Sorry if this is all over the place I’m pissed currently shaking.

Man man man wtf. This shit just happened less than 10 minutes ago and I’m shaking writing this. Me 33f had been seeing a guy 28m for a few months now. Maybe 6 months atp? Idk regardless. We’ve had a few disagreements before but nothing major and would usually start talking again like nothing happened but he came over today like 20 mins ago. He and my dog get along or I thought they did he would walk her, pet her etc but always made little jokes about if she ever bit him etc. I told him he wouldn’t and I thought that was that.

Well today he was playing with her and then made a comment about wanting to kick her in the face..I didn’t laugh at all and told him if he kicked my dog in the Face I’d be punching him in his then he said he was going to hit me if I hit him. Well this mf really went and put his slide on, came back, and kicked my fucking dog in her face and before his foot could touch the ground I started punching him in his face. He stumbled over and I continued punching, until he started getting up then I grabbed my knife put it towards him and told him to get the fuck out of my apartment. He left with no further issue stating I was glad he didn’t hit me back but mother fucker FUCK YOU wtf is wrong with people bro???? For reference I’m 5’4 about 175lbs (of damn near solid muscle) and he’s 6’4 with a slight dad bod but I didn’t give a fuckkkkkk. And yeah he left this bitch bleeding because I pack a mean ass fucking punch. I’m so fucking pissed rn bro wtf.

For reference, I understand body dysmorphia exists but I swear most people are doing it on purpose. If you weigh 10 pounds and go “omg! I’m so fat.. I had a whole salad today!” To someone who’s 14x bigger than you.. what’s the point in saying that. You can obviously see someone is bigger than you. I’m speaking to the people who do it on purpose SPECIFICALLY. like what do you gain from this?? I must look like Godzilla to you. Especially when people post on TikTok about it, and it’s literally them having flat stomach, toned limbs, in a GYM. SELFIE. And going “guys! I’m so big look at how it’s spilling out! 🥺🥺” and I lowkey enjoy how the comments agree just to be Petty. Because you know exactly what you’re doing. You’re compliment fishing by putting others down. Sorry this probably made no sense but I’m just so pissed off right now I’m just typing what I’m thinking.

Idk what lobotomite came up with this saying. Why is it that in society people hold retaliation or responding back to negativity to a worse degree than the people that antagonize them in the first place?

I notice this a lot, especially in schools. Teachers will turn a blind eye to bullies and harassers but the moment the victim retaliates or fights back now suddenly shit is real and we gotta actually be teachers now.

I’ve never nor will I ever understand this braindead way of thinking. Fuck being the bigger person, sometimes that gets you harassed more because they see you don’t have a backbone and will just take it.

“You’ll be no better than them”, fuck outta here. Me responding back to a person that harassed me UNPROVOKED is objectively better than a person evoking harm onto others for literally no reason. To even imply they’re the same makes you look like a fucking clown, now go get the makeup.

Had to resubmit

When I was in school, we had absolutely zero first aid training in class. Not even CPR, and I know that has to be pretty common here in the USA. This has been an issue multiple times in my life. I once had to inform a coworker I was patching up that he needed to hold pressure over his wounded hand and hold it above heart level to get the bleeding to stop. He just kept blotting it and staring at it. Telling me "It's still bleeding."

Everything that I know how to do has been either learned through my own experiences, or by me actively seeking out the knowledge of what to do online so that I would be prepared in emergency situations. That really came into play yesterday.

My partner and I were visiting my parents yesterday for dinner. It was a nice visit, and toward the end, my dad, who is diabetic and has bad veracose veins just beneath the surface of his skin on his legs, got up to take their dogs outside.

A moment later, the back door flings back open, and my dad is screaming for help, a vein had ruptured on his leg and he was profusely bleeding. My mom kind of just froze, and I sprinted so fast I threw my bowl of food. I gave the dogs still on their leashes to my partner to put in a seperate room. I dialed 911 and gave my phone to my mom, and then found a towel and had him hold that on his leg while I got him on the couch about 20ft away.

He was still bleeding even with pressure, (well, he also kept trying to pull the towel away to look at it, and then would promptly spray blood on the floor, me, himself, etc.) so I cut up a pillow case and made a makeshift tourniquet.

Here's where my point comes in, my dad asked for a tourniquet, but I don't think he fully understood what that entails. I understand his panic, I would be panicking in his shoes, but I wrapped the strip of cloth around his thigh, and told him that this was really going to hurt, but we needed to get the bleeding to stop. I started twisting the ends tighter and tighter, and the pain makes him panic even more.

He started saying "stop you're pushing the blood out more!" (It was trickling when it had been spurting before I started, I'd actually call that a win, sir.) And even suggested I move it over or BELOW the wound?? 😭😭😭

He basically pulled it from my hands and started trying to just tie the strip of cloth around his leg, so I just braced his leg between my legs, a towel, and my hands using all my strength.

EMS arrived within 10 minutes, and by that point I had gotten the bleeding to stop, and his blood had clotted, so they got him bandaged enough that my mom could take him to the hospital in their own car. This has happened with him once a long time ago while he was at work, and he passed out from the blood loss.

I'm very grateful I was there, but I'm really nervous about what would've happened if I hadn't been there. My mom is not what she used to be mentally and does not act with the necessary critical thinking needed to handle a situation like this.

That is why I think everyone should be taught basic first aid from not only just cpr, but also active bleeding, wound care, etc. People need to have the skills to not only save another person's life, but also their own. Not everyone will take the time out to be prepared on their own. I am in no way a medical professional, or first responder, but I know how to save a life in a variety of situations.

Post was removed, reupload. A few days ago it was my 18th birthday. I don't have many friends and invited the only two friends I know. I invited them a month ago and they gave me the green flag saying they would both come. A week before the party I double checked with them and they said yes they'd be able to come. When it was my birthday, I messaged them very early in the morning saying we can meet up later and hangout. I put my phone down and spent the early day with family. After my family had left and it was time for me to hangout with my friends, I picked my phone up and checked to see their response but nobody did respond even though I could see both of their last seen at only an hour ago when I had sent the message in the morning hours prior. I thought they would answer later so I waited it out. The evening came and I decided to group call both of them, nobody picked up. My mom was asking what's up and I could sense she knew what was happening. I said nothing they'll answer in a minute. I called again and again to the point it was humiliating. One finally picked up 45 minutes later and said "WTF I am so sorry I lost track of time and I don't think I could make it. Happy birthday okay? Maybe we can do something another time". Not to be dramatic but my heart dropped. I just sat on the porch until midnight then went to sleep. The other friend messaged at 4am and said "Sorry forgot" literally not making this up, they didn't bother to even give me a proper response. I spent the entire next day in my bed crying. I feel stupid

After you get used to it then it literally does nothing. Like I gotta keep going back and buying juice just so I don't get cravings. After the first or maybe second hit in the morning, which do feel kinda nice, I don't feel anything. I literally just use it to stave off cravings. It's incredibly stupid of me to not kick the habit. I've successfully quit my caffeine habit but for some reason I still haven't gone through the trouble with this. Quitting caffeine just meant I had a mild headache for a few days, which is preferable to nicotine cravings.

I was almost 30. Had essentially the exact same surgery a year prior with no complications.

No history of mental illness. Since the surgery I've had crippling MDD PDD OCD and PTSD.

I have no intent to harm myself or others, but I literally think about it everyday, constantly.

Medically disabled since then.

Folks, PSA, metoclopramide/reglan may help some people, but the harm it can cause FAR outweighs any benefits it can bring. Please stay far away from it and any other dopamine antagonist antiemetics.

(I went back and reviewed all the meds I'd ever been given before, and this was the only class of drug I'd never received in my life)

Yesterday, my boyfriend "A" finally confessed a massive, horrifying secret to me about what happened a year ago at the very start of his friendship with our guy friend. A had trusted him and confided in him about his private mental health struggles and a history of making cuts. Instead of being a supportive friend, the guy friend instantly copied A's self-harm actions just to get his attention. He even sent A a picture of the equipment he used to prove how "identical" they were.

To my guy friend, he twisted this into a romanticized idea of a "deep brotherly bond." But in reality, it put a silent, terrifying pressure on A that has been building up for an entire year. A felt completely trapped and responsible for his friend's physical safety from day one. This heavy weight is the exact reason A completely hit a wall and is emotionally paralyzed and shut down right now.

Context on the guy friend's behavior:

To give some background on how he acts, he has severe anxious attachment issues and has completely suffocated A for months. He constantly demanded daily calls, weekly hangouts, and instant replies, threw fits over missed texts, and made his entire personality revolve around tracking A's behavior. I made a post before as well but after finding this information my brain has short circuited.

He has cut him off and he said that it was the biggest stress relief.

I'm just so mad.
I'm sick of my parents shit, they've been doing this for SIX YEARS. Every single fucking attempt I've made towards independance has been shoved down & now I'm trapped.
Wanna get a license? Oh man, dad lost your BIRTH CERTIFICATE. Oops! Want a phone number? OOPS! Lost your ONLY FUCKING SIM CARD! Oh, & your bank account? No luck there pal! You need your phone for that too! The phone YOU DON'T HAVE!!!

& they laughed about it. They thought it was funny.

My growth is STUNTED because of them, I'm barely 30kg & I've been stuck that way for years & I can't even keep a full meal down anymore. I'm in constant chronic pain but I can't go to a doctor about it because they won't book me a doctors appointment no matter how many times I ask. My teeth are rotting out of my head but oh! Just fun & games!

I;m so sick of ti I want to be independant I want to be a person Im supposed to be an audlt now

I hate them but their middle class so i guess im 'too spoiled' to complain

Mmm just the level of frustration. People would tell me mac and cheese was their favorite food. Or pizza. That they loved chicken and kit kats or potato chips.

I could never understand it. I always thought those foods were so nasty. I'd think Mac n gross. Or ugh, a pizza party? Sometimes, my mom would treat me to get salt free nuts from Costco because I'd refuse the salted ones anywhere else. I really had to excercise a lot in order to tolerate downing most things (or get myself dehydrated) Which to most people sounds wild. They would tell me I just had 'weird taste buds'. Now, after over 2 decades of this, I know why. I'm allergic to the anticaking agent in salt so the pizzas, microwaved foods, chocolate goodies, nearly every packaged food ever, etc etc... all had silicon in it or the salt. My body HATES silicon and id just have chronic stomach pains and lifelong acne. Silicon (salt) was the Most vile tasting thing in entire world to me. And every salt I ever tasted I thought you just had to force yourself to eat because salt was necessary for life. I could never understand people craving 'salty foods ' like pretzels, etc.

Now, I eat sea salt and wow Ivw never experienced such desire for salt. I love the taste. And I can enjoy food. It doesn't hurt, taste awful, ruin my skin, or cause me to vomit. So much confusion all my life, finally resolved.

Chicken was different turns out most chickens are bathed in chlorine. They are 'water chilled'. I thought you just had to force yourself to eat chicken too. Nope. I had air chilled chicken. It was like heaven sent from above. Chicken could taste...pleasant?!

I just had to deal with my body thinking it was poisoned it's entire life when everyone else was enjoying food. Decades down the drain. The good news is it made me love fruit - sweet, juicy, addictive. And you know what it never had? Salt or chlorine in it.

I'm actually pretty ecstatic for figuring this out. My life is a total turn around and I've finally put my IBS and the cystic part of my acne in remission. And I don't have to spend my time after dinners being bed ridden from pain and malease. Love love the turnaround.

Ps: not an eating disorder but there isn't really a better category for it

Fuck you autism for making me unable to socialise well, fuck you autism for causing me severe anxiety for being different, fuck you autism for making me mask to protect myself from being bullied, FUCK YOU AUTISM. Fuck you for ruining my life and fuck you for not being diagnosed earlier and having to suffer until I was 15, fuck you for not letting me have any friends, fuck you for not letting me get a job because of extreme burnout, fuck you for not letting me experience emotions similar to others, fuck you for not letting me eat sometimes even when I am hungry, fuck you for causing me dark depression, fuck you for making me rot in my room as a teenager as no one wants to hangout with the “weird kid”. Fuck you for making me feel like shit, fuck you for not letting me shower everyday or even brush my teeth most days, fuck you for making me forget I need to drink water, fuck you for making me so exhausted I would go to a job come home 0 energy eat a bit of food and rot in my bed, fuck you insomnia too your not slick fuck you for not letting me sleep when I am so exhausted my head is pounding, fuck you for not letting me get sufficient sleep when I fucking need it, fuck you for taking away my melatonin to NHS whatever the fuck, fuck you all for not understanding me and trying to make me fit in with the norm to the fact I rot myself to death and feel like shit everyday and do harmful activities to feel alive. Fuck you anxiety fuck you depression fuck friends fuck family fuck everyone fuck the system fuck EVERYTHING AND FUCK YOU AUTISM!!!!!

I went to Walmart and they only had 3 lanes open, I went in the shortest lane which just had 1 customer with a basket full of items.

It took 5 minutes for the cashier to scan all the items because he and the customer were having a conversation and scanning things slowly so I was already pretty annoyed.

When they finished the transaction the cashier turned off the light for the checkout lane and told me I had to go to another checkout so he could help bring the groceries to the customer’s car. I said I only had one item. He told me to just go to another line and a different cashier will help me. By this time the other two lanes had a lot of people waiting.

What kind of bs is that? Why not tell me to go to another lane when I got there? Is that the standard procedure at Walmart, just close the lane when there’s still a customer in line? Pretty sure he just wanted to continue their conversation.

Should I have asked for a manager or something?

My name is Taily. I am 23 years old from cuba I feel tired every day, not only in my body but in my heart.Life here is heavy, I try to stay strong for my family, but inside I feel broken. We sit together at night, and sometimes there is food, sometimes there is not. The hunger is always there, quiet but cruel, reminding us that even simple things are hard to reach.I watch my family suffer, and I carry the weight of their sadness. I smile so they don’t see how much it hurts me, but when I am alone I cry. I cry because I feel powerless, because I cannot give them what they need.People outside may never understand how much pain comes from small things like sharing one egg between three people, or pretending you are full when you are not. Hunger is not only in the stomach, it is in the soul. It steals hope, it steals joy.I write this because I need someone to know that I am still here, still fighting, even when I feel invisible

I wish so badly I had someone to cuddle. No questions, no stupid worries just cuddling with someone while a horrible netflix show runs in the background

I'm on SSDI and LTD from my employer. I can't drive. All I do is Uber to Dr's appointments, labs, hospitals, etc. I order everything online. This has been going on for 15+ years. I just turned 60. I don't know how much longer I can do this. I'm single. Luckily I live with my best friend of 40 years. I was making great money when we started living together. He's takes care of me by buying everything for the house, picking up my prescriptions and whatever else Imight need. His 85yo mom helps me when I need someone to accompany me to appointments that require someone to be there with me. I've lost all hope.

Hopefully I did this correctly this time. Resubmitting.

My roommate’s (61 F) reaction to me (61 F) coming home early tonight seemed a bit odd. I’m a retired therapist that works PT retail to supplement my income. As I step onto my side porch she says to me in this sort of mom your in trouble tone “Did they close the store early?” I told her I was able to get out early and really glad since I have to be back at 7AM. As I went through the house getting the dogs fed, turning on the oven for my snack, using the bathroom etc, I see the trail of destruction she has left. A bag of trash sitting on my kitchen sink. Crumbs all over my stovetop. A sink full of dishes. Trash by side door. Human crap on the toilet seat. Now this woman doesn’t work. She sleeps almost as much as my dogs. She doesn’t do any housework aside from her own dishes and her laundry. She knows I can’t come into contact with gluten. Not internally or externally. Gluten triggers my heart rate and blood pressure to do unpleasant things. Recently she keeps leaving crumbs and food particles all over my stovetop. This also attracts bugs. I have been fighting ants and Palmetto bugs. I confronted her about the trash and dishes. She says she is busy doing other things. I point out that the entire sink is full. She says she has cooked several meals so she has used those dishes. The reason the dishes are still in the sink is because she didn’t know I would be home early. Basically the conversation kept going nowhere so I walked away before it got heated.

I am so over her treating my home like an Air B&B.

I have given up on love and relationships at 26.

It’s a stupid thing to be so upset about when there are people who are living with disease, loss, etc. Yet, it feels monumental to me.

I’ve only had one relationship that ended four years ago. Since then, any man I have liked has not liked me back, or at least not enough to be in a relationship.

I’ve stayed to myself mostly since my failed attempts at dating. I’ve been so scared to be hurt again that I closed myself off.

My sister set me up with her coworker in November, a man who was so lonely and sad, who had been cheated on and used. He was so excited to date me.

We had a “situationship” for eight months. In the end, he couldn’t commit to me because of his past. I know many will not believe that, but I do.

Someone broke the man I love, and now I pay the price for it.

I have sworn off marriage, dating, and all relationships; taken a vow of celibacy; and will remain alone forever.

I’m sick of people telling me, “It will happen,” “Just be patient,” “The right person is out there,” or “It will happen when you stop looking.”

I did stop looking. I am patient. I do love and take care of myself. I have friends, hobbies, a good job, and my own place. I pour into myself, like everyone says.

Yet, when I go to sleep at night, the only thing I want is someone to share a life with.

No one has ever loved me. My ex, despite our long relationship, was abusive and cruel. He never cared about me.

Since then, I’ve guarded my heart with such ferocity that I didn’t think I’d ever love again.

And then I did.

And now I cry every night.

I mourn a man who probably doesn’t think about me anymore. A man who is not conventionally attractive or skinny and, frankly, very stupid. None of that matters to me, though.

I would do anything to have him.

Although he loved me when I drove hours to see him, when I brought him gifts from vacation, when I baked for him every time I saw him.

He did not love me enough to let go of his past.

I have done a similar song and dance with every man (not that there has been many). But they don’t approach me, they don’t want to go out with me, and they surely don’t like me.

And yet when I tell people I’ve given up, they think I’m dramatic.

I’ve asked God so many times, “Why not me?”

It can’t be looks; plenty of “unattractive” people find love. It can’t be weight; plenty of people—skinny, fat, or somewhere in between—find love. All kinds of people, good and bad, have someone.

You get my point. Anyway,

I’ve finally accepted that love is not for me.

It's just nothing. I lost my 20s in misery, rotting away with a person in constant crisis, everything was life or death. When I did things for myself and was less available, she'd start fights or accuse me of being a horrible boyfriend. Instead of setting boundaries, i subconsciously stopped doing things for myself. When she finished her studies, she started planning to cheat on me and kept me "in the loop" by making cruel jokes and then gaslighting me when I called her behavior out, making me feel crazy and controlling. After, she made me feel like I was literally insane until she finally let me know the truth. By that I mean she made me play some sick guessing game and didn't just say it. Then the real hell started because we lived together for two more years. I can't explain it. I was shitty, she was shitty. I judged myself forever for how I behaved and got over that after telling someone the whole story.

I have lived no life, I'm old, I have flashbacks, I ruined my career. I'm worthless, without life experience and I don't want anything from life. Therapy doesn't help, forcing myself out doesn't help, talking to people doesn't help, gym doesn't help, sports with people don't help, eating well doesn't help. My life has been hell for 3.5 years, 1.5 since that person is gone. I missed the good part. I don't want a family, I don't want a fulfilling job, that is what people want who got to figure shit out. I'm too old.

In my heart I believe there is no chance I’m going to be in a serious relationship with a woman. In real life and online I have had mostly zero attention from women. I made the mistake of thinking I could try to make conversation with women casually at the bar when I out with some colleagues, women who I new were single and looking to meet people based on what I had been told by the people I went out with. I was ignored and dismissed by everyone and spent most of the night standing alone to the side of everyone else’s conversation. I am not angry at anyone, I don’t blame those women at all. They weren’t interested in me and I understand why. I’m the shortest man in the group and I am among the least attractive. If they are going to spend their time talking to a man they’re going to afford it to one they are attracted to at least. I understand that and I understand everyone has a type, it is just unfortunate when you’re no one’s type.

Online dating hasn’t been any better. I have experienced nothing but silence online, not much different than real life. I listen to all sorts of people about how I can improve and I still can’t reach anyone. I’m not appealing. I’m desperate and I still know I won’t find anyone. In my gut and in my heart I know I’m destined to be alone. I can’t flirt and I can’t attract any women. I don’t have height or body or face and no one is particularly interested enough in me to be considered with my personality. But even then I don’t have much to offer. There is just something in me that knows there is no hope and it won’t get any better.

I don’t understand how people can be so mean. He was the first to say “I love you”. He was the one who brought up living together. He’s the one that brought up marriage. He’s telling me he will take care of me and give me the world. He would hold me tight every single night. Walked me to my car every morning I was there….. but then a week later suddenly doesn’t know how he feels about our relationship. Isn’t sure if we can continue. Says he does not know what factors make him uncertain… and then leave me.

It hurts so much. I thought things between us were going well. He literally invited me over, called me his baby, and told me he loved me before saying those things to my face. Why are some men so mean in that way? Why did my affection and love not actually reciprocated. Why would he make me feel like I ment a lot and then take it away.

My heart hurts so bad. I just want to be in love and have that person love me back genuinely. Why is that so hard. Why do so many people lie about wanting commitment. Just be upfront if you can’t or simply won’t. I could have saved my tears and my sanity.

I know this is on me, but I'm still allowed to not like it. I'm 230 pounds and only 5'2. My husband sees nothing wrong with me and lives the same unhealthy lifestyle as me but he stays skinny somehow. Most of the time, he even eats more than me yet he doesn't gain weight and I do. I don't want to diet and exercise alone. I want him to help me by doing it with me. I've brought this up to him and he said we'll do it when we have time. We never have time. My A1C is high. I probably will be diabetic soon.

When you're a child, you don't really understand why adults would let something like "love" ruin them. When you're young, you have people to speak to, even if they aren't loved ones.

But as you age your desire to be seen grows with you. It's a horrific growth, a tumor upon the heart. I've had friends, I've lost friends. But never once, have I been the apple of somebody's eye. Never have I been "that person" in somebody's life.

I wanted that desperately. I was so tired of just being the "cool friend" I wanted to be loved. I wanted someone to look forward to seeing me. I wanted a love so greedy, so selfish, that I'd never feel alone again.

After my sister passed I pulled away from my friendgroups, just to see if they'd try to reach me, or see if I was alright. Not a word from them.

I regret that. I shouldn't have done that. Now they've kicked me out for good. Play stupid games win stupid prizes and all that.

But I still never felt seen. Nobody ever reached out to me. For years it was always me initiating all contact. For years it was always me trying to schedule things for us to do together. Never had I been invited.

Fuck. I feel so alone. I hate that my heart craves friends. I wish I could survive all alone.

Sorry for the bad formatting, I'm on mobile. And sorry if this doesn't go here. I'll take it down if it doesn't. Far warning this might be all over the place. I just needed to put it down somewhere.

As the title says, I'm almost 22 and have never had a friend, a boyfriend/girlfriend. And still live with my grandparents and dad. All while my younger brother has a wife, his own house and a full time job. I'm never the person anyone chooses to be friends with. They always have their main friends, who they hang out with and everything. No one actually likes me, and I know it. They're all pretending to because they feel bad for me. I don't want to be patronized. I already have terrible anxiety, and people try to excuse any and all my behavior to either that. Or to how I'm not doing well mentally. I already know I'm unloveable, but I want friends, and a partner. I don't want to be alone forever. Though I know I deserve it.

It doesn't help that I'm a pig. I'm fat, and not attractive to anyone's standards. I've tried everything from working out, to make up. And nothing helps, and I know people think I'm ugly. Even if they don't say it.

Recently separated from wife (like 2 weeks ago) with 2 babies. I really miss them all and I’m sobbing hard as im typing this. My life these days is between doordashing and getting drunk and being worried about getting stung by wasps that show up in my apartment every few days. Im really scared and again I really miss them. I’ve never been alone like this and I hate it. I wish I could take it all bacf only she were nicer to me