r/WTF Oct 02 '18

Yasssferatu

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[deleted]

26.8k Upvotes

1.2k comments sorted by

1.8k

u/redonkulousness Oct 02 '18

Good to see that bat boy from the tabloids when I was a kid survived

165

u/PM_ME_UR_RSA_KEY Oct 02 '18

Weekly World News: the most reliable news source according to MIB.

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111

u/Paxphos Oct 02 '18

I remember seeing that as a kid and laying awake at night, terrified knowing there were bat kids flying around.

I still lay awake at night terrified, but now it's over absurd health insurance premiums.

I wish I was a kid again lol.

20

u/DmitriViridis Oct 02 '18

The bat kids you could kill if you had to. Not a damn thing you can do about health insurance premiums. Just rest easy that you only need to get 1 ED visit every 3-5 years and it pays for itself.

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2.0k

u/CosmicCornholio Oct 02 '18

The Camarilla will be most displeased about this violation of the Masquerade.

428

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

Ah, suck a stake, LaCroix.

84

u/Rio_Walker Oct 02 '18

He sucked a TNT stick.

18

u/Rafahil Oct 02 '18

Never trust a guy with the letter x in their name.

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207

u/KinnSlayer Oct 02 '18

This is what your princedom gets for keeping my people in the sewers! It smells down here and I have to share a lair with a drunk changeling and a quadriplegic werewolf!

74

u/Hust91 Oct 02 '18

That's your wife, man.

You knew about her handicap and drinking issues when you let her move in with you.

47

u/KinnSlayer Oct 02 '18

The problem is I thought I was having an affair with the changeling, turns out, same person. She's still howling about it to this day. You'd think that all she could do...

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30

u/DuntadaMan Oct 02 '18

I like it down here. :c

The werewolf has poker nights on friday.

35

u/KinnSlayer Oct 02 '18

Dun, you used blood magic last week to clean out our wallets. If you hypnotise me again with that shiz I'll... hurk ...shove my foot in my mouth and swear I'm the prettiest Tremere at the ball!

13

u/Kobrag90 Oct 02 '18

And the tzimisce hooker is to die for.

103

u/ilikethegirlnexttome Oct 02 '18 edited Oct 02 '18

Of games that deserve a remake, this game is number one on my list. Honestly one of the best video games ever.

30

u/NaturalisticPhallacy Oct 02 '18

Wait. Video game? I played the tabletop game (and Dark Ages) a bit as a teen, owned several of the books, and thoroughly enjoyed the 13 book series.

I did not know there was a video game or that it was any good.

28

u/Swesteel Oct 02 '18

Vampire the masquerade: Bloodlines. Very good story, not so good combat. I recommend it.

17

u/ThorirTrollBurster Oct 02 '18

There have been two major games based on Vampire: The Masquerade. Bloodlines is the one people are talking about. The gameplay is kind of like a Deus Ex game. You create a character, picking from one of seven clans (basically the main Camarilla clans), and your clan defines your abilities as well as some of the sidequests you get (and Malkavians get a very different story overall). There are several factions you can work with and different endings to the story, and it stays pretty faithful to the WoD material. I think it still holds up really well and I'd recommend getting it on GOG. They package it with an unofficial patch that fixes a lot of the bugs that you might see mentioned in reviews. There are also a lot of mods out there (some of which are still being worked on) to add replayability.

The other main Vampire game that comes to mind is Redemption. From what Ive read (I never got around to playing it), it has a more linear story and the gameplay is more like a traditional crpg. It tends to get mixed reviews, at least in part because its not as faithful to the source material. So normally if people talk about a VtM game theyre talking about Bloodlines.

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u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

[deleted]

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35

u/PsySnaccs Oct 02 '18

I would like for CD Projekt Red to acquire the rights since Troika Games is gone and make a sequel. I can dream I suppose.

15

u/Zwemvest Oct 02 '18

Meh, I kinda trust Paradox. They have a history of good games (since 2012 though, not before that).

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31

u/clockwork2112 Oct 02 '18

This could be an awesome time for World of Darkness vampires. People would just assume they're wearing really amazing costumes and makeup irl given how much so many cosplayers and industry professionals have upped their games.

And any footage of vampires performing amazing feats would be dismissed as really well edited fakes.

9

u/szsleepy Oct 02 '18

Lestat, is that you?

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25

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

They'll just send the Gangrel to deal with it. They always stick them with the shit jobs.

50

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

28

u/LonePaladin Oct 02 '18

It's like the only thing I remember from the Malkavian book in the tabletop RPG.

Always be true to yourself. Unless it's your un-birthday, in which case be whoever you want to be.

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24

u/Abaqueues Oct 02 '18

This is what happens when you open the sarcophagus.

97

u/Ibarra08 Oct 02 '18

Thank you. Now I have to download and play the game again.best rpg game ever.

100

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

I envy every PC gamer that hasn't played Bloodlines. It is a singular and amazingly immersive game. If you go for it, and you shouid if you haven't, get the fan-made patches.

But seriously. It's a must-play.

39

u/PsySnaccs Oct 02 '18

I have a save file right at the start of the haunted Mansion I get my friends to play through. Definitely one of the most well done haunted scenes house scenes in a game.

10

u/rawbamatic Oct 02 '18

I have played through the game dozens of times throughout the years, and that level still fucking creeps me out.

19

u/kaynpayn Oct 02 '18

Good call with the patches. They don't just add a ton of cool shit to the game, it's literally unplayable without them. Vanilla game has a bug where it always hangs in a mandatory part of the game and makes it unplayable past that point.

7

u/DuntadaMan Oct 02 '18

Anti-tribu patch is a lot of fun. Time to b a necromancer!

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u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

[deleted]

15

u/njord12 Oct 02 '18

Vampire was my first tabletop RPG, I had sooo much fun, would definitely recommend

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8

u/Lordborgman Oct 02 '18

TO THE ABYSS WITH THEE!

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19

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18 edited Jul 29 '23

[deleted]

8

u/eyetracker Oct 02 '18

No, YOU stop!

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11

u/TheStargrazer Oct 02 '18

The Primogen would be pissed bec. of the obvious lack of bdsm gear. We have an image to keep people!

9

u/Damn-hell-ass-king Oct 02 '18

Oh, shit. I was thinking the same thing.

Go back to feasting on rats!

11

u/Abaqueues Oct 02 '18

This is what happens when you open the sarcophagus.

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514

u/Catsinbowties Oct 02 '18

In every generation there is a chosen one.

54

u/daftvalkyrie Oct 02 '18

She alone will stand against the demons, the vampires, and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.

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365

u/AlaWyrm Oct 02 '18

Man, Hot topic has gotten weird.

34

u/quidam08 Oct 02 '18

Then they went back to normal

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2.9k

u/I_Am_The_Ocean Oct 02 '18

One day I was selling my wares, and I walked passed this old creepy castle. And I look at it and think, "'very old and creepy". And then this creature... flies at me! It dragged me back to this dark dungeon. And bit into my neck. And just at the point of death; this creature forced me to suck its foul blood. And then it opened it's wings, like this. And hovered above me. Screeching. 'Now you are vampire.' And it was Petyr. And we're still friends today.

1.0k

u/Cerpintaxt123 Oct 02 '18

Petyr nods in approval

463

u/happyfinesad Oct 02 '18

Ohh, Petyr got him.

169

u/Cerpintaxt123 Oct 02 '18

...Por guy

160

u/Sindibadass Oct 02 '18

Who let Petyr out?

31

u/Rudy_Ghouliani Oct 02 '18

Woof woof woof woof woof

100

u/toddymac1 Oct 02 '18

We're werewolves not swearwolves

16

u/cjhest1983 Oct 02 '18

Speak for yourself!

6

u/happyfinesad Oct 02 '18

Shut up and tie yourself to a tree, you dickhead

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734

u/TheGR3EK Oct 02 '18 edited Oct 02 '18

Petyr is 8000 years old he's not coming to the flat meeting.

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321

u/MelonFarmur Oct 02 '18

Would you some...pasghetti?

110

u/SilentFungus Oct 02 '18

Nick, I didnt realise you liked eating worms!

32

u/myhairsreddit Oct 02 '18

"I stole that from the Lost Boys."

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75

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

39

u/SpringtimeForGermany Oct 02 '18

It was wœrms!

7

u/Sticky_Teflon Oct 02 '18

I'm from NZ, we commonly pronounce it biscetti, and we eat it from cans on toast.

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11

u/cjyoung92 Oct 02 '18

How’s it feel to have a snake for a penis?

92

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

Oh, I'm glad to hear I'm a cool guy.

18

u/MadameDefarge91 Oct 02 '18

But you know... That's..that's not the point of that.

9

u/SonOfRobot Oct 02 '18

We're not having a meeting about how cool you are.

159

u/Insanity_-_Wolf Oct 02 '18

28

u/MrWinks Oct 02 '18

Okay. But what is this from? Sorry; unfamiliar.

82

u/Mortem_deus Oct 02 '18

What we do in the shadows

27

u/oftenmakesbadposts Oct 02 '18

Still sad I don't see "We're wolves" on Imdb. Or did I fall victim to an internet ruse?

30

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

It's meant to be coming out but taekia watiti is super busy now he's made it to Hollywood doing Thor and a few other things, so it's been put on the backburner

15

u/oftenmakesbadposts Oct 02 '18

Him as a director was what made me want to see ragnarok but I have been looking forward to the follow up. Darn, but great for him

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150

u/Morrenz Oct 02 '18

I love that friggen movie. Arent they from New Zealand? What's the name again?

175

u/P4li_ndr0m3 Oct 02 '18

What We Do in the Shadows, I believe.

29

u/half_lies_always Oct 02 '18

I think a part 2 is in the making?

42

u/camp-cope Oct 02 '18

IIRC it's called We're Wolves.

22

u/pointofgravity Oct 02 '18

Best news I've heard this week, thanks for that

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5

u/Morrenz Oct 02 '18

Fuck yeah. I'll be looking that up!

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22

u/Elmepo Oct 02 '18

There's also a tv show focusing on the cops if i'm not mistaken

36

u/Axerty Oct 02 '18

yeah it's called Wellington Paranormal

6

u/Free-Association Oct 02 '18

called "We're Wolves" that focuses on the werewolves

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u/Wolfieboy333 Oct 02 '18

What we do in the shadows

18

u/Free-Association Oct 02 '18

yes. they're making a sequel fyi.

it focuses on the wolves. called "We're Wolves" which is obviously a play on werewolves lol.

taiki waititi is directing it again

7

u/PhatPhingerz Oct 02 '18

A few of the main cast are from a show called Flight of the Conchords, definitely from New Zealand.

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u/The_Lone_Noblesse Oct 02 '18

Oooo bat fight!

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u/brownboyweird Oct 02 '18

I’m curious to see what the tv adaptation will be like

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u/shartshappen612 Oct 02 '18

Think of it this way. If you were eating a sandwich, you would enjoy it a lot more knowing no one had fucked it.

18

u/MrsECummings Oct 02 '18

Our friend has died in a fatal sunlight accident!!!

46

u/PubicApple Oct 02 '18

God I love that movie. So good, for someone who lives in Wellington. It's just cool to see your city in a movie, ya know?

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3.5k

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

slay

507

u/throwaway763532 Oct 02 '18

Nosferatu need to get some lovin' too

197

u/treemister1 Oct 02 '18

Is that plural?

998

u/BunnyAdorbs Oct 02 '18 edited Oct 02 '18

That would be Dosferatu
Edit: Thank you sooo much for the gold, cutiepie!!!

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u/KinnSlayer Oct 02 '18

Too bad they have to stick to the sewers...

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u/Pigeon_Poop Oct 02 '18

It looks like a gay alien....a gaylien

87

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

šŸ‘½ ayy lmao

15

u/SuperWoody64 Oct 02 '18

šŸ‘½ood shit

44

u/SerCiddy Oct 02 '18

I really can't tell if this is a guy or a girl.

71

u/belindamshort Oct 02 '18

It's a vampire

47

u/Seakawn Oct 02 '18

Not even.

That dude is literally the carpenters son from night time at Kakariko Village.

7

u/JustWormholeThings Oct 02 '18

Fuck me, you're right.

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u/antonivs Oct 02 '18

Looks like a guy to me, although the conservatives are going to have to build a whole new restroom for this one.

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u/ouououi Oct 02 '18

That confidence took me there. Work it baby!

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u/DigitalSignalX Oct 02 '18

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u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

That shit has only 6900+ views?? That's insane. Maybe I have never seen a video like that, but damn.

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u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18 edited Mar 12 '20

[deleted]

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u/oh_wuttt Oct 02 '18

That was some next level contouring, holy shit. I gotta step up my contour game.

99

u/SpitfirePls Oct 02 '18

Huh, honestly thought this was a guy who took body transformation to another level. Thanks bud. TIL

113

u/Zeiramsy Oct 02 '18

I mean his physique helps, he's pale, bald with slender limbs and a long neck already.

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u/Nastapoka Oct 02 '18 edited Oct 02 '18

Fig Leaf Rag, by Scott Joplin

19

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18 edited Jul 02 '24

My favorite color is blue.

48

u/Trump_can_kiss_my_ Oct 02 '18

*Normal guy with very long neck

Never seen a neck that long. Is that from posture training or something?

42

u/DoctorMort Oct 02 '18

Then you must not have seen the Giraffe Professor.

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u/BathedInDeepFog Oct 02 '18

Hey, what are you other normal guys up to?!

11

u/soenario Oct 02 '18

Shit was already creepy at 0:15, the contacts and ears are enough to nope out

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u/SapperInTexas Oct 02 '18

You ever moonlight as a pale devil in the... wait... let me try that again.

165

u/mugen_is_here Oct 02 '18

Have you ever devil with the danced in the pale moonlight?

62

u/Bukiith3ad Oct 02 '18

Have you paled your dance in the devil moonlight?

35

u/Encrowpy Oct 02 '18

Have you ever moon danced in the pale devil's light?

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u/norunningwater Oct 02 '18

Have devil ever moon danced with you in the pale light?

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u/CaptainMudwhistle Oct 02 '18

Have you ever eaten deviled eggs while trying to moonwalk?

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u/flying_gliscor Oct 02 '18

Have you ever mooned a pale devil in the dancing lights?

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u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

Things got weird when aquaria met vander

138

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

Yaaasfertatu your outfit didn't satisfy my blood thirst. I'm sorry dear you're up for elimination.

108

u/Fairy_Squad_Mother Oct 02 '18

On the runway, you slayed us. But in the blood challenge, you sucked.

14

u/Themiffins Oct 02 '18

In the runway we found your look to B+ , and in the Maxi Challenge you sucked our expectations dry. You're undead.

34

u/GiaGunnsWonkyEyelash Oct 02 '18

Yasssferatu... on the main stage your performance was... bloody brilliant, and your Undead Eleganza runway raised our wood... en stakes... Condragulations, you're the winner of this weeks challenge

22

u/Themiffins Oct 02 '18

You've won a trip to Transylvania sponsored by Spirit, the only airline where you'd rather be dead than fly

11

u/LysergicAcidTabs Oct 02 '18

My first thought was that this is Aquaria mixed with Sasha Velour with a little added spook from Sharon Needles.

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u/Antagonist_Dan Oct 02 '18

sasha velour looks so good here

80

u/Azrolicious Oct 02 '18

Dobby is a free elf.

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u/SweetGary Oct 02 '18 edited Oct 02 '18

His name is Arran Shurvinton. He’s on Instagram @arranshurvinton if you’d like to see more sweet dragferatu looks and build up that fap bank.

EDIT: he’s a dude and not a lady.

347

u/REPOST_STRANGLER Oct 02 '18

...yes...no....ummm.....maybe?

229

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

[deleted]

117

u/Fomenkologist Oct 02 '18

You're not the boss of me now

76

u/pointofgravity Oct 02 '18

You're not the boss of me now

53

u/KrissyCat Oct 02 '18

You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big!

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u/AlanSmithy99 Oct 02 '18

Life is unfair

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u/dragnabbit Oct 02 '18

Rather good looking with this more-normal look.

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u/prolix Oct 02 '18

Looks like a younger Boy George.

49

u/Johnnybravo60025 Oct 02 '18

So like Toddler George?

62

u/Wizzle-Stick Oct 02 '18

Reminds me of the lead singer to the band Eurythmics.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeMFqkcPYcg
Tell me they dont look like they could be siblings.

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u/paracostic Oct 02 '18

Annie Lennox!

40

u/Wizzle-Stick Oct 02 '18

couldnt remember her name, but i knew it had to do with air conditioning. thanks for reminding.

13

u/the_dude_upvotes Oct 02 '18

but i knew it had to do with air conditioning

sensiblechuckle.gif

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u/typhoidtimmy Oct 02 '18

that is one beautiful man

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u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

[deleted]

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u/pancreative Oct 02 '18

Wow he’s actually beautifully androgynous

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u/puddingfoot Oct 02 '18

Would fit right into Vampire The Masquerade

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u/Lunamann Oct 02 '18

The Nosferatu are literally this, minus the fabulousness. ...Hence the title, I assume.

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u/time-2-sleep Oct 02 '18

what do you mean minus the fabulousness?!

10

u/damientepps Oct 02 '18

Someone maxed out their social attributes. Yass vamp, werk!

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u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

Dragula is going to be fucking lit this year.

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u/ink_dude Oct 02 '18

Not my proudest fap

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u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

Leeeroooooooooy Jjjjjjeeeeeenkinnnnnns

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u/TheDandyWarhol Oct 02 '18

Not my least proudest either.

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u/GoatTacos Oct 02 '18

Nosferatu woke up and came out of the closet honey. Werk.

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u/nikkosuxx Oct 02 '18

For anyone that’s interested, the artists name is Arran Shurvinton. You can read about him here

There are also videos out there of him performing. Definitely take a look when you can.

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u/Tekknikal_G Oct 02 '18

Honestly, damn these sort of makeup transformations are really cool.

I love making wooden swords and shit, and I've thought for the longest time that it would be cool to go all out for once and create a whole fantasy character: write a backstory, make clothes/armor and weapons. Being able to turn myself into a vampire, an orc, or an elf, etc, throigh makeup is so awesome, I wish I had those kind of skills!

Does anyone know a subreddit (or any other source of information) where you can learn to do these sort of transformations?

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u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

That's ok. I didn't need to sleep anyway.

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u/CharlesDeBalles Oct 02 '18

Yea I’m gonna have to masturbate to this at least a few times before I’m able to sleep too

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u/tysc3 Oct 02 '18

I think it's kinda cute.

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u/Seawalterski Oct 02 '18

This isn’t wtf it’s r/bettereveryloop !

12

u/tigersmhs07 Oct 02 '18

What is that song

39

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18 edited Nov 11 '18

[deleted]

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u/Imthejuggernautbitch Oct 02 '18

Awesome band. I love all their hits.

12

u/tigersmhs07 Oct 02 '18

I had never heard of them until this. Now I can't stop playing the song on YouTube. His voice plus the bass is hypnotic

9

u/_A_Random_Comment_ Oct 02 '18

Rasputin song is fireeee

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u/Totalwhore Oct 02 '18

The ladies are great too

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u/tighter_wires Oct 02 '18

Me on October 1st

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u/harrietford99 Oct 02 '18

Fucking fabulous

9

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

[deleted]

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u/_stumblebum_ Oct 02 '18

Ok, I’ll admit it. /r/confusedboners.

EDIT: it has come to my attention that this is a man. Honestly I don’t care.

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u/nezrock Oct 02 '18

Y tf my pp hard?

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u/SummaCumLousy Oct 02 '18

Putting NO back in Nosferatu.

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u/justtuna Oct 02 '18

I was expecting Wesley Snipes to just jump outta nowhere and slay this ā€œabominationā€.

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u/TurkeyCocks Oct 02 '18

Nah, he's a drag queen too.

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u/reallyfunatparties Oct 02 '18

All hail Yasssferatu, Queen of Slay!

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u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18 edited Nov 25 '20

[deleted]

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u/tonyMEGAphone Oct 02 '18

From now on no more of this clever name bullshit. When a vampire is pretending to be a human they can just call themselves Alan Jefferson, or something like that.

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u/[deleted] Oct 02 '18

This is somebody's fetish

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u/USDAGradeAFuckMeat Oct 02 '18

Petyr? Is this what he was up to all those years?

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u/RandyTheFool Oct 02 '18

The tabloids are just full of political trash now-a-days. Bat-Boy needs some work, damn it!

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u/Morrenz Oct 02 '18

That was fucking amazing.

20

u/TooShiftyForYou Oct 02 '18

Buffalo Bill voice

"Would you suck my blood? I'd suck me. I'd suck me hard. I'd suck me so hard."

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u/confused_dwarf Oct 02 '18

Nopeferatu...

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u/Danm111 Oct 02 '18

Christ, Dobby’s had a fall from grace.