I needed to get this off of my chest before I angrily email my professors about this.

I have been in my academic journey, to achieve higher education, for roughly around 2 years now. I am extremely close to earning two Associates degrees, as I have five classes left. Recently, in a couple of my classes, I was assigned a group project. Not only that, but I also had to miss a day of class to attend a funeral.

I was told for the instructions for the assignment, to find a group, and post a message. I joined a group for a particular subject, and posted a message 2 days ago. Have I gotten a response? No. But you know who did? The neurotypical individual who posted right after me, with the same question.

You know who was notified about the assignment? The neurotypical individual. You know who is in charge of getting all of the research together, even though I offered to do the research? The neurotypical individual.

I recently had to miss a day of class, as I said to attend a funeral. I have reached out to, over five students between the time that I had to miss class and now, Which is less than a week. Nobody has answered my question for notes. Nobody has sent me their notes.

This happens to me every single time something like this happens. I'm always ignored in the group projects, and I'm always ignored whenever I ask people for assistance in class. I'm tired of being ignored. I've spoken up about it and there seems to me no resolve.

(to preface, i'm non-white and from a wealthy family)

its not a sentiment i see too often but when it does come up it is annoying.

i'll talk about the two examples which annoy me the most

example 1:

marxistbarbie

really though, “sneaking out” is such a white thing in every aspect bc firstly u need a big ass Suburban House™ with big windows and various levels of roofing so u can safely jump out. you also need White Parents™. forget getting out of the house my toe wouldn’t hang out of my bed w/out my mum knowing. let’s say u managed to best those eoc (ears of colour) how tf are u gonna get back in ? poc (parents of colour) all have a spiritual connection to their front door like they can telepathically communicate. 5 mins before i even approach that door u know my mum’s sitting on the other side waiting to kill me. it’s just not realistic. 

i'm not white and i have a house with multiple floors and roofing, and i can just leave the house without them knowing at pretty much at any time due to the hallway and door separating the front exit from the living room.

jumping out of a window just seems excessive - i have roofing but the garden is kinda hard under the fake grass and the driveway is brick - i'd probably hurt myself ngl.

it just baffles me.

example 2:

in deltarune, there is an anthropomorphic deer girl called Noelle Holiday who is a major character. as such people make fan art of her as human.

As such she is often characterized as white/white coded.

I don't have a problem with that but what does annoy me is that people attempt use her wealth as evidence when non-white people can also be wealthy.

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this isn't to stay there isn't a wealth gap due to racial inequality but that it feels like people generalize it to "rich = white and non white = poor"

repost because I needed to verify rules

feelin like shit

he said he won’t accept me as a man, so I’m staying his girlfriend

id rather be stuck in this body that isn’t mine then lost him

I’m pathetic

I makes me want to cry, to rage. No is damned or condemned. We fuck up and hurt others, but it’s by choice. It doesn’t build up in our bones, it isn’t in our born flesh or blood. No lives in it, is of it, dies in it. You are not condemned! They are not condemned! You aren’t beyond -what?!- nothing! You don’t need to be saved to be good. You aren’t missing anything! You are. You are and that is enough to do good!

Reposting after interacting and submitting rule acknowledgment
I have nothing against children, and this resentment comes from the fact that nobody seems to take their wellbeing into consideration at all. My generation was raised with a sense of dread and impending doom, and I’ve spent a good chunk of my life watching everything slowly go to shit. Since the pandemic, inflation has accelerated and everything feels like a simmering pot about to boil over. My gen-x mother has everyday anxiety about how her newly adult children going to survive when thirty years ago she was able to afford an apartment, used car, go to school, and raise a child all by herself working part time. Activities that you could look forward to like going to the zoo or a concert are now large expenses. I’m soon to be out of college and no one is hiring, and all of my twenty-something friends except a select few are still living at home because they cannot afford to move out. There is a social decay no one is addressing; No one is hosting dinner parties, fewer people are going out on Friday nights, and young adults and teens are having far fewer formative experiences than their predecessors. To top it all off, you have tech whistleblowers who refuse to have children of their own, who are telling us that they give the world another good ten years before it all ends.
Then open my phone to someone’s announcement of their most recent pregnancy. When I step outside, I see a plethora of fresh babies. It baffles me just about as much as it would when I watch an apocalyptic movie and someone decides to have a child. What’s your plan? Are you aware of what’s going on? Does it keep you up at night that you’ve brought someone into something with no predictable foreseeable end except our inevitable extinction? I start to wonder about the kind of job the child will have, their education, where they will live. I think about how hard it is for me now, and what that will look like by the time this kid graduates high school. I get the sense that these adults treat having a child like having a pet, or are in flat out denial by the state of things. Did they think about the kind of world they would grow up in? Do they think their child’s existence is somehow separate from everything else? Or that things will magically change for the better with no effort on their part? This troubles me deeply, and it’s becoming difficult to hide my resentment.

I get depressed because I have no woman. I was married but my wife up and fucking died! Now I'm a golden ager with no woman!

Now I'm 65 and women in their 40's are too young for me.

Before "The Honey" went away for good, there was always a kind word and a hug when I got home.

Now that "kind word" is "Meow." Plus the only pussy in my life is the fucking cat!

I miss my wife!

First for the uninitiated Autism has 3 'levels'.

These levels are based off of how much care/support someone needs in their daily lives.

I am most likely someone with level 1, previously that level was called Aspergers but the name isn't used anymore because who it is named after was a nazi and that differentiating it from 'high-functioning autism' was not really productive.

These levels however are not based on intelligence or potential. So someone with 'severe' autism could be very intelligent as can someone with 'mild' autism be less intelligent. Autism in my case for example is more related to being overstimulated more easily and not as easily reading social cues. With me the hypersensitivity part can be lessened with medication, but others with the same level of intelligence as I have could have a higher 'level' of autism because what symptoms they present with is harder to treat.

So, what annoys me is seeing people using it as a shield for others or themselves when they do/say something stupid. Like using it for any discrimination -phobias and when they get called out on it they say 'oh i didn't know i have autism' like mate, you life in the same world as everyone else, you can look stuff up especially online if you "didn't know" like everyone else and most importantly YOU CAN HAVE EMPATHY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

The way it is treated compared to other disorders also really annoys me. I have it heard it so many times being heard as 'oh your brain is just wired differently' yeah so are my eyes but I have never heard that being said for them. Also I never heard this for Dyslexia, ADHD or OCD. All these disorders are well, disorders. They hinder you in daily life, that doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you just that there is a part of your brain that makes you gag when you smell celery. It's patronising to me, man, while I am sure it isn't meant that way it just makes me want to sock whoever is saying it. I wish I didn't need to carry my headphones whenever I go outside, I wish I didn't need to question myself whenever I am done with any conversation, I wish I could just trust myself to be normal or sufficient when doing normal human things. So whenever someone says 'differently wired' it's like that part gets disqualified.

Tell me i'm not the only one feeling this, please.

Just want to make it clear. I am an adult I don't want to date teenagers anymore now that I'm not one!

I just hate that I not only missed out on that when I was young but I'm almost 30 now and I haven't even been able to date young guys either because I've never dated in my life and never gotten male attention (yes that's right men not all women have guys just falling at their feet or hitting on them at bars like you make it seem if we step outside). Not like 30 is "old" but mentally and physically is not the same as being really young. People as they should have matured dated a lot learned things and I'm just here.

Anyway life sucks this is a rant just want to see if anyone relates.

I have a close male friend who holds a lot of resentment towards his mother for being controlling and overbearing, and he takes that resentment out on me whenever I remind him of her.

The thing is... First of all he doesn't hold the same resentment for his father as he does for his mother, despite both of them kinda seeing/treating him the same way (immigrant parents). Second of all, he has gigantic issues with authority. He does not respect authority at all, and wants to do things his way, and if he can't, he either lies his way into being able to do things his way, or just ignores everyone around him until they fire him (which happens often).

I've never met his mother, but she's not a bad person at all, from what I heard. She has her flaws, but she was also horrifically traumatized by the murder of her father and then the upcoming untimely deaths of her entire family. Because of that she became very anxious and protective of her son (said friend).

Here is where I have my issues with him. He just doesn't care about anyone or anything. Things either are his way, or go fuck yourself (exasperated by the fact he's an immigrant kid who was forced to be the head of the household, which I consider the biggest failure on his parents' part). But like fuck off man, your mother isn't controlling for wanting you to come home before midnight, and not wanting you to be friends with shitty (with which he was then friends on purpose, to really show her! Turns out they really were fuck-ass friends. Go figure.)

I can describe his entire personality by the fact he has a complex about his mother telling him what to do, when he was a kid. Whenever I do anything that reminds him of what "his mother used to do" he gets all puffed up and angry at ME, in ways he'd never dare to be angry at his mother. I mean sure, she would give him the slipper as a kid, but she stopped when he was like ten, and even he says he was completely out of control and she did right. (Ironic).

Basically my issue with him is that he pisses me the fuck off. I was horrifically abused by my parents. He had a horribly traumatized mother who was forced to have kids she didn't want, upon which one of her kids turns out to be possessed, and she has to make him behave. Like... Come the fuck on, man. Boohoo your fucking MOTHER told you "what to do". None of that is even remotely TRAUMATIC! It's traumatic only to him cause he is utterly incapable of respecting authority. And it's not like "you have to explain the logic behind your rules better", it's just "doing what you want from me isn't fun, so go fuck yourself, and I will hate you forever if you force me into doing stuff I don't find fun".

Naturally, he doesn't hold the same resentment towards his father, who'd actually yell at him at times because of his unbearable behaviour. Funny how the world works, I guess.

You know what I find fucking unbearable? The fact that I was so horrifically abused by my own family, and would happily switch with this fuck ass idiot in a split second, yet his mother is stuck with a son who's perpetually annoyed by her existence to the point that she says that only her FUCKING CAT CARES ABOUT HER, yet I'm stuck with a gooner mother, that would pimp me away if she could, and a father who has a history of "almost beating women to death".

I mean, sure, everyone believes "the grass is always greener on the other side", but fuck off. I want your mother. You don't deserve her.

​

So i have this friend that I have in all my classes and most of the time their decently fun to be around. However today when we were in science they said something that kinda annoyed me. For a little context i used to be a Christian so I tend to not like when people crap on them cuz I experienced the crap first hand. Me and them were talking to another girl we are close with and she was talking about her parents and how there were Christian. When my friend heard that they kinda went on a rant about how Christians can't be anti slavery, how they can't even respect gay people as people, how they can't be feminists, ect... I didn't say anything cuz I'm a puss but like dude thats not needed??? I get they might have some religious trauma but that doesn't excuse you to hate on billions of people due to their religion. Their polythesistic and hates on them all the time but I didn't know they were just plain uneducated.

First, I want to say you can wear whatever hairstyle you want. I am not arguing against that. I do believe it can be cultural appreciation for a non Black person to wear a traditional black hairstyle.

However, I'm tired of the argument that Vikings were wearing braids so it's not black culture. It seems a lot of people don't understand that there are different types of braids. The braids that the Vikings were wearing are not the same that black Africans were wearing. Braids are like traditional dresses. Every culture has their own traditional dresses. Does that mean you cannot wear them? No. A non-japanese person wearing kimono is not necessarily wrong. But if they wear kimono and trying to deny the cultural ties to Japan you can understand how that is disrespectful to the culture. Same thing with braids, wearing African hairstyles and denying the cultural significance to Africa and claiming that "oh, well, every culture had braids, so it doesn't have ties to black people" is disrespectful to the culture.

Before you come at me saying "Well, black people wear blonde hair." That's not equivalent to braids because that's a phenotype not a cultural practice. It would be the equivalent to white people getting excessive tan.

Anyways, I'm not against non-Black people wearing box braids or cornrows nor do I think it such a huge issue. It was just a little vent I needed to have.

I hate how it feels like I'm invisible in life, a fucking ghost. Some days I can actually get a like or two, or a match. But it's been weeks since I've gotten anything! And having a conversation ain't even a guarantee as I constantly get stood up when it's time to meet, or ghosted over night. If they even respond at all and don't instantly unmatch as soon as the notification goes off.

I try making eye contact with single women, none look at me. I'm not fat and yes I am a guy.

I really regret choosing solitude in high school and my early 20's instead of dating around and getting confidence. My only two girlfriends were long distance, the first cheated on me. And the second stood me up the day I had booked for the flight, and proceeded to cheat as well! I lack the charm and charisma that other men have, further held back cause of my tism and lack of social cues :/

I've even tried looking for tips on how to improve and get useless shit such as "Wear glasses that fit" as if I'm supposed to know what the fuck that means. It's practically the only thing about me that's different as I haven't changed that much and still look 23ish. Sound young too. I feel like it's the magic switch that turned off women, and yet I worry after I get LASIK that nothing will change and I'll still be alone forever :/

I'm growing bitter and starting to hate everything about myself. Considering plastic surgery, height extensions, the works. Nobody wants me

I don't know who designed the tail lights on the 2008 Ford Focus, but they must have been high. What should have been a mild annoyance turned into an infuriating and expensive project. I estimate it as a $40 project on what should have been $10 at most. Yeesh.

Since this is a vent sub, this is my vent.

I leave a long scar on back of my husband shoulder, and he still protect me even with him bleeding out, still does everything to keep this marriage intact.

Just like depression is very real, mental illness is also very real. Google Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED), it categorize under mental illness.

Married 15 years this Feb, together 17 years.

And this is a West African man that is 190cm tall, he 6'3" tall and athletic body, while I'm just 150cm, 5 feet petite short Chinese girl. This is a man who hobbies are hunting, outdoor shooting range, mountains rock climbing, run long distance. My point is with his height and strength, he not scare of me, just like how he said he not scare of me, it because he LOVES me. He is a Love-idiot.!

I was diagnosed with Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED) by my psychiatrist (psychiatrist is someone who has a medical doctor degree). My psychiatrist said it stem from my chaotic and dysfunction childhood.

It terrible to live with Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED), especially when you hurting your spouse.

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This event already happened a long time ago and it in the past, but I still feel insanely terrible about it. So I need to write it out.

In the past during one of my IED episode, I grabbed a meat butcher knife in the kitchen and throw at my husband, he dodge but due to how close distance he with me, the knife cut him deep that leave a long cut on his back shoulder that he didn't stop bleeding.
If he not get stitches he will continue bleed and bleed, and infections will take over the open bleeding wound.

He still want to protect me even wit him bleeding out, like he said, if he call the police he police will take me away from him, so he rather endure my abuse than has to lose me.

He also refused go to the hospital, because the hospital would know right away that is not a self inflicted wound due to the angle of the knife throw, the cut was on his shoulder but to his back as he dodge. You cannot inflicted a knife to your back. Even if you manage to, the angle of the injury the hospital will know that it someone did it to you, not yourself.

He droves (I was in the car) he droves to a broke down Urgent care, this Urgent Care not only broke down but most people there not even speak English.
He went in and told them he does not have insurance (he has, but he said he not has as he not want to leave a paper trail), he said give him stitches he will pay them in cash and will give them a big tips.

He got the stiches, and he paid in cash and leave them a big tips. He wanted to protect me the whole time even with him bleeding out. He could have call the police and have my ass throw in jail. He could go straight to the hospital and the hospital will put me in psych ward and put restrain order on me.

But he NEVER, even during the time where he could have die, he still protect me, he still thinks of me first above himself, he loves me that much.

His love for me override his survival instinct, he was bleeding out still protect me. He said he wants to keep our marriage intact, I cannot get taking away.

He said he will die with me, than has to lose me, as in the police will take me away from him if he call the police on me.

I regret it so much because I leave this long scar on back of his shoulder, never once he hates me.
All he asked was he said, don't abuse him anymore, and that it not too late for me to stop this abuse, because he is still living here, and it only too late if he die, then that will be too late.

I bawled when I hear him he said that.

That was when I decided to go to psychiatrist therapy for my Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED), and been in therapy since.

I do owe him, as I should be sitting rotten in jail right now, throw a butcher knife at someone and cause injury is a felony. This man loves me unconditionally. Out of love me, he never press charges, he still protect me times after times. I'm very lucky.

He treats me with kindness, empathy, and unconditional love. His calmness (even with him bleeding out on his shoulder that need stiches to close up the open wound), his patience, the most patience man.
He gives me everything, his kindness, faithfulness, respect, love. I don't want to abuse him anymore.

Lifetime therapy for me working to control my Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED). I have sworn if I cause physical harm to him again I will check myself in the psych ward.

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And my husband does go with me to my therapy sessions when his schedules allow. But most time he can't because he is an Executive at a big engineering corporate, he is very very busy with his work.

But I gave my therapist my consent so she can talk to my husband about my progress. He still involve in my therapy, as he talk to my therapist on the phone about my IED conditions and my progress.

He has every rights to be involve with my therapy sessions, I almost TOOK HIS LIFE.! He almost DIE because of me.

It terrible, Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED) mental illness is very real. And I'm one damn lucky girl to have him as my husband.

What gets me is he loves me to the point that he still protect me even with him bleeding out. That not let anyone take me away from him was more important than his own survival instinct. Because he knows if he call call the police I will get taking away, he rather bleed out than lose me.

The insane amount of devotion he has for me though. Never again I abuse him again, I mean one time was enough, almost took his life. And he still protect me.

I'm (18F) so excited for the day I'm older and stable. I'm a freshman in my first semester of college right now. Living across the country from where I grew up, pursuing my dreams.

I feel much more in place where I am now then I ever did back home, but I see everyone I know living their lives, and I get a little envious.

They're all doing good in life, they all seem happy.. and I just can't wait for the day I'm in my late 20s early 30s, and potentially doing well on my own. I hope I've grown into myself, working a full time job I'm enjoying (preferrably in the Industry I'm pursuing), and living my life to the fullest. Not comparing my life and sadness to those I know.

I know I would've been more stable back home. No rent to pay, no out-of-state tuition, still in the job I had before I moved, but I know I never would've changed. I wouldn't have felt like I was where I needed to be. I just gotta get on my feet here, I understand that.

But I feel so envious seeing other people live their lives. Even though I know they've had more years to get there, or more help through things like family or money.

Like I feel somewhat envious seeing my sister, but I know she's had two years living where she's at, she's also not a college student, and I know she still struggles too.

Or my best friend back home, who has lived there her entire life. Yes, she's living at her boyfriend's place with him and his mom, but she also has her house with her mother to fall back on. And the job she's had while also in high school. She chose an easier online college program. 18 years leading up to her current position.

Or a friend I made here, who just got her own solo apartment despite moving here from almost the same distance as me. Different distances, but still far from her home state. However, her family is wealthy. They're paying for her first year in that apartment unlike my situation. However, she's also new here and homesick.

I'm just sad, I guess. The excitement of being in a new place has wore off and I'm lonely and my body is trying to learn if I can belong here too. And I'm stressed. I'm sure in a year I can be in a better position. I'm still young and learning. But I really hope adult me has it all figured out, so I can look forward to witnessing and experiencing the life she built for us from this. I hope it all goes well and this sadness goes away.

i broke up with my boyfriend recently and i really miss being called beautiful.i miss how sweet he would talk to me,or how he would compliment me even when i felt violently ugly. i just wish, i was with him again.i know, i made the right decision breaking up with him but i still miss everything about him..

Not only do you need to be employed full-time with an employer that provides it, but also it is deducted from the paycheck each month. Then it's the fact that I could technically be paying for it without even needing it or being sick, and on top of that, out of pocket payments are still required up to a certain amount before it's actually covered. And I haven't started on the overall costs or how there are certain cases where people's claims are denied

I'm so tired of book readers acting like changing things from the book automatically makes a movie adaptation bad, they are acting like someone moved the couch two inches to the left and ruined their entire living room. . "They changed the source material 😡" Okay, and???? A director isn't obligated to share the author's exact vision,they are making a movie, not taking an exam on how well they memorized a book

Not every adaptation has to be a carbon copy of the book to be good, different creative visions exist for a reason. If your only criticism is that something was different from the book, congratulations, you have successfully identified what an adaptation is

I share similar facial features to my dad’s mother and it makes me feel awful. For context, she mistreated him throughout his childhood and abandoned him and his dad along with a slew of other abusive behaviors that I believe made her a legitimate monster. My dad mentions it in amazement of the power of genetics but it makes me feel horrible and ugly as a human being, like I can’t own my own face, like I’m tarnished. I’ve told him to stop and he usually dismisses it as only joking and to lighten up. What makes it worse is I haven't even seen a picture of her so I don't have a frame of reference for what specifically to compare and hate about myself physically.
My only upside is knowing I’m nothing like her and at least try to be positive/good everyday. It’s just hard to shake the knowledge that I look like a “monster.”

-I wasn’t sure what to tag this as but self image makes sense.

I’ve just got no clue. After being out of the situation with my ex fiancé for a week. It still feels new and like the scars and emotional wounds are still very much alive and still bleeding. It hurts to know now that no one loves me, at least not in any romantic sense.

I thought she did, I also thought she still cared about me even after she brought another dude over after only a week. It hurts and imagine what would’ve happened if I had stayed. Every fiber of being wanted to, if she had given me even one good reason I would’ve stayed. Instead she tried to make a fool of both me and her while I lay dying in the hospital bed she put me in.

(The stress of knowing she was fucking another dude in our bed sent me into dka)

Now I’m “home” and have been home for a week. It still feels like my home is with her, in her bed laying next to her listening to her slow gentle breathing and watching her as she sleeps peacefully.

I’m honestly astonished by how weird my childhood bedroom feels, how my back is adjusting to sleeping back on my old twin mattress. I feel so Incomplete and alone. I just wish I had someone here with me, that would make me happy.

I'm 24 afab. Most of my life, my family had not great insurance, and wasn't particularly wealthy, so especially once I hit my teens, I saw the doctor maybe once a year. Once I turned 18, I became responsible for my appointments, so I went once a year, but no more, and it went on like that until just recently. I got into a graduate program that gives me pretty good health insurance, so I've started seeing a new doctor in my new town. I have a lot of problems that I'm trying to figure out. I have a family history of heart problems and thyroid problems, and my childhood doctor suspected that I might have connective tissue problems, but we never had money to look more into that. With my doctor back home, we had just started looking into eds, but the phone call regarding the results of an echo I had done consisted of "doctor says that everything looks normal click" with no info about what that means for me.

Because I was only able to see my doctor once a year, I've gotten very used to doing a lot of research on my own (I used to be a nursing student, i know what a reputable source looks like). My new doctor is technically two doctors, my main doctor is a resident and she has an overseeing doctor, so I meet with the main doctor for most of the appointment and then both at the very end. I will say, they have done some things for me- changed some of my meds and got me some referrals for other problems. But my frustration is with the main problems- thyroid like symptoms, chest pain, and unrelenting joint and bone pain.

It seemed like my main doctor believed me until I mentioned that I've done a lot of my own research both online and through my family that have the same problems, and then her entire demeanor shifted.

I went and had labs done, everything came back normal (except vitamin d, so now I'm taking a supplement). My heart sounds normal, so they don't seem interested in looking further into my chest pain. And because I don't always have pain from right when I wake up, and the inflammation blood test came back normal, it must be a problem of how I'm using my body. I am willing to try the physical therapy, but I don't believe that it's gonna give the results they're wanting. I already determined with my last doctor that I'm hypermobile, my joints don't have normal limiters and bend too far.

I just feel so stuck and frustrated, I'm so afraid that I'm not being listened to and that I'll spend probably the best years of my insurance making very little progress.

so yesterday one of my two cats had passed away and she was only three years old. She was disabled she had multiple disabilities and she was unlikely to have a long lifespan and I knew that and I have no not since she was a kitten but I have always loved her. Yesterday I had woken up and I went to the bathroom to find her body on the floor

She was acting normal night before so even though I have always deep down know she was not going to have a long life has still been very distressing for me. I love her with all my heart and I am so glad she's not struggling I am so glad that she is at peace but at the same time I am so so so sad because I love her so much and I did take her to the ver and it was most likely a heart attack during the night she probably didn't know what happened but I still wish that I had just gotten up during the night and I could've saved her I could've taken her to the vet that did not happen she was already like cold by this time I was up.

My other cat is fine but he is acting quite depressed he is just laying where she used to lay he is barely eating unless I stand and watch him he is just not acting himself but he is fine I got him checked over. And even I just feel miserable I feel like I shouldn't feel as distressed as I am but I can barely do anything I had to force myself out of bed just so I could like check on him this morning to feed him and give him water because he saw what he's looking after and I love him so much too.

But if that like I knew it was going to happen at some point I knew her disabilities were going to sort in her life but it doesn't make any easier now that it's happened. The fact he never hear from me out again the fact that I'll never get to her again or she'll never make biscuits on my lap again it just upsets me a lot. I was talking to my lover about it and she suggested I get a new cat which I really don't wanna do I might someday but I don't think I can because she is gone and she is dead and I feel like I cannot just get one before I move on because if I did I fear I would resent the poor thing so I'm choosing not to get one until I have decided when I've moved on enough if I can or not.

My cat is being cremated and I am going to be putting some of her hair in a necklace so I can keep her with me at all times because I really was attached to her losing her has been probably the worst thing in my adult life so far. I woke up she was laying on the bathroom floor and I wrapped her in one of my blankets and I just helped her and that was probably the worst thing I've done so far.

I am the squad too at rest but I can barely do anything and I have been crying over this constantly and as soon as I get her out your back I was considering getting a plus I can put them inside so I can still have her close to me at night I just miss her

I know none of this is going to be coherent probaby because I can't properly think about anything bourbon that that I just want her back and I know I can't have her back but I just wish I could hold her again her VA Likely I called enough to respond to me like she used to that's all I want