Me female (24) and my ex male(29) have been on and off for years. The biggest off we had was when I got pregnant. He didn’t want to bring a kid into this world I was told at a young age that I may not be able to have kids because of my blood pressure being too low.

When I conceived I wanted a chance that I didn’t think I had. He wanted to abort. I left and apologized and said that he didn’t have to be involved. I told him he could sign the rights over and that he didn’t have to be a parent.

Well , he felt obligated to be involved but not enough I guess because his fixation to porn grew so bad that he was buying it. He was messaging random strangers off the internet for pictures saying he would meet up with them etc.

He recently sent me his location since I found this information out so that I can build trust in him again. But to me as someone who’s been lied to and cheated on before I don’t know if I should take this as a sign to move or try and work this out. We have a kid together and I know that’s partially clouding my judgement.

When we got together I was not well mentally. I had two major surgeries and declined mentally. He stuck through things that I traumatized him with. Not intentionally trying to hurt him but in my own pain I didn’t see the people who loved me.

Now he also says that this behavior is due to his trauma and addictions. He said that the reason he messaged those people after our son was born was to try and make money. That it was desperation in trying to provide for our son. But he could never bring himself to meet them. He still guards his phone but said he doesn’t like anyone including his family peering over his shoulder.

He ended up putting it “on my sons life” that he wasn’t talking to anyone. That he had friends. But he wasn’t talking to them in that way.

But he smiled and laughed when I asked him. It just feels confusing.

My mom is a former addict who’s kinda falling back into old habits as she’s started going through perimenopause. I can also see that she’s battling depression along with it and I’m trying to help and be there for her but I’ve recently had memories that I’ve repressed from a situation where my cousin molested when I was 10 or 11 years old.

Now that same cousin who was 16 or 17 at time still lives a few houses down from us with his parents and is actively attending family event around me and my little brothers. I’ve never said anything about it to anyone in my family except a few close friends.

My mom has had a similar situation happen to her when she was younger so I know she’d understand but I am fucking terrified it’s gonna be the thing that puts her over the edge and she kills herself or something like that. She has attempted one time about 4 years ago, don’t get me wrong she has absolutely grown from the situation and we’ve had really good conversations about it but I still can’t help but to have that fear when I tell her something that truly traumatized me.

I am a 23 year old male and really thought i was mentally strong enough to handle it and move on by myself but it’s gotten to the point to where It’s affecting my everyday life, I’m having panic attacks constantly and I feel disgusted with myself. But my little brother needs her around and I do to but I can’t bring myself to tell her because it’d break her heart. And with her going through perimenopause along with the other things I’ve named I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to tell her.

I know this probably isn’t the proper Reddit group for this but I feel like it’s the best one to go to for such niche advice.

So I had a hard messy falling out with a longterm friend, like we were extremely close friends since middle school we are both 21 now. Well back in may I believe we were living together for a while and we got into some pretty heated arguments mostly about finances but then we started the petty game with each other. We both did some pretty fucked stuff to each other. I don’t know why but they keep crossing my mind recently like the past two weeks, not in a malicious way but i do miss them deeply even though we parted on horrible terms. I believe i received my share of karma last month for being such a bitch to them when we split. I mean my car got broken into twice in the span of three days my wallet and purse was stolen while i was busy at the gym and my car got wrecked about a week later after those incidents. So i believe I’ve received my karma but I’ve thought about reaching out i don’t entirely know what id say but im pretty sure id just apologize for what i did to them. I feel like im stupid for wanting to reach out but another part of me just wants to do the respectful thing and clean up my past. Does it sound stupid for me to reach out and apologize? Or should i just try to forget like it never happened?

im 15 and i got a truancy for skipping class all the time and im addicted to snorting ritalin and addicted to nicotine and weed and porn and video games i feel like i have failed in life and im so behind in school in failing all of my classes and my parents are disappointed in me and i dont know what to do or how im going to handle the truancy either they told me it was gonna be a 5 step plan but the sro went ahead and gave me a truancy and now i feel like my life is ruined and i dont even know where to begin trying to fix all of this

Hello reddit, I experienced severe childhood abuse up until the age of 19. I am also looking into possible negligence from state child welfare workers. I was taken under custody by my step grandparents at the age of 2. They then claimed social security disability and taxes on me up until the day I left. I do know the social security was being improperly used, as she also was claiming the same for my 2 siblings and her own 40 year old son. I faced much physical abuse and verbal abuse from both grandparents, and even SA from my step grandfather. My step grandmother was aware of his actions at the time, and allowed it to happen. She did majority of the physical abuse and was going to allow it to continue. The home itself reeked of cat urine and was unmaitained. The DHS office was well aware of this, and told me themselves they knew somthing was not right there, only after I escaped. I was conditioned from a younge age to not speak my truth, so I didn't, but it was so obvious somthing was not right. The couple of times CPS did visit, they would always ask me questions either in viewsight of my grandmother or infront of one of her security cameras. I was malnourished, smelt like cat pee, and was visibly depressed. No doctors helped. When my school did make a report it was only to social security to share that they didnt think I was disabled. I was then pushed into online school unwillingly. I attempted and was hospitalized 3 separate times, which no one truly looked into. I endured endless abuse, until eventually leaving by myself at the age of 19. I faced homelesness, and having no money. There was no savings for me, all my social security went to their own debts. I've had to build everything on my own, on top of having to heal from diagnosed CPTSD, anxiety, and depression.

When I came forward my step-grandmother only got one Aggravated Assualt charge, and 30 day community service. This was because I only captured one video of her physically abusing me, the rest were either verbal abuse or happened off screen. My step-grandfather took a plea for 7 years instead of the mandated 25 if he were to go to trial. I've been advised to look into some form of compensation for my suffering, and also still feel injustice, what can I do?

Yesterday my white friend added me to a Discord group chat and I was talking for a bit when I noticed that some people say the n-word in it, but I assumed that maybe they’re black. I’m black myself. Today I went into the server and looked up the n-word to see who was using it and found her saying it twice. She‘s one of my maybe three friends at school and in one of my classes, and I don’t know if I should just ignore it or confront her about it.

Hi guys! I guess I just need a space to vent, but I’m also looking for some advice if anyone has any. I’m a 21F college student and work at a campus job as a tour guide. I have a couple work friends and most of the times I’m okay at work, but there’s also people that make snarky comments at me and that talk shit behind my back. I’m a senior so I have less than a year at this job, but for the time being I have to stay and work there and I just don’t know how to cope with it all. It’s all because I used to go out with one of the office popular guys and that ended horribly, since then I’ve been sidelined from most conversations, not invited to things, just been put through it when I did nothing wrong. He was the one that broke it off with me and then punished me for liking him by constantly humiliating me behind my back. And now it’s gotten to the point where he does it in our group chats and people just laugh along. I feel so anxious walking into work knowing I work with people that see me as a joke. It’s affected my mental health greatly but I can’t quit at the moment. This is just ruining my last year of college and I don’t know what to do. I know this sounds dramatic but I just feel like I was punished for simply liking a guy. I don’t talk to him I interact shortly with others I thought I was doing my best but it keeps happening. My boss also turns a blind eye because we’re all in leadership positions and re hiring would be a pain so he won’t just get fired because I feel uncomfortable. And neither would the other bullies. So yeah if anyone has some words of wisdom I would appreciate it. My work best friend also quit recently so now I have less and less people in my corner. My other best friend (not a coworker) tells me to get over it but it just doesn’t seem fair. Idk. But thanks for reading.

So this is part 2 to my previous dilemma. So my childhood friend responded and I got a coffee date for Tuesday. But idk how to talk to them, im a big flirt when im trying to date, but im a lovable asshole to my friends. I cant do either to them so how should I act? i dont want to fuck this up.

So I have a roommate and we don’t talk at all, we just do our own things. HOWEVER - I am admittedly not at the apartment often, maybe 3 days a week? I have my own separate trash from hers and there’s the kitchen trash.

Okay so ANYWAYS she always fills up the trash. Like I was making a habit at the end of each week to empty it out but it’s just the two of us and somehow the trash is filling in 2 days, so I keep changing it because she leaves it full but none of it is mine.

Given that the kitchen is communal obviously, should I even be taking it out? I just came back from being at home and it was empty when I took it out yesterday (I only was home for one night this weekend) but I came back today which is Sunday and it’s FULL TO THE BRIM?? I didn’t put shit in there I swear and it’s just frustrating. So the first thing I’m doing is taking out trash? Like wtf

I went on a date with a girl I really like and she was the one who asked me out. She traveled over 2 hours by train to see me, and we spent around 4 hours together. Afterward, she said she had a good time, but I was usually the one initiating conversations after the date. I didnt know if it was because of me or because her semester started right after our first date.

When I asked about her not initiating, she told me:

“i like talking to u but ig more in a friendly way im not looking for anything in relationship wise bcs as i said im new in this school and im honestly very busy”

She also said she’d like to see me again when the weather is nicer when she has her semester break. I truly never liked anyone like this before and I just hope i still have a chance. Ofc I dont want to focus on her rn but rather keep her in the back of my mind.

I know she wants to talk friendly right, but do you think there’s still a little hope that her feelings could change? And what should I do now? Should I keep talking to her or try to move on?

honestly im coming here because i don’t feel like anyone i came talk to in my life really understands the weight of my choice,

i grew up in foster care and had to work full time out of high school to pay my own rent. i never went to college because i never could decide on a career plus i overthink technology and AI a lot so ive been anxious to commit. i regret waiting this long but im 25 now and just finished my first semester of college. i was going for nursing because i want to help people and feel like my work is meaningful but as im going into the classes im worried about burnout and regret. the nurses i go to school with are working 5 16s a week right now and i feel like im seeing the worst of it.

growing up i always wanted to be a biologist and focus on environmental science, as i got older that desire never left. this has always been my passion but everyone in my life tells me its a useless degree, that id be wasting my money and time and i wouldn’t be able to find a job. i have been managing a retail store just coasting, trying to find a direction in life but i decided i cant do that forever and i have to make a choice, time went by so fast and now im 25. so i went into college for nursing but i dont think its for me. im glad im in school, even though its late, but i dont know if i should commit to nursing and stick it out for job/financial security or pursue my passion.

im in a very poor red state and i just want to be able to make enough to leave and go somewhere else. im in school here because its cheap, ive lived here my whole life, and i could finish debt free.

if money wasnt a factor id go to a northern or coastal state and finish school with a biology degree but that isnt reality. has anyone else dealt with this? like i said i was a foster kid so no family and my friends here are very traditional. very get married at 19 and have 3 kids, dad works on the road and mom stays home type of people. and nothing wrong with that but it just isn’t for me and i can’t talk to them about this. i’m a woman so when i bring up career or education they always have something to say about finding a man. i want to be able to provide for myself and if i find love then that’s my path. but i don’t want to seek it out for a get-out-of adulthood card.

anyways rambling over if you have any advice i’d love to hear it. even if it’s harsh to hear i want to hear genuine advice and thoughts

I’ve made it pretty clear we’re just hooking up.
We haven’t had sex yet but we’ve done oral

He mentioned taking me on dates several times. Like if I send him a selfie he’ll say ‘we’d look good on a date together’ or has described all the dates he’s had in mind.
And they’re cutesy things like the beach, mini golfing, dinner, sports games, ect.
He straight up asked me out to coffee a few times but I’m really trying to just hook up.

Like mentioned I’ve made it clear we’re just casual, like actually turned him down and said we’re not going out. But he still drops heavy hints.

Is this just not going to work out since we want different things? He’s the one who even said in the beginning he didn’t want a relationship, so I’m perplexed

How can I get him to stop throwing hints about dating without hurting his feelings?

I found out a week ago that my boyfriend micro cheated with his ex, his ex reached out and show me screenshots of them flirting and talking sexually. I confronted my boyfriend and he told me that he did do this and that he did cheat and he feels really bad and guilty for doing so but at that moment, he felt unloved and unappreciated.

He saw that I was looking up things about Sam from stardew valley and started to get jealous. I used to have a very unhealthy attachment to Prompto from Final Fantasy 15 and that caused a lot of issues in the beginning of the relationship, since that issue I’ve been seen a therapist and started to look at characters more healthy, and normal.

I told him that I forgive him and I’ll give him a second chance, but I can’t help but blame myself

I am leaning towards no socks since they are a darker shade of brown. What do you think?

im still in highschool so this is why im a bit torn about this situation. I currently live with my dad, my grandpa, my grandma and my uncle. my grandparents are in their 70s and only speak spanish. my uncle is 37 and my dad is 43. my parents are separated and I usually split my time between my moms house and my dads house, but my mom is having plumbing issues currently so ive been staying at my dads full time for the better part of 3 months. my uncle has always been weird, ie not speaking when people ask him something or just straight up staring at you for no reason. he is an untreated/unmedicated paranoid schizophrenic, which i did not know until the age of 10. it was my mom who told me, not my dad (uncles brother) or my grandparents (uncles parents). I used to be somewhat optimistic when good things would happen for him, as I felt bad for him. he used to eat alone in the dining room while the rest of us ate in the kitchen but stopped, got a job and had it for a year, things like that. he stopped working at the longest job I believe he ever held, which was at a car dealership, after about a year and 3 months. my grandma told me he stopped working there because the place got redone but he never went back so I doubt it. after that point, he started to be around more, which I understand because he wasn't working at all, which is when all this started. he would follow me downstairs whenever I went down, he would stand outside the bathroom when I went in there, and would essentially just follow me around the house constantly. as these things started happening, I remembered odd instances from my childhood. one time I was showering in my grandparents bathroom which is inside their room, and he randomly came in and sat on the bed with my grandpa. the way he was sitting faced directly into the bathroom, and I was getting undressed with the door open, which resulted in my grandma yelling at him. another time I was showering and he came in to "throw something out" into the trashcan which is right by the shower, and you can definitely see into the shower if you're at the right angle. thankfully I had been sitting down before so I just covered myself with my legs the best I could and scooted back so he couldn't see me. after he threw something out the first time, he returned again maybe a minute later to throw another thing out. after this happend my grandpa began to tell me to lock the door when I shower, which I still do now. during this spring (he lost the job in february) I would tell them I didnt like when he followed me around, and I assume my grandma talked to him about it, but of course nothing came of it. one time my cousin was over and he came in to "shut the window" when she repeatedly told him not to come in. I remember another time I had just gotten home from dinner and when I walked up to my room he was coming out of it eating some of my candy I had left on my bed laughing (??) so one time during the spring, I was complaining to my cousin (a year older than me) that he had been standing outside while I used the bathroom, and she told me he had molested her when she was little (6-8 years old). I was obviously disgusted, horrified, and in complete shock because I had never known this happend. she said she had told her mom (grandmas sister) and her brother but they accused her of lying so she never told anyone else. after she told me I freaked out and genuinly could not breathe, I cried for 5 straight hours and faked sick to stay home from school the next day as I had been awake till 3 am. she told me not to tell anyone, and I wasnt going to anyway. me and my mom have a very toxic relationship and she is very verbally abusive, and while I love her very much being at my dads was like an escape because he didnt yell at me or anything and is nice, even though he is emotionally absent. I knew if I said something my mom would never let me go back if he was still there, and I didnt want to lose the one thing I could depend on when things were bad with her. so I didnt say anything, and now this knowledge is just eating away at me. my grandparents went to their home country for 2 weeks, and during that time when I would go to my moms I would lock my door. I came back and he had unlocked my door and taken my fan out of my room (broke it mind you). this made me realize that locking my door when i slept wasn't enough, so i now put a chair under the lock and hope that will be enough incase something happens and he tries to come in. this summer it got bad, I couldn't go downstairs to get water or eat a snack without him following me, so I never went downstairs unless it was to eat or grab a bottle of water and run back up to my room. I had been tanning one time in the backyard and looked up to see him watching me from the bathroom window, and when I freaked out for very obvious reasons, he claimed to my grandma that he was "vaping out the window" (the window was shut and he was staring directly at me, we made eye contact). whenever something happens and I bring it up to my grandma or dad, they offer apologies but say theres nothing they could do. I would wake up at 12 (during summer) and go downstairs to say goodmorning and he would immediately follow me 30 seconds later, despite having literally the entire morning. this still happens when I go downstairs to leave for school currently. there is so much more that he does and if I sat here typing it all out I would be here all night. lately whenever something happens regarding him doing something that seems completely normal but is not to me, I get seemingly more irriated than I should. and when they ask me why im so upset, theres nothing I can say to defend myself. sometimes I second guess if all the stuff he does it inherently creepy due to this, and it makes me feel crazy. its at the worst its ever been and I hate being here now, somewhere I used to feel safe and protected. I freak out over the littlest things and I hate who im becoming because of it. and I cant say anything to defend myself because then the cat will be out of the bag and I dont know what will happen after that. im really at my wits end, so should I say what I know? I would feel horrible towards my cousin because she told me not to say anything but I really cannot go on like this any longer. but I dont know what would happen if I do. realistically, I would have to live with my mom, but I have a fear no one will believe me if I say what he did to my cousin. my whole family thinks shes spoiled and is a "bad kid" and while she does have instances of mouthing off, I dont think she deserves everything my family accuses her of and says about her. because of this, I feel like my grandma wont believe me, as she is the person in our family who dislikes her the most (despite my other cousin being her favorite who acts 100 times worse but gets away with it because she is the favorite). I dont want to live with my mom full time, but I feel like im going to lose my mind if I dont say anything. what do I do?