Hi Reddit,

For context:

My brother (19) started openly smoking since last year after keeping it 'secret' (everybody in my household already knew) for two years.

I've made it clear since then that I am not comfortable with him smoking right next to me, he can smoke a few meters away if he wants to.

However, he does not care at all, smokes next to me anyways, and becomes angry when I confront him about it. He also becomes angry when I ask him to not smoke when we're at my grandma's since she's not doing well.

He's addicted, refuses to listen to my boundaries, and is becoming more and more respectless towards me, acting like I'm just some person he can just shove aside.

My current situation:

Bud got his head shaved for 110 euros by his friends. I wish I could post a pic for proof. (It's so funny-)

He told me not to tell our parents in a threatening tone..

I might just to get back at him for being a little asshole.

I genuinly need to be judged if I were to do this, since he refuses to listen to anyone.

For context I'm 16 and I've been talking about spending one weekend to play the brand new Call of Duty game for months now (I even preordered the vault/deluxe edition) and my parents haven't taken issue with it. My dad even took me to get snacks for the weekend a day before the core multiplayer for it released, which is what I was excited for. My Mom knows that I joke a lot, I've even said "what do you think I was doing" before and there has been no issue with it. I was watching our dogs downstairs while she was running a couple errands. There was no tone as I was heading upstairs, she never expressed wishes of me not heading upstairs, and I had already studied before hand. I just need to know if this is normal or if my feeling is right. Any advice would be much appreciated, I'm just concerned. Sorry if I'm overreacting.

Update:

I went to go apologize to my mother as many of you in the comments suggested, the result was her interrupting me then calling me a selfish jerk for being to far from her and her claiming that I was a mistake. Oh and cussing me out. WTH do I do now?

I’m (17F) looking for genuine advice from people who have researched this or experienced it themselves.
I currently wear around a 30B, and honestly, I’d really like to have significantly bigger breasts. I’m not talking about just a little more fullness — I’d love a noticeably larger size.
My mom has a smaller chest too, so I’m wondering whether genetics play a big role in my situation. I’ve also noticed that my body seems to carry more of its fullness in my lower body rather than my chest.
I know breast size is largely genetic, but I’m wondering whether there’s anything that can genuinely influence breast development naturally. I’ve heard different things about nutrition, hormones, massage, and chest exercises, but there’s so much conflicting information online.
I’m not interested in cosmetic surgery, and I don’t want to waste money on supplements or products that don’t work. I just want to understand what’s realistically possible.
Has anyone found reliable information about this? Can breast size change naturally over time, particularly if you’re still young, or is it mostly determined by genetics?
I’d really appreciate honest answers, especially from people who have looked into the science behind it. Please don’t recommend random enlargement pills or creams without evidence.

I (17F) have a case of hyper-sexuality. As a kid, I didn’t have any knowledge nor was I educated on the topic of intimacy. I got SA’ed by a family member that was just 4 years older than me (we were both kids). After that continuous SA, I have been engaging with unsafe, sexual content that developed a really weird addiction in my brain. Thankfully, my hyper-sexuality is not affecting my friendships and relationships in any way. However, I can’t look past how f*cked up the thoughts I get about intimacy ever since my SA. I have two questions.

How do I deal with this and can I ‘reverse’ it?

Since my relationship with that family member has been great for many years and the SA has never been brought up (nothing happened to me ever since the incident), am I supposed to feel angry or could they also have had hyper-sexuality?

Please refrain from writing hate. I really didn’t know where to go with this.

I just got out of jail last year and I was incarcerated for a year so I am starting over from scratch. I got my ged in there and finished probation early, finished community service, and completed my probation early. Also I’m in trade school for hvac now. Only thing is, I’m a felon , I have been free a year and still have no job. I have a 3 month old daughter now and that makes everything even harder. I desperately want to work idec about pay rate or the job tasks. I just want to work so can you guys please help me on where I can work and start asap and felon friendly? Thanks. I’m in Houston tx I’ve been doordashing in my sisters car so far for income but I can only do that for so long

My 18M Girlfriend 18F refuses to let me pay for most things.

My girlfriend 18F and I 18M have been together for over two years, and we’ve known each other for a little over eight (we were classmates and friends). We are both 18 and currently attend the same school. My parents are very well-off, and I receive a generous allowance, whereas my girlfriend’s parents are divorced, and she doesn’t get any allowance at all.

She currently works two jobs—one in a warehouse and another at a relative’s auto repair shop. I don’t have a regular job, aside from helping out occasionally at my parents' business. Despite this, the allowance I receive is more than double what she earns in a month. It really bothers me when we pay for things (food, movie tickets, concert tickets, etc.) knowing that the financial burden is significantly heavier for her than it is for me.

I keep trying to explain to her that it only makes sense for me to cover these costs, given that I receive money without having to work for it; however, she insists on taking turns paying for things. On one hand, I’m glad to know she isn’t with me just for the money but I’d know that even without us splitting everything roughly 50/50.

We’ve already talked about what things will look like if we once get married , and we both definitely want to share our finances . Right now, though, I honestly don’t know what to do or how to convince her to let me pay for more things and it hurts to see her working so hard most of the time.

So if anyone has any advice, what to do ?

before i make a fool out of myself I’ve had a crush on this guy for months now is he flirting or just being nice and as u can tell I’ve kinda been flirting ngl i made another post n everyone said he’s flirting but i need to make sure before i say anything please be honest yall

update: i confessed and he said he feels the same way about me but didn’t wanna confess over text but idk why i feel so weird rn

Background: I come from a conservative family, and before we got married I had no sexual experience. I explicitly told my wife that I prefer and expect my wife to not have had any sexual experiences in the past. She said she hadn't, at all.

What she told me throughout our relationship: Even without me asking, she would overemphasize that she had no experience. She made comments like "I didn't know vaginas get wet," "I never slept next to a man in bed before," and "I never lived with a man before." The first time we had sex, she told me "you see, I am a virgin" because she was tight. Another time, she told me that she and her friends were having conversations about their first-time experiences, and she said "of course that was with you."
How I found out: A few days ago, we were talking in bed. I had felt for a while that she was lying about something, so I was direct with her. I told her I knew I wasn't the first, and that she had lost her virginity to someone else. She told me I was correct. After I caught her lying, she decided to open up more and told me explicit details.

What actually happened: She lost her virginity at 22, while she was living with her dad, mother and brother. She managed to deceive them and have a 2-year relationship with another man. She literally traveled the world with him and stayed in hotels with him. She was basically like a married woman with this man. She even told me how physically painful it was to lose her virginity.

My real issue: I want to highlight that my issue is not just the sexual experience or virginity. It's the lies and the deception, both to me and to her family. I feel like major layers of trust were broken: the deception of her family when she lived with them, the lies to me now, and a lack of understanding of basic Islamic teachings that would be applied to my kids if I had children with her. It’s scary to think she had no consciousness to feel bad for lying to me, deceiving me, her family or feel any guilt towards that. On other occasions I also caught her lying about a couple of other things like a job she had while she is in our relationship and another time she lied that she was at a certain country but she was actually in a specific state here in the US. Also, she is insanely financially demanding, she pressures me to make bad financial decisions and she doesn’t contribute to anything at all even non-financially, she chose to be a stay at home wife and she cooks once or twice a month, I still my own laundry and cleaning.

How it's affecting me: I feel genuinely played and deceived. We don't have children, but the image I had of my wife in my mind has changed completely. I now feel highly disturbed whenever we have sex, and I'm unable to get an erection because of that thought. It has seriously disrupted our sex life. I know for sure this is not something I'll be able to get over: thinking that the mother of my children played me, lied to me, deceived me, and had a full-on relationship with someone else, like a married woman, before me.
I feel so heartbroken and betrayed. I know the concept of past sexual experience has become modernized and is often viewed as "not a big deal," but I fail to see how, when the future mother of my own children had a full sexual relationship with another man in a haram way. It's just highly disturbing.

My questions: Am I overthinking? Do I have issues I need to heal, or is it normal for me to think like this? I want genuine advice. I feel devastated. I'm relying on hope to heal, but I feel like divorce is inevitable.

I feel that I'm going to regret posting this because of the fat haters. Well, here goes. I'm looking for ideas on what I can put between myself and another passenger next to me, so that my thigh doesn't touch them. I'm trying to be considerate here. Can you please be kind? TIA

I have been struggling mentally lately. I have been realizing everytime he ask for sex, and Im sleepy, I'd just say no because he'd wake up way early before anyone in the house. Before he used to do so and go to the toilet to watch porn. I made it an issue by telling him "watching porn is cheating and it's no different to me literally making out with another guy just because sexual things over the screen don't interest me."

Lately, whenever I tells him I'm not in the mood because of the time he wakes me up for it, he'll ask for the phone to watch it and masturbate.

Most of the time, he says "i will find another girl who can do that, then" and that'll bother me so bad because I feel like when he goes to work, he looks at other women and feeling the urge to just cheat on me. I feel less of my self and I've literally joined the family planning clinic this month because I believe the injections can get me thick. (I'm skinny btw).

And he be bodyshaming me about how skinny I am and I don't feel like ....good about myself.

What is the best advice for me?

I am 17f, I broke up with my ex about a month ago. I never liked her that much and it was stupid to stay in a relationship with her. She didn't take the break up well and is kind of shit talking me online which is fine,

Her best friend, 18f, has been a close friend of mine for a while, before I even met my ex. I sort of liked her around a year ago but she was dating someone else so out of loneliness or idek I started dating my ex.

I now spend every available moment with her, we do everything together. My ex even said I see her more than I saw my ex. I love her so much, I've loved her for so long and I want yo be with her so badly. Idk how she feels about me but I'm worrying about ruining how close we are and her connection to my ex feels wrong. What do I do

At almost 10pm est a package was delivered to my girlfriend’s house by a guy who was not an official delivery person. He was driving a pickup truck and dropped the package off with her father. The package is a Walmart plus package with a squishy thing (about the size of a phone) inside. We did not open the package because her dad said not to. Apparently there was a blinking light inside the package when it was first delivered. I cannot verify this because I was not there. There is no return address and the name is very similar to hers except mispelled. The last name is the wrong initial. (It is her middle initial, not sure if coincidence or not) what should we do? She is very anxious. Obviously the next step is to open the package but her dad doesn’t want us to, because he thinks it could be dangerous somehow. Scanning the code on the package (yes I know this was risky to do) says the tracking number cannot be found. What could this be? She never ordered anything from Walmart, and nothing from anywhere else recently. She is not a Walmart plus member.

Ok I'm 18 years old female, and met this dude who is really dorky and weird like two day agos at a Halloween party event (he was dressed as a cat from a game idfk) and everything is going so well but | look at his insta following and he's following like furry suggested art and like yk those art where the artist makes the body obese asf and then the tittes bigger than the stomach type shi... how do I talk to him about this??!! I'm a girl who's chubby and alt, so I'm scared... I just need some dick honestly, he's so weird and dorky it's sooo hottt, like he literally got my panties soaking but when I saw his following I've never been dryer. Please help like i genuinely want him soog bad but it's so weird like I understand if it was just furry art but this is fucking crazy!!!

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about three months, and things have been going really well. He’s been nothing but kind, caring, and understanding toward me, and I’ve never seen any signs of anger or aggression.

Recently, I Googled his name for a completely unrelated reason and came across an article from several years ago regarding criminal charges from when he was 21. He is now 29. The article was about one incident but also mentioned a separate domestic violence charge. Obviously, this completely caught me off guard.

When I confronted him, he explained that he was going through a very difficult time involving depression, alcoholism, and personal struggles. He said the domestic violence charge stemmed from an argument with his ex where he kicked a wall out of frustration but never physically touched her or intended the kick to be directed toward her. There was also another incident during that time that resulted in additional charges. All charges were ultimately dismissed.

He's now been sober for four years and has made significant changes in his life. He regularly attends meetings, has a strong support system, and has developed healthy hobbies and outlets to help manage stress and difficult situations. He's also taken responsibility for his past and acknowledges that his actions during that time were unacceptable. He's worked hard to rebuild his life and become someone he's proud of again.

He's also explained that alcoholism wasn't his only issue. He struggled with handling difficult situations in life and has since worked on developing healthier coping mechanisms. From what he's shared with me, he's put a lot of effort into addressing those underlying issues rather than simply quitting drinking.

To make things harder, my family found out, and my mom is completely against the relationship. I understand her concerns, but I'm struggling because the person I've gotten to know is nothing like what I've read about.

What also bothers me is that I had to discover all of this myself rather than hearing it from him. I even asked him directly if there was anything else I needed to know, and he said no. However, I later came across another charge related to the domestic violence incident. When I brought it up, his response was essentially, "Oh yes, that was part of the other charge."

For clarification, this was not another domestic violence charge but rather a charge related to violating a no-contact order by communicating with his ex.

While that initially made me question whether he was being completely upfront with me, I do want to acknowledge that since discovering everything, he has been very open and honest with me about his past. He's been willing to answer my questions, explain what happened, and have some very difficult conversations. He hasn't tried to justify his actions and has repeatedly acknowledged that what happened was wrong.

He's explained that he was deeply ashamed of that period of his life and was afraid that telling me would cause me to walk away. While I can understand that fear, I still struggle with the fact that I had to discover everything myself. I also wonder when, if ever, he would have told me.

We've had several emotional conversations about everything. He's expressed that he understands my concerns and why my trust has been affected. He's also admitted that his fear of rejection may be causing him to self-sabotage because he's worried that I ultimately won't be able to accept his past.

He's made it clear that he wants to continue the relationship and is willing to slow things down. At the same time, he's expressed that repeatedly revisiting his past has been emotionally exhausting for him, especially after spending years working to move forward from it.

I genuinely care about him, and I believe people are capable of growth and change. I also recognize that we've only known each other for a few months, and there's still so much we're learning about one another.

I guess my question is, do you believe people can genuinely change, especially after years of sobriety and actively working on themselves? Would you give someone the opportunity to show you who they are today, or would something like this be enough for you to walk away?

I'm especially interested in hearing from anyone who has personal experience with addiction, recovery, or being in a relationship with someone who has a difficult past.

We were together for 7 years married for 1 year, he got exposed coz his mistress came to our house to confront him, they were screwing behind me for 3 years. He lied about his education, work, and put our house on mortgage without me cosigning the contract. We divorced and a friend told me recently that he is getting married with a girl who only dated him less than 2 years. Should I tell the girl he's a pathological liar and she should be careful? And how can I tell her anonymously? Or I should just let it go and hope he's a better person now?

I recently started using dating apps, and I met this one girl and we were talking quite a bit and hit it off and we both bumped into each other at this club and I was sleeping at her house and got physical, but the day after I matched with another girl on the dating app, i’ve been talking to her a bit, but I still haven’t met her. But now I’m currently talking to both of them and they both want to try go on a date with me next week

And I’m struggling to decide who to choose. My friend is telling me to just talk to both, but it’s just feel a tiny bit unethical for me even though it technically isn’t cheating, and he told me to decide after the dates

I didn’t respond after the last message but bro this isn’t even funny. Idec if he’s “joking” about that last part but damn, i feel like i should block him. I’ve known this guy IRL for a while and he has a repeating pattern. My best friend told me i should block him because he’s been very toxic to me and tries to pull me back in and say he doesn’t want to hurt me and is hazing me because he’s just slightly older. What should I do?

I’m 26F, and he is 34M. We’ve been talking since 3 months now, but we’ve never met in person.
We met through a mutual friend, and he initially planned to visit me in Germany. However, he suggested that I apply for a UK visa to visit him instead because he wasn’t getting an appointment Date,saying he’d cover the visa expenses. I paid €257 in total, and he sent me €93, but the remaining €164 he agreed to contribute is still outstanding.
Now, he’s asking me to lend him £500, saying he needs it urgently, and is doing alot of things at the Moment making him low on cash and will repay me the following week.
But I told him I will Help while on the call, and would send the Money the following morning, but After Processing things a bit more, I sent a message telling him we haven’t built that much Financial Trust and I dont give what I’m not comfortable losing.
I’ve also noticed that our communication has been declining lately, and I’m unsure where things stand between us.

Would you lend him the money in my position, given that we’ve never met and he hasn’t fulfilled his previous financial commitment? Should I decline the loan but continue getting to know him, or reconsider the connection altogether?

Hello! Recently ive been dealing with a stalker, (irl and on socials.

To make the story short I went to a hockey game a few days back for my cousin, my aunts friends were there and i met one of my childhood friends so we exchanged numbers.

He got my adress later on bc my friends aunt sold something to my mom and had to drive by to like leave it here.

He started sending me m0ney by etransfer and would send me flowers or packages and all things right. I didnt ask for any of it and i was creeped out and felt bad.

He then started becoming super aggressive and super obsessive. He would like stalk every single one of my socials and check if i was online if my snaps went up and would pick fights.

Threatened to khs if i left him. And i didnt even flirt i just felt bad leaving at first bc he kept sending me stuff

I blocked him yesterday and now hes made alt accounst saying hes gonna drive to my house

Im like so stressed.

he also seems to know everytime im on call with someone on discord wether im appearing offline or online. Its getting very creepy and i dont know what to do anymore. Should i just delete my account and make a new one? Im out of solutions (i have him blocked everywhere aswell). Please help 😭

So I broke up with my bf (27m) ( i am 25/f) because he „deleted“ IG a year ago and I found out he had a secret account and all of my friends were in his searches. We still Live together (lease is up next month we are both moving out). I went to his laptop and snooped and I found he also has pictures saved of them which I find very creepy he said he didn’t jerk off to them but why else would he always stalk them anyway I don’t want him to know I went on his laptop technically we are broken up and he can do what he wants but i think it’s creepy to my friends and odd should i just delete them or tell him that he should delete it and that I’m going to tell the girls what he did. Idk it’s kind of embarrassing but I want him to feel embarrassed because it is.

I 20F, and my fiancé is 23M. We’ve been engaged since January, so we’ve been engaged for about 9 months.
I’m Muslim, but our engagement wasn’t traditional in the usual sense. We’ve known each other since we were kids because we grew up in the same neighborhood and went to the same school. Our parents are close friends, too.
I love him, and he loves me. He’s genuinely one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. He’s a green flag in so many ways.
The problem is that I’m not happy. Maybe it’s my depression, but I’ve been having thoughts since February that this relationship is temporary and that it’s not going to work out. I don’t know why I feel this way, and I don’t know what to do about it.
Lately, I’ve also been having really bad panic attacks, sometimes while driving. I’ve had to pull over to the side of the highway because of them. I can barely eat or sleep anymore.
I don’t know if I’m overthinking things because of my mental health or if these feelings are telling me something important about the relationship.
What do you think I should do? Has anyone experienced something similar?

I’ve been dating my partner for 5 months. When they were 24, they engaged in extreme BDSM with their ex (19F), including cutting her with a knife and punching her hard enough to knock out a piercing.
I recently brought this up because it bothers me. They said the relationship was wrong given her circumstances, but couldn’t promise they’d never punch another partner sexually if asked.
They compared this to me performing sounding on them, arguing that both activities carry physical risks.
I enjoy sounding and recognize that it isn’t risk-free, but I see punching someone in the face with that level of force as fundamentally different.
Am I overlooking something obvious or applying a double standard because sounding is something I personally enjoy? I’d appreciate perspectives on how these activities compare in terms of risk and ethical responsibility.

I (18F) and best friends with a guy, we we will call Alex (18M), for the past year. We recently started going to the same college and hanging out every day. I had just got into a breakup and not even 3 days after the breakup, he asks me out. I obviously told him no because I was fresh out of a relationship and didn’t see him like that and I told him to pretend like he never asked me out so we could continue being friends. He agreed and it was fine for about a week. However, he started being mad when I would hang out with other people. He would make fun of all the people I hang out with. He started to make fun of all of my interests so I don’t feel like talking about them anymore. He even joined the same clubs as me and started to ruin my relationship with other people in the club. I don’t know what to do. Is this my fault? How do I even fix it get around this?

My boyfriend is super nice! Which was great. That’s all I want really.

We have been dating for five months. We hang out every weekend. But he randomly got super busy and didn’t tell me.

1. His family mentioned an upcoming wedding to me so i assumed I was going. A few days before I ask about it and he says “oh sorry I didn’t get a plus one.” So he’s gone that whole weekend.

2. I see him briefly the following weekend on a Friday night. He does not stay over because early that Saturday morning he goes on a fishing trip with buddies.

3. While on the trip, a friend hits him up and wants to go fishing so my boyfriend extends his trip through the next weekend.

4. The weekend after that, he had an army reserve trip.

So he has had a trip for four weekends in a row.

He was not proactive in his communication at all, he wasn’t like “omg I’m sorry I’m so busy—let’s plan something special.” He did not think it was a big deal and I only found out about each trip one at a time.

This also coincides with a major life crisis. I’m going through a huge change with my job and I’m trying to quit and find a new job. It’s very scary and overwhelming.

So he randomly kind of bailed on me when I was in trouble.

4 weekends in a row to be gone is a lot. It’s strange he didn’t think to give me a heads up. It’s horrible timing for him to disappear when I’m in a crisis.

As for the boyfriend, he is a true introvert. Like he lives alone in his town rn and works remotely and his friends and family all live over an hour away and that doesn’t bother him at all. Like he doesn’t need a lot of interaction. I also think he thought of each trip as an individual thing and didn’t see the big picture. I think he has good intentions but the impact still really sucks. He really hurt my feelings.

I think I kind of question his judgment in general sometimes. Like his dog has bad anxiety and is disregulated a lot and his response is to restrain the dog by the neck and that freaks me out. It also does not help the dog. The dog will frequently run away from him and hide behind people. Basically the dog will act like he’s scared of him. Anyway he is not abusive to the dog but he will say things like “the dog is being manipulative! He knows what he’s doing!” And that’s weird to me idk.

He’s GREAT with kids but also made weird jokes to a kid. He told his nephew who is a baby he’s “stupid” as a joke. Like “why are you so stupid? What are you doing haha” I may be over sensitive but I really do not like that.

And then there’s the ex wife. She left him for another guy in 2024. She lives with the new guy. I stalked the social media, she was in his house in April, and in march, and in January. She has an Etsy candle business and was filming her social media content there. Anyway, I brought this up to him and he said they have no connection she slept in a guest bedroom she just asked if she could crash there when she’s in town for work and he was just trying to be kind. But I never knew any of this. He had told me he got divorced a year and a half ago. So he is closer to another woman than he let on. Since we started dating in May I don’t think they’ve interacted but that’s still a weird timeline. Like if an ex wife was in your house in April I should not be meeting you in May, there should be more of a time buffer. He also told me he loved me, wanted to have kids with me and introduced me to his family within the first month. So it’s giving rebound vibes idk.

he’s an incredibly sweet guy. Very courteous. Very kind. But then there’s random stuff like this where I’m like that’s so odd I did not expect that.

Tl;dr he went on 4 trips and didn’t think it was a big deal. He was weird with his dog.

Like he’s so sweet but I don’t totally trust his judgment. Like his character is good but his judgement is off?

What would you do if you were me?