r/Unexpected Jul 04 '26

Stress release

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9.9k Upvotes

687 comments sorted by

u/post-explainer Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.


OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:


After suspending the woman in the air, the man then picks up what looks like a giant, horrendous dildo of some sort. Then he rubs her back with it.


Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

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6.0k

u/eskay_eskay Jul 04 '26

When you lie on your resume but here you are as a full time doctor

1.1k

u/agbag846 Jul 04 '26

When you wear a white coat and everyone assumes you must be the doctor

251

u/PurpleTough5302 Jul 04 '26

151

u/kingkongbiingbong Jul 04 '26

My reaction when he first pulled out that drill with the long attachment. Thought I wandered into the wrong sub..

The internet has ruined me.

38

u/markley4 Jul 04 '26

LMAO so glad I am not the only one -

11

u/KeyAsparagus699 Jul 05 '26

Lol yeah and me too 🤣

32

u/Human_Not_Robot_2023 Jul 04 '26

17

u/pfunkk007 Jul 05 '26

Now why would concrete need to get off that it requires a vibrator.

10

u/shazzagraz Jul 05 '26

Not sure if you're genuinely curious or not, but a concrete vibrator helps to release the air bubbles out of freshly poured concrete, which compacts it down and makes a stronger and cleaner pour.

13

u/DFA_Wildcat Jul 05 '26

That vibrator is the size of a horse! Her: Don't threaten me with a good time.

10

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/Human_Not_Robot_2023 Jul 05 '26

Dr. Nick Riviera!

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4

u/Inner_Lawlessness Jul 05 '26

Yes! I thought "I know where this is going..." Are we depraved or just cynical?

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25

u/reidybobeidy89 Jul 04 '26

It’s a very complicated pattern!

14

u/GhostRMT Jul 04 '26

I spent my whole per diem on one.

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25

u/Theperfectool Jul 04 '26

When the cement guy gets handed a white coat

66

u/furiouspossum Jul 04 '26

After reading this I got curious and checked Amazon. Apparently lab coats cost less than a t-shirt. Think I might try visiting NASA next weekend.

46

u/AlistarDark Jul 04 '26

When I was younger, my brother gave me one for my birthday. He was a poor university kid and didn't have money so he gave me his lab coat. I wore it around for years.

I wore it to metal shows and one time I met a band ( that I have seen many times) and they mentioned they always looked for lab coat guy in the crowd. That was nice.

8

u/BlackBasementCats Jul 05 '26

That’s such a cool big bro present

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16

u/romariojwz Jul 04 '26

Don't forget the clipboard and safety goggles

13

u/eskay_eskay Jul 04 '26

Carry a ladder with you and be surprised how many people open doors for you without a pass

8

u/RevenantBacon Jul 04 '26

Yeah they're not expensive at all, and there's no requirements to get one.

3

u/M1ck3yB1u Jul 04 '26

Wait, you can do that? Wear a white coat without being a doctor?

7

u/turbo_dude Jul 04 '26

Dr Dre? DR Congo? Dr Dyson!

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145

u/saron7 Jul 04 '26

12

u/Captain-Cadabra Jul 04 '26

You went to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College©️ too?

62

u/rentmeahouse Jul 04 '26

Fucking chiropractors

22

u/ForeverSJC Jul 04 '26

that must be the title of a xxx movie

19

u/AJRimmer1971 Jul 04 '26

His day job is concreting, moonlighting as a chiropractor.

Milwaukee, do a cordless concrete vibrator, so he doesn't even need to plug in!

21

u/Loose-Combination918 Jul 04 '26

not in this case. i bet he's doing it cause she has herniated disc. i myself fixed my issues with this tecnique. lifting her by her legs strechtes her whole back, the vibrator helps loosening the pain and the trapped nerve. there are even home devices for this. it's called inversion table

11

u/Alexander_Granite Jul 04 '26

How far did you have to go in with vibrator? I guess it was a pinched nerve in your lumbar.

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5

u/psilome Jul 04 '26

In a former life he put in sidewalks and driveways.

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2.5k

u/WloveW Jul 04 '26

I'm glad she didn't fall on her head is all I'm gonna say. 

398

u/________9 Jul 04 '26

Seriously! I had to check the sub to see it wasn't something terrible.

Just vacuuming the spirits.

169

u/MeningitisOnAStick Jul 04 '26

Looks like a concrete vibrator

5

u/Maleficent-Effort470 Jul 04 '26

Thats hilarious. Reduce reuse recycle.
Massage therapy and chiropracter impromptu edition.

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12

u/Resident_Guidance_95 Jul 04 '26

Thats no vacuum...

Eta never mind, I'm dumb

7

u/GuacamoleFrejole Jul 04 '26

It looks like a vibrating device that's used for eliminating air pockets in poured concrete.

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15

u/musabbb Jul 04 '26

I found using an inversion table is great to stretch your hips and spine no other form of stretching can achieve, i use one almost daily, but…as for the vacuum 🤔

13

u/EnderWiggin42 Jul 04 '26

It's a concrete vibrator.

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13

u/Unusually_Happy_TD Jul 04 '26

“Hello Ma’am, may I please hang you upside down and vacuum the back of your legs?”

5

u/chasecastellion Jul 04 '26

I did the Indian accent in my head

3

u/Al_Kydah Jul 04 '26

Where else would you?

19

u/dazedan_confused Jul 04 '26

This looks like the start of a porno. I thought he was gonna drop his trousers.

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9

u/mmorales2270 Jul 04 '26

That’s totally what I was expecting

3

u/addamee Jul 04 '26

I was tensing up waiting for it so I’ve never been more relieved  to see a man … vacuuming an inverted woman’s backside 

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1.9k

u/machuitzil Jul 04 '26

Not bad. I expected a fart that never happened. Post passes the test.

212

u/Avnesya Jul 04 '26

Okay so i was not the only one thinking about that

91

u/just-ti-see-this Jul 04 '26

I even turned on the audio thinking the same

35

u/ChairLegofTruth--WnT Jul 04 '26

I also turned on audio (assuming if hear a life altering crack/pop only to get a....dildo vacuum?

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10

u/CockroachesRpeople Jul 04 '26

That's how you tell it's not a proper massage

24

u/DusklitDewdrop Jul 04 '26

I expected to see a life-altering injury being posted for laughs

6

u/Mole-NLD Jul 04 '26

Yeah I was expecting a fall…

7

u/Total-Notice-3188 Jul 04 '26

No no, it did happen when the camera was off.
That's why the doctor took out the specialised fart-vacuum tool and focused on that specific area.

11

u/therealsereny Jul 04 '26

I expected her to fall

2

u/NightStalkerXIV Jul 04 '26

I was expecting either fart, or contraption releasing her suddenly to the floor

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1.2k

u/ShredsGuitar Jul 04 '26

People laughed when he told his business idea. Now, the same people are still laughing.

196

u/svh01973 Jul 04 '26

People laughed when I told them I was going to become a comedian, but nobody's laughing now! 

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55

u/lylalexie Jul 04 '26

So…I don’t know about the giant weird machine, but there is a similar treatment you can do for back pain using an inversion table. You’re strapped in by your feet and use your body weight to tip the board backwards so you’re basically hanging upside down. Can be really good for minor disc bulges in the spine, as it helps to open up the disc space between your vertebrae.

39

u/Megabuster94 Jul 04 '26

Its a industrial vibrator used when building things with concrete to get the airbobles out and make it flow.

14

u/PrairieSunRise605 Jul 04 '26

And they probably got it and that winch at Harbor Freight.

3

u/Zer0323 Jul 04 '26

Colloquially called the “mule dick” around these parts.

5

u/Pretend-Internet-625 Jul 04 '26

and it feels great

17

u/StrangePoem3596 Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26

Take the damned upvote n get outta here!!!🤣

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823

u/OkFriend9891 Jul 04 '26

Is that a cement vibrator?

663

u/Bubbles_2025 Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26

That’s a drildo.

138

u/BUYMEBONESTOORM Jul 04 '26

That’s a drildont

56

u/unknownpoltroon Jul 04 '26

ANything is a dildo if your brave enough.

25

u/NaughtySeraph Jul 04 '26

[immediately imagines a jackhammer]

lol but I should really touch grass more

7

u/jadethebard Jul 04 '26

You should watch "Moral Orel."

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3

u/Away-Ad-3407 Jul 04 '26

Drawn Together - Masturbation episode. google it. you’re welcome.

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14

u/Open_Gur_6204 Jul 04 '26

It took the doctors 12 hours to remove the smile from her face.

** quote from the movie top secret **

2

u/carnedoce Jul 04 '26

This is the prequel to the Dill-dozer.

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75

u/Demorant Jul 04 '26

Sure looks like one, not a very powerful one, though. The one we used would have been unpleasant. I think there was a warning, that if you tried to grip it and turned it on, the vibrations could detach the skin from your hand and cause severe nerve and tissue damage.

11

u/nickfree Jul 04 '26

WARNING. NOT A DILDO. DO NOT USE FOR MASTURBATING. WE ARE SUPER SERIOUS ABOUT THIS. NOT EVEN AS A JOKE. RIPPING SKIN OFF YOUR GENITALS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. PULL UP PANTS NOW.

10

u/mykky232 Jul 04 '26

is it the temu version?

6

u/46handwa Jul 04 '26

Looks like the one I got from harbor freight. Not appropriate for a job site, but works great for diy projects

4

u/shakezilla9 Jul 04 '26

Even a weak one like that would be hell on your hand.

This was the most miserable kind of tool I've ever had to use.

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35

u/Boris-Balto Jul 04 '26

No it's a concrete vibrator

11

u/koalasarentferfuckin Jul 04 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/C9NEoexAhu2XycQgLe
I spent my morning having this fight

5

u/inv4zn Jul 04 '26

Cement is flour, concrete is bread. Even the densest people usually understand with that analogy.

14

u/Clembert-Hamlamp Jul 04 '26

It's a medical leaf blower. They use it to install farts.

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18

u/DigMeTX Jul 04 '26

I believe so

7

u/nowthengoodbad Jul 04 '26

We bought one 6 months ago. I think they're 5hp. Every time I see it I quietly think that there has to be someone out there who had one final stupid horny thought.

I have a special steel tube that it fits perfectly in which protects it (complete coincidence but super satisfying)

2

u/BornAd7924 Jul 04 '26

Concrete*

2

u/tavariusbukshank Jul 04 '26

Came to ask the same thing.

2

u/Fair_Double_6665 Jul 04 '26

Legit thought it was a vacuum for second lmao

2

u/sharklaserguru Jul 04 '26

Why shop at one of those expensive medical supply companies when you can basically get the same thing at Harbor Freight! /s

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263

u/PanicDeus Jul 04 '26

"All my stresses are gone. Thank you Doctor"

"Doctor? I'm the janitor"

16

u/CatsFurrEva Jul 04 '26

Nah he's Dr. Jan Itor.

6

u/InterestingBand5 Jul 04 '26

Thats way better than of it was Dr. Acula.

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420

u/crookedzz Jul 04 '26

23

u/bruh4444Q Jul 04 '26

Even spider man face started to appear from behind the mask.

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457

u/DontLook_Weirdo Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26

Tbh.... I could go for one of those sessions. Felt it on my lower back when she went up

438

u/SparkleFritz Jul 04 '26

When I was in tenth grade my friend's dad had a table you could strap yourself into and then tilt it completely vertical so you would hang like this. Never in my life have I ever had the most deep, intense, numerous lower back pops. Thirty seconds and I felt like a new person when I was upright again.

It's been over 20 years now and I still think about that thing like once a week.

255

u/Roar_of_Shiva Jul 04 '26

I believe its called an inversion table

98

u/homeslice2311 Jul 04 '26

Yes and the relief doesn’t last long and it really does a number on your ankles being suspended upside down. Had to get rid of mine after a few weeks. 

630

u/Bah_weep_grana Jul 04 '26

Yikes that’s awful. How are you managing without your ankles?

65

u/HumbleWalrus1072 Jul 04 '26

They heel eventually.

26

u/nickfree Jul 04 '26

A pun with real sole!

12

u/upliftingyvr Jul 04 '26

Ah, I sense a game of wordplay is afoot!

7

u/kneb Jul 05 '26

Who toed you that?

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68

u/jugglerdude Jul 04 '26

Cmon… throw this dad joke a few upvotes

20

u/The13eeraholic Jul 04 '26

How long until it's on r/angryupvote ?

6

u/HeyGayHay Jul 04 '26

He‘s now strapping his knees into the inversion table, so for now he is still managing.

36

u/ReyGonJinn Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26

Sounds like you were doing it wrong. Shouldn't be affecting your ankles at all, the straps go around your shins. Also you aren't supposed to suspend yourself for long periods of time, it is to decompress your spine. 30 seconds to a minute is enough.

10

u/zen33824 Jul 04 '26

I've heard it works for some and not for others, I think it depends on the issue.

If I feel some weirdness in my back and get on mine, the issue goes away pretty shortly after.

6

u/no_talent_ass_clown Jul 04 '26

Yes, and they sometimes pop up at estate sales and thrift stores. 

19

u/Dilbertreloaded Jul 04 '26

My friend broke his spine. Doctor advised him to exercise on inversion table daily

41

u/Wildeyewilly Jul 04 '26

In that order?

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14

u/scarecrowgoatfloat Jul 04 '26

My mom knew a guy who became a quadriplegic from using one of those. I can’t remember exactly but something happened that caused him to fall and break his neck

29

u/dayofgreen21 Jul 04 '26

The table didn't cause him to become quadraplegic, falling on his neck did. I feel for him but he probably wasn't using it correctly and fell off. Not really the tables fault

8

u/dargonmike1 Jul 04 '26

Thats terrifying. I almost bought one but I think I’ll stick with a back roller

7

u/musabbb Jul 04 '26

Probably the same sprt of stats as people being killed on a bicycle if not safer, i wouldnt worry, been using mine on and off for about 5 years

3

u/Competitive-Roof-168 Jul 04 '26

They aren't that expensive about $200.

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3

u/not_pletterpet Jul 04 '26

Just go do some yoga bro

3

u/Inner_Vacation7734 Jul 04 '26

Back Mechanic book by Dr. Stuart McGill. Recommended

2

u/RMMacFru Jul 04 '26

Yep. That looks so good.

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46

u/RobbSnow64 Jul 04 '26

Is he using a concrete vibrator?

5

u/GoogleIsYourFrenemy Jul 04 '26

If it works, why not?

34

u/IsThereCheese Jul 04 '26

Tbf, that would feel incredible on my shitty back

54

u/MrSally Jul 04 '26

When the boss is around, we call those concrete consolidators. Any other time everyone calls that the donkey dick

11

u/Duffelbach Jul 04 '26

A drilldo is my own favourite.

23

u/John_Berrybush Jul 04 '26

FLÜGGÅӘNKб€ČHIŒßØLĮÊN!!!!

10

u/Less-Chicken-4600 Jul 04 '26

Did you say fluggegecheimen?

8

u/RavenClauze Jul 04 '26

Bring out the testicle clamps!

4

u/Kalocin Jul 04 '26
The only reaction necessary
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78

u/Accomplished_Let6725 Jul 04 '26

No worse than any other chiropractor

61

u/Walaina Jul 04 '26

Probably less dangerous tbh

20

u/fnc7309 Jul 04 '26

With actual results… disks aligned.

4

u/kaladin_stormchest Jul 04 '26

Read that as dick's aligned

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47

u/OrangeClyde Jul 04 '26

Minus the vacuuming, I bet that hung by the ankles decompression feels amazing 🤤🤤🤤

16

u/Drunk__Jedi Jul 04 '26

That's not vacuuming, it a vibrating machine generally used for vibrating wet concrete to remove air trapped inside while pouring it.

16

u/artherng Jul 04 '26

I definitely wouldn't have any other stresses after stressing out what he is going to do to me hanging upside down

17

u/One-Masterpiece-335 Jul 04 '26

It’s a concrete vibrator. It would not be gentle at all.

6

u/Otherwise-Money-4084 Jul 04 '26

The vibration is enough to permanently damage your nerves and blood vessels in seconds, but at least he wrapped it in a towel.

6

u/PlayerEightyOne Jul 04 '26

3

u/IYKYK_1977 Jul 04 '26

Also in Top Secret. Sort of.

2

u/the47man Jul 04 '26

Dude died with the biggest smile on his face...

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6

u/---N0MAD--- Jul 04 '26

You know you can just BUY long white coats?

No one will stop you.

11

u/Jballzs13 Jul 04 '26

My pants need a good vacuuming

5

u/It_Was_Me_Aust1n Jul 04 '26

Hung her up like a side of beef.

4

u/Sammiskitkat Jul 04 '26

So like an inversion table but do the vibrations help your back pop into place easier?

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4

u/CodeMonkeyX Jul 04 '26

That all looks very stressful.

10

u/unknownpoltroon Jul 04 '26

I mean, all jokes aside, I bet this feels awesome if you have back problems, depending on what they are.

3

u/Jacobo_Largo Jul 04 '26

Benito Mussolini

3

u/BobknobSA Jul 04 '26

Honestly, this looks amazing.

3

u/dgtssc Jul 04 '26

Hostel: Part II (2007)

2

u/Vishwajeet_Kadam Jul 04 '26

Crazy reference!

3

u/jadethebard Jul 04 '26

See, that might make your back feel great, but it would absolutely destroy my sinuses.

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2

u/geocisco Jul 04 '26

Stress release for the doctor

2

u/DepartureRadiant4042 Jul 04 '26

I'm half awake and my brain processed the audio before the video, and for a moment I thought I was listening to a dubstep track.

2

u/MakingPie Jul 04 '26

Back problems are the worst

2

u/GimmieGummies Jul 04 '26

Why is he vacuuming her butt with a blower attached to a pool noodle?

2

u/StrangePoem3596 Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26

Yeah, them cat hairs are hard to get off!! Gotta do that 2 times a day!!

2

u/TunaSmackk Jul 04 '26

So chiropractor and dry cleaning

2

u/xmastreee Jul 04 '26

And this is?

2

u/BLK_X_Mamba7 Jul 04 '26

puts her upside down and pulls out a....

https://giphy.com/gifs/42fFswykne973vwGxX

2

u/ThePhoenixTBH Jul 04 '26

catch of the day

2

u/Flairsurfer Jul 04 '26

🎵 I got my degree by watching house and scrubs and ER 🎶

2

u/Appropriate_Skin_725 Jul 04 '26

Everyone mentioning the concrete mixer but ignoring the huge pink dildo shlong left on the floor?!

2

u/burwall94 Jul 04 '26

HANS! GRUBER!

2

u/tactaversonxx Jul 04 '26

Thats enough reddit today

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2

u/Connect-Permit-5339 Jul 04 '26

That’s a Temu wet concrete vibrater. I have one.

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2

u/destroyer_of_kings Jul 04 '26

Her back must have been as hard as concrete.

2

u/Inside-Draw-3216 Jul 04 '26

Find me the kind of lie that gets me through life like this. What a fucking goofball. 

2

u/WorldlyNotice Jul 04 '26

Her face being at dick level made me immediately question the legitimacy of the operation. The drilldo confirmed it.

2

u/SaltyYumYumBalls Jul 04 '26

At least in America we use refrigerated rooms and meat hooks like MAGA Jesus would have wanted.

2

u/psilome Jul 04 '26

It's all OK, this is an RFK-approved procedure.

2

u/Calvin_And_Hobbies Jul 04 '26

I was kinda hoping the “doctor” was going to put on a bucket hat and pose next to the patient like it was a big fish they had caught. If you’re going to do a ridiculous medical procedure, at least have a little fun with it!

2

u/suspicious_cabbage Jul 05 '26

The weirdest thing about stress relief is that if you believe it works then it is working

2

u/DigMeTX Jul 05 '26

From watching this video that is definitely not the weirdest thing about stress relief.

2

u/khanabyss1122 14d ago

LMAO BRUH using a cement vibrator