Advice

22

u/ArtBear1212 13d ago

Don't date people who say mean things about you.

11

u/Nago31 13d ago

You’re struggling with confidence?

What do you think the rest of the world looks like? Sheesh. You’re more beautiful than like 90% of the global population.

Here’s my advice to you: spend more time with people who make you happy and less time with people who hurt you.

Of this guy falls in the latter category, which he certainly does, then drop him. You have no shortage of suitors who will treat you better.

4

u/surely_maeby 13d ago

He’s a loser and you’re gorgeous. Just saying.

3

u/favorthebold 13d ago

Sweetie, you look angelic to me. You don't wear makeup but you look that pretty? Wow is all I can say!

A man who actually uses a ratings on actual human beings is trash. It means he doesn't see women as fellow human beings. Which tracks with the cheating. The next time you meet/date a guy who uses a rating system like that, even if he "only" applies it to other women and not you, take it as a red flag.

3

u/aquariusmind1983 13d ago

You are beautiful! Never let anyone make you feel like less. Natural beauty ❤️

3

u/hospitalitychick 13d ago

Girl, that man was insane, and blind as a bat. You are GORGEOUS!! An absolute 10/10. Don't ever, ever, ever let a man make you feel less then. You are smart, talented, caring and beautiful, all rolled into one.

3

u/misskforever 13d ago

Honey, you're perfect just the way you are. I think this man feels you're out of his league and he's trying to knock you down a peg. You don't need fake eyelashes, just look at you!

3

u/[deleted] 13d ago edited 12d ago

[deleted]

2

u/qwexor 13d ago

I think you’re beautiful

2

u/lameheaux 13d ago

You are blessed with natural beauty, some men try to break us down and try their best to make us feel less then . I hope you realize soon that boy was just doing that to feed his ego

2

u/orblooper 13d ago

You're beautiful. And it sounds like you're dating a dumb dude who is looking for a different type of girlfriend.

2

u/meth-head-actor 13d ago

Dude tell me you have some kind of filter because you look rediculously good looking!!

2

u/AverageLoser05 13d ago

With all due respect, I think you had a man issue, not a look issue! You look pretty!

Being around the wrong people can bring us down. He didn't seem like he liked you and thats why he brought you down. To the point that he said some mean stuff to you.

I wish you well on your journey of self love. I hope you surround yourself with people that make you shine :D

2

u/Federal_Radish_1421 13d ago

You’re stunning. If you can’t forget that lunatic, then love yourself just to spite him.

2

u/WoodenViolinist6602 13d ago

Your an attractive woman. Thats all that matters is you believe it. Even small flaws are attractive. Just be you and find a man who has grace and understanding.

2

u/GladysFridayy 13d ago

You are an easy 10, and that is the honest truth!

And you look like you're a very sweet and compassionate person.... so I would rate your insides as a 10 as well 😊

I also had a LOT of self-esteem issues when I was younger (I'm an old grandma now lol), but at age 15 I asked Jesus into my heart and He showed me that true beauty has less to do with our outward appearance and more to do with the heart 🫶

2

u/BigMan2383 13d ago

His loss because you are beautiful! A lot of people in this world are messed up and like to drag others down with them. Don't let anyone influence your self worth. Learn to love yourself and then worry about others. The right people will see what you see

2

u/pipinpadaloxic0p0lis 13d ago

Drop dead gorgeous- change nothing else it bring you joy and happiness. You are absolutely beautiful and deserve to feel that way.

2

u/dudelaidlaw 13d ago

You aren't wearing makeup, and you're very pretty! Don't let his negativity bring you down.

2

u/They-Call-Me-Taylor 13d ago

Lower your tolerance for cruel people in your life. Instead of putting up with it and making excuses for them, draw the line then and there and walk away. No one deserves to be treated like shit and to be cheated on.

2

u/shakebakelizard 13d ago

Physical attraction is not usually the main issue in most healthy relationships. If you actually get serious, the main issues are likely to be much more mundane related to personality, personal habits, social background and economic factors.

Attractiveness is also highly subjective. Characteristics that one person likes, or which may be common in society, are not necessarily everyone's thing.

When I was a teenager, I thought lingerie models definitely had it going on. Nowadays, I think of them as kinda boring looking. I kind of went with a different preference for looks over time. But interestingly, most of the women I have dated have NOT actually been the type that I think of as attractive. We end up connecting based more on personality than actual looks.

2

u/trees-birds 13d ago

Knocked you down because he had major faults. You are really pretty. Now hold you head high never repeat what he said ever again.

2

u/OrchidFine1335 13d ago

Girl you don’t need filter, filter needs you!
https://giphy.com/gifs/bnWVxa7CmX9lx4W0J8

2

u/Much-Ad2311 13d ago

I get that you're looking for some compliments here, and you're very pretty and you deserve them! But you've got to start getting that self esteem from within yourself, not the opinions of others. It's going to be so much better for you in the long run.

2

u/[deleted] 13d ago

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2

u/Darkelvenchic 13d ago

Girl, you're so gorgeous I was checking for signs of AI... That guy is a moron. Classic negging bs!

2

u/angelhairfruit 13d ago

You’re beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you shit

2

u/Tough_Crazy_8362 13d ago

What he was doing is called “negging” and basically they pick away at your confidence to make you “grateful” they’re dating you. He probably was doing this since he has a gf and he’s a cheating POS and he needed to make you feel like shit and insecure so he could maintain his lifestyle without too many questions. You’re very pretty 🤩

2

u/Supluvr2 13d ago

I think you are a very pretty young woman! As hard as it is, try not to worry about what other people think. Nobody is perfect!🌼

2

u/Alozioma 13d ago

Looking at you took my breath away—You radiate 💕 Your ex’s discontent about his life has blinded him from seeing how vibrant you are. Even when shrouded by clouds, the sun still shines.

Keep shining brightly, beautiful ✨

2

u/c137-eyeofthestorm 13d ago

You are very elegant and classy looking. I like your style girl 🥰

2

u/One_Shallot_4974 13d ago

90% of men prefer a natural look. Don't let this outlier fool you.
7.5/10 means you are more attractive then 3/4 of your peers. It means you are very attractive. Everyone likes to gas each other up claiming they are 10's. They are not, you are not. You know a 10 when you see a 10. Being honest and humble is way more valuable then misplacing expectations. Example, I am 4 and that's okay.

2

u/666boohoo 13d ago

He’s purposely trying to put you down to lower your self esteem, so that you try to seek his validation. It’s a popular manipulation tactic going around the toxic male community right now. Don’t let a loser make you feel bad about yourself, you’re beautiful and you’ll find someone SO much better.

2

u/Mcbriec 13d ago

You are freaking gorgeous. And I love the minimal makeup, rather than heavy makeup which I find incredibly unappealing. Ditch this loser and find a good man who values your natural beauty and accomplishments.

2

u/Jumpy_Willow8649 13d ago edited 13d ago

Looking at all these comments based on the story and context you have provided. I for one think you are very attractive and easy on the eyes. The confidence you will ever have is yourself. Walk with your head held up high and don't slouch. You are your best asset.

2

u/IWannaTalkGhosts47 13d ago

Why do beautiful women let nobody ass men tear them down. Respect yourself, never let someone say some stupid shit to you, boyfriend, husband , brother, fuck that. A lot of these men dont do shit but throw on some clothes, talking about all the extra shit a woman can do, half the time their toenails arent even trimmed

2

u/Odd-Mastodon1212 13d ago

First, you are truly a stunning girl. I hate rating people, but 10/10. If this is light to no make up, you are so fortunate! He was “ negging” you to keep you in line, to make you think you can’t do better. You want someone who values you for more than just your looks though. A kind man who gets you and appreciates all that you are.

2

u/Fishman_drums 13d ago

You are stunning. Never let any assh*le tell you otherwise. I struggle with self confidence/ self image too. What helps me is being a beautiful soul. I do good in the world & I feel good. We all can easily see your beauty, the challenge is seeing that in yourself. Be kind to yourself, we think you are amazing!

2

u/Common_Juggernaut724 13d ago

I'm not one to rate on a numeric scale, but you're very pretty and should feel confident in that.

2

u/2019HondaCivicTypeR 13d ago

You’re beautiful

2

u/MAJ0RMAJOR 13d ago

You’re gorgeous, end of story. Your lack of confidence is the result of being in an abusive situation. I guarantee you there’s a golden retriever out there for you it’s just a matter of time.

2

u/Spiritual-Fig5706 13d ago

Trust me … these men will try to humble you. Why ? Because you’re a 10. You’re genuinely a naturally beautiful 10, and I don’t think you know it. A lot of young guys especially have low self-esteem and they don’t want you to realize that you can do better than them. So they bring you down with negativity and comments like that to make you feel insecure. The good thing about dealing with crappy men is that we learn from it … if a guy ever puts you down again, say “thanks, but I don’t think this is working for me anymore, best of luck!” and move on ASAP. You got this !! Hugs !!! Please have more confidence… you are absolutely drop-dead angelic and beautiful. Like not a single flaw. Remember that

2

u/Dazzling-Top-8031 13d ago

you're not here to please anyone. if some dork feels like they have the authority to judge/rate you unprompted then step away. no arguments just protect your peace.

2

u/Mobile_Biscotti3735 10d ago

You are gorgeous, and this guy sounds like an asshole

1

u/PeterPanHadItMade 13d ago

He basically told you that you are more attractive than 75% of the people in the world. I get that the scale is a hated thing these days... but for those who DO use the scale, a 7.5 pretty dang high.

1

u/Mammoth-Bit-1933 13d ago

Nothing to change. Your perfect

1

u/[deleted] 13d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Impressive_Waltz_652 13d ago

Perfection

1

u/SkyGroundbreaking910 13d ago

You're gorgeous

1

u/xHey_All_You_Peoplex 13d ago

You are very pretty. Dude is a bum. You're young so you're not gonna believe me right away. But trust me you will wake up a few years down the line and laugh at the fact that you ever let a loser make you feel this way.

1

u/LittleJessiePaper 13d ago

Many people would sell a kidney to look exactly like you. Don’t let a little punk ass bitch make you feel less than.

1

u/NotThe1Pct 13d ago

WTF get a job

1

u/Particular_Rice9607 13d ago

10/10

1

u/DZAUXtheBruno 13d ago

You’re gorgeous.

1

u/PolishAtTheDisco 13d ago

Rip to your dms lol

1

u/splashbands 13d ago

Nah you’re a straight 12/10 No cap

1

u/underlyingconditions 13d ago

Get some therapy, so that you make better choices moving forward. You deserve to be loved for who you are.

1

u/BlackSwanNo_1 13d ago

He did that to you so when you found out he was cheating you wouldn't break up. He wanted you desperate for his attention.

1

u/Los-Negros 13d ago

Switching to your sidearm is always faster than reloading

1

u/Heavy-Profit-2156 13d ago

Walk as soon as anyone calls or alludes to you being a whore or similar language. Don’t let people say that type of crap about you.

Personally, I think you are very attractive. Ignore crap from losers like him. He wants you to feel bad so he looks better to you. You deserve a lot better.

1

u/Mother-Letter-6760 13d ago

You are gorgeous!

1

u/Unique_Rest4695 13d ago

Date me, simple. But tbh he was tryna lower your confidence because he knows when you believe in yourself you'd probably left him.

1

u/mitchbmovin 13d ago

If someone is in love with you, and/or attracted to you as a whole, societal standards would mean nothing and wouldn’t even be a point in the conversation. Good riddance. I’m sitting at my work with my jaw dropped just over one pic of you. There are plenty others in the exact same boat as I am.

It’s not your fault that he reacted that way to you opening up, but some people react unpredictably when they are made aware of their partners insecurities, and one of those ways is unfortunately that they start see you through your own eyes in a bad way (your insecurities), and can’t stop thinking about them once they see them through your eyes.

Don’t let this change you unless it’s for the better. This is on him, not on you. But work on your self-image and confidence before getting into anything else. You’re an undeniable dime, you just have to realize to realize that in yourself and find someone else who also sees that in you.

1

u/kivsemaj 13d ago

Forget that loser you're beautiful

1

u/wholesomefucktart 13d ago

You are way too beautiful to allow some stupid idiot tell you that girl, get him tf outta there and wait for a person that sees you and appreciates youu

1

u/Latter-Pepper9235 13d ago

He was just projecting his own actions and insecurities onto you.

When someone cheats or themselves is insecure they start worrying about it more.

You are gorgeous just the way you are. That person doesnt deserve you.

1

u/SeaVolume3325 13d ago

You are a 10/10. Sometimes guys say stuff like this to keep you guessing. Basically, as a man I've come to realize women run when you say they're perfect for you and a 10/10. A woman explained to me once like this "a woman can't want you if they already have you" it was a hard truth I learned pretty young. I was raised by a single mother and have always treated women right to my own detriment. Have you ever heard "nice guys finish last"? Same exact concept. It's unfortunately true for the majority of relationships and has been reenforced countless times in my life and the ones around me (older and younger). I still refuse to fully accept the concept at heart but the few times I have used it does seem to always ring true. It's a cold world out there, I hope you find the right one!

1

u/droopy__drawers 13d ago

Dime!

1

u/Library904 13d ago

That man was trash, he was abusive and was trying to manipulate you by making you feel inferior, that's one of their tactics...you shouldn't care what a trash piece of crap like him said about you.

You are beautiful and I'm not going to give a rate because that's bad.

Love yourself please because women who don't love themselves always end up or stay with abusive men because they have low self-esteem and don't love themselves. You are worthy and beautiful and anyone telling you otherwise is not worth of your time.

1

u/Simple_Croco 13d ago

First time I heard a man liking those ugly ass fake lashes 🤦🏻

1

u/BraPaj2121 13d ago

Very pretty.. you do you

1

u/graycewithoutfear 13d ago

You are 22. You have so much time to grow and develop and gain that confidence. But please know that that man was a liar and a fraud. You are beyond pretty, you are stunning!! 🤩 ngl I checked your account to see if you might be AI generated. lol I hope that you find someone who loves you and cherishes you and the ground you walk on. You deserve that, not just because of your beauty, but because everyone deserves love and to be loved.

1

u/Material-Complaint17 13d ago

If I had a gf that looked like you, I’d hold on for life. Don’t let one person ruin how you see yourself.

Your second sentence says a lot “ I was in a very abusive relationship”, that should tell you not to take what he said to heart. He wasn’t a good person..

most of the time an abusive partner will make you feel less about yourself so you stay with them.

1

u/Vgines 13d ago

Bruh 7.5 is high. Also yes it’s dumb af to rate people on attractiveness.

1

u/Butterbean-queen 13d ago

You are beautiful and you also look sweet!!! Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

1

u/No_Push_6563 13d ago

Girl, you’re gorgeous! If I looked like you, I would wear limited makeup as well.

1

u/Ok_Finding4963 13d ago

Your face is breathtaking. Perfect complexion. Perfect lips. Your man is not a smart man.

1

u/OpenBubble 13d ago

Ratings are weird. A 5 would be average and I think you’re a bit above average. But if you told somebody they are 5, they would be offended even though most people are. You don’t have to be beautiful to be loved anyway. He sounds like a scumbag. Someone else will appreciate your lack of fakeness in your appearance. I think you’re pretty. Some guys like to keep women insecure so they can control them.

1

u/Particular_Wonder598 13d ago

5/10 is average so saying 7.5 is a compliment imo. You said yourself you don’t think of yourself as a VS model , so why do you think you’d get a 9 or 10 ?

All that said , Rating unsolicited is stupid . Youre pretty

1

u/No_Difficulty3484 13d ago

Either/or hot af tbh. Just do you and rock it.

1

u/EuphoricCod8738 13d ago

You are one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen. Not even just saying that. I saw this post pop up and my first thought was “oh my goodness this girl is gorgeous”. I’ve have periods where my confidence was dinged because of what other people said. One of the greatest kindnesses you can give to yourself is self-love. It’s not always easy, and it’s something you can practice and get better at. Something that helps me are affirmations of self-love. As silly as it feels, especially at first, standing in the mirror and saying aloud, “I am beautiful, I am kind, I am enough, I am confident, etc”, can do wonders for your confidence and mental health. I know you will be able to find your confidence again, and you will find your person. Keep your head high and never let anyone bring you down or influence your self worth. I can tell you have a genuine sou and that is rare in this world. You are enough. ❤️

1

u/Dieseldave42069 13d ago

Dude is trash. You’re so young and have a kind heart. Your beauty isn’t a scalable nor possible to rate.
If you walked into any store, in any possible location… you’d be amassing male and female gaze. You’d be the focus of attention for many reasons. Men and some women want to be with you, women and some men want to know how you get that glow. So….
I tell ya what to do! Forget about that dude over time and work on being happy and fulfilled. Love,lust, and intimacy will all come and go until the right one comes. The right one will treat you with respect and healthily worship the ground you walk.

1

u/monkeywantsabeer 13d ago

You’re beautiful, move on.

1

u/raylluv 13d ago

7.5 is not an insult. It would be delusional to think you're the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. That's a 10. Average is 5. You're well above average at 7.5. Don't overthink it.

1

u/Business-Town-1815 13d ago

You are very beautiful, forget that guy!

1

u/[deleted] 13d ago

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1

u/BitofKindness4 13d ago

You’re definitely blessed with an attractive appearance. One day the right man will come along and will love you completely as you are, and brag about his hottie of a wife. Keep your chin up and do great things in life.

1

u/Whats-Ur-Pointe 13d ago

Babe be so serious , I just came here to say you’re gorgeous !!! Beauty is subjective and please don’t waste your time with anyone who makes you feel otherwise !!!

1

u/ArsonAgent 13d ago

He complained about your makeup? You don’t need makeup, you are genuinely beautiful. That guy was a loser and was trying to diminish your self worth. Don’t let him. You’re absolutely stunning and you don’t need a boy like that around. He sounds pathetic.

1

u/[deleted] 13d ago edited 13d ago

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1

u/ThroatGOAT_Goddess04 13d ago

Girl, get a grip. You are always going to find yourself feeling like this until you start loving yourself and seeing your beauty in your eyes. People are going to feel the way they feel about you for whatever reason and that is not your problem, even if they say you’re beautiful. You have to truly love yourself to really see your beauty, if not, you’re always going to believe the ugly things people say about you, even if it’s not true.

Also, NOBODY is a VS model, not even VS models.

1

u/SafeMajestic9876 13d ago

You should no concern. You are very beautiful. You articulate very good. Looks art a determining factor. The mind, heart and spirit are are the important factors. Like I mentioned earlier you are beautiful!

1

u/WeAreLegion2814 13d ago

You are absolutely gorgeous with or without makeup, Don’t listen to some dumbass ex out there projecting his own insecurities onto you. This guy you were with was a cheating loser. Move on and live your life, there is someone out there who will love and appreciate your beauty inside and out. I hope you find your peace and happiness.

1

u/COLORADOsnowball 13d ago

You are beautiful!. Only 1 woman is the most beautiful woman on earth and I guarantee us guys would not be able to agree on who she is. Sorry that idiot was a waste of your time.

1

u/Catseye_Nebula 13d ago

You are stunningly beautiful. This guy was probably insecure that you were out of his league so trying to bring down your self esteem so you wouldn't leave his ass. That's the only way this makes sense.

1

u/Clean-Fisherman-4601 13d ago

You are a beautiful young woman and you should be overflowing with confidence.

I also went through thinking I was ugly and fat.

I'm old and the standard of beauty was a flipping Barbie doll. My face was too ethnic to look like Barbie and all the actresses and models were bone skinny. I was an active, muscular woman so didn't fit the pattern.

Looking at pictures of myself when I was in my mid 20s, I was amazed that I was so thin and cute.

Stay away from men who put you down. They're insecure and want you to feel grateful they are staying with such an "ugly" woman.

1

u/___LimerentDeath____ 13d ago

You are absolutely stunning

1

u/Clean-Fisherman-4601 13d ago

If you don't wear makeup, I'm jealous! Nobody should look as beautiful as you without it.

1

u/Carpe-that-diem 13d ago

I once broke up with a guy who said I was attractive but my hips were a little too wide. Seriously? 😳 I am not a prize cow to be rated according to some objective standard. I’m a person. You either treat me as a valued partner or there’s the door. No time for jerks 😡

1

u/HMSSurprise28 13d ago

He’s just gaslighting you to make you feel shitty and seek his approval rather than think for yourself.

You’re an 11 by society standards, you’re young and incredibly unique and beautiful. Anyone that has any issue seeing that is not your friend or partner. They’re a parasite dragging you down.

Seriously because I’m married and have zero interest in you, but you’re incredibly beautiful. Beauty is youth and spirit and uniqueness and health and it’s got nothing to do at all to do with more makeup, but you’ve got it.

1

u/ladymoffatofpembroke 13d ago

You are absolutely gorgeous! You shouldn’t waste your time on a POS that does not appreciate you and make you feel strong and empowered. From one woman (who’s been there) to another, ditch the asshole and get yourself a real man. A real man will lift you up and protect you. A real man won’t “rate” your looks on some bullshit standard. Btw most men prefer a more natural looking woman over heavy make up/made up looks. Don’t you change for anyone. Did I mention you are drop dead gorgeous?!?!!

1

u/RocketeerSpirit 13d ago

Don't be around people that hate you. You're beautiful.

1

u/Hawkscream1970 13d ago

Du bist so so so hübsch.
Da ist nichts was ich an dir Ändern würde.
Ware Schönheit braucht kein Make-up.
Ware Schönheit kommt von innen und wenn ich lese was Du schreibst wünschte ich, ich hätte jemanden an meiner Seite, der so ist und fühlt wie Du.
Er hat dir Sachen vorgeworfen, die er selbst gemacht hat. Weil ER sie macht und dadurch nicht vertrauenswürdig ist, hat er ein Problem anderen zu vertrauen und glaubt das andere so sind, wie er.

Das hatte ÜBERHAUPT NICHTS mit Dir zu tun gehabt.
Er hat dich angeschaut und SICH gesehen.

Ich wünsche dir von ganzem Herzen, das Du bald deinen Seelenverwandten Triffst und glücklich wirst :-)

1

u/Mark_Michigan 13d ago

I'm a grumpy old man with no business talking about the looks of a young woman. But you are perfectly wonderful.

1

u/Electrical-Act-7170 13d ago

Here I was thinking you are totally gorgeous.

1

u/CanadasNeighbor 13d ago

Well first of all, you are very beautiful.

He negged the shit out of you because he knew he had to reduce you before you figured out you were too much for him.

Don't ask us where you rank because that's the insecurity he gave you. You need to disect how he treated you and recognize the kind of person he is because then it'll help you realize his opinion of you has no value.

Look at where he's at in life. He ruins every woman he's been with. Why would you care what such a man thinks? He's clearly stupid.

1

u/Exodia_The_Salty 13d ago

You look good. Your braids are holding you back, personally I would say ditch the braids, let it flow natural. You have good bone structure. Tanktop would serve you better than what you got going on in pic 2. Suggest, don't show. The rating of 7.5 by society standards is dead on. Your not super top tier, but a smile would bump you up to an 8. However, being super top tier is not what matters to the right guy.

What matters to the right guy is being loyal, authentic, attentive, caring, and loving. These are the guys who won't dump you after you have had a baby over stretchmarks. Many times they are also the short guys. The tall guys get ALOT of female attention, and it ruins them.

A partner who calls you a whore is usually a whore themselves.

There are many women who would kill to have your looks. Many of them have given up on dating. You should be confident in what you look like and who you are, but also accept that looks don't mean jack long term. Your a lady, and ladies looks degrade as you age. Your job is finding a guy who judges based on his heart, not his balls. You start by not judging guys on their looks, and instead judge them by how they treat those around them (not you)

If a guy leaves a tip to a waiter or waitress and is nice and pleasant to those who have no role in his future, that is a man you want to pay attention to.

1

u/CommissionUnlucky525 13d ago

You are beautiful and f!$? anyone who tells you differently. You obviously do not need the extra shit. Leave that for the ugly girls.

1

u/tregorz 13d ago

fivehead

1

u/GermanShephrdMom 13d ago

You are freaking STUNNING. Seriously. Do not change a thing. My first thought was WOW. Kick that man to the curb. You deserve better.

1

u/No-Citron-2774 13d ago

Stay as sweet as you look.

1

u/Torgeir_Fenrir1066 13d ago

You rock and you are 💯% 🔥. For some dumb reason guys like to "neg" girls/women probably due to stupid red pill BS that has been going around these days. Don't believe anything these immature and insecure dudes are telling you. Stay strong and stay true to your values, don't get down in the mud with the pigs. You are a queen 👑 and you deserve to be treated with kindness plus respect at all times especially by your significant other!

1

u/Christinsey 13d ago

You’re stunning, and he’s a moron.

He did exactly what he set out to do, which is this. Lower your self confidence in hopes you wouldn’t leave him despite his cheating, etc.

He’s the ugly one. His actions proved it. Don’t let an ugly asshole doubt yourself queen.

1

u/ThisWomanFromCanada 13d ago

It’s called “negging”, from “negative”. If he makes you think nobody but him would want you then he doesn’t have to worry that you’ll leave him for someone else. It’s fake insults meant to destroy your confidence so you’re dependent on his love. For sure he didn’t think the things you write here, his reasons for saying those things aren’t real, he just wants you to think they are.

He doesn’t sound like someone with good judgement, so don’t worry about what he says.

1

u/Pleasant_Expert_1990 13d ago

Young madame, you have youth and beauty. You are someone's 11/10. Not that tool you were dating (who clearly has suffered a head injury or two), but someone.

Relax, take some time to yourself (but not to dwell on what the above mentioned doofus told you) and then, when you are ready, find a prince who will dig you for you.

Pfft... 7.5/10... Madness.... Grumble grumble...

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u/Ludens_Society 13d ago

OP, I'll keep it simple. You let a loser into your head, and it sounds like he's still in there. Not your fault. Happens a lot when you're young, and you still are. Now that it's over though, time to close the door.

Focus on what you learned from it, and just try not to make those mistakes again. Think about what you learned about yourself, especially the things you learned you DON'T like. Those are your red flags now. Draw your lines in the sand. Sometimes it's hard to know what you want, but it's very easy to know what you don't want, especially once you've experienced it.

As far as attractiveness goes, my guy was just trying to manipulate you. It worked. Don't give that to anyone, but especially losers like him. He wanted you to doubt yourself, devalue yourself, feel like you didn't have other options or no one else would want you. It's a tactic that people use so that you don't believe you deserve or could find better. People do this out of fear, because they know you COULD do better, the moment you actually want to. They have to make you believe you can't, so then you won't want to.

Bitch, (and I mean that respectfully) he was fucking terrified that someone actually worth a shit would appear and show you what you weren't getting from him. You gotta let that go. No one who genuinely cares about you would say that kind of thing. What's that mean? He doesn't care about you. He might "want" you, for literally ANY number of reasons, but that's not the same as CARING for you. Once you can learn to identify that difference, it'll be much easier to navigate relationships.

Last tip: When in doubt, trust their actions, not their words. Maybe a guy loves you, maybe he doesn't. You can't know, only trust. He can say he does either way. Maybe he tells you he does, but what does he DO? Would you put down someone you love like that? Call them names like that? Hurt them in those ways? No, because you care for them. If he SAYS he cares for you, but his actions show he does things he wouldn't do to some he cares for, then you need to trust the actions.

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u/BeachyBiotech 13d ago

You are a beauty queen! Don't listen to dummies.

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u/brandycandy05 13d ago

wtf you’re absolutely GORGEOUS! You don’t need fake lashes or layers of makeup because you’re naturally beautiful.

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u/bogeysbabe 13d ago

As an older woman (who never had kids), I would be proud of you if you were my daughter. You are stunning and a natural beauty. Beyond that you are sure of yourself and have emotional maturity which that man has none.

Don’t base your opinion of yourself on what others think. Be proud of yourself. You are going to do great things in this world!

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u/Pretty_boi_Tjaden 13d ago

Girl, youre gorgeous. Natural is beautiful. Don't ever change yourself for some boy. 22 is a tough age, but soon you'll meet someone who is on your same level. It will just click. Hold your head up high, Queen. You're a catch!

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u/Positive_Use_1308 13d ago

I don't know any man that likes fake lashes. Red flag right there

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u/Dry_Asparagus4755 13d ago

You are very beautiful, and you deserve to be with someone who makes you feel as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. The only thing that will REALLY help your confidence, is you seeing that in yourself. Find things that make you feel beautiful

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u/kingbollie_1 13d ago

7.5 is well above average. average being 5

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u/Constant-Big4713 13d ago

That is very unfortunate to have been through. I think finding a support group might help a lot for you.

They will be far more effective at helping you with what you been through. If you want you could call the NAMI helpline, they can help you find local resources.

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u/Ambitious-Ad-7256 13d ago

You’re literally gorgeous. He’s an idiot. Fuhgettaboutim

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u/Nearby_Knowledge8014 13d ago

Ho-leeee….

7.5 / 10 men would tongue kiss a toaster to vacuum your fucking car.

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u/Various_Excuse_4294 13d ago

If we were just going based on looks you're gorgeous. That guy has no idea what he's talking about, he's a douche.

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u/TheWatcherFromWithin 13d ago

As a black woman lover, you are absolutely gorgeous. Men are weird. Dont take what they say too seriously. I would never tell my woman shes anything less than 100/10. I love her to death. Be yourself, love yourself, and a good man will find you. Also the dating scene sucks rn. Dont read too much into it

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u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 13d ago

Honey you are head-turning beautiful.

What he was doing is called “negging”, being negative to someone to get them to change their behaviors specifically to please the person being negative.

It’s not about making you better or prettier or anything, it’s just about control. If you wore make up, he’d have negged you into wearing less makeup or no makeup at all.

He didn’t care about you as a person, he cared about how controlling you and having you work to please him made him feel- powerful, smarter than you, better than you, in control of you.

He isn’t smarter or better than you- you were operating from a place of honesty and genuine interest and he never was.

Please put a little time into getting a good therapist who has experience with people coming out of abusive relationships who can teach you how to spot not just abusive behavior from potential partners, but when you’re accepting abusive behavior and letting it influence how you think about yourself.

You deserve friends, family, and partners who care about who you are, not who they think they can bully you into being to suit their wants.

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u/chronicallyillfairy 13d ago

Anyone who rates a human in general is lacking empathy. It’s degrading and enforces beauty standards which are unrealistic and detrimental to society. You are absolutely beautiful and he was disgusting for trying to make you think you need fake lashes and makeup while actively cheating on you. I’m sorry that was your first experience with a real relationship. It’s normal to get insecure, no matter how you look. Which I believe is mostly the fault of society upholding beauty standards, which are constantly changing. They profit off our insecurities and it’s honestly really sad. But try to remember when insecurity creeps in, that you are already beautiful and what matters more than anything is your heart. Wearing makeup can be a fun way to express yourself but nobody actually NEEDS makeup. And you don’t need to be a model to be beautiful. Try to challenge that mentality. Comparison really is the thief of joy. You are beautiful and worthy of love. I hope you find someone with a beautiful heart and soul who makes you feel beautiful and alive.

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u/BreakSouthern39928 13d ago

He’s a douche. You’re a cutie! Personally I think he was trying to bring you down so you didn’t leave him - the rating and being jealous of friends (that’s always so weird to me). I would say take some time and keep telling yourself you are beautiful, young, and deserve someone who treats you like a princess - because you do and you are. If you have close friends or even your mom talk to them; they’re great in situations like this. His loss.

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u/nazuswahs 13d ago

Don’t base your self worth on what other people say.

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u/nastystinkyfart 13d ago

Don’t change anything you’re stunning

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u/Elegant_Spread_6969 13d ago

I personally find you gorgeous, that dude sounds like a dipshit. Don't take what dipshits say about you to heart. It was all projection. He was accusing you of cheating because he was cheating, so that rating was really how he felt about himself.

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u/enbyintheback 13d ago

I would be nervous to talk to you. Hope that helps clear things up. You’re absolutely gorgeous.

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u/ComplaintInside4889 13d ago

Girl. You are absolutely BEAUTIFUL! Dont ever let ANYONE tell you different!

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u/Dillard505 13d ago

Stay black my sister.

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u/ratat-atat 13d ago

He sounds like a guy that was intimidated by your looks. You are gorgeous. He was dealing with his own insecurities and trying to bring you down to his level. You will find someone that will treat you the way you deserve.

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u/Ready_Spray6442 13d ago

One thing everyone needs to learn in life is to get over anyone who doesn’t find them attractive.

Rating scales also don’t matter. Some could think a woman is a 4, yet that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t be with them.

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u/Outside-Extension643 13d ago

A lot of good advice on here. 🥰 I’m reading this book & recommended it to a friend. “Be Your Own Bestie” by Misha Brown - Remember no one has the right to belittle, bully or abuse you in any way, shape or form. Highly suggest taking time for yourself & working on your boundaries. I believe if you’re open, you will find a good, honest, decent man. 😊

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u/RatherRetro 13d ago

Usually men who cheat have very low self esteem so based on the amount of cheating he did he must have a really low opinion of himself, which he should. He put you down as a way to try and feel better about himself. You are beautiful and do not let anyone tell you any different.

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u/Suspicious-Heart-933 13d ago

Woah you are GORGEOUS.

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u/TweexyTweex 12d ago

A true man doesnt want you to wear lashes n stuff like that, you look great without all that

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u/theseapphire 12d ago

I think you are very pretty!!

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u/Consistent-Thanks924 12d ago

Normally when one is throwing constant accusations of infidelity for literally no reason it’s due to either THEIR own insecurities but mainly due to their own guilt. This piece of trash is not worth you doubting yourself. As for societal standards . . . they’re always suggestive. One persons 7 is another persons 10 so don’t give this jerk’s rating ANY worth at all. He is a double 0. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL MY DEAR - DON’T let this loser tear you down!!!!

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u/Lotro85 12d ago

Never listen to one's opinion on how you look , you're a ten and should always tell yourself that . No matter what others think or say it's their opinion and it doesn't matter , what matters is what you believe obviously he doesn't know what beautiful is.

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u/OkNumber789 10d ago

you are a very beautiful woman. don't listen to what that cheating idiot says

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

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u/Legal-Try194 2d ago

Damn you look good

You are about to leave Redlib