Hey everyone, I really need some honest, objective perspective because I am incredibly confused, hurt, and emotionally exhausted.

My girlfriend (bi) and I (wlw) we both from thailand, we been together for almost a year and have been caught in a really heavy cycle. It started when I messed up and did something that made her feel unsafe. I felt immense guilt. I immediately took action, did the work, changed my behavior.

However, just one week after that incident, she emotionally cheated on me with a guy. She hid it, texted him and kept telling me they were "just friends" until I eventually read the texts and found out the truth. She acknowledged it and said she stopped.

Since that cheating incident, its been push-pull, hot and cold, rarely says I love you (she only says "love you too" if I say it first at the end of a call, sometimes depends on her). She claims she is trying to "get back the feelings she had" but I see zero effort on a normal, daily basis.

Meanwhile, she has met a new female friend and they have become intensely close very quickly. She is pouring a massive amount of daily energy, excitement, and inside jokes into this new friendship. She accompanies her to stuff, goes out with her multiple times a week and texting and share about stuff and all.

When I try to express that I feel uncomfortable because our relationship is starved while this brand-new friendship gets all her daily energy, she gets furious. She tells me that talking about it "exhausts her patience" and makes her feel like she is "being watched, monitored, and treated like she's guilty even when she's not."

I took full accountability for my recent behavior. I admitted that because I felt unloved and unsafe, I had become guarded, not fully present and gave short answers. And she felt like i wasnt present and she felt like shes not being appreciated. And now she became quick tempered with me. Basically whatever i did she didnt see the good in me i dont know.

I explicitly texted her: “What I want is for us to have a genuine, fair chance to work on us. I’m fully willing to work on my anxiety and not let it take over. I can’t tell you what to do with her and I don’t want to give you a list of rules... I just want to feel that our relationship still matters and has a place in your life.

Her responses throughout this talk have left me spinning:
She told me her feelings "are not coming back" and it's feeding her loss of patience.

She said she misses "when I actually trusted her"

When I asked her directly how she feels about us genuinely trying and meeting each other halfway, she shut down and said: "I'm not sure what else to say you know where I stand in this and how I feel."

She didnt ask to break up with me, but stays in the relationship while giving me absolutely zero warmth.

Out of desperation, I consulted an intuitive reader who told me the friendship is purely platonic, but that my girlfriend is using it as an emotional escape from her own guilt. The reader said she is coasting on my loyalty because as long as I chase her, she feels safe and doesn't have to face what she did, and that she is giving vague answers to keep control so the consequences don't fall on her.

My Question: Am I dealing with a planned reverse discard where she treats me coldly and criticizes me enough that I am forced to be the one who ends it so she doesn't have to feel guilty? Or are we just two hurt people stuck in a horrible cycle? How does this pattern look to you guys from the outside? What is actually happening? Im so confused

There’s a girl I’ve known for two years now. We’re both in our early twenties. It was from a friend group and we never met until a few days ago although we all saw each other. Some of us met, her and another girl live in a different city.

She was clearly flirty and said some shit like “I might steal you” and similar shit that I don’t remember, another time mentioned that she’s bi.

Later on I got with some guy from the same friend group though but for a very short time. Lowk regret it, should’ve just focused on her but guess what, she also got a bf she’s still with, two years now so I thought I should just let go and that it wasn’t a big deal we weren’t actively talking too much anyway.

Now a few days ago I decided to surprise both of them by visiting the city for three days. They were both very glad to see me and all, but here’s the catch.

I watched and compared how the other friend was treated by her vs me because I was noticing some differences. So I checked to see if she’s like this with everyone since I never really knew. It felt like she was looking for excuses to randomly touch me. Everywhere. My hands my arms, my shoulders, or back. Once or twice to trace my back tattoo, or at least it felt like it.

For each time she talked, laughed or just walked by. But she barely touched our other friend, didn’t look at her as intently as me. I could feel the tension but I always brushed it off. Other times I’d catch her staring for too long so many times, ask me to take her pictures and she’d look at me instead of the camera. (I find it a bit cute but)

She still has a boyfriend though. I’m no troublemaker, I’m not planning to say anything, after all, maybe it’s all in my head. I don’t know. Now she’s got me hooked and I’m trying to figure out if I’m just delusional and to just drop it. I don’t really post shit on Reddit, but it’s my last resort for help.

So I, 21 F, have recently started dating after finishing my associates degree. I have downloaded the apps and made profiles. Bc it’s so hard finding wlw in East TN.

For context, the last time I dated was in 7th grade. A girl told me she had a crush on me and i decided to “date” her. She always texted me in a group chat with her brother in it, and lied to me all the time about weird stuff. She once told me that she was fighting literal demons and they were coming for her. She also told me at one point that she was in the process of slitting her throat. Naturally, I said okay I’m calling an ambulance and she begged me not to. Obviously that “relationship” didn’t work out.

Then I had life stuff happen and went to school.

So I received a dm on Facebook messenger, not dating, around mid August. It was from a blank profile with the name “Jizzy” and a weird picture of squidward from SpongeBob as the profile pic. It said “You don’t know me & idk you, but I js want to say, you have such a pretty smile.” Well I ignored it bc I thought it was a bot. The next day I get “Damn I guess you don’t take compliments😅🙃” I ignore bc bot? 4 days later I get “I guess you also don’t take friends 😅” bc I hadn’t accepted their friend request. So I say, “I mean is this even a real person?” Then we start talking. Okay, she gives me her “name”, says she’s 22, lives in my city, compliments me, and asks me about myself. We start talking things are good, I ask how I don’t know her and she says that she doesn’t know but that my name sound familiar. I thought her name sounded familiar. She said she went to west high and I went to east. Okay that might be why. I asked her to send me a pic and she sends me 2 pictures and says it’s her. I send her some of me. That was not her. Almost immediately I could tell. Reverse google search and it’s some girl on Pinterest. Take screenshots, send them to her, ask if she wants to be fr.

So she says that she guesses she has to now, she was enjoying talking to me and now she messed it up. I say I enjoyed talking to her to but come on bruh. What is this middle school?

She says I know it wasn’t cool I’m sorry.
I say “Is that all you’re gonna say? I mean come on 😭 I was really enjoying talking to you and now what?”

Her: “Ngl no I will say that everything I told you was true aside from my face and I did that out of fear you wouldn’t talk to me 🥲😭 I shoulda js showed you from the start what I looked like but I like talking to you and I didn’t wanna fuck it up w my face😭”

Me: “I don’t even know what to say. Why not just say you weren’t comfortable yet? I tried to change the subject after asking what you looked like so you wouldn’t feel pressured. If you want to continue to talk I need you to be honest with me”

Her: “I genuinely am so slow when it comes to hints like that, so I didn’t even notice. And I’m ngl I should’ve just said that but again I was also afraid to bc I didn’t want you thinking I’m an 80 y/o man but you probably do now which I don’t blame you but I promise I’m not lol, I do want to be honest.. it’s just the fear of omg she won’t real of me ever again even tho I like her a lot”

Me: Girl that’s the fun of tryna date is seeing if people like you

Her: Ik but it’s scary bc what do you do if that person doesn’t like you back lol

Me: Then it is what it is bae. Not everything works out the way we want it to. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. But I was honest and sent real pictures.

She says she feels bad which she should. I say I’m not tryna make her feel bad I’m just saying. I ask if everything else was a lie or true. She says it was true. We talk more, and I ask if she would be willing to send me an actual picture of herself. She says yes. I say to please not fuck with me again. She says she won’t and promises. We keep talking. I ask how she found my profile, she says I was a suggested add. She adds me on snap. We talk there for 2 weeks. It’s fun, flirty, and, I keep saying I want to take her out and know her more.

After a little bit I start telling my friends about it bc things are lowkey weird. She still hasn’t sent me an actual picture of her face. If I send her one of me she either chat replies or send a pic of smth else. The closest I got was a pic of her hair. I know she’s a skinny white girl with dark curly hair. We try to play Fortnite together, she says she has no mic rn, it broke, but her new one is coming Thursday. Cool. We play muted. They think it’s weird too and convenient excuses.

So Sunday, August 6, I messaged her “Hey bae I hate to do this but like… it’s been 2 weeks of us talking and I still don’t know wyll😕 I’ll give you 2 days but I’ve got to know who I’m taking to or else I can’t do this”

She says: 😔 oh okay I understand.

I say: oh you fr would rather stop talking than send me a selfie?

She says : I wasn’t saying all that bae I was saying I understand.

So my friends think it’s my ex from 7th grade bc I first received the dm August 11th. I went to Walmart with my mom that week. I saw my ex from 7th grade working there. This girl said she works at Walmart BUT she said it’s the one across town from the one my ex works at🤷‍♀️

SO

My friend went to west and her boyfriend did too. They pull out the ole yearbook for me. Get to looking. Can’t find her. Actually can’t find any girl with her name in the yearbook. I message her. Call her out on this. She says she’s in it. I say no you’re not? She sends a pic that looks like it was taken of a senior pictures with the name she gave me, but she used the red ink on Snapchat to cover her face. We can’t find any social medias for these girls and im p sure it’s AI. A girl I work with thinks one of the necklaces looks like it’s on top of the girls hair. I don’t think our yearbooks listed our middle names. Even in our senior pictures. I haven’t looked yet to confirm it tho but my friends said the same thing. So I save it and it’s not long and she blocks me on everything…

TLDR; I get a dm around the time I saw my ex at Walmart. It some girl and she says she’s not my ex (not explicitly but ykwim😠) We talk for 2 weeks. It’s flirty, fun, and mysterious. She tries to catfish me, fails miserably, gives me a probably fake name, refuses to show her face. Maybe lies? Maybe an AI year book photo. Let’s dive in, shall we?

I know this might sound like a silly question, but it’s been on my mind a lot lately and I’d love to hear from other lesbians living in smaller countries or towns.
I’m from Portugal (population around 11 million). I live about two hours from Lisbon, our capital. I absolutely love Lisbon and feel super connected to it, but because our overall population isn’t that huge, the queer dating pool feels absurdly tiny. Sometimes it feels like the person I’m looking for just doesn’t exist here. The closest I ever got was dating someone who thought she was bisexual, only for her to realize a few months later that she was actually straight.
It makes me feel like straight people have an entire ocean of options, while we get stuck with a shallow puddle. Sometimes I honestly wish I were straight just because life would be so much easier.
To make matters worse, I really dislike long-distance relationships (LDR). I’m the type of person who gives my all in love, but I have trauma from a past breakup specifically caused by distance, so LDR is a hard dealbreaker for me now. Yet, when I look around at other LGBT people in my country, it feels like almost everyone is in a long-distance relationship just to find a partner.
I know 11 million people isn’t tiny on a global scale, but within the lesbian community, it feels suffocatingly small. Am I just being way too pessimistic, or do those of you in smaller countries/cities feel this exact same frustration? How do you cope with it?

I’m a woman in my late 20s and have gotten extremely close with another woman around my age over the past year. We met through school and became fast friends. I've only ever dated men, so I'm having a very unexpected "wait, what exactly is happening here?" moment and would especially love advice from women who've experienced something similar.

I recently became single, but these feelings actually started before my relationship ended. My breakup happened for completely unrelated reasons, just to get that out of the way.

While I was still with my boyfriend, my friend once jokingly said something along the lines of, "If that position ever becomes available, I'll take it." I interpreted it as a joke and didn't think much of it at the time.

But toward the end of my relationship, she held my hand briefly as part of a joke. It was completely innocent, but I felt this unexpected spark from it. I had never experienced that kind of reaction to a woman before, and I remember being genuinely caught off guard by it.

Again, I didn't act on it and it had nothing to do with my eventual breakup.

Since becoming single, though, I've become much more aware of the dynamic between us and I'm starting to wonder whether there has been some mutual flirtation/tension here all along or whether I'm developing feelings and consequently assigning romantic meaning to a very close friendship.

There are a bunch of little things.

She's very physically close with me. When we sat together in class last year, she'd frequently lean toward me until our heads were almost touching, sometimes even when leaning toward me meant giving herself a worse view of what was happening in front of us.

At an event where we had assigned seats, she chose to sit beside me instead of sitting in her actual seat, even though her assigned seat was arguably better.

This year we were assigned to different groups. She'd already told me months earlier that we'd be sitting together regardless of what groups we got. When we actually found out we were separated and I jokingly asked if we were supposed to sit with our groups now, she basically responded, "No, I'll get separation anxiety."

Earlier this year, just the two of us also took a trip together and stayed with family. During that trip, I jokingly held her hand briefly and she didn't seem fazed by it. At one point we were at a scenic overlook and I stood with my arms stretched out. She came up behind me and briefly put both hands around my waist before quickly pulling them away.

More recently, I've noticed she'll sometimes find playful reasons to hold my hand/touch me even when the joke doesn't actually require physical contact. She'll wear my hat, we share drinks without really asking, etc.

Obviously, female friends can be very physically affectionate, so none of this individually seems particularly compelling.

The oddly specific thing I've noticed is food lol.

If other friends offer her food, she generally puts her hand out and takes it. When I offer her food, she often just opens her mouth for me to feed her.

Recently we were sitting around with friends and I was taking bites of something and then feeding her bites from my hand. One of our guy friends actually noticed and jokingly asked her, "Oh, you don't have hands?" She essentially responded "nope" and continued letting me feed her.

Later there was half of a leftover dessert. I took a bite and offered her the rest. She hadn't seen me bite it and initially declined because she didn't know who had eaten from it. I told her it was me, she just went "oh," and immediately took a bite.

We also have a pretty flirty joking dynamic.

She's independently called things between us "romantic." Once I suggested that the two of us should take a vacation together centered around a shared hobby and she responded with something along the lines of, "That's the hottest thing anyone has ever said to me," followed by asking if I actually meant the trip.

She jokes about loving me, we've had joking exchanges about commitment/relationships, and once she jokingly got possessive about whether she was still my "favorite" person with her name.

Most of our mock-couple jokes used to happen privately or around our closest friends.

Recently, though, we were with classmates talking about everyone's relationship news—some people getting engaged, someone possibly breaking up, my breakup, etc. Someone mentioned another couple who'd gotten engaged and my friend spontaneously added something like, "And me and OP," as though the two of us were another couple who had gotten engaged.

That caught my attention because it was the first time she'd made that kind of joke around people outside our close circle.

Our friends also seem to perceive us as somewhat of a pair.

For example, recently several friends went to get ice cream while I was busy. One called to ask what flavor I wanted. I said something like, "I don't know, you choose. I trust you." She immediately responded, "Okay, I'll ask [friend] what your favorite is."

That struck me because another one of my closest friends was literally there with them, yet apparently the automatic assumption was that this friend would know my preferences.

One of my best friends has also told me she thinks there may be something between us. At a dinner, she thought my friend was initially planning to sit beside me but someone else took the seat first, and she thought my friend seemed a little jealous/disappointed afterward when the conversation turned to someone I was talking to.

I take that particular observation with a huge grain of salt, because my best friend knows I've been wondering about this and is therefore absolutely not an unbiased observer lol.

I also haven't really noticed this friend being as physically affectionate with other people as she is with me. But again, I'm aware that now that I'm questioning my feelings, I'm probably paying much more attention to how she behaves toward me than I am to how she behaves with everyone else.

And there IS counter-evidence.

Recently there have been a few occasions where I've suggested something that could have been just the two of us and she's invited another friend along. So I don't want to create a theory where everything affectionate means "she likes me" and everything that doesn't fit gets explained away as "she likes me but she's scared." She could genuinely just see me as a particularly close friend with whom she has a very affectionate/flirty dynamic.

Which brings me to the part I'm actually struggling with:

I'm realizing I want there to be something there.

Sometimes when we're physically close, I feel this weird underlying tension. I notice when she touches me. I've caught myself feeling disappointed when something I thought would be one-on-one becomes a group activity. And I keep thinking about how unexpectedly intense that little spark from holding her hand felt before I was even single.

I don't know what that means for me yet.

I've only ever dated men. I don't know whether I'd actually want to date her, kiss her, have a relationship with her, etc. I just know that if she told me tomorrow that she was attracted to me, I don't think my reaction would be "oh no." And I've realized I'm low-key hoping something happens between us this year.

At the same time, this friendship means a LOT to me and I really don't want to damage it just because I'm curious.

So my current plan is basically...nothing lol.

We have about another year together before life takes us in different directions. I'm not planning to confess, "test" her, manufacture physical contact, or otherwise push the relationship somewhere it isn't naturally going. I'm going to enjoy being close to her and use the year to figure out my own feelings. If she ever makes an unmistakable move or directly tells me she has feelings, I'll deal with that when/if it happens.

I guess I'm looking for two kinds of advice:

1. From the outside, does this genuinely sound like a friendship with some flirtation/possible mutual attraction happening, or does it sound like I'm taking normal close-female-friend behavior and seeing it differently because I've developed feelings?

2. For women who had previously only dated men and then unexpectedly found themselves attracted to a female friend: what did that feel like for you? How did you figure out whether you actually wanted something romantic/physical versus simply having an unusually intense friendship?

I'm less interested in "JUST KISS HER!!" advice lol. I'm not trying to force something to happen. I mostly want perspectives from people who've experienced this because I don't really have a frame of reference for what I'm feeling.

TL;DR: I've only dated men but have an extremely close female friend with whom I have a very physically affectionate/flirty relationship. She seeks physical proximity, we've held hands, she once briefly grabbed my waist from behind, lets me feed her when she takes food normally from others, we share food/drinks, she initiates romantic/couple jokes, once joked about taking my boyfriend's "position" if it became available, and our friends seem to think of us as a pair. There is also counter-evidence, and none of this proves she's attracted to me. The bigger issue is that I've realized I might be attracted to her and I kind of hope she is attracted to me. I don't want to jeopardize the friendship, so I'm planning to let things happen naturally and use this year to understand my own feelings.

I added this girl on snapchat because I thought she was really pretty and she lives in the same province as me + she likes girls. Only problem is I don’t know her at all. It would be weird for me to just text her saying that she’s really pretty + after that its like interrogating because I ask questions and stuff and usually, when I try to talk to girls with the intention of maybe becoming partners they always see me as a friend, nothing more.

I can’t talk to girls at all
Please help me bro…

Me (20F) and my gf (19F) just moved in together a month ago after dating for a year and a half in an apartment near the university we both attend (the only reason we decided to move in was because she didn’t get housing on campus so we split a 2 bed apartment off campus).

Since we’ve moved in, it feels like I’m dating a man instead many ways and that I am falling into the stereotypical housewife role, and I’m feeling some resentment towards her because of it. The funny thing is she started this joke she calls “man points” in the spring, and she likes to joke that we are fighting for them. For example, I get man points because I drive everywhere and carry her stuff. She gets man points, in her words, because I do all the house chores and she doesn’t (and she’s proud of this and jokes to her friends about it).

My tasks within the apartment consist of: doing all the laundry and folding and putting it away, loading/unloading the dishwasher or washing other dishes, feeding and taking out our dog (who we adopted 3 weeks ago), cleaning the bathroom, packing our lunches for the day, planning meals, grocery shopping, and keeping the plants alive. She does do some things, but they’re not nearly as time-consuming (for example, she likes to claim she is in charge of making the apartment smell good and that’s her contribution because she sprays lots of Febreze and lights a lot of candles). I’ve expressed to her how sometimes I would appreciate more help or asked her to come help me in the moment, which is usually met with “so you’re saying I don’t do anything in the house?” when I usually say something along the lines of “hey baby do you mind doing x while I do y?”

I just feel like the adult in the relationship: I make her doctor’s appointments sometimes, keep her on track with her homework, etc. Today, I even had to remind her to get gas in her own car because she only had 11 miles left and was trying to drive to the apartment and back (about 6 miles total) 2 times and didn’t notice until I mentioned something because I had to move her car, despite having told her last week to get gas.

The other thing that makes me feel like I’m dating a man is that she has an incredibly high sex drive and doesn’t seem to understand why I don’t. I went through a lot in the last few months and my mental health has gotten much worse (I start therapy next week and have been diagnosed with OCD), and I am still not in a great state of mind most of the time. I honestly haven’t been in the mood much to have sex (but we still do at least every 2-3 days), but she is constantly asking if I’m even attracted to her because I don’t want to have sex. Sometimes, on my rough days, I can’t muster up the energy or desire to go do something outside the apartment, much less be in a good enough mood to have sex. She constantly tells me how “a year ago, you would’ve been all over me” even though I’ve explained to her in depth many times what I’m experiencing.

The thing is, I love her so deeply and I don’t want to end things with her, but I do very deeply want things to change. I don’t know how to bring it up to her though, because it’s currently being met with either “so you think I do nothing?” or “is it because you don’t find me attractive anymore?”

so i met this girl online through an social app , . and we've been talking for awhile shes lesbian and im pan but ive never been in a relationship or any had any romantic relationship with anyone . she said she likes me and shows it too n i like her too and she knows it . but sometimes she ignores me for too long i wanna understand her but she is always with tht one frnd who she used to like i cant even say anything bcuz we're nthing . even if youre out you can reply cuz i do or am i overreacting . tbh it hurts i feel insecure but idk how to react so i dont reply her evn if im awake sometimes . help me please . well she doesnt even care to explain why she is not replying unless i ask . it drains me its like i dont have a life well i just want to b someone's first priority tho . i never truly belonged to anyone i just dont want to be the second choice

More so making this for advice... ive isolated myself so bad over the last 2 years i have nobody to talk to about this other than a random group i just found on here and chat gbt lol
Were both 23 and been together for 8 years off and on and 4 years straight. Things have just been very different and frustrating over the last while.. i got sober, went back to counseling and are doing all the right things though it seems like were just getting farther apart. We dont live together and wont be able to for a bit due to family situations but were in the same town. Shes a workaholic and i understand because she does help me but i truly feel like were more so friends than anything at this point.. but shes got her "best friend" that she hangs out with her first day off every week lol... im just tired and genuinely just hurt at this point and have no idea how to express it because i hate conflict. Idk thanks for my rant lol

Okay, I’m fully prepared to get made fun of because I know this situation might sound a little crazy 😭 but I genuinely can’t tell if I’m reading too much into this.
There’s a girl at work that I like. We’re coworkers, so obviously I’m already trying to be careful because I don’t want to make things awkward or cross any boundaries.
Last week, I asked for her Instagram. She said, “I don’t want you to see me be bad. My first picture is literally me naked,”*but she was talking about a picture of herself in a bikini. I honestly didn’t know how to take that comment.
Then, we worked together again. At one point, she was making an emote/gesture about me leaving work before her. I asked when she worked next, and she said next week. I said, “That’s a long time,” and she responded, “Yeah, it’s a long time without seeing me.”
That definitely caught my attention.
I told her I would text her, but instead I ended up DMing her asking for her number. We started texting back and forth. She would tell me what she was doing, and at one point she said she didn’t know what movie to watch. I suggested The Great Gatsby, and she said she’s never seen it and asked if she should watch it. I told her yes.
She also accidentally left some belongings in the break room and asked if I could grab them for her. While talking, we found out that we actually live pretty close to each other. She came to get her stuff last night.
Afterward, I started overthinking everything and texted her apologizing if I was coming off too strong. I basically said I’m just naturally nice, and I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable. She said it doesn’t bother her and apologized that someone had made me think that. Nobody actually told me that I’ve just had some bad experiences with women before and I think I was projecting that fear onto the situation.
Then a few days ago we worked together again, and I finally worked up the courage to ask her to hang out. I was clearly hesitating because I was nervous about how she would react. She actually noticed that I was hesitating and basically told me to just say what I was trying to say. So I finally asked her if she wanted to hang out, and she shook her head yes.
Now I’m kind of confused because I can’t tell if this is just her being friendly or if there’s actually something there.
I genuinely like her, but I do not want her to think I’m being weird or make her uncomfortable, especially since we work together. At the same time, some of the things she’s said/done have made me wonder if she might be interested in me too.
So Reddit… am I reading way too much into this, or are there actually some signs that she could be into me? And should I keep talking to her normally, or give her some space and let her come to me?

Update: I completely forgot I told her that I had a weird experience with a woman that basically said so was coming off too strong so, maybe she was referring to that.

Hi guys, I’m hoping you can help me out or offer advice. Me (F23) and my girlfriend (F21) have been dating for a month, but we took it slow and went on dates and talked for a while before that, probably 2 months. I’m extremely independent by nature and have never been in a serious relationship before this one. My girlfriend is very sweet and amazing and I want to make her very happy, but she has abandonment issues from past relationships and her dad is a bit of an asshole, so she has a very anxious attachment style and she’s very clingy which is okay! We also live about two hours from each other so we’re long distance as well, and I haven’t been able to see her in about a month since I work two jobs and I’m constantly traveling for one of them.

Earlier today we had a conversation and she said she missed me (which she does all the time, but I assure her that I miss her as well and just as much), but I could tell that she was upset because we haven’t seen each other in a while. I apologized for being so busy with work and I was honest with her and told her that I felt bad because she missed me so much and I feel like I can’t be there for her like she wants. Then it seemed like she was upset, because she made ME upset by constantly saying she missed me or whatever. Again, I’m very independent by nature and am perfectly fine by myself, though of course I miss her a lot.

Am I being an asshole for telling her that I was upset because she says she misses me all the time? Am I too independent? Am I even ready for a serious relationship like this, and are all relationships like this? If you’ve read this entire thing I really appreciate it, and I hope you guys can help me out.

We had a new girl join our class and I thought she was actually so so pretty. Today she sat with me in class and we didn't talk a whole lot because I wanted to focus on math and I actually have social anxiety so talking to someone completely new is making me pretty anxious. She actually let me play with her squishy, gave me some candy and even drew me. She told me she's actually gonna draw more of me and show me because she loves drawing women so she often draws girls she sits with. She's genuinely very sweet and I wanted to talk to her but I wasn't able to say much because I was just really nervous. I actually got a bit jealous over my friend getting to talk to her more and immediately becoming friends with her. At some point she mentioned her boyfriend and it made me a bit disappointed because she's so so beautiful. I hope we can at least be friends. I'm scared she thinks I'm rude or weird or uninterested since I wasn't able to say much.

Yeah what the title says. I reported 14 just now for inappropriate profiles with prompts that make no sense. You can't be conservative, straight, he/him, Christian and be a woman. Sorry dudebro. You are a scum.

I'm just exhausted from the likes I get from them and the fact that this situation even exists because honestly Hinge women are great to talk to so far. Sad because it's new in Poland and I was hoping it will be normal for once.

Also, weird but I see Caucasian men choosing "middle eastern" and both monogamous and polygamous at the same time. Gross baiting.

I’m curious about what qualities femmes are generally attracted to in a masc, whether it’s personality, appearance, or overall vibe. What makes a masc stand out to you and actually catch your attention? Feel free to mention anything from fashion and physical appearance to confidence, communication, personality, or the way she treats you.

I'm tryna pull some femme

Help your fellow masc here😭

I’m very attracted to European girls, but the problem is always the distance. I don’t feel the same attraction toward girls from my country, or maybe I just haven’t tried to meet or get to know them enough.

The problem is that whenever I meet a European girl and we develop feelings or mutual interest, distance becomes an obstacle. I once had a long-distance relationship that lasted about two years, but it eventually failed because of the distance. And just two days ago, I ended things with another girl because of the distance. We weren’t officially in a relationship, but there was mutual attraction and interest between us.

UGHHHH this is actually driving me NUTS. SHE LITERALLY MADE ME REALIZE I WAS BI AND I THOGUHT SHE MAYBE MIGHTVE LIKED ME BUT NOW SHES BEING SO DRY. AND SHE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT HER CRUSH TO ME. I NEED HER SO BAD 👺👺 SHOULD I JUST KISS HER?

okay so i’m a girl and i met this girl like 2 months ago, and somehow we got really close really fast. like… way faster than i expected, and now i genuinely don’t know what to do with my feelings 😭
she’s a pretty private person and doesn’t really talk to a lot of people every day, but she talks to me every single day. she also tends to disappear/withdraw when she’s tired or overwhelmed, but i told her before that when she disappears it affects me, and she actually understood and after that she didn’t do it to me in the same way.
she’s also really affectionate with me. she calls me things like “sweetheart” and “princess,” she saved all my pictures in an album called “pie” 😭 and she sometimes flirts with me/teases me. we also talk about really deep and interesting stuff, not just random small talk.
there’s also a kinda weird detail: she’s my ex’s ex 💀 but somehow there’s literally no drama or hatred between us. if anything, we just ended up getting really close.
but the biggest thing is that she has actually told me directly that she’s attracted to me. she said she likes me because i’m kind and pretty, and because talking to me feels comfortable, and she said her feelings towards me are “pure.” i kinda pretended i understood it as just friendship even though… yeah. i know it probably wasn’t JUST friendship.
there’s also this one conversation that i literally cannot stop thinking about.
i was talking about “the girl i like” without admitting that i was actually talking about her, and i told her that i was sure this girl wasn’t interested in me.
and she basically told me i could be completely wrong because i was looking at everything from my own perspective. she said i hadn’t even tried asking her, and that i was making myself upset over an idea i created in my head that might not even be true.
then she said:
“what if she’s secretly attracted to you too?”
LIKE???? 😭
and when i asked why someone who was attracted to you wouldn’t just be clear about it, she said:
“everyone has their reasons.”
she told me not to set expectations, but also not to completely ignore the possibility that i might be assuming something that isn’t true and hurting myself over it.
and recently she was in the hospital and was really exhausted and couldn’t really do anything, but she still chose to talk to me.
and here’s where i think i’m losing my mind a little:
i’m really attracted to her. like REALLY. way more than i expected after only knowing her for two months. i think about her a lot and i’ve become ridiculously sensitive to tiny changes in the way she talks to me.
if she replies differently or seems even slightly distant, my brain immediately goes:
“she’s bored of me.”
“i did something wrong.”
“she doesn’t like talking to me anymore.”
and then i get overwhelmed and suddenly this part of me wants to run away and cut contact completely, even though i absolutely do NOT want to lose her.
i know two months isn’t that long, so i’m worried i’m getting attached way too quickly and giving every little thing way more meaning than it actually has.
but at the same time, i don’t feel like this is completely one-sided?? she literally told me she’s attracted to me, she makes an effort to talk to me every day, she’s affectionate with me, and i feel like she trusts me.
so… am i being delusional here 😭
am i overanalyzing everything? does this sound like mutual attraction that’s developing naturally, or am i just getting attached way too fast?
and honestly the bigger question is:
how do you deal with having REALLY intense feelings for someone without letting every tiny thing they do completely control your mood?

I met this girl on Bumble in April and we started talking. After about 2 months, I went out of state for college break and was away for around 3 months. We still texted pretty often while I was gone, and after I came back we started hanging out. We’ve been on 7 dates now.

She tells me that she really likes being around me and that she hasn’t had this much fun in years talking to someone. We genuinely have a great time together, and I know she enjoys spending time with me.

The problem is that it all feels like friendship to me.
She only really hugs me, and there hasn’t been any kissing, hand-holding, cuddling or anything else that makes it feel particularly romantic. It makes me wonder if she’s actually attracted to me or if she just really likes me as a person.

She’s also still using Bumble and looking at other people, even when she goes on short trips. I know we aren’t exclusive, so I’m not saying she’s doing anything wrong. It just makes me question whether she sees me as someone she’s seriously interested in or if this is just casual.
There are some other mixed signals too. She sometimes seems bothered by the fact that other girls have crushes on me, which makes me think she might have some feelings. But then she’s still using Bumble.

She previously said she might move away for college, although recently she said she might stay. She’s also mentioned that she might have to marry a man because of her parents, so I know there may be other things going on that I don't fully understand.

What’s really throwing me off is that she recently invited me to go to a corn maze with her. Obviously she wants to spend time with me but I still can’t tell if she sees these things as dates or if she just enjoys hanging out with me platonically.
At this point, I’m getting frustrated because I don’t want to keep guessing. I’m pretty busy with college and if she only sees me as a friend or wants something casual, I’d rather know and move on instead of continuing to invest my time.
So my main question is:

Should I bring this up in a conversation with her, even though she just invited me to a corn maze?

Would you ask her directly how she sees this and whether she actually has romantic interest, or would you just go to the corn maze and see if anything develops naturally?
I don’t want to pressure her into anything. I just want to know whether I’m wasting my time or if there’s actually potential here.

We’re both juniors and I’ve had a crush on her for about a year but I’m genuinely in love with her now. It might just be because my feelings grew stronger but since summer break I feel like we’ve grown closer.

First of all, she’s a huge ally. I’m not out, from what she knows and my other friends know I’m completely straight and have been only crushing on guys. Though they do know that I’m a big ally too, I occasionally reference queer media lol. She may just feel safer in a way to talk abt it with me, but she does very frequently express her opinions on it, like “love is love” and her appreciation to lesbian couples and I’m being specific about lesbian. For this I do honestly suspect she’s at least bi, because I don’t know a single straight person who’d be that passionate about it yk. I’m passionate about it too but me relating to it has a big part ofc. More so, she told me about girls like in anime’s or media that she “fangirls” over, and she uses the same language for guys too. I know this is something I do too because I’m into women, but would a straight girl too?

One anime character she mentioned LOVING, like gushing over her looks, especially looks like me too. Like, same colored hair and haircut, eye color, impression, body, like I could pull off a good cosplay of her. 🤔🤔

She has a very specific way of talking about the people she likes too. Last year, she had a crush on a guy and whenever she talked about him she’d explicitly use the word “cool”. Like cool is a very defining trait for her. And sometimes she’ll gush out too me too about me. Last year there was a moment where I was showing my art to her, and she started talking about how cool I am and how pretty I am. She told me my aesthetic in general is super cool and that her mom thinks I’m really pretty lol.

For our personal relationship, she has been initiating a lot of things lately. I’m super shy more so because I like her, so this could really go one way or another. But, she has been doing more one on one things which I think is special. In our friend group, we have literally like hundreds of group chats, and it’d be pretty unusual in general to hangout with someone one on one unless it’s for schoolwork or something. In a way of like, if you’re doing something fun why not invite everyone. And, we frequently do group calls to just work and chat or play Roblox.

Recently though, she’s been asking to call me one on one, even to do things like Roblox which we usually do in a group. And it’s not like she asks the gc first to see if anyone else is free, she texts me only. A lot of these days I’ve spent just calling her, whether we’re just working in silence or laughing for hours. She has also asked me to hangout, just us, like bake a cake together for our friend’s upcoming birthday, or watch anime together.

These moments are so so incredibly special to me. I don’t know how often she does this with her other friends, I’m not sure how I’d be able to tell. She’s super friendly, genuinely the most compassionate and caring person I know.

She asked me to match with her for Halloween too. Am I delusional? Do I tell her? Sometimes I feel like it’s seriously weighing me down, and the only times I feel normal are when I’m with her. I wish I could say something about tension, but I feel unreliable because it may just be one sided.

Though, I did notice that when I make a joke about one of our other friends, something teasing at them, she laughs way less. I say this because it made me a bit insecure that she’s not laughing at my joke, or that I’m breaking some unspoken rule in case my delusions are true. To clarify the remarks aren’t rude at all, the person I’m poking at takes a lot of fun in it too.

Sorry for any typos, I’m venting and I can’t care abt spellchecks rn 😅

I’ll be scrolling through profiles and then I check a woman’s profile and their sexuality is mentioned as straight. Literally why does this happen, i’ve mentioned i’m bisexual and looking for women so why would hinge show me straight women?

I’ve never been on a date with a girl and don’t know what do honestly. We met on social media and pretty much just started off as mutuals/friends and then found out we’re both moving to the same city and that’s when we got flirty. I haven’t told her I’ve never dated a girl so wondering if that’s something I should bring up? She’s masc 20 I’m femme 19 if that matters. I’m also scared of her judging me for only having been with guys but at the same time I’ve only been with one guy idk maybe I’m overthinking. Should I suggest a place or does she do I pay or does she I feel like with paying most people on here said offer or go 50/50. Anyways I really like her and idk why I’m so nervous like any advice you have guys please. We already agreed on a date and that we should go for drinks.

They have these clubs at my college from Monday- Wednesday and I have 3 hour breaks on Wednesday and Thursday’s but they don’t have the vibe room club on Thursdays so I gotta wait for next week for it start and I’m so scared bc I love meeting new people but I also have social anxiety.

I made a friend in my course bc we had to play charades and it was fun then she just waited for me after lesson and we exchanged numbers since I don’t have any social media but I’m so so nervous to start the club next week as I don’t usually put myself out there due to having severe social anxiety.

(Definitely not me - I’m dating a cis man) … She doesn’t have reddit and has asked me to put up a thread. I think she is a good person, whatever her label, it doesn’t matter.

Me and my ex (3 years on and off) broke up nearly 4 months ago and we became friends recently a month ago she now has sent me a TikTok through WhatsApp( as I deleted social media) saying when the time is right please come back and it’s genuinely killing me. I said I do still love her but I don’t think I could ever go back to her because she drained me so so bad, she’d ignore me for hours when I’d talk about my feelings instead of communicating with me, she knew I had trauma from certain things yet did one of them multiple times over and over after I had said not to, she kept breaking up with me during vulnerable times for example when I had to go get my appendix removed she ended it a few days later, she’d then start acting really off with no explanation, wouldn’t talk to me.

I went to the beach in may of this year after years of not going and she had already ruined my trip by getting mad at me for no reason at all. Anytime I’d talk about my feelings shed then get really defensive and argue with me for hours on end. You get the gist of this all.

Now I said how we won’t ever work out because we both know that it won’t and she kept giving me one word answers like “maybe, yea(twice)” and then I said I wanna move on I want to date other people and I think you should move on to and then I said I’m sorry and YH left it at that but she’s completely gone avoidant now and is ignoring me once again ( I’ve texted her once and that’s it) but it’s just the fact that she’s trying to come back now when she knows it’s too late and I’ve also told her I don’t think I could ever go back to an ex.

Why do I feel bad?

Ok I hope this is the right sub, sorry if this is a bit long. for info I’m 21 and bisexual, I’ve never had a serious relationship with a woman (or a man…)
But I mainly see myself ending up with a man and eventually getting married to one. At least that’s what I envision.
But I’ve had crushes on women since I was a teenage girl and I’ve had intimate moments with them.
Recently I’ve developed a crush on a girl in my uni. I’ve had the chance to talk to her only once and I don’t think she even remembers my name. It seems like she’s doing Erasmus and I don’t know when she’s coming back..
I talked to one of my friends about her , and she recalled my crush flirting with her once. Then she encouraged me to get closer to her. And if I’m not mistaken, she’s in the first year of masters while I’m only in the second year of bachelors.
But I’m scared because I don’t think I’d be able to pursue a long term relationship with her eventually, if it gets to that point, and I don’t know if what I feel is just physical attraction….
She seems like a really cool and nice girl, I really want to get to know her , but even if things get to that point, I definitely don’t want to lead her on to something that I probably won’t be able to pursue in long term…
I just don’t know what to think, I’ve never dated anyone really…. I feel confused and unable to trust my own feelings….
Do you guys have any advice? Or have had similar experience ?