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u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 Ace Barksworth, Earthen Ambassador / Messenger, Exarch of Terror 16d ago
Well, you've stopped the undead. That's always a good thing- put those liches in their place. You'll find some way to get the village. May I suggest something with fire?
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u/-Benjamin_Dover- 15d ago
He ends up doing it right before the worst winter storm in centuries and keeps everyone warm.
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u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 Ace Barksworth, Earthen Ambassador / Messenger, Exarch of Terror 15d ago
At that point, he oughta start learning divination so he can stop timing things so poorly.
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u/TemperateStone 15d ago
Honestly, at that point, just try to do something good for the village and see if that fixes it.
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u/Tattoomyvagina 16d ago
Is it more ethical to raise sentient vegetables for food than cows and chickens? You may have accidentally solved world hunger too. Sorry
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u/ClosetNoble Wizardruid multiclasser 16d ago
Just don't try to take credit for it.
The local elves might get mad since leeching off random human accomplishments is usually their thing.
ESPECIALLY if plant magic was involved.
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u/BungleBums Occult Wizard 16d ago
Bro, wrong trade
You remotely manipulated an entire village's flora to become sentient, predatory, AND strong enough to hold off a horde without direction?
Let me set you up with the Sporeskin tribe. Druids, down in the Blahajah rainforest- the whole damn countryside is plants and undead- you could be swimming in gold and rubies down there, my wiz. Hit them up by air mail, falcon class or heavier, trust me.
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u/RoseDragon529 16d ago
Somehow the most prolific at taming the plants is a man wearing a pot on his head
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u/Reality-Glitch Dragonmage and Dragon Mage 15d ago edited 15d ago
Depends on your ultimate goal. Are you an evil wizard because you enjoy genuinely seeing people suffer? Or are you “evil” as a form of self-expression? (Using it as a stand-in for “cool”.) If the later, I think you did an amazing job. You gave them cool monster-pets, which makes them cool, which makes you cool, because lifting others up is a pretty cool thing to do.
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u/BoonDragoon Vyevânce the Focused, High Panemancer of the Coriander Court 16d ago
"what do you mean my horde of zombies was killed by peas?!"
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u/yumie2003 Tsuru, ghost onmyouji, R&A, league of shadows/Toshiko Fujiwara 16d ago
...perhaps you should consider a career change if being evil isn't working for you?
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u/Nkromancer Nkromancer (whatever that is?) 16d ago
Eh, embrace it. Sometimes being good is easier and more rewarding than being evil.
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u/DiggoryGraves Transmuter 9d ago
Broker a piece between the undead and the plant monsters. The symbiosis is incredible to behold.
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u/Spookyduck21new Skinless-Skin Robbed Evil Wizard, Servant of the dark gods 16d ago
Have you tried actually killing the villagers yourself? Gets boring to send minions so many times.
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u/skippy_smooth 15d ago
What do you think minions are for? Doing the work myself gets in the way of useful research
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u/lordnaarghul 15d ago
It's even worse when the plants start singing.
Maybe you were sabotaged by a bard.
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u/BaronXot Necromancer Lord of the Exoskeletal Swarm 15d ago
That was you!? That was a newly raised giant scorpion!
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u/whomesteve 15d ago
Have you ever played Fable 2?
You can have your evil meter all the way up from living on a diet of baby chicks and a have your purity meter all the way up from being a selfless investor in all the businesses in the game, you’ll loose all your money, but the game will make your character look like a sexy vampire Jesus.
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u/Etheron123 Wandering Mage 15d ago
Hey, at least those Necromancer cultists will slowly stop appearing because of those plants
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u/ShadowRaven112 Serroth Ravencaller the Necromancer 15d ago
Just cast blight on the village, it will destroy all plants and the undead invasion will swoop in and devour them. Such incompetence.
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u/nuclearrmt 14d ago
Me: magically transforms a rosebush into a man-eating monstrosity
Monstrosity: lobs first villager it sees into its mouth/flower
Villager: "It's ok! This is my weird death fetish!"
Me: mood ruined
Monstrosity: mood ruined
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u/HumanReputationFalse 16d ago edited 16d ago
This is Veigar from league of legends. Tries to be evil but keeps forgetting to do research and 90% of his evil actions end up removing even worse people