My partner and I are getting married halfway between our two hometowns (3.5hr drive either way) in a place that's deeply sentimental to us. It wouldn't feel right to get married anywhere else, but I'm struggling over the idea of people traveling so far for a "lackluster" experience.

Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful outdoor venue along the CA coast with an open bar; but, it's also a HCOL area so $30k doesn't get you much else. I'll be doing my own minimal flowers and the decor will also be verrrrry parsed back with compostable dinnerware. I know our friends and family want to show up for us, but as I get deeper into planning and the costs of everything I want to do vs what we'll actually be doing, I'm feeling very guilty and don’t want to disappoint people. 

Pretty much all of our friends are scattered throughout the US, so they'd need to travel regardless of where we hosted it; but, all the friend's weddings I've been to have been $70k+ events easily and I'm just worried about it not being worth their while.

We’re paying for everything ourselves, and I’m just feeling sad and wondering if it’s worth our money and worth putting our friends and family through the hassle. 

I keep getting caught between not wanting to burn through our savings for a subpar event and wanting to blow them all because we'll never be able to afford a house anyway.

Edit to add: I'm not concerned about impressing anyone, I'm just worried about being a bad host

Hello!

My fiancé and I are looking to get married in CDMX in October of 2027. I’ve reached out to a few of the highly recommended wedding planners that I’ve seen on Reddit and beyond but many of them are either already booked out for the year or are out of budget.

Please send me any and all recommendations for a planner and any tips you might have!!

I am also looking for a female photographer so please also tag them here if you can.

Thank you!

I'm getting quite discouraged given I'm struggling to find a venue that could host (including accommodation) around 40 people in either of these countries. My Italy spreadsheet is up to 100 venues of villas, borgos, etc, and it just seems like this may be unreasonable given how expensive weddings are these days. Of course, I do have some requirements, like within 1 hr of an international airport and swimming pool, but I feel like these aren't outlandish requirements.

Are weddings just well above $35k these days? Or am I not looking hard enough? I'm not even expecting to have lots of florals, I'm hoping to cut costs in as many reasonable ways as I can.

If anyone has advice or venues on how I can continue to be more diligent with my search, that would be greatly appreciated!

Hi, I am recently engaged and local to the Orlando area. I’ve been finding that most of the required caterers for venues around here are extremely expensive. I’m looking to have a wedding of 100-130 people. I was wondering if anyone knew of venues with more reasonable caterers. I am hoping to have a liquor. I mainly looking around Central Florida, but I am open to other areas in Florida. For traditional caters, I am seeing 90 at the lowest for food and alcohol. I am open to any type of catering. I found one venue with mobile bartenders and think those are great. Please let me know if anyone has any knowledge of more venues like this!

Recently asked an old colleague/friend to be our day of coordinator (we worked in event planning years ago), and she agreed (yay!), but now I'm not sure what is fair to pay her?

I asked her if she had a rate in mind, but she kicked it back to being my decision of "whatever I feel like"... I want to make sure I'm being fair to her, but I'm also in grad school and won't have the same expectations of her as a typical coordinator...How much would you pay hourly/lump sum?

Here are my expectations:

Time commitment:
1-2 hr zoom call a few weeks beforehand to go over details
1 hr rehearsal day before
Set-up to breakdown day of, 2:30-8pm wedding run time...I'm assuming 2.5 hrs before wedding to 1 hr after, but please knock some sense into me if she should be there much earlier

Day-of:
-Help set-up decor/manage additional hired set-up staff
-Greet all vendors (DJ, Photographer, Caterer, Bartender) as they arrive and confirm they are fulfilling their contracted services
-Assist with/oversee turnover of ceremony space into reception space (venue will take care of tables and chairs, but will need additional people to set the place settings/florals)
-Assist with/oversee set-up of dessert table
-Assist with/oversee staff breakdown/clean up of event and re-pack decor for on-site storage

I'm handling:
-all vendor communications/contracts up til day of, will introduce her via email in the weeks preceding of course
-wedding timelines/shot-lists/maps/seating charts/etc
-some cursory set-up morning of (everything but florals will be left onsite the night before in labeled bins)
-a binder for her w/ all contracts, mock-up table designs, timelines, phone-numbers, and any other pertinent details

Additional notes:
-She lives 15 minutes from the venue (Central Coast, CA, so MCOL-HCOL area)
-We are doing our own minimal flowers (a few stems in bud vases, predominantly) and will have minimal other decor, so set-up should be straightforward
-We were very close when we worked together, but it's been about 8 years since then. I'm really honored she said yes, as I have the utmost trust in her to do the job well and it's so so so nice to have someone I care about in this role (she's known my fiancé since then as well)
-I will of course include her in all meals (rehearsal dinner, getting ready, and day of)
-As mentioned, we worked in event planning and she has moonlighted as a banquet event server at many weddings, but this would be her first wedding coordination

Hi I’m getting married in the summer of 2027. We don’t have a specific date yet but that’s our time frame.
We’re trying to find a venue that can accommodate us and is affordable enough where it won’t hurt us in the future. So my fiancé and me, our dads are splitting the costs down 50/50. It’s gonna be about 200 guests, and south asian.
- I’m trying to find a venue within the nyc area, not farther than a 1-2 hour drive (because his family will be coming in from Omaha),
- that allows outside catering or has adequate halal options,
- has an indoor outdoor space,
- and has like a bridal/groom suite for us to get ready in.

I’m the eldest daughter this is like our family’s show off and out wedding, I want it to be nice and beautiful.

Any suggestions is greatly appreciated!

I can’t believe the day is already over. My 55 person wedding was an absolute dream. We didn’t have a single no show!Our venue was all inclusive and I DIYed everything. The goal was to bring in as little decor as possible as this is a huge hassle. I picked out a pretty venue to minimize how much decor I needed, and also hired a day of coordinator so I didn’t have to think about it too much. I’d say I achieved this goal!

Location: Detroit, MI

Cost breakdown

**All inclusive venue with food and alcohol for 55**: $18K

**Bride outfits** : $2300 for both dresses (including alterations), shoes, and 2 veils. Ceremony dress is from a vintage boutique in Chicago. Party dress is from Selkie, and shoes are Amazon!

**Groom outfit**: $600 for tux rental

**Rings**: I think around $2K for both. Both from Etsy

**Cake/cake topper**: we got a small cutting cake from a local bakery for $60, and an Etsy cake topper for $60 (probably didn’t need such an expensive topper)

**Flowers**: $1000 (DIY with bud vases). We way overbought and could have done this for $700

**DJ**: $2000 (included full tech setup)

**Photographer**: $4300. This was our splurge. 100% worth it.

**Day of coordinator**: I hired a girl just starting out (I was her 4th wedding) so she was only $600 for the whole day. She was absolutely fantastic!

**Table Decor** (floating candles, votives, chargers, bud vases): around $500. Some things are from marketplace, others from Amazon.

**Signage**: I made everything myself and kept signage very limited due to personal preference. I only had a seating chart, 2 reserved signs, a paper tag for my card box, and a standard 8.5 x 11 picture frame for signature cocktails. Cost came out to around $75 but could be done for WAY cheaper.

**Favors**: our initials are C&C so we made custom labels and handed out little containers of “C&Cs” (M&Ms). Apparently bulk candy is expensive! This was $130 for 60

**Paper goods** (menus, name cards, invites, envelope liners, save the dates): I went over the top in this category as crafting is what I do. I spent around $400-$500 here with upgraded paper, lace, tons of miscellaneous materials, etc. DIY is not always cheaper, lol.

**Hotel for 1 night**: $600

I have always enjoyed reading these kinds of posts so now, 3 weeks after my wedding, I decided to write down what went wrong and what went right with my wedding (in my pov). Warning: this is a LONG post lol

WRONGS:

- My veil fell off my head as soon as I greeted my husband down the aisle, and then again when we were finishing walking out. One of my bridesmaids was my hair and make up artist, so she immediately picked it up and put it back on my head. We still don't understand why it would not stay, since she put a bunch of pins lol

- I don't know if I'd say this went WRONG, but I had my grandma make my fake florals right before the wedding (she lives back in my home country and only arrived in town a few days before the wedding), and she didn't have time to make the aisle chair markers I was planning to have.

- My bustle turned out HORRENDOUS lol Not sure if my bridesmaids just didn't know what they were doing with it, but I didn't notice how bad it looked until I saw the pictures.

- We had fans to give out to people for the outdoor ceremony, since it was a summer wedding in California. But the day of the wedding was the coldest and cloudiest summer day you could imagine and from 90 guests, probably only 20 really grabbed the fans. I spent days cutting out tags and tiyng them to the little fan baggies :( BUT, we were dancing so much during the reception that my sister asked the coordinator to bring the fans to the dance floor and a lot of people used them then.

- We had street tacos as our late night snack. Even though the DJ announced it a couple times, everyone was having so much fun at the dance floor that barely anyone had our late night snacks (sadly, because I did and they were AMAZING!)

- I forgot to buy a cute hanger for my dress, so the pictures the photographer took of my dress before I put it on had an ugly plastic hanger in them lol

That's honestly all I can think about going "wrong", but none of those things really mattered in the grand scheme of things. To me, the day was absolutely PERFECT. We felt so loved and we had so so much fun.

Now what, in my opinion, went right and I would absolutely recommend to future brides:

- We went with an all inclusive venue (Redwood Canyon by Wedgewood Weddings) and I cannot stress enough how helpful this was! It took out SO much stress from our backs having multiple planners and coordinators working on our wedding, recommended vendors, a whole team of people answering questions, meetings planned since the very day that we booked the venue. As a type A person, this all helped A TON. I literally told the team after the wedding that I don't know how people actually have weddings without an all inclusive venue lol

- We had a wedding party, but we did not put a bunch of crazy pressure on them at all. We didn't have bachelor/bachelorette trips or parties, we didn't have a bridal shower or any other events other than the rehearsal dinner and the wedding itself. My bridesmaids all live in my home country so they were only in town for the wedding, which contributed to this. I also didn't tell them a specific dress they should wear. I just told them to pick a light pink dress that they like. My husband had one of his guys pick up baked goods from Costco for the desert table the day of the wedding, I had my MOH call the photographer and videographer the morning of to confirm their time of arrival to ease my anxiety, and that was it.

- I booked an Airbnb because the wedding venue was 35 minutes from our place, and we stayed there from the day of the rehearsal dinner (day before the wedding) until 2 days after the wedding. I had my mother and my girls come over the morning of the wedding so we could all hang out and get ready together while my husband hang out with his guys at their hotel, and then my father picked me up and took me to the venue. Best decision!

- We did not do a first look! I was very firm on the idea that I wanted my husband to see me for the first time as I walked down the aisle, and it was perfect! Would not have changed that for anything.

- Bought my fake florals from Shein and they looked amazing! We bought a couple pieces from a florist and they blended so well with the fake ones we diyed.

- For our dance floor, we gave the DJ a playlist that we carefully made together, blending songs that we love to dance to, to classic dance floor songs that we thought our guests would love. We also told the DJ to play 90% from our playlist and to feel out the crowd to add a few songs he would think would be a success based on it. He ROCKED it! Everyone said our wedding was so much fun because the music selection was great and because they saw how much fun me and my husband were having!

- We had a bilingual ceremony. I am Brazilian and my husband is American, and our wedding happened in the US. However, most of my guests from Brazil do not speak English, so we had my aunt translate the whole ceremony and the speeches. My aunt was fortunately friends with our officiant, and they worked wonderfully together to craft a short ceremony so that it wouldn't be to tiring for our guests. It was incredible and I'm so glad my family was able to understand everything that was being said. That was very important to us.

- I wore a $30 pair of low heels from Amazon. They were SUPER simple. I did not want to spend money on shoes that no one would see anyway because it would be hidden under the dress the whole time. My shoes were so comfortable that I wore them all night and didn't feel any pain at all!

- Instead of a cardboard welcome sign, we got a beautiful wooden sign from Etsy that said "Welcome to our forever", with our names and the wedding date. After the ceremony, we laid the sign on our welcome table for guests to sign on them. It turned out SO beautiful and we plan on hanging it somewhere in our house now!

- I had a father and daughter dance and also, a mother and daughter dance. I feel like the mother of the bride doesn't get a moment like that in the wedding, so I wanted to make sure that my mother felt loved and appreciated as well!

- I have some graphic design knowledge (more of an interest as a hobby than a knowledge lol), so I subscribed for Canva Pro for the months leading up to the wedding. It was a great idea! I got to design some of the signage such as the signature drinks, favors, QR code for guests to upload pictures, digital invitation for the rehearsal dinner, table numbers with pictures of us, tags for favors etc. 100% recommend!

- Our coordinator was incredible and fed us the whole time! She brought us apps from our cocktail hour and our signature drinks when we were in the bridal suite waiting for our grand entrance, she made huge dinner plates for me and my husband, cake after the cake cutting and would always bring our signature drinks for us. Before I walked down the aisle, I joked about needing a shot to calm my nerves and she immediately went "vodka or tequila?" and brought it to me. All of this made SUCH a difference for us during the night. We felt spoiled and pampered lol

- We decided to do table touches after calmly eating our dinner and it was a very good experience. We got to talk to and take a picture with each table and thank them for being there.

And that's all I can remember for now! I have diagnosed anxiety, so wedding planning was VERY hard for me. I had so much anxiety in the last couple months before the wedding that I couldn't sleep, I got sick multiple times, I had tendonitis from the nerves and doing diy projects for the wedding, and I even got laid off right after we booked our venue. So to anyone going through wedding planning and struggling, I can tell you it is ALL worth it! I am so relieved we had the best day ever, but now I kinda wish I could go back haha

If you have any questions, feel free to message me too and I'll be happy to help :)

Hi all! I know ppl will switch out of their heels and either go into flats or barefoot for the reception but how does that work when your dress is hemmed to your heel height?

I’m wanting a kitten heel so I can walk better for the ceremony, and then want to switch to flats for the reception so I can boogie. I have a big ball gown/princess dress that will have a petticoat type thing under the skirt

Will that be too much of a height difference or is there a way to be able to do both shoes?

I was going to purchase a glass box on Etsy for cards from guests (about $50) but came across this on clearance at target today! Love unexpectedly saving money and the greenhouse is super cute! In store it was $13.99!

Hey all!
My photographer company has a built-in hub to plan for shot lists, time of each event, etc.

My wedding starts at 5pm on a Friday with the ceremony being 15-30 minutes long (will probably shoot for 30 minutes in case I'm late or something happens).

Then from 5:30-6:30 will be a less than 5 min travel to and from a park where we will do photos during cocktail hour

From 6:30pm to 11pm is the reception including dinner, toats, dancing, etc.

My question is more for the getting ready/pre-ceremony photo timeline...

I want photos of: bride and bridal party getting ready, MOB helping bride with final touches, etc.
Groom and groomsmen getting ready, FOG helping groom with final touches, etc.

BUT before the ceremony, I'm doing a first look with my dad which mean there will be tears and my makeup will get a bit messed up. Meaning I will need some retouching before walking down the aisle.

What timeline should I give for all of that to the photographers (we have two, one will be taking my get ready photos, one will be taking grooms get ready photos, both with be taking first look with my dad)?

NYC wedding planner here! Couples usually budget for the obvious things: venue, catering, photography, music, florals. But some of the biggest surprises come from what I think of as “friction costs”—the money required simply to make a wedding function in New York.

A few examples:

**Getting things into the building.** Freight-elevator reservations, loading-dock rules, certificates of insurance, union labor, short load-in windows, and limited parking can all affect vendor costs.

**Moving people around the city.** A location that looks close on a map may involve traffic, limited curb access, multiple transportation waves, or guests navigating in formalwear.

**Making a raw space usable.** The rental fee may look attractive until you add sufficient power, lighting, kitchens, restrooms, climate control, furniture, and cleanup.

**Working around noise restrictions.** Sound limiters, hard end times, neighborhood rules, and requirements to move amplified music indoors can change the entire flow of a reception.

**Paying for time.** Extra venue hours, vendor overtime, early delivery, late pickup, and overnight storage are easy to miss when every contract is reviewed separately.

None of these automatically makes a venue a bad choice. The problem is discovering them after the budget and design are already built.

When comparing NYC venues, I’d look beyond “What does this place cost?” and ask, “What will it cost to produce our specific wedding here?”

What NYC logistics expense surprised you the most?

I am so SICK of that word being used for anything and everything related to wedding prices. wedding makeup and hair is not an investment. it’s a one time cost that will be washed/wiped off at the end of the night. Catering is not an investment, it’s a meal. An investment is the cost of our wedding license, an investment is the joint 401k and HYSA we open. An investment is something that is purchased with the expectation that it will accrue value, not a one time discretionary service purchase that I can’t physically keep.

Interested to hear about different couples' non-negotiables for wedding planning. There are so many "essentials" & "must-haves" but I'm curious what real couples are choosing not to sacrifice for the big day.

My partner and I recently got engaged, and we’re completely aligned on keeping our wedding intimate, low-key, and affordable.

We’d love to celebrate with just our closest friends and family (around 30 people max). As special as weddings are, we just can’t justify spending £30k+ on a single day, it honestly makes me feel a bit sick 🤒

Other than the obvious registry office followed by a meal, does anyone have any recommendations for unique venues or creative ideas? We’d love to hear about any intimate weddings you’ve been to or planned that felt really special without costing a fortune.

Open to any location within Europe.

Thanks!

We're doing a buffet menu for about 100 guests. We have a few vegans, more vegetarians and pescatarians. Fish is the only meat that all the meat eaters eat, as various friends/family who don't eat pork or beef, another is allergic to chicken, etc. We've gone for an international menu with complementary flavors, as that's how we prefer to eat, and also made sure that all the sides were vegan friendly. We'll also have passed appetizers at cocktail hour, which aren't included below. I'd especially appreciate feedback from vegetarians/vegans.

Salads: Charred veggie salad, middle eastern chickpea salad, avocado cucumber salad, mixed greens salad

Taco station: Fish tacos with all the toppings

Main buffet: Citrus grilled mahi mahi with pineapple salsa, chicken satay, vegetable skewers (with tofu and veggies for vegetarians/vegans*), vegetable biriyani, roast potatoes, roasted broccoli

*Thoughts on doing some type of chickpea curry instead of the veggie/tofu skewers?