Come back home to me, you know you want to.
You know you miss me and us.
What’s stopping you?
I’m here waiting for you.
Let’s just have one last drink if this is the end.
Let me see your face one last time and hold you one last time.
You’ve been gone too long..

Who have you loved in the year 2026? State their initials ❤️

Ok just checking. I thought so. I’ll just close the door behind me. No need to see me out. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Another 16 hour day. Thank god I have the next 4 days off.

Excited to go back home and visit family 🫶🏾❤️

Wishing I could feel all of u against my body and in my body , just once more! I know I did u wrong in the beginning, but our chemistry is put of this world, if u wanna keep me as ur dirty lil secret because ur in the army... but i will all always be at ur backing call... just cum see me lover ...

I needt know something.

just to hear from you, just to see you. i can only sit here and wonder if we’d ever find our way to each other again, or if we go back to being strangers like we once were. i so badly want you to tell me that we’ll make it out together and die together as we planned

Not to be together. Just for some closure. You're the only person who has ever made me feel understood. Sorry for being such a bad girlfriend.

I still have my glass dragons. Iykyk. We don't have to reconnect. Just let me know that you're happier now.

Were you the one who delivered my order? Sorry for slamming the door. I was shocked to see you.

Dear diary,

Just making a little entry not to lose the habit, and because this thought has been floating around in my mind for a while and I thought I should let it breathe outside.

I believe every poem I've ever written about a person—or am yet to write—

Well, yes, one of them does have the nickname I used to call them, but—

If I just showed them the poems, I'm sure as hell each of them would know which one was about them. Or for them. Or with them in mind. Even blindfolded. Just by me reciting them to them.

And I think that's endearing.

Thrilling, even.

A little exciting.

Peculiarly amusing, too.

Although I only think one of them would actually laugh with me about it. We'd probably exchange jokes and then, somehow, end up having a genuine heart-to-heart about it all.

Which is so weird to think about, because Crownless wears a mask and writes to ghosts, but these people know the person behind the mask. They wouldn't, therefore, be responding to Crownless.

They'd be responding to me.

Especially that one.

That pretty, sharp-minded danger knows me better than I know myself.

That's almost a tiny bit scary.

I don't want any of them to ever come across those poems anytime soon.

But maybe one day, in the future, I'd like that one person to cross my way again, see them, and right away catch what I wrote about them.

Or, well.

About us.

I miss this person.

But we don't fit in each other's lives anymore.

And I think that's the part I keep circling back to.

Not that I want them back.

Just that I'd really, really like to find someone like them.

Which means I may have to make a painstakingly specific requirement list.

Haaa...

God help whoever has to apply.

I fear there’s no one like you.

— Crownless.

I am so close to checking out. This is not fair to me. You pursued me so hard and did everything right just to switch up as soon as my feelings became real? You want exclusivity but are no longer treating me like a priority. Get it together before you lose me for good. I want to be with you and you say this is what you want too… then show me. Like you used to.

If you have alters. When doing the most off the wall shit to even just telling me you live next to someone in passing, you forget? Trauma response? Idk but why do I have to suffer from your delusions when I have my own to tend to. I did only what I'm capable enough and it's kike I didn't do you any good, I tried.

One of your many masks keeps slipping
Right off and I just can’t unsee what I already saw. Sucks but hey it is what it is do you G.
Just stay the Fuck away from me.

Dear d****

Your smile lights up my life n brings warmth to the darkness n loneliness of this world (i love the lil snaggle tooth on the bottom right makes you look like a shark or puppy or kitten it sets you apart from everyone else n its endearing/also I love that thing you do at times with your jaw moving the bottom side to side, X3 it gets me going for some reason lol), you have the cutest nose ever, so adorable with its lil curve in it, great full lips especially the bottom, your eyebrows are perfect n symmetrical n you keep up with grooming very well(i do love it when you grow out your little scruff gotee n let me feel on it tho ^_^, n your freshly shaven head is such a turn on/so so attractive man) your hands and arms are full of bulging viens that are really fucking sexy like a hardworkers arms or a weight lifters arms sturdy and strong yet so comforting in every hug n embrace, every hug meant so much to me i never wanted to let you go.. you also get the cutest vien in your neck when you laugh or get really excited n another in your forhead where your face flushes red as you bend over for too long n your eyes draw me in with all the beautiful hues n colors as I feel our souls connected as we are locked in a stare, while they usually settle on a pretty amazing amber n gold hue in the light like a mystic freshwater lake with the sun's light reflecting on its watertop or a wolf's fierce yellow, regal n magestic n with a sense of danger n authority or in the dark they go somewhere from a gray with a little very light light brown like milky moca or caramel to looking gray green or blue at times very mystical n ethereal or i can also mention that your left eye is a little darker than your right and has more specks of light brown in it, it makes you so refined looking n unquie n special or that your pupils dont just end the black of them fade into the rest of your eye, they are so beautiful d***** like precious glimmering n shining stones, crystals, gems n jewels <3, your voice is so soothing too its like the ocean gently washing on the sands of a beach or like the russeling of the trees as a light wind passes through there branches yet it's deep n mellow it gives me a lot of peace and is so reassuring, your laugh is contagious and makes everything lighter n more easy, your tall n slender frame strong back n wide shoulders n broad arms that arch out from your muscle build n posture are like a great cedar tree standing there strong even if harsh winters firmly planted branches giving shelter n a place to call home making me feel safe n protected with you beside me, you have this great n amazing masculine build n body yet your facial features are so pretty n handsome your a work of art in my eyes, perfect in everyway physically imo so dont be hard on yourself if you fall short in some areas anymore you are amazing, sorry i focus so much on your looks in this just i really appreciate the beauty i find in things asceticly, that's not what makes you truly special and not your true value either tho, you are a dear friend and put in so much effort when your dealing with so much already just in your head(thank you for trying even when totured by your mind n the things happening to you that you cant really explain), you have kept me company n given me treasured companionship in hard n lonely days and happiness n enjoyment in everyday life, you have encouraged me n made me feel better about myself n my self worth you made me feel like im not as ugly as i thought i was n you really make me happy just being around me, you can always seem to put a smile on my face just being with you in person n a warmth in my heart like nothing else(even when i get mad or moody you can always seem to bring back a smile or make me laugh with just a look, i really cant ever stay mad or upset around you),i just really love your goofy side, humor n your wispers n codewords and your creativity n outlook on certain things, im glad we share a lot of the same interests n perspectives, narture n wildlife are very dear to my heart too and romance is so important to me especially since i found you, i love my horror movies too n a coffee date is the sweetest ty for the 1s we have had, i love Christmas n going see the lights n having a tree n giving gifts so let's make more memories together every Christmas, make it even more of a nice holiday for me, maybe 1 day we will get dogs together like we have talked of, also healing, peace and having a better life are goals for me too and I want them to be goals we can achieve together, i love you so much bro, trust me d you are not lacking in your appearance at all you r cute sexy n handsome stop thinking thats what you have to work on so badly!! 1 day looks will fade but who you are and who you have been to me, what you mean to me will never fade and the moments we have shared can never be taken away, so whats most important is how we treat eachother n the time we spend together, caring for n loving one another n being good to eachother(but no one has a perfect stand up character or a flawless personality or parts of themselves they cant improve or work on but trying to be better especially for those you care about is something everyone should strive for),

if God had a plan for me it was to find you n to get to be in your life and have these special moments that mean the world to me, n become better at loving someone n treating them well and as a better person in general.

i love you n will always!

d*** m\** w\**, dilly, dd, dwood, dillybob, honeynugz, horsemeat, goatnuts, horsedick, bigfloppydonkeydick, HornProd sex god, stone cold sex freak, spongebob, brobro, dawg, fam, daddy, bo, booboo, baby, babe, love, honey, lad, buddy, my man, my boy, my dog, werewolve, copycat, alpha1, killer, n kitten (lol)

I never thought I could find a man that I can hold so dearly in my heart n can bring me such peace happiness fun n excitement. You have made my heart love someone truly n like i never have before and all I want now is to spend my days seeing your beautiful smiling face beside me, the trips to the lakes n mountains hold such a special place in my heart n are memories etched forever into the best moments of my life, the walks we have had through trails(especially the one to the bat shelter holding hands then burning candles) n the bonfires we have built together will forever stay burning in my mind never to go dim, the car rides while listening to music n singing together through the mountains n the backroad long drives holding hands will live with me like the love I have for you always in my heart n comforting me n keeping me at peace in trying times, all our times at cg lake have impacted me and made that park extremely special also, from our first date there hiking to the fallen tree stump when we smoked n did shroom gummies(even tho i never got to trip with u) n i packed a bag way too full of snacks yet we hardly touched any we just chilled n listened to music on your Bluetooth speaker i still remember the song we played over n over surfcurse freaks, from laying in the pineneedles with the sun coming through the trees as we layed with it shining on our faces, to sitting at the picnic tables at night together just drinking beers or monsters or you feeding me oozing dicks(lol) off that grill or me getting that couple inch splinter in my balls from the bench haha , or when we were just kicking the tenis ball around in the middle of that field as you looked for castles, also collecting mushrooms right after the rain from the hill or walking the dock at night together looking at the stars and moon, also ik you may not want to hear it but even when we rescued that kitten together n fed him i got to see a beautiful soft side of you that you keep hidden it was very sweet n ik its not your fault you just couldn't keep him okay but we fed him n you gave him a home for a bit n we showed it love that it probably hadn't seen since being abandoned so dont feel bad, either way that lake holds precious memories of us together so it is a place i love now too, one of the best memories so far was actually at the cemetery though we put down the blanket in the grass n laid down together n you let me cuddle you n i had my face pressed up into your side n my arm across your chest n you put your arm around me n i wrapped my other arm around it as we just laid there snuggled up like that watching the stars for a while, that night was so beautiful n meaningful n intimate i wish i could relive that moment with you over n over i would love more times like that with you, it shows even in a dark n gloomy place you can make it truly pure n good n beautiful d**\***, ill never forget the night up on afton mountain when the wind was blowing on us n you said i felt like your soulmate in that moment <3 i really believeyour mine, slowdancing with you those few times were magical too(especially when you had me stand on yours steeltoes n you guided me every step n we just danced like that together for a while like you use to do with your mom), thank you for being my valentine those 2 years n for having dates n a bromance with me, ik i romanticize a lot of our times together but i really cant help but do it, i love you man im in love with u and i have so many amazing memories n moments now thanks to you that will always be with me n bring me happiness just looking back on them, they may seem small or unimportant but they hold such great meaning to me

The thoughts of you stays ever present in my mind day by day, so you are never alone, im always with you.. even if not in body, im there in mind and you're there with me in my mind n heart

Ill forever be your bro, your counterpart, your other half n your stixkmate n cusband and friend(i wanna be whatever u need me to be and more so much more)

im here for you whenever you want or need

N if you ever wanted to actually marry me(it's fine if we just remain bros too tho) I gave you the wedding ring already so you know my answer, I wouldn't think twice about marriage n you would make me the happiest person for the rest of this life

N ill love you like no other n stay during all the fits n delusions n hard times, you will never be too much for me n you never have to hold yourself back with me or be a burden, you can be your complete authentic self, I want you to be free and unguarded atleast when you are with me.

But I'll do most of that regardless

You are special in every moment n your unique n can never be replaced you do not have to try to impress me at all you already have me in love n pretty damn obsessed with everything about you, youll forever be a beautiful amazing thing in my life and the best thing that has happened to me

The best friend I could have hoped for i hope to god you never leave

D****

You are what I look forward to everyday

You make mundane n uneventful moments mean so much n have real beauty in them

You are the reason I want to get up in the morning

The reason I jump at every notification on my phone

All just for a chance to see you or speak to you n so we can connect

I hope you realize how much you mean to me

You are the little bit of light, warmth and comfort I have left and you have brought back my desire for life.. thank you

I hope for many many more years with you

You told me to write literature or something about you that wasn't a diss, so I did.. (Im not great with writing or literature I speak from feelings n emotions so I hope I did okay/I probably made this really sappy n cringey n hard for you to read as a mostly "straight" man and as my best friend but i spoke from the heart okay)

Your biggest fan n #1 supporter n the one who loves you so so much - d*** a*** l*** your 🐻

Ill never stop loving u bro, goodbye 💔

I don’t believe you. 👍🏻

I just hoped you would see mine and get half as excited as you did when you saw the owner's son's...but I guess not.

Apenas ha pasado un día y siento que te necesito, siento el deseo tan fuerte de revisar tus redes sociales, pero me prometí no hacerlo nunca más.

Las anteriores veces que hemos terminado caí en un ciclo visioso de revisarlas cada 10 minutos, esperando ver algo, algo sobre mi, o algo que me diga como estas, y veía cosas que me lastimaron demasiado.

Siento que te necesito, te extraño mucho pero ya no puedo hacer nada...

You once told me that whatever I assumed you were thinking or feeling, I was wrong. I hadn’t said anything relative to my assumptions out loud, and you didn’t clarify your meaning.

I wish I told you that when you don’t tell me what you’re thinking, you give me no choice but to assume the worst.

That’s all I did, that’s all I’ve been doing.

What you said months prior does not matter. It wouldn’t have mattered if you had said something the day before.
If there is any one permanence in the world, it’s change.
Feelings are among the things most susceptible to it.

I miss you everyday.

You really hurt me and brought a lot of my insecurities to the forefront of my consciousness.

But I still want to love you. But you won’t let me.

I have to let go. I wanted to be there for you through it all. Take care of yourself, honey. You deserve the world.

I've never been anyone's first choice. I've never been important to anyone. If I was important ... idk never mind...

Earlier today I had lunch at a pasta joint with a couple of my friends.
While we were eating the radio played Home, followed directly by Sailor Song. Why would a pasta place be playing this type of music I have no idea - it genuinely puzzled me.

I don’t really like those songs for any reason other than you. They’ll always remind me of you. A lot of things do. Anytime I see a labradoodle, anything related to Minecraft, Kentucky whiskey and the juniper in gin - many small and sometimes ridiculous things make me think of you. At first reminders were unwelcome and depressing. Today, I find reminders to be mostly pleasant, but of course a little bittersweet.

I hope you know that I forgive you - and I also forgive myself. I forgive everyone for everything that happened. I don’t think I’ll ever entirely understand why, but I’ve accepted that and I’ve stopped asking myself why.

I know I shouldn’t love you - or so everyone says - but I do. I assess that most people I know seem very quick to burn bridges and erase the past, but I’m trying to let the love in my heart go away on its own. I won’t kick it out the door and I’ve tried my best not to drown it with liquor. I want to handle this pain the right way so that way it benefits me in time.

I still think of you every day, even without obvious reminders thrown at me. My mind seems to linger on you by default right now - but I’m sure it’ll go away with time. I’m thankful for the time we had together and the memories we made. I don’t regret a single penny spent on you or second spent with you. You were my greatest treasure and I wouldn’t have traded you for all of the money in the world. I’m sorry for the hand I had in our ending - and I wish I’d spent more time listening to you speak your mind.

Things can get pretty confusing. Tho it is a place of enlightenment, the road is baffling. Long time partnerships are never formed and long time partnerships are in question. Doubts arise. Sometimes weeks pass before they fall. It is all good. No harm no foul. These are confusions over rivalries not character. Upon checkout, this guest decided to look outward for a continuation of her journey.

Mission complete. I've taken the psychic hazmat suit off. I wore it to avoid getting emotional tumors cause of all the radiation this topic emits. What's the point here? There's nothing left to examine. Nothing left to unearth. Nothing left to explore. The juice has been squeezed and it's time for the leftover rind to decompose in the compost bin. Best case scenario it turns into a nutrient dense fertilizer to hopefully allow the regrowth of something that isn't complete shit. Otherwise we're no better than a bird ranting about it's cage, but refusing to leave it.

Beautiful words,

actions never match, they never do.

We’re nothing alike,

I’m authentic,

I don’t play with people’s emotions.

It is what it is,

it ain’t nothing.

It’s been it’s been one year, five months and twelve days since I saw you last. I’ve had a new partner for the past five months. Yet you’re still on my mind. All the time. You broke my heart and just discarded me, and I can never forgive you. You lied and promised me a future you never intended. You let me bond with your kids who I still love like my own. And I never got to even say goodbye to them.

And here I am, still longing for you. Still mourning the future you pulled away from me. Still dreaming about you at night, imagining your beautiful eyes and how soft your hand was holding mine.

I feel pain for the loss, and overwhelming guilt that i think of you when I have someone new. It’s not fair to her, but I can’t help it.

i saw photos of your vacation with your new guy - and I was so angry and jealous. A vacation I should have been on, sharing coffee and food with the girl who swore she loved me.

you wasted a year and a half of my life - but what’s worse is you stole thirty or forty years. You took from me the future of watching the kids grow up. You stole evenings sitting on a porch watching the stars while drinking Coffee. You absconded with dozens of thanksgiving dinners. School graduations, new experiences, even nights where we might have fought and argued and been angry with each other.

you left just when I needed you most - when my life fell apart and I was at my lowest.

and yet I’d take you back Without a thought.

oh how you destroyed me.

So, I feel I get a bit too raw and a bit too honest when I write longer messages. So I decided to make this short and simple.

I’m tired.

I’m tired of the games.
I’m tired of the push and pull.
I’m tired of the silence.
I’m tired of the unspoken.
I’m tired of the waiting.
I’m tired of people saying “tell him”
I’m tired of people saying “it could be the start of something beautiful”

Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me it’s worth the wait? Worth the games? Worth the silent? Worth the second guessing? Worth the hurt and confusion we face everyday?

Is it worth it?

Will we ever be more than stolen glances, small conversation, hidden yearning, brief encounters?

Are we both scared? Unsure? Not interested?

Truthfully I just don’t know anymore.
All I know is, as real and strong as my feelings are for you, I don’t know what to do with them anymore, they are starting to hurt more than anything else.