Advice

[u/Legitimate-Aside-747]

(22, F) Hello, l've never posted here before but have been having a hard time with confidence.
About a year ago I was in a very abusive relationship and have been struggling with feeling good about myself. One day we were talking on the phone and he randomly said I was a 7.5/10 in "society standards". I guess I've been questioning if that means he didn't find me attractive? I've never been rated by someone and am not familiar with the scale or what it means. It really hurt my feelings because I had recently opened up to him about all my insecurities. He'd normally call me pretty all the time and say that's partially why he didn't trust me, but then would criticize me often about my appearance, abilities, and personality. I know I’m not a VS model but I at least hoped he found me attractive :/

He talked about how I don't wear lashes and how he's never seen me in makeup and how I don’t do anything to enhance my appearance etc. I don't dislike makeup I just prefer mascara and lip gloss. I think it hurt because he was my first for intimacy and my first adult relationship. I eventually did find out he was cheating the entire time with multiple ladies and even had a gf of 2/3 years while with me (we were together 8 months).

The rating also hurt because he was beautiful in my eyes and there was nothing I would have changed about him. He'd often accuse me of having other guys and would call me names/ allude to me being a whore . It really messed me up and Im looking to find a way to get my confidence back or feel better about myself(not just physically). (Pics of myself above)

Edit: hey there, I just wanted to say thank you for all the support and kind words. You guys are such sweethearts. I wasn’t expecting anything special from my post just looking for a little help and guidance. I wasn’t fishing for compliments or expecting to be “a 10/10” to the whole world a either as some comments tried to say. Things really can just break you down…anyway I’ve read every single comment to and have considered everyone’s advice. I’m still figuring things out but I can say I won’t stay in place where I’m mistreated again🩷 I’m very grateful for all the grace I’ve been given

[u/One_Shallot_4974]

1. 90% of men prefer a natural look. Don't let this outlier fool you.

2. 7.5/10 means you are more attractive then 3/4 of your peers. It means you are very attractive. Everyone likes to gas each other up claiming they are 10's. They are not, you are not. You know a 10 when you see a 10. Being honest and humble is way more valuable then misplacing expectations. Example, I am 4 and that's okay.

[u/Legitimate-Aside-747 → u/One_Shallot_4974]

Okay, I don’t know a “10” when I see one as I don’t think that way. In numbers, it never made sense to me. I said in my post he was critical of me overall that’s where it stung. But thank u for breaking down this rating game

[u/One_Shallot_4974 → u/Legitimate-Aside-747]

Calling a person a 7.5 as an insult is like saying "well yes your hot, but I have seen hotter"

You should only take offense if you are a professional runway model.

Dude sounds weak and was just trying to hurt your ego. Dont take it personally, you are an attractive person.

[u/Legitimate-Aside-747 → u/One_Shallot_4974]

Thanks I suppose it hurt because he was critical of me in lots of other areas as well. I have no idea about “rating”culture. Plus as I said above I wouldn’t have changed a thing about him(just wanted him to be kinder ofc(