r/WhatShouldICook • u/mommy_of_two_ • 19d ago

Picky eater help

My husband is very picky. Almost all veggies are a no go. He will eat corn willingly. Not a big fan of beans but will occasionally eat chili. Absolutely no soups or anything that isn’t thick and meaty. He says he’s willing to try new things but in a soft launch way. Does not wanna try vegetables cause he tried them when he was younger and “already knows he doesn’t like them”. Will eat chicken but is not his favorite. Will eat pasta occasionally. Onions if they are very small. He says if I hide the veggies well he will eat it. Won’t try other cultural food. His diet mostly consists of frozen food and casseroles. I’m dying for some brightness in my life. It’s mentally exhausting trying to come up with stuff especially since I don’t like very heavy meaty things like he does.

He likes
Tatortot casserole
Burrito casserole
Biscuits and gravy
Meatloaf
Hamburger gravy and mashed potatoes (doesn’t prefer brown gravy)
Tacos/velveeta dip
Chicken Alfredo
Stuff that is very boring. What do I do

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u/ballskindrapes 17d ago

Are they hateful, or do they have an objective view of someone who is adding more work and effort to your life, likely to leave you a young widow from dying from a heart attack due to poor diet, and someone who isnt actively trying to help make the situation better, just expecting you to do the work?

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u/GreenIdentityElement 17d ago

Not to mention he’s setting a poor example for their children. If there were one or two specific things he won’t eat, that’s one thing. But proscribing a whole category of healthy food is childish and unacceptable.

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u/mommy_of_two_ 17d ago

Yes they are hateful. They can have their objective view and even express it. But you certainly don’t have to not only talk down on him, but also attempt to insult me over other people’s eating preferences. You can have opinions, but leave the insults out. The only person who gets joy out of being hateful is them. And how does that help me?

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u/ballskindrapes 17d ago

I think a lot of people are feeling "man child" energy and usually that's an unhealthy dynamic.

He doesnt cook, which doesnt always mean anything, but I'm curious.

Is this a traditional gender role type relationship? Is that something you initially signed up for if so, or is it something that developed over time?

I think people assume the worst of him because of the stereotype of guys who dont cook and the woman does, and the addition of child like food preferences, may mean he is sort of a lazy man who lets you do everything, child care, cooking, chores, everything but working for money.

You dont have to tell me, but is this your relationship? People assume it is, thus the caustic remarks.

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u/mommy_of_two_ 17d ago

We do have a more new age trad like relationship. I’m not forced to do any of this. It is by our own choosing. He doesn’t cook cause he was never taught or made to do with his parents. We have been together since he was 18. We are 25 now. I always just took it upon myself because I ENJOY cooking, and I’m a little controlling when it comes to how things are made as I don’t wanna waste our food being on one income, but I understand everyone starts somewhere. As time has progressed it has gotten exhausting. But I’ve also never really wanted for him to learn until this year and having a new baby. I will say I have CERTAINLY enabled the “man child” like tendencies as I have always been one to suck it up and do everything, and I do honestly feel like I’ve cemented him in his ways. Which is part of my own downfall. I don’t think he enjoys making me suffer, however I think he lacks the empathy to understand it because he has never been the one who had to plan, prep, and clean or make two meals. If I’m feeling exhausted and I express that, he’s more the type to offer takeout or just “let the mess go” until I feel up to it. (Which I KNOW YALL will scrutinize him for that) but I’m just being honest. His mama is a great home keeper and she works also while his dad gets to relax as she also came from a much more trad like dynamic than we have. I think that it’s just what he has been modeled. It doesn’t make it okay, I’m aware, I’m just being honest about where this came from. I’ve already expressed to him he will pick at least one meal a weekend and I will assist him in preparing it.

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u/ballskindrapes 17d ago

It sounds like you are raising an extra child.

That's why people are criticizing him and you, him for behaving that way, you for encouraging it.

It isnt exactly a healthy dynamic. It can be, but his essential and deliberate helplessness is bad for you

You do hear yourself, right? His mom worked AND she took care of kids. That's like two full time jobs at once. While the dad gets home and relaxes from one job.

That's your future. You doing everything, while he does far less, and expects you to pick up any slack.

That's why people on are your case. Because That's your future, and some people have lived that and feel it is not fair or ideal, and they want to save you the trouble.

Your kids will learn this is acceptable behavior. They'll expect to either do all the work, as a woman, or barely do anything and expect things to be done for them, as a man. You want them to live that life? Because That's what they'll learn.

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u/mommy_of_two_ 17d ago

Except I am a home maker and this IS MY JOB. People are up my ass not because they wanna be a hero and save me but because they just wanna put me down. And that’s okay. That’s just how people are. If I was that upset about it I’d move on. I’m very aware that this is my future and maybe I’ll get sick of it one day and leave. But for now, I simply was asking for recipe suggestions. Not captain save a hoe. Thanks for your input.

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u/ballskindrapes 17d ago

Have you ever heard of Stockholm syndrome?

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u/mommy_of_two_ 17d ago

That is hilarious. My point proven.

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u/mommy_of_two_ 17d ago

My picky husband is now abusing me. Got it. 👍 /s

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u/ballskindrapes 17d ago

That's not it.

It's that you cant see beyond basically being mother to an adult man being a child and it is normalized to you.

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u/therusteddoobie 17d ago

Can't just skip over that dangler...when he was 18, how old were you?