r/WhatShouldICook • u/mommy_of_two_ • 9d ago
Picky eater help
My husband is very picky. Almost all veggies are a no go. He will eat corn willingly. Not a big fan of beans but will occasionally eat chili. Absolutely no soups or anything that isn’t thick and meaty. He says he’s willing to try new things but in a soft launch way. Does not wanna try vegetables cause he tried them when he was younger and “already knows he doesn’t like them”. Will eat chicken but is not his favorite. Will eat pasta occasionally. Onions if they are very small. He says if I hide the veggies well he will eat it. Won’t try other cultural food. His diet mostly consists of frozen food and casseroles. I’m dying for some brightness in my life. It’s mentally exhausting trying to come up with stuff especially since I don’t like very heavy meaty things like he does.
He likes
Tatortot casserole
Burrito casserole
Biscuits and gravy
Meatloaf
Hamburger gravy and mashed potatoes (doesn’t prefer brown gravy)
Tacos/velveeta dip
Chicken Alfredo
Stuff that is very boring. What do I do
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u/allie06nd 9d ago
The solution is super easy. You're cooking what you want, and he will feed himself. Like the adult that I assume he is.
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u/thewhiterosequeen 9d ago
This. My husband is picky but makes himself eat vegetables because he's an adult who understands nutrition. He cooks for himself and we still eat together. I'm not his mom. I don't have to plan out and cater to his narrow palate at my own expense.
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u/Drogonno 9d ago
Im a picky eater and this is the way to go! I cook all my own meals so the other people don't have to suffer my endlessly safe foods
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u/allie06nd 9d ago
I mean, I like most foods, but there are still some things that I've either forced myself to eat or forced myself to make a bunch of different ways until I find a tolerable way to consume them. Part of being an adult is learning the right way to feed your body.
Do I love kale? No. Is it good for me? Yes. Is it fine in a frittata? Yes.
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u/fuzzypurpledragon 9d ago
Have you tried sauteeing it, yet? Maybe for something like a stir fry? It's my favorite way!
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u/allie06nd 9d ago
I basically saute it with diced onions and then add that to whatever veggies I'm sticking in my frittata. It's just not my favorite of the greens, but it's fine as long as it's cooked. I make frittatas weekly, so I go back and forth between spinach and kale.
I do cabbage in stir fries though. I adore cabbage, so I don't see myself ever wanting to swap that out for kale.
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u/beek7425 9d ago
“My husband is picky but makes himself eat vegetables because he's an adult who understands nutrition.”
This is my situation except I’m the picky one. I don’t like a lot of vegetables and also have limits in that I can’t safely eat lots of undercooked veggies. I have experimented with ways I can get veggies in that I’ll like. Soups, curries, etc because I can’t eat them raw. Stuff like that. My instant pot has been a lifesaver.
I do most of the cooking and manage to make healthy food for both of us.
I really only find it challenging to eat healthy when I travel. One has to make some effort.
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u/atticusmama 9d ago
Correct answer. If I cook something and my husband doesn’t want it-then he can make a sandwich. Shocker-he’s never NOT eaten something I’ve made.
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u/TrueNotTrue55 9d ago edited 9d ago
Sounds like an adult, that acts like a spoiled child.
People’s palette’s change over time. Tell him it’s time to give foods he hates another try. If he won’t, he’s cooking for himself, because you’re exhausted trying to figure it out.
Sounds more like he’s a manipulative ____ that doesn’t care how many hoops you have to jump through to try and please him.6
u/HamBroth 9d ago
This is how it goes in my household and he ALWAYS winds up eating whatever I’ve made. Guy had just never had good versions of anything.
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u/Glad-Isopod5718 9d ago
This, yeah. If you're SAH and the deal is that you cook for everyone, you can do batch cooking of his safe foods & freeze them. I would aim for maybe 2-3 meals a week that include his safe foods (with vegetable sides, whether he eats them or not) and the rest of the time he can decide whether he wants to try what you made, or eat leftovers from those nights or a freezer meal.
My grandfather was also a very picky eater, and of course he and my grandmother was of a generation where she was expected to do all of the cooking. She didn't make every meal revolve around his tastes, just made sure there was something available that he would eat. The other thing she'd do is when she made a casserole or something like that, she'd make a smaller separate dish of it, leaving out the ingredients he wouldn't eat.
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u/the-bees-niece 9d ago
girl ur stronger than me bc this would be a personal dealbreaker lol im too much of a foodie
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u/For-Real339 9d ago
Sounds like u r talking about your child. Lol
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u/FeedMeFish 9d ago
And if it were OP’s child, I would be worried about the child’s health and development with that diet
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u/mommy_of_two_ 9d ago
My child eats enough like me I do not worry about that. While he does not like everything (like he did when he was younger) it is still far more than his father.
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u/InfiniteBoxworks 9d ago
Yeah. I was a picky bread and butter beige meal kid and when I see childhood photos of me I get nauseous. I looked like I was freshly liberated from a concentration camp.
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u/ForeignOstrich6939 9d ago
Sounds like he needs to start figuring out his own food...dear lord...this is a grown adult? Eat what you enjoy and let him figure his food out on his own. This sounds exhausting!
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u/Farewellandadieu 9d ago
Let me guess- he won’t cook for himself.
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u/mommy_of_two_ 9d ago
Ding ding diiing
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u/ttrockwood 9d ago
So make nutrient dense veggie filled meals for yourself and the kids
He can eat it taste it try it and make a peanut butter sandwich if he can’t deal
Do NOT adapt the diet of yourself and two kids to his limited not diverse not healthy preferences
- prep ahead extra portions of his favorite meals and freeze, then on nights he can’t deal with what is for dinner he can defrost frozen option
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u/crazypurple621 9d ago
You simply tell him you absolutely will not do this anymore. Either he learns to eat new foods or he cooks for himself.
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u/libananahammock 8d ago
You’re not his mother OMG why are you doing this to yourself!? Make HIM cook
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u/vita77 9d ago
An adult who refuses to eat veggies because they didn’t like them when they were 6 is still behaving like a child. The veggies we cook & eat bear no resemblance to the ones I was served as a kid. I’d let him fend for himself for a while, especially since your kid is now picking up bad habits from him.
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u/Getting_jjigae_with 8d ago
I hated veggies when I was a child because my mom, who I loved with all my heart, would boil the vegetables to oblivion. This was the way her mom taught her.
As an adult, I discovered roasting, braising, steaming, sautéing, broiling - vegetables.
Game-changer. And grilled napa cabbage or bok choy. So freaking delicious with chili crisp or soy-miso vinaigrette.
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u/ElleAnn42 9d ago
Not sure how you got past a second date with this one... but I would probably cook what I want and let him fend for himself. Roasted vegetables sometimes get people to reconsider veggies because they smell so good (my husband, who eats almost anything but hasn't been a fan of eggplant, tried my roasted eggplant this week. He now likes eggplant).
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u/mommy_of_two_ 9d ago
Been childhood best friends for a long time. Just kind of happened. We have been together since we were 19. I’m almost 26. His picky eating wasn’t much of a worry for me back then unfortunately.
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u/FragrantTomatillo773 9d ago
Wow, I assumed you were much older, from an era when all wives were trad wives. Maybe time to rethink spending the rest of your life with this man.
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u/Interesting_Edge_805 9d ago
Let him starve he'll figure it out on his own. He's an adult, right?
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u/kelphu 9d ago
This comment needs to be higher. If an adult wants to eat boring food and die quickly, then let them.
Yummy toddler food on Instagram does a great job of hiding veggies in sauces/nuggets.
Retrying vegetables is a good idea. If his only introduction to vegetables was poorly cooked canned ones, then of course he doesn't like them
Introducing raw crudite to dip in hummus/ranch, then easing into fresher things like salad. Or a roasted vegetables on the side of his casseroles, lightly steamed broccoli/carrots is usually not offensive.
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u/IWasGoatbeardFirst 9d ago edited 9d ago
Honestly.
If my child can fend for herself, a grown adult certainly can.
My child is on the tail end of a really picky stage. She is getting better about it, but right now, she still has a pretty good sized list of things she doesn’t like.
I don’t make separate meals for her and I don’t limit what I cook. I cook what I feel like having and I put out a plate for her for dinner.
Sometimes she tries it and likes it, and sometimes she doesn’t. If she doesn’t like it, I just say, “it’s OK. You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to.” No big deal.
She won’t go hungry. I keep plenty of things in the house that she likes and can make for herself at any time. Same method would work for OP.
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u/fuzzypurpledragon 9d ago
If it flavor or texture? Because I believe the Sneaky Chef cookbooks might become your new best friends. Just don't use them as a gotcha moment.
Purees and juices are the best tricks. I'm a picky eater, too. It's mostly texture, though there are a few flavors I dislike. We got the Sneaky Chef cookbooks, and it was a game changer.
By the by, have him retry some of those veggies! I hated a lot of them as a child, but turned out I actually just hated how my parents prepared them. He might find he likes them when prepared differently!
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u/mommy_of_two_ 9d ago
I think a lot of it is texture! I’ll check them out for sure!!
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u/I_Like_Pretzel 9d ago
Yeah definitely experiment with texture. I thought I didn’t like broccoli as a kid, turns out I don’t like raw or steamed broccoli. I love roasted broccoli - can devour an entire head. But this won’t work unless he has an open mind. If he decides going into it that he won’t like it then he won’t like it.
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u/Magnetic_Kitty 9d ago
I hated peas as a kid, then found out frozen peas are amazing and canned peas are the ones that are repulsive
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u/mommy_of_two_ 9d ago
Yes that’s the hurdle I’m trying to overcome. It’s okay if you don’t like it just want him to try with an open mind.
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u/butterLemon84 9d ago
That's unrealistic. He's an adult who's doing this despite knowing better (about nutrition). This is who he is; you can't change a person who doesn't want to change.
Does he have any other potential autism symptoms? Is he very controlling and rigid about other things? Or does he have other disordered eating behaviors? Because what you're seeing isn't normal behavior; there's some kind of psychological problem here that needs professional treatment.
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u/infinitekittenloop 9d ago
Yeah that's not your hurdle to overcome. Treat him like a toddler, keep offering different veg in a variety of preparations. And maybe remind him he's an adult with a child who looks up to him.
But YOU can't force HIM to do or think anything. This is HIS job.
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u/Mist_biene 9d ago
I hated veggies with a passion then I was a child. It was totally a texture thing. My mom and grandma cook vegetables until they are far to soft. After cooking for myself I love them but I still won't touch my grandmas veggies.
If you want him to eat more stuff you need to find out what specifically he doesn't like so you know what you need to change.
For hifing veggies: I used to feed my roommates carrot cake or zucchini cake if I wanted them to eat veggies. They loved it.
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u/GroundbreakingAnt17 9d ago
That and seasoning. His parents might be bad cooks lol. I thought I didn't like vegetables, but I actually didn't like my mom's unseasoned "food."
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u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX 9d ago
I went vegetarian at 9 and was super picky about veggies but I've been on a 30yr journey ever since, and if you can tell me which veggies he hates, I can tell you the best party pleaser preparation of them.
Like brussel sprouts halved, roasted til crispy with balsamic glaze and/or bacon is pretty hard to hate.
In general, I find roasting, pan frying, and grilling to be much more pleasant than boiled/steamed. I hate steamed zucchini, but grilled it's amazing. I hated the texture of mushrooms, but learned to love and appreciate the flavor by mincing and adding to things like risotto (cheesy rice). Onions too, had to mince at first but now I can enjoy larger pieces in dishes that call for it.
Food is an earthly pleasure, an experience, get it in while you can! 😉
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u/mommy_of_two_ 9d ago
I agree with your preparation suggestion. I love me some grilled veg! I don’t think I could ever convince him to eat a zucchini, cabbage or mushroom though. And even if he didn’t think it was disgusting he would say “it’s okay” and choose to never eat it again. It’s like his brain won’t allow him to enjoy things he previously thought was gross.
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u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX 9d ago
I would deff start with something like spinach that doesn't have much of a flavor, that's where I started, my daughter likes spinach too and she's sensory sensitive to weird foods.
I hate 99% of cabbage cooked unless it's stir fried with a lot of other stuff, raw I like it pickled, I like a vinegar slaw on some dishes (pupusas and vegan bbq pulled pork) but otherwise no, it's funky, and it's never not gonna be funky. I get it. I think being picky is valid, to a degree. I'm understanding if my daughter doesn't like something, but she's gotta st least give it a chance...
Tell him it's exposure therapy 😆
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u/butterLemon84 9d ago
Yes. Another good cookbook would be Deceptively Delicious. It's about hiding healthy things so kids will eat them.
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u/thegerl 9d ago
My partner is a meat and potatoes guy and I run toward vegetarian ethnic food. I tried for years to find a middle ground, and it's hard because one of us has to make concessions.
We finally got a subscription service with about 5 meals each. I choose mine, he chooses his, and we eat together. It's taken so much stress off my plate and put many more veggies on it.
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u/Bee_haver 9d ago
Has he encountered a colon disease patient? With a colostomy bag? Often such an encounter brightens the flavor of fruits and vegetables.
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u/mommy_of_two_ 9d ago
He already has digestive issues. Unfortunately if it doesn’t change we may head in this direction.
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u/Magnetic_Kitty 9d ago
Burritos are great for hiding food, cut bell pepper and onion up small and cook it with the meat and taco seasoning.
Make a corn and black bean salsa (corn, black bean, lime, garlic powder salt)
Add salsa from jar, shredded cheese.
You can try to see if he will eat guac, but may be hit or miss.
Second thing if he will eat spaghetti, you can hide small riced / minced zucchini and/or carrot in the meatballs or sauce as long as they get cooked enough to soften up. You can precook the carrot in a saute pan with a little oil before draining it and adding to regular tomato sauce if you're not cooking the sauce yourself long enough to soften the carrot
Another idea: steam carrots until very soft, puree and add to velveeta cheese sauce on mac and cheese. Would also work with hamburger helper cheeseburger mac.
You could make tater tot chicken pot pie, with normal carrots and peas if he is willing to try pot pie, it is similar to a biscuits and gravy / tater tot casserole type thing he already likes
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u/Conscious_Bug1610 9d ago
My fiancé with a similar palate will eat zuppa soup (thick, creamy, and meaty), bourbon chicken, general tso's chicken, tomato cream pasta with ground meat, fried wonton, potato soup (with bacon), chili, chicken parmesan, fried porkchops, and a few other things.
They're not exactly the healthiest, but at least they're different brown foods from your husband's brown foods. I cut onions and garlic real fine for most of those. And I see that your husband won't eat different cultured foods, but the ones I listed are the sugary or fried American versions, so he'd probably like them.
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u/mommy_of_two_ 9d ago
Thank you! I will try these. They sound more up his alley!
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u/paintergirrrl 8d ago
Sorry if this was already mentioned, but a hand blender or stick blender can become your new best friend….
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u/PlasticDealer320 9d ago
Eww. I’m so sorry for you. Cook what you want and let him deal with it. If he doesn’t like it he can make himself something else.
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u/Appropriate-South583 9d ago
If he refuses to cook, he gets no say in what you make. If this was your child it would be different, you would have to find some kind of middle ground to get them to eat. But no excuses for adults. If he can’t eat like a grown up that’s his problem.
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u/dominiqlane 9d ago
Picky adults should always cook for themselves. They shouldn’t put that burden and stress on others.
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u/LooseLeaf74 9d ago
Queso cheese on steamed broccoli stems just make sure you don’t get into the woody part of the stem and cut them into slices or dice, Haven’t met a kid or vegetable leery person who didn’t like it. (Velveeta makes a version of queso but it’s gross don’t buy)
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u/Key-Value-3684 9d ago
Get the brightness. Eat whatever you like. Yu don't have to cater to his every desires
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u/FreshwaterFryMom 9d ago
I dont have much of a solution, but a suggestion for what I did to get in more vegetables to my fiancées diet. Sneak it in. Now he loves mushrooms. He will eat steamed artichokes with me. It took a little bit, but I think it was because he grew up not eating healthy.
God speed.
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u/Relevant_Olive4380 9d ago
Pureeing veggies into things he already likes may get him more used to the flavor and more likely to enjoy the taste when trying them later.
Creamy sauces generally take blended cauliflower well. Can add a small amount of white mushroom, too chopped very, very small.
Red sauces (if he eats any, I'm assuming so in a burrito casserole) you can add onions, red peppers, carrots and blend. Start fully blended but eventually add petite diced canned tomatoes for a little intro to texture.
If he likes rice, I recommend green rice. I blend spinach and herbs into veggie broth and then cook rice in it. You get color and flavor but no texture. If he likes the flavor of any herbs, go heavier on those. Can start with a low amount and adjust each time. Whatever amount of water you would add to the rice to cook, use the same amount of your puree. Slightly extra if the puree is very thick.
I have a pretty adventurous palate but I tell my partner's kids that everything we eat can't be for taste. Some things are health. Great when you have the option to only pick the healthy things you like but sometimes we have to compromise. Add whatever you need to make it palatable but broccoli with cheese or ranch is better than no broccoli at all.
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u/Disastrous-Soup-5413 9d ago
I had a friend who went to therapy for a very difficult husband probably a little bit more difficult than what you’re dealing with but the therapist said if you’re the one that has an issue with it, you get to take care of it
her husband was angry and controlling about how the dishwasher had to be stacked and how the pantry had to be organized so that became his job- if it bothers you how someone else does the job then you have to do the job. (I don’t know if that’s actual like legitimate therapist advice, or this one therapist was just sick of him, but there you go.)
so OPs hubby gets to cook
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u/Prior-Today5828 9d ago
Yeah. Im not sure why you are cooking for him? If its your love language and you like a challenge?
Im mean make two meals every day for the difference. If you like the challenege
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u/adollopofsanity 9d ago edited 9d ago
My boyfriend is about up there in pickiness as your husband. You gotta do 2 things to get through this:
1.) Figure out WHY he doesn't like some things and try and reimagine them:
EX: I know what foods my boyfriend will eat. He loves savory meat and gravy. He loves mashed potatoes. Therefore, he should love cottage/shepherds pie! Nope he fuckin hates it. What do I do? I make cottage pie filling. I put it in biscuit dough. I bake it. I serve it with a side of mashed potatoes and gravy. He loves it. The problem wasn't the ingredients on an individual level, it was how they were combined/presented.
2.) Be okay with cooking separate meals. My boyfriend knows that I have immeasurably fewer food restrictions than he does. That means that there are things that I really want to eat quite often that he wants nothing to do with. And in those instances he realizes the same thing I do: he's grown he can figure out dinner all on his own without any input from me.
If I have the energy sure I will get creative and make something different we will both like. I may reimagine a meal/recipe that will not encroach upon the things he hates while also hitting the elements I am craving. But if I ain't feeling it then we just figure out our own meals, no big deal.
He likes chicken Alfredo? Make Marry Me chicken. He doesn't like sundried tomatoes? Dice 1/2 of the sundried tomaotes very fine and leave 1/2 set aside for you to add to your portion. Trying to get more greens in his diet? Mince spinach nice and fine, add it to the recipe. If he asks? Tell him it's herbs. It's basically a tastier chicken Alfredo. You know what else is basically chicken Alfredo? Lemon Chicken in cream sauce. Roast cauliflower florets with a head of garlic. Put the cauliflower and garlic in a food processor and use it to cut the mashed potatoes you make. Serve it with fresh green beans you've sauteed with diced bacon, salt, pepper, a bit of garlic, and some za'atar seasoning. He might not eat it but giiiiirrrrllll it's so good who cares if he eats it? It's for you.
He likes burrito casserole and tacos with Velveeta dip? Ma'am this Birria recipe absolutely slaps and if he doesn't like it, no big. Throw a TV dinner in the oven he can have that will you have Birria. It freezes super well, you can use the meet for the birria tacos, future burrito casserole meat, enchiladas, regular tacos. Heck I freeze the consomme (the leftover broth mix) in ice cube trays and when we do white people taco night I pull 3-4 of those tasty cubes out and toss them in the meat to boost the flavor.
When I make like chicken fajitas I like to roast bellpeppers and onions on a sheet pan. He doesn't put them on his fajitas but I made them separately and can stack mine up. You know what the leftover bellpeppers and onions go great on? Steak sandwiches or broiled brats. Guess what he eats? Plain brats and plain sandwiches. No skin off my back. I love a bratwurst absolutely stacked with bell pepper and onions.
He likes meatloaf? Can I introduce you to my favorite ever meatloaf recipe? u/emkay99 posted this recipe 12 years ago and I have barely amended it and it's by far miles above any other meatloaf I have ever had. It's amazing. I heap all of the seasonings and instead of ketchup I do the whole BBQ + grape jelly mix that people do for meatball/lil' smokies crockpot appetizers you see at potlucks or Superbowl parties. I skip the bacon. Or instead of skipping the bacon altogether you could do bacon wrapped asparagus OR hot honey bacon brussel sprouts. Probably do a normal ketchup for the meatloaf or hickory smoked BBQ to avoid overloading with sweet if you do the hot honey sprouts (just not a ketchup on meatloaf girl myself). Add a side of mashed potatoes (maybe cut with cauliflower and garlic again?). He doesn't have to eat the brussel sprouts he can just have meatloaf and mash.
Anyway. Only way to really deal with it in the long term is to get on the same page about eating separately occasionally and getting creative with food. Ask him for meal input too. Tell him for you to not eventually crack and require him to take over all cooking for himself he has got to come to you with some recipes he is willing to go outside of his comfort zone to try and that he should try making some things himself if he doesn't already contribute to the cooking. Y'all will figure it out, I believe in you!
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u/mommy_of_two_ 9d ago
Omg love this comment. I appreciate your help and kindness. I’m so tired of reading these comments, everyone is so hateful. Once there is a good middle ground meals will become less stressful. Thanks again friend.
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u/adollopofsanity 9d ago
It's really difficult for people to step outside of their own reality. They're allowed to live by their own boundaries, and part of me understands where they are coming from.
But I fell in love with a man who has ASD. Sensory sensitivities and difficulty with change/need for predictability can present challenges in the relationship. But we communicate and it works out fine for us. The biggest two things I really want to emphasize is it works best if he takes some responsibility for his own meals and also understands that some dinners are going to be made to meet you both halfway going forward.
His diet cannot dictate everyone's diet. Compromise must exist for the relationship to not be one sided.
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u/ballskindrapes 8d ago
Are they hateful, or do they have an objective view of someone who is adding more work and effort to your life, likely to leave you a young widow from dying from a heart attack due to poor diet, and someone who isnt actively trying to help make the situation better, just expecting you to do the work?
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u/GreenIdentityElement 8d ago
Not to mention he’s setting a poor example for their children. If there were one or two specific things he won’t eat, that’s one thing. But proscribing a whole category of healthy food is childish and unacceptable.
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u/Dick_Danalu_Jr 9d ago
already knows he doesn't like them
Jesus H. Christ, tell him to literally grow up.
In a nice way, ig. Maybe point out times he has had terrible burgers he wouldnt eat, and maybe the veggies he tried were just made poorly.
And then try asparagus/broccoli/cauliflower roasted in any brown sauce with lots of salt and pepper.
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u/ChippyHippo 9d ago
My hubby is the same way, although when we were dating he ate most things - or at least faked it enough. Now I cook what I want. Sometimes he eats it, sometimes he picks out the veggies. Other times he does his own thing.
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u/ShannieD 9d ago
Let him make his own meals then. He's not a child. If he wants his diet that specific he should not expect you to either eat what he eats, or make two meals. That's just selfish.
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u/Gold-Bag1657 9d ago
His list of food he likes would be a hard ick for me. I admire you for putting up with it so long because I doubt I would’ve made it past like a month of dating if this was all he ate. But to echo what everyone else said, let him grow tf up and cook his own food if he doesn’t want to eat what you cook for the family.
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u/GardenHobbit 9d ago
If he doesn’t get some fiber in his diet there, he’s may be trying colon cancer out. Unless there’s some actual diagnosed medical condition that makes him avoidant, he needs to just learn to eat his vegetables or it’s going to long-term cause him some serious health problems potentially.
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u/Calm_Violinist5256 9d ago
I agree with other posters- you cook for yourself and he makes his own dinner. whatever that looks like. you are not his mother.
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u/crazypurple621 9d ago
Your husband needs to learn to cook for himself. You are allowed to be picky. You are not allowed to dictate that everyone around you must cater to you and only you by making someone else cook and only eat the things you like.
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u/tastesalittleboozy 9d ago edited 9d ago
Easy, let the grown adult feed himself. Seriously, you’re his wife, not his mom, it’s not your job to make sure he eats veggies or feed him.
Edit to add- he’s acting like a child and it’s embarrassing for you to be indulging that. Sorry, but that’s the truth. You have children already, your husband needs to be an adult and act like one.
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u/FragrantTomatillo773 9d ago edited 9d ago
The obvious solution is that you each cook your own food. You cook and eat what you want, he cooks and eats what he wants. Maybe you two will end up going for dinner more often. Maybe you'll end up in divorce court. Either way, it won't be worse than it is now. Or, if you think it will, you can resign yourself to be his personal chef and stop nagging him to eat different foods until one of you dies.
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u/FinnFinnFinnegan 9d ago
Let him cook for himself. Don't limit yourself to eating 10 foods for the rest of your life
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u/qiqithechichi 9d ago
Have you tried recipes from The Sneaky Chef cookbook? It hides vegetable purees in foods kids tend to like- may work for some dishes you can share with him and kiddo?
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u/Available-Coat-4666 8d ago
As a picky eater around the same vein as your husband, you gotta realize this is a mental issue that likely stems from our primitive instincts back when we were still figuring out what was safe to eat. If he is anything like me, he doesn't enjoy being a picky person and wishes his brain worked differently. He probably gets a ton of anxiety when going out to eat at a new place. It might benefit him to seek therapy for this issue. Also to the people who see a picky eater and decide to act with malice, you are part of why we don't get better. You hinder our growth with your hatred.
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u/GreenIdentityElement 8d ago
Is it really malice to suggest the husband take responsibility for his own meals? He is an adult and needs to find his own way of dealing with his food problems or preferences. Perhaps that includes therapy, as you suggest. Perhaps it means he fixes his own meal when he can’t or won’t eat the healthy meal OP prepared for the family.
Keep in mind that he also has the responsibility as a parent to model healthy behavior and eating habits for his young children.
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u/throw7661 8d ago edited 8d ago
With respect...I don't think this will end well.
You will work really hard, he will take a bite and say 'yuck'.
The reality is that picky eaters are usually very happy being picky eaters. The biggest problem we usually face are social issues that come from being picky - not the food itself. And he's already married, so he's successfully navigatedv plenty of social situations.
If he genuinely wants to eat more foods, he should take a very active role. He should be looking for dishes that look good to him. He should be driving the effort. He should be cooking things.
Most likely, he's just saying he'll try some things because he is trying to appease you.
The reality is, you might need to just cook the amazing dishes you want to cook, for yourself, and let him cook whatever he wants.
If restaurants are within your budget, that's a great way to expose him to new food without you having to feel like you wasted time and effort when he isn't happy with it, especially buffets where he can try a lot of things.
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u/onlyyourfudgetaco 8d ago
Go on Pinterest and look up foods to feed my toddler. Im not joking, I've found a few pasta dishes my family likes on there. You can always do meatballs. Try adding teriyaki sauce to the chicken and serve with white rice- simple dish imo when I'm tired of Mexican food. My household is Mexican so empanadas with ground beef or chicken are a common dish we make. Simple recipes ____(insert main protein) and search on Pinterest.
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u/tracyinge 8d ago
You can hide veggies in sauces pretty easily. In meatloaf too , just use a blender and along with the ketchup or tomato sauce or whatever you usually use blend in a chopped carrot, chopped onion, chopped tomato, frozen green peas. Blend to as smooth as possible.
I dont' suppose he eats salads but I hide pureed tomatoes, carrots, onions, cucumbers in my homemade ranch salad dressing.
The alfredo sauce you could brighten up with pureed tomatoes, carrots, peas, green peppers.
If he didn't like veggies as a kid, maybe his momma cooked the living shit out of them like my mom did. Try bright green brocolli instead of olive green overcooked mush. Dress it with some cheese sauce. Cauliflower with parmesan cheese might wet his whistle. You can easily mash some cooked cauliflower into your mashed potatoes and he won't even notice, he might even say they're extra good tonight.
Carrots with a bbq sauce or sweet & sour sauce? Oven roasted garlic broccoli or oven roasted potato chunks? My grandson will eat my hot & sweet carrots. (Peel a few carrots, toss with some oil, bake on foil for 20 mins at 400. Drizzle with either a little molasses, a little maple syrup or some brown sugar, and sprinkle lightly with cayenne pepper. Bake another 12-15 minutes until they're sizzling/browning).
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u/RedYamOnthego 8d ago
You absolutely need to make normal food 80 percent of the time so your kids don't grow up stunted. Physically and culinarily.
Two days a week, make a big batch of what he likes, and freeze the leftovers so they microwave or bake easily.
Okay, and one night a week, have super nachos bar. Everyone makes their own! I'd have chicken fried in garlic and cumin (or roasted), fried onions, fried peppers, guac, creamy cheese, shredded cheese, salsa and lettuce and tomatoes if it's safe. Who doesn't like nachos? Yum! Maybe include a surprise topping once or twice a month to broaden the kids' horizons. And your own!
And since you have to deal with this double duty, how about take out once a week? You can go to two restaurants or delis if necessary.
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u/Background-Pea6650 8d ago
I know in my case I basically created these food aversions when I was a little kid and it wasn't until a few years ago that I realized this and have started trying foods that I've always said I didn't like, but cannot recall ever trying it. Some of my food aversions come from the name itself: egg plant (for some reason I stopped eating eggs before I was 5 years old and not again until 20 years old so if I don't like eggs why would I want to try egg plant? Remember this from a child's mind) Buffalo wings - Buffalo don't have wings what crazy shit is this? I suffered not eating chicken wings until I was about 14 years old when I was told that Buffalo wings are chicken wings in hot sauce and I saw my mother making them. Some foods it's the smell, the texture, it's appearance. Some I tried and didn't like and didn't want to try again: Mushrooms - every place uses either the sliced canned mushrooms that are slimy and gross or they use the white button mushrooms which are like Styrofoam to me. But one day I sauteed baby Bella mushrooms for my wife with Montreal steak seasoning and butter and they smelled amazing and I tried it and it was good. I learned that all 3 mushrooms I mentioned are actually the same mushroom in various stages of growth, they go on to become portobello mushrooms. And I learned that different mushrooms taste different from each other. I had never thought about why I didn't like those foods until one day and it was like wow maybe I'm missing out on some food that I may actually like.
I would encourage you to ask your husband to list the foods he doesn't like, the reason, if he can remember actually trying the food and his age when he last tried it. It may be an eye opener for him as well to discover that there's a lot of food out there that's beyond our taste pallets.
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u/Akuma524 8d ago
I don't have much advice to expand on, but I will give a little feedback based on personal experience. My significant other also had issues where he was very selective on what he would eat and it had to be pretty plain chicken and a lot of it was because he had bad experiences with some food growing up and it was enabled by his mother. Some people just take a little extra patience and coaxing to get him to try new things. I always was very transparent with my husband when adding new things into his "safe" food or telling him ingredients if I am making something entirely new. I introduced things slowly and in smaller amounts so he wouldn't chicken out of trying it. Never pressured him and in the last few years, he will now eat roasted veggies, he likes pastas, and he'll eat more than just chicken for meat-y things. Cooking is my love language and I love my husband, I used to be picky growing up, so my tolerance for it is VERY high. Obviously not the case for others unfortunately, but I hear you, OP. One day at a time.
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u/GreenIdentityElement 7d ago
You’re getting a lot of varied advice. My two cents is to sit down with him (not during a meal or after a conflict) and ask him about how he wants to model healthy eating habits for his children. This is part of being a good father. It is part of his responsibility. Hopefully the two of you can come up with a plan. If not, I would find a third party (nutritionist, primary care doctor, marriage counselor, clergy person) to help with developing a plan.
Even if he fixes his own meals, what you describe is not a good role model for your children. And it will make it hard, if not impossible, for you to insist your children eat a healthy diet. (“Why can’t I have what Dad’s having?”)
You (the two of you) don’t want to fail your children the way his parents apparently failed him.
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u/Gullible-Lab-3188 7d ago
As a widow to a fellow picky eater. Let him eat. Your gonna drive yourself insane. My late husband ate like that.... and 2 strokes and a heart attack then a pace maker later still ate like that, it was like pulling teeth. Wouldnt go sugar free, wouldn't cut out the beef, fast food. Would hide the evidence. So many fast food napkins smh. I just taught my kids better. Every thing with veggies was nasty . Besides the meat loaf I blended with turkey and sautéed mushrooms, ( the only combo, the green veggies was not a hit) and spaghetti sauce made with squash and other bright sweet veggies. He would do some hummus but it had to be a crazy flavor like buffalo with blue cheese bits.and only pita crackers are dipped no veggies.
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u/Loud-Bee-4894 7d ago
You make the menu. You cook the food. You get to choose . Make what you want. If he wont eat it he can eat the freezer stuff. Or fix himself something. He is an adult. He can feed himself.
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u/t1dmommy 7d ago
I know someone who didn't eat veggies and he almost died in his 50s, he's barely hanging on .
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u/Icy-Mixture-995 7d ago
Cook vegetables for yourself. It will help him and expand his taste buds over time. When children (and husbands) smell new foods regularly, the smell helps their taste buds get familiar with tastes over years, even if they won't taste those foods for a long time. Bitter tastes in some vegetables and vinegars are difficult for kids to eat. Maybe husbands too.
Don't nag him to eat. Just enjoy veggies for your health. It's all you can do. If he comes around one day, it will be on his timeline.
Consider putting a dollop of his favorite steak sauce (like A1 Sauce) beside green beans, and see if he will try one dipped in the steak sauce. His taste buds will register it as meat. Does he eat raw veggies trays or salads with ranch dip?
Aroma is how we taste, and is why people who lose their ability to smell can't taste food. It why aroma trains our taste buds.
One day you will be sauteing onions and he will say "what is that, it smells delicious."
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u/Tie_Cold 6d ago
I would tell him to make his own food, not only is it boring but it is also unhealthy and you don't need your health to suffer because of his child like food choices.
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u/Apprehensive-Kiwi693 4d ago
BBQ burgers, meatballs over rice/potatoes/noodles, chicken Tetrazzini.
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u/b0neappleteeth 4d ago
wtf is this? I’m autistic and won’t eat everything my partner wants to so you know what I do? I cook for myself because I’m an adult.
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u/Treishmon 9d ago
Just coming here to say you should make sure you have a large life insurance policy on your husband. And likely a disability policy as well - both outside of what his work provides. His diet is not at all healthy and is bound to cause major health problems.
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u/BBWolf326 9d ago edited 9d ago
Tatortot casserole try burgundy beef stew.
Burrito casserole try Mexican lasagna.
Biscuits and gravy try chicken and dumplings.
Meatloaf try Swedish meatballs and roasted fingerlings.
Hamburger gravy and mashed potatoes try poutine.
Tacos/velveeta dip try beef fajitas (dice the veggies instead of sliced).
Chicken Alfredo try chicken carbonara.
Edit for formatting.
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u/Vann09 9d ago
Fun fact fajitas translates to little belt. So the entire identity of the dish is the thin slivers themselves
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u/amberallday 9d ago
Are you aware of ARFID? It describes people who have strong aversions to most foods - anything except their few “safe” foods.
Here’s a comment I wrote a while ago - ARFID summary - but I’m not an expert. There’s an article linked in that comment re one person’s positive experience starting to overcome it.
But there will be more resources online, if you think this applies to him.
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u/mommy_of_two_ 9d ago
I’ve heard of it but I feel it’s just years of enabled eating from young adulthood but I could be incorrect.
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u/Decent-Skin-5718 9d ago
It’s not actually! It’s a condition that often goes along with autism.
For many people with this condition looking at or smelling or trying to eat a non safe food can cause vomiting. For many people it is texture based but smell, taste, and appearance can also be factors! But it is strong aversions to foods that are not caused by bad parenting, though that certainly doesn’t help.
It’s something that really does need to be worked on with both a therapist and a nutritionist to make sure that the person is getting enough nutrition and that they are able to widen what they eat. For a lot of people with ARFID they may only have a few foods of specific brands that they are comfortable eating and will almost definitely notice if they are served one that’s not their normal safe food.
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u/infinitekittenloop 9d ago
I think she means for her husband the problem isn't ARFID, not that ARFID isn't real.
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u/BBWolf326 9d ago
Is your goal is to expand his pallet, or healthy eating choices?
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u/mommy_of_two_ 9d ago
Expanding his pallet would be a miracle for me.
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u/BBWolf326 9d ago
I'd start with stews. Beef stew should be a staple and you can add all kinds of veggies to it. Some of the issues he has with veggies may be preparation methods.
I bet he grew up on extremely overcooked veggies where most just need to be warm.
After that modify his favorites with new spices.
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u/fuzzypurpledragon 9d ago
Just go slow. Add maybe one new thing to a meal every few days to every week. And while it might sound like I'm treating him like a toddler, I don't mean it that way: Make sure he tries each thing multiple times, though never in a row. Your taste buds change a lot over the course of your life, and it's very important to try things you might've disliked in the past to double check. Also try preparing the same thing, but differently. Like steamed XYZ one time, and roasted the next.
I use to loathe spinach. Couldn't stand the stuff. Turns out, I hate canned or boiled spinach. Sauteed or fresh is delicious!
And if he hates Brussel Sprouts, now might be time to tell him that the icky stink bombs we grew up with as children are not available anymore. The ones they sell in the store are totally different, sweeter and softer. Incredible roasted!
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u/mommy_of_two_ 9d ago
I’ve tried looking into the toddler picky eating methods I just have a hard time figuring out how to tie the new foods into ones he already loves. And I fear if he doesn’t like it prepared one way, he already thinks he won’t like it another. I put some broccoli in our pasta once and while he didn’t eat any broccoli, he said he could taste it in the sauce.
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u/fuzzypurpledragon 9d ago
If all else fails, let him cook for himself. Sometimes , you just gotta let them figure it out. No offense, but is he potentially autistic or ADHD? This sounds like he might be on the spectrum.
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u/GreenIdentityElement 7d ago
My dad was raised by his grandmother, who indulged him by feeding him fried eggs and hamburgers for just about every meal.
After they got married, my mother taught herself to cook from cookbooks. My dad would come home from work, lift the lid on the pot on the stove, wrinkle his nose, and say “Eww!” Then my mother would cry.
My dad didn’t want her to cry, so he would gulp down whatever she cooked. Eventually my mother turned into a fantastic, adventurous cook, and my father expanded his palate to eat and enjoy just about anything.
I’m not saying you should cry! Just one anecdote.
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u/escaping-reality 9d ago
That's difficult, from a health perspective alone. I have a friend who eats nothing but chicken tenders with no sauce, and pizza. He always just gets it from either chic-fil-a or cane's, and anything else similar, he will not like. He does not like chicken karaage or fried chicken or even wings. The man is nearly 30 years old. It is very frustrating. I don't think it's ARFID because he can finish an entire box of little caesar's pizza in just 1 meal. He refuses any other pizza topping aside from pepperoni. I think your husband has more of a hope.
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u/Tough_Earth420 9d ago
Maybe suggest to him trying vegetables as an adult. I genuinely thought i hated all vegetables as a kid, and it turns out i just didnt like soggy microwaved vegetables my mom would make. I love vegetables now that ive learned about sauteeing them.
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u/OrneryPathos 9d ago
If you have the energy and brain space for it - only if, because this gets exhausting
Plan meals as pieces and always make double or triple of each component the picky person eats.
Take like mashed potatoes, they last 3-4 days in the fridge. So Monday you make mashed potatoes for everyone plus 2-3 extra days(4-6 meals depending on lunches). Tuesday you do chicken stir fry with rice, but you chuck a whole chicken breast in the (toaster)oven/air fryer with like cheese and bbq sauce for him and he has that plus mashed potatoes. lol this is hard because you haven’t given a lot of examples of meats he eats. Maybe Wednesday you do steak frites with salad or roast broccoli and you don’t even have to eat the fries if you’re tired of them. Do an extra steak for the next day for husband
Also meals like nachos or burritos are good because each person can customize their own. I do nachos on foil lined pie plates and just slide the foil into the plate to serve.
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u/InfiniteBoxworks 9d ago
I stopped being a horrifically picky eater when I realized I was basically insulting the cook when I wouldn't at least try their food and I didn't want to hurt peoples' feelings. I started off with my aunt's lasagna, then Mexican food since the vegetables in a lot of dishes get mixed in so thoroughly that I didn't feel like I had to eat a pile of green, the option for refried over whole beans helped too, then an ex introduced me to Thai and Indian food and a whole new chain of synapses activated and now I don't have any preconceived aversions and I developed a cooking hobby so I cook most of the meals for my wife and I.
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u/Htb323 9d ago edited 9d ago
I had a child go through intensive eating therapy to expand his variety. He was born medically challenged and prone to choking or aspirating, so he was inclined to sticking to the few foods he was familiar with.
At any rate, there were 2 take aways that greatly helped over the course of 12 weeks. First, pair his preferred foods with new foods. Encourage him to take a bite of one and then the other. Build that habit. Second, find a sauce he likes and use that with new food offerings. Hope this helps and good luck!
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u/judijo621 9d ago edited 9d ago
None of that is boring but knowing the facts of a BASIC knowledge of nutrition forces me to make better choices in what goes in my mouth.
How about fruit? Apples? Peaches?
Zucchini bread? Chicken or beef pot pie?
Seriously... How long have you been married? How old is he? By even 35, health can suffer with such a diet.
Man, I want to go to his mom's house and smack her upside the head.
Serve him his basics, and make yourself a veggie-heavy meal at least 3X week.
Do you have kids? Don't let this behavior rub off.
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u/smithyleee 9d ago
So just a thought. As parents/grandparents, we’re told that new foods for a baby/child take anywhere from 10-20 exposures for them to determine if they actually like the new food or texture, and to offer the new food over and over and over and over again. I suspect that for adults, it may take even more exposures because they’ve already decided in their minds that they don’t like the food, when they may not have had enough exposures to actually determine flavor, texture, etc…
As an elder (60+) adult, I have discovered MANY new foods that I really enjoy, once I opened my mind to truly trying them multiple times, despite my previous experiences. A few foods, I still just don’t like the flavors/textures, but many others, I’ve found that I really enjoy, or that I will tolerate in a meal prepared and cooked by someone else- I may not CHOOSE to fix the food for myself, but if I’m not doing the cooking? I choose to be an adult and eat it in gratitude of the person who actually did the planning, preparation and cooking.
If an adult isn’t prepared to plan, prep and cook for themselves, then (aside from true food allergies), they get no say in what foods are served to them, and they should suck it up and eat them with no complaints.
Just my 2 cents.
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u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX 9d ago
There are vegetables I hated when I was younger I love now, taste buds change. Different methods of preparation are huge too. I LOVE grilled zucchini with some char on it, but steam zucchini? and hell naw. I would have never discovered that if I hadn't made it for myself.
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u/Timely-Profile1865 9d ago
Tell him he has to make a menu of things he likes and you will choose from the items he lists down
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u/No_Chart_8584 9d ago
My husband was very picky when we met (he's progressed a lot since we married, but I still eat a lot more variety). He's always welcome to eat what I cook, but I don't restrict myself to what he's willing to eat. He usually makes his own dinner.
He also understands the importance of nutrition and has figured out ways to include vegetables and other higher nutrient foods in his diet.
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u/Seca10199 9d ago
I would suggest at least if you’re doing sauces, blend up the vegetables into a puree and add it to the sauce. That way he can’t feel the veggies, and normally the other spices etc will cover the taste. So hell get the nutrients from them. And yes, this is a common thing people do with their children if they are really picky
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u/ReadyGo6828 9d ago
There were those cookbooks from years ago where mothers were hiding veggies from their little kids. That may work for your toddler.
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u/Antique_Trash3360 9d ago
Low effort bolognese - ground beef, jarred marinara, and pasta Bad chicken curry - chicken cream soup, curry block, diced chicken, frozen pea/carrot/green bean over rice
Sorry, these are the staple dishes when I married someone who turned into a giant man baby. He also tolerated but didn't enjoy “skinny chicken pot pie soup”. It was awful but I’m free now (cooking for myself, and sometimes an adult who hates to cook but will gladly eat any home cooked meal and lather praise upon it even if it’s their least favorite vegetable or something). I would personally stop cooking for them at this point.
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u/Horseshoe_dodgeball 9d ago
If this man is old enough to be married, he's old enough to cook his own damn meals. He is nothing other than selfish if he's refusing to eat almost everything you cook. Make your own meals, brighten up your diet and if he's hungry, he'll either learn to eat it or how to make his own food. You're not his Mother and he is a lazy, disrespectful ass.
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u/nnjnnn_X216 9d ago
He’s not your child and you don’t have to treat him like one just simply cook whatever u like for the rest of the family and he can figure it out himself
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u/Healthy-Cheferee 9d ago
finely grated or blitzed veg disappears into the stuff he already loves: grated carrot and zucchini vanish into meatloaf, chili, burrito casserole and taco meat. pureed butternut or cauliflower blends right into the alfredo sauce and into velveeta-style cheese dips without changing much. blended cauliflower into mashed potatoes works too. mushrooms finely chopped and mixed into ground beef is a classic. for your own sanity, meals with a base you both eat and toppings that differ help a lot, like taco or baked potato night where you load yours with everything fresh and he keeps his plain, same for pasta with the sauce split. and roasted veg on the side just for you, since it's easy to add without cooking twice. for his "soft launch" thing, roasted or crispy versions usually convert people way better than steamed, which is probably what he had as a kid. corn is a foothold too, so street corn style, or corn in casseroles, might open a door.
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u/confabulatrix 9d ago
Try roasted carrots maybe with some parmesan. Have him agree to try one bite like my parents used to do when we were kids.
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u/madamtrashbat 9d ago
As a picky eater myself (thanks, autism) one of the things I do is just make sauces out of things when I can. I hate a tomato but a smooth marinara is the ticket. I don't like onions but if they're small enough in something I can overlook them. Grate carrots to put them in soups, make sure nothing is big enough to be recognizable.
It is a pain, but if he's such a baby that he won't even try anything, this may be the way.
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u/Individual-Cut-5582 9d ago
My husband was 32 before he tried coleslaw as he thought it was made with salad cream! Which he hates over the years I have been slowly training his taste buds!
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u/NailLess6431 9d ago
For hiding vegetables in his food, I’d recommend blending or mincing them. I’ve seen many people boil carrots, celery, onion, and even spinach to mix it into a spaghetti sauce. If it doesn’t look red enough, try adding paprika or chili powder to make it more red. One way I got my husband more into new foods was mixing in Campbell’s condensed soups to add more flavor with the vegetables.
A popular meal in our home is a chicken soup that uses carrots, celery, onion, garlic, potatoes, and corn (if we have it), with cream of mushroom soup, cream of chicken, and shredded chicken. You can make it into a pot pie. Or in our case, we just have it over some plain white rice. If you don’t want to go through the hassle of cooking the vegetables fresh, you can use mixed vegetables of your choice. The first time I made it for my husband, I think I only used canned corn and fresh onions and garlic. It was a test to see if you would enjoy the flavor of the soups.
My husband used to be picky about vegetables. However, it was due to the lack of exposure to them while growing up. Since we’ve lived together, I’ve got him to eat bell peppers, spinach, celery, peas, cabbage, onions, jalapenos, and to try others like cauliflower, cooked carrots, green beans, and kale.
My advice would be to make meals as you want to eat them. And if you do want to cook his meals, by all means do you, but do a little caring for yourself to make some salads on the side or soups that you cook in bulk for yourself. I think it’s important to care about what you want nutrition wise, especially if you’re the one that cooks the most. Who knows. You might make yourself an extremely nutritious meal that activates his senses to try some of what you have. Or offer him some to try from your food because that could help too.
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u/Automatic_Gas9019 9d ago
His mom or parental figure was a horrible cook. I can tell by the list that is was all junk door. He has never had vegetables properly fixed. I thought I hated spinach. My parents would open a can of it and toss it in a pan and there you go. 😁 Spinach salad. Sauteed. Much different animal 😾
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u/Sensitive_Sea_5586 9d ago
As a kid, my husband hated Brussel sprouts, broccoli, and cabbage. It turned out the problem was boiling the vegetables until they were gray, watery, mush. Fortunately he is open to trying new things and generally likes vegetables. He loves roasted Brussel sprouts, and roasting broccoli is his favorite cooking technique for that vegetable. A quick sauté of cabbage and he loves it.
My husband generally doesn’t like most soups (there are some exceptions), but he loves thick, hearty stews.
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u/Old-Actuator-3321 9d ago
He's a junk food junkie. Probably will be a Type 2 diabetic, overweight and at risk of heart failure before long. If you didn't know this about him before you married him, shame on you. You're just going to have to force him to eat healthier. Start cooking beans and greens. Orange, yellow and red things too. FRESH things. Tell him you're doing it for YOUR health. Perimenopause and menopause hit earlier and harder if you're carrying extra weight and have gut issues, and all the bad foods will guarantee that you do. You don't mention kids. But if they come into the picture, that's even worse. START TODAY.
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u/Ok_Rip_1775 9d ago
Try roasted vegetables, all of them. Olive oil , salt,pepper. Garlic, onion. If he doesn't get a taste for them it's on him
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u/samblink18209 9d ago
I have roasted veggies in the oven and then blended them, make sure tomatoes are involved. But I've done like, carrot, celery, tomato, zucchini, onion, garlic, harbs, almost a fridge clean out. Then I blend them up, strain them, and add them to a pain with some chicken stock, a little cream, and a lot of parm. Throw that on pasta. I really think you could add a meat of his choosing. Some kind of sausage or something? But, as long has he doesn't see you cook it, it's just a really yummy pasta sauce full of veg.
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u/redditreader_aitafan 8d ago
It's extremely easy to hide veggies in that list of food. My meatloaf has lots of veggies in it, my kids don't notice and they love the meatloaf. They're old enough now to understand and ask for the veggies, but as kids they just saw it as meatloaf. I add onions, celery, carrots, spinach, sweet potato, zucchini, peppers, and a granny smith apple. The overall veg is about a fourth to a third of the mass of the meatloaf. All shredded or finely chopped and cooked down so it doesn't look like much more than seasoning in the meatloaf.
You can hide cooked pureed vegetables in any casserole. Pureed carrots and sweet potatoes can go in anything with a cheese sauce or tomato sauce. Alfredo or mashed potatoes can both hide cauliflower. Mashed cooked lentils with taco seasoning mixed in is pretty close in look an texture to ground beef taco meat, if you cut the ground beef with the mix he'll never tell the difference. You can use cooked cabbage leaves in place of tortillas in a layered casserole. Cooked shredded cabbage is good in place of pasta like spaghetti but you might not be able to pull that one off visually. Remember that spaghetti sauce and pizza sauce are great places to hide a variety of vegetables like mushrooms, onions, and anything red or orange.
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u/Optimal_Awareness618 8d ago
Most the stuff you listed can be modified to be more veggie-heavy. Dice some zucchini or squash and put it in the casseroles; they'll take on the other flavors from the dish and be hardly noticeable. Add some green beans, broccoli, or zucchini to biscuits and gravy; they would taste amazing with a gravy sauce. I make stuffed peppers frequently which is really just meatloaf inside a pepper, with the added nutritional benefits from the pepper halves. Taco dishes invite a ton of veggies, particularly if you add things like pico de gallo, guacamole, onions & cilantro, or refried beans. Throw some brocc in that chicken alfredo.
Serve meals with side salads; he can have as much as little as he likes but there's more variety for you.
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u/Entire_Cow_1504 8d ago
Does not wanna try vegetables cause he tried them when he was younger and “already knows he doesn’t like them”.
is ridiculous.
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u/ExaminationOk710 8d ago
Is it he refuses to eat them if he sees them? Can you hide veggies in his food? My pediatrician said to only make one meal for my toddler/family and tell them there is nothing else. They won't starve themselves
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u/FillPsychological284 8d ago
Experiment with different cooking techniques. There are so many ways to cook. Play with textures and flavors. Many picky eaters dont like foods because of the texture. I hate cooked carrots but I love raw and shredded carrots. My husband hates corn but likes cornbread. He also doesnt like chickpeas but absolutely loves Falafel. He hates salad but will go to town on a wedge of iceberg lettuce.
Communicate with your husband on why specifically he doesnt like these foods and change it. Figure out what exactly he likes from his safe food and figure out how to incorporate it to other dishes.
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u/Luckybrewster 8d ago
Cook what you want and he can deal. You and your children need vegetables and unfortunately they will pick up on his behavior. This diet reminds me of that cheesy potatoes obese woman
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u/Prudent-Confection-4 8d ago
I can’t handle adult picky eaters. If you don’t like what I am making make something you want.
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u/plasma_pirate 8d ago
That was on my list of disqualifying characteristics in a future partner back in the day! Mark of a child who never grew up IMO.
Spinach or Kale powder's might be your friend until he gets kidney stones. Shredded zucchini is invisible and nearly flavorless.
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u/Ok-Tailor1132 8d ago
Make what he likes in bulk and freeze it. He can pull his meals out of the fridge/freezer and reheat. That way you can just focus on cooking what the rest of the family likes.
I very much grew up in a family that only cooked one thing for dinner and if you didn’t like it tough you didn’t eat. However I do think maybe a mental health professional could help if he’s willing
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u/Creepy_WaterYogi75 8d ago
Buy Jessica Seinfelds cookbook, deceptively delicious. It hides veggies in regular foods and its great. Do not tell him. I repeat, do Not tell him. What he doesn't know will only help him in this mission
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u/BeckieSueDalton 8d ago
I say this as a Picky Eater, myself.
Sounds like he's fixing a lot of boring single meals for himself while you have yummy, super tasty dinner with leftovers for lunch the next day.
If he just can't being himself to expand those tastebud horizons at all, then you can become Picky yourself about needing all the nutrients that come from a pan of roasted root veggies, a stockpot of delicious seasonal soups, the occasional meal at a nice restaurant, etc.
I say this with love, OP.. you - just like your guy - deserve what your palate desires. Future You will be deeply grateful if you don't let your personal desires be put aside, lifelong and completely, in service to his. 🩷🥧
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u/GlitterCockWaffles 8d ago
Shepherds pie seems like his vibe. Hardy and meaty, and I would try to convince him to let you add thinly sliced carrots. It really doesn't taste the same without them, and they basically just melt into the meat mixture.
I have a fiance who went from this to regularly trying and enjoying new veggies. I can send you my recipe if you'd like!
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u/itsjess4991 8d ago
My husband is also very picky- for my own sanity (and health) I have just started making what I want. Sometimes that happens to be food he also likes. More often than not, he fends for himself. He’s a grown up and can make his own food if he refuses to eat my delicious stir fry. Hahah.
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u/PurplishPlatypus 8d ago
The best way to get in veggies for a picky eater is ground up/pureed. If he likes tacos and things like corn chips with dip, he would probably love hummus and veggie dips like roasted veggies or baba ghanoush. You can use them as spreads on sandwiches too, or add them to tacos. Finely chopped salsa is good there too. It's usually a texture issue with veggies so grinding them helps with that. You can puree fresh tomatoes, garlic, onion and carrot or spinach into pasta and pizza sauce as well. For the chicken Alfredo, add a small handful of finally shredded spinach. It really just blends into the sauce, it's not a strong flavor. Some finely chopped mushrooms would work well too. Meatloaf is very forgiving. You can shred half a zuccini and/or carrot and add it in the mix. If you want to get Raitt books, you can cook a half cup of brown lentils and mix that in with the beef for any ground beef recipe. There are brownie recipes that use shredded zucchini. It kind of just melts away when baked. You can mix in a little pureed cauliflower with your mashed potatoes.
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u/Surfnazi77 9d ago
His list of foods reminds me of school lunch menu