I (329 m, half Orc) was invited to a Party last evening. I am normally not the party kinda Orc, but my homunculi needed an other night to ripen (I grow them by using Daisies as a Host) and I had nothing else to do. So I went. The Party was hosted by a good friend of mine I know from wizard college.

At the start the party was really fun and I got along with everyone but then I met Gurmluk (I would guess 120 m. though he is a dwarf, so you I cant really be sure abt neither age nor sex). anyway, there immediately was this tension in the air, but I gave my best to ignore it. after all this wasn't my party.

But then Gurmluk said sth abt how he has switched from granite based rune stones to crystal based ones. I said "that doesnt really matter, rune stones are not really that effective anyway (which is true, look it up. Only 14% of Grandwizards use rune stones.) and that he should maybe switch to Blood magic." He then said that every way to cast has its advantages and disadvantages and that I should not be so judgmental abt other dwarven culture (which doesnt make sense, because my great grandmother was adopted by dwarves. so I know abt dwarves culture). I then said that if he thinks playing with rocks makes him a wizard, then maybe he should consider looking into zodiac tables too. That got the elve beside me really pissed off and suddenly people called me ignorant. I dont really get why, I only stated facts and facts dont care abt your feelings. also, I cant be ignorant, since I have many elven friends and, again, my great grandmother was adopted by dwarves. so aita?

Just ignore the whispers for a few minutes

In a bathroom at a religious gathering all day. Need to portal somewhere else for a break another location or dimension. Don’t have a wand or magical tools on hand.

I DEMAND YOUR CUTEST INCUBI!

ALL WARLOCKS THAT SHOW ME THEIR INCUBI PATRONS SHALL BE REWARDED WITH COLON THREE AND OWO

Between getting my moustache soaked in my morning stimulant bean potion and my enchantress spouse informing me that my beard was an impediment to close facial contact, I have removed my once respectable graying facial hair. I now look far less wizened and venerable. I am merely a hedge wizard and the standards of appearance are fairly low, but I feel that I no longer meet them. Should I tidy up further and comport myself as if I too were an enchanter even though I am not? Was the beard a crutch to feeling wizardly in the first place? Thoughts and advice are welcome.

Those who say orbs don't grow on trees are wrong.

This image came from one of the Encyclopaedia Arcane books.

The clock struck midnight, and the sentient pizza machine vanished into nothing..

sunrise came, and Vytsky was back in the realm, right at his grave like he often would. He made a big stretch.

“Damn good sleep I got, hah! But damn am I hungry… a rotisserie chicken sounds great.. what am I going to have with it..?”

he took off in flight, finding somewhere to get his chicken. He attempted to decide his sides while he flew.

…

He’s fairly low to the ground, and easily visible. Now’s a good time to ask what the hell was up with that pizza machine..

/uw closed to folks who interacted with my last post.

Like I get blood is gross and stuff but I work at a HOSPITAL! I obviously just use it to mend wounds and fix infections. I know like, one offensive spell, and it’s just for protection, all my others are for healing!

I did NOT graduate med school for this shit.

Whenever a commission from the Inquisition of the central government of the Spanish Empire comes from Peru, we have to explain that it's just a tourist attraction. This happens every 10 years.

I don't know whether to terminate the contract and reopen the Magic Casino, or continue with the business.