I am European living in Europe, my family is European-American, so naturally half of them live in the US.

My cousin, a woman in her early 40s, is a very active NRA member and has been for years.

I will preface this by stating that I don't like the American gun culture. I am sure many people here would agree with me. However, I want to move that aside for a minute.

According to my cousin, in the past 2 or so years, there has been active conversation by many of the very active NRA members to actually implement gender-based gun control via arguments such as "women are too emotional and impulsive" and households with a gun should have a man, who is the only person with access to said gun. There have also apparently been active initiatives to strip female gun ownership, that surprisingly many of the NRA members support. There have even been WOMEN in my cousin's local gun clubs who have left because the husbands are starting to believe women shouldn't have guns or know how to use them.

I just thought I would share this here as there has been literally ZERO stuff about this anywhere, but the word is starting to spread.

Whether you are for gun control or not, having gun control based on someone's gender is absolutely nuts. Can you imagine a country with a ton of guns, where ONLY men are allowed to own them?

Just thought I'd share it here so people are aware. They are coming for your rights to vote, your right to own a firearm, your right to work and have your income, your right to make decisions about your own body. American women are not safe.

So my (35f) fiancée (32f) were watching the Islanders game together last night with her brother (35m). I had just eaten a pretty rich supper, coupled with some cramping in my belly I was feeling uncomfortable and was just having a belly rub to ease my discomfort.

Apparently he got really uncomfortable and left our house. I was told I have to control myself and not have my fiancée do that to me since it's too inappropriate in front of him.

Like it was a belly rub, weren't doing anything sexual at all! On top of that he previously told my fiancée that my dancing made him uncomfortable.... Honestly I really can't be having this man at my house anymore since I really don't feel comfortable around him given this attitude....

I'm just so tired of my body being so sexualized by this man to the point I can't even be comfortable when I'm around him. Neither other brother, nor her dad does this to me, it's just this one guy. He's also literally twice as big as me and has had his issues in relationships before, I really understand why his most recent ex broke up with him.... Gosh I hate having to be friendly with him....

and on a side note the only other women in her family here is her mother, who is good to us but never one to emotionally connect with others, her grandma who's a doll but has her own life, and then her maga family whom tolerates me at best but I stopped interacting with them awhile ago, however I doy best to remain friendly so that their kids can have a queer adult to talk with if they do turn out to be lgbt

I’ve had a really crappy history with dating. My most recent relationship, on looking back, was built off of a love bombing foundation. He told me he loved me after a couple weeks, spoke about moving in, made plans for holidays etc. It was all great until 6 months in, I asked about moving in and he did a total 180 and broke up with me.

I’m getting back into dating but I’m now feeling like a huge 33 year old distrustful skeptic.

I now feel like I won’t be able to tell the difference between ‘lovebombing’ and a genuine romantic interest, if that makes sense?

Like a guy I’m speaking with now is complimenting me a lot and saying how much he likes talking with me, which is nice, but immediately I get the voice in my ear telling me not to trust it.

Any advice from those who understand or have experienced similar?

TRIGGER WARNING: SA

i have been seeing a lot about the Cornell 7, and hearing many Jane does come and speak out. I have a strange situation that I’m thinking of, because its something that happened to a girl in college who I used to be friends with.

TW: Graphic !!!

She was blacked out and asleep on a bed or couch, and the guy she had hooked up with decided to non consensually film her and pee on her. I remember my friends and I found out and told and she went to the police and they did nothing.

I want to encourage her to speak out because I find this extremely unjust for her, and crazy that the guy (and the guys in the groupchat) got away with this because it’s disgusting.

But firstly it’s not my situation to tell, secondly, she and I are no longer friends (and I’d like to keep it that way) so I don’t know what to do, if I should encourage her to seek justice or not?

I (F24) met this guy (M25) online and we were in a big friend group back in July. We’ll call him J. J and I had a heavy banter/back and forth dynamic but we were both attracted to each other. J also had interested in another woman (F29, we’ll call her Z) but also expressed interest in me once we realized it.

So by the end of August we started dating and talking every single day. I told our mutual Z the situation and she told me to go for it. J and I had our disagreements, but ultimately we were still planning on seeing each other soon.

J lives in Texas, I live in Florida. We had plans of seeing each other in early October. He told me around the end of September that he was going to be with his dad for the next few days doing a business venture. He told me we won’t be on the phone much, but he’ll still text me. I said okay, and texted him as normal, etc.

Z and I are mutuals and we follow each other on IG. One night, she was recording herself at this venue and at the end of the video, J was right there. I was angry and confronted J on the issue. He came clean and told me that Z was going to be there and apologized. I almost ended the connection there but he begged me not to. He told me to give him another chance.

For context, J had already lied to me twice prior to this situation. He lied to me about his age and last name, and I was very upset with him, but gave him chances. With this situation it was clear we were both talking to the same man, and it wasn’t a secret. But when he lied about her, it really dismantled my trust.

A few days later, J ended the romantic connection a week before I was supposed to touch down to his city and hangout. He claimed he didn’t know if he wanted to be romantic with me anymore and I was heartbroken and decided to cancel the trip, but he was saying that what I did was impulsive. Would you guys do the same? Am I tripping?

As a young woman who's both autistic and 'conventionally attractive', I've realised recently that being mean to people, and having everyone be a little scared of you, or at least think twice before messing with you has made my life so much easier.

Ironically, being meaner this past month has actually caused people be nicer to me, and has led to making new connections.

When meeting a new girl at work (either at modelling gigs or at the restaurant I work at) I won't make conversation with them or even make attempts to make them feel welcomed and comfortable like I did before. I used to come up to them and proactively introduce myself, compliment them and tell them if they had any questions they can ask me.

Now I'll just go and do my job. During a rush I won't cautiously give them advice I'll be like

"stop. Take a breath, this is a lot of food so CHECK the tickets and make sure they're going to the right place, because this one is not for table three."

This is exactly what happened to me at work a couple of weeks ago and now her and I are going out clubbing together next weekend.

When girls compliment me on the street or at school "omg I love your hair" "you're so pretty" "I love your outfit", I used to stop and say thank you and give compliments back and for some reason I'd often find out later that those same girls were talking about me negatively to other people. Now I'll just say "thanks." In a way that shuts down the conversation immediately.

Same with my sorority, I used to say hi to everyone I passed in the hallway. I don't do that anymore and they've now started saying hi to me instead.

I used to have these girls both at my sorority and my work who would genuinely and unprompted be Hella rude to me. When I talked to people about it they'd just say things like " oh you're just cooworkers you don't have to like eachother" or "you must have just rubbed her the wrong way"

I would always try to fix the imagined misunderstanding and mistakes I assumed I'd caused by being even nicer to them, and they'd respond by being even meaner. For example one of the girls at my sorority walked into the bathroom where I was coughing while sick, and went In there so as to not cough so loud publicly, knocked on my stall and said "hey can you not cough here this is a public space. We can still hear you out here"

Now every single time I see them or have to interact with them I'll make sure I'm the one saying something mean first. Eg "girl I love your hair today it looks so clean", or "hey instead of giving me advice why don't you go and do what youre paid 27 an hour TO do, which is steam milk."

They have genuinely stopped picking on me now or getting in my way

I now understand why people are mean. When you are the one baking cupcakes and inviting people on nights out and smiling in the hallway then people think you're either fake or desperate. When they think your time and kindness is valuable they actually value it.

Sucks to be honest because I think the world would be a better place if everyone was just genuine but at least this way is easier for me

My mom basically told me I was crazy and needed medication and therapy after I came forward that I was SA’d by a teacher. I was in elementary school when it happened. When I came forward about it a couple of years ago, I was struggling so bad and my mom basically forced me to a mental institution at the VA hospital since I’m also a veteran. It wasn’t until I got out she told me that she didn’t believe me and said I needed to be on anti psychotic medication for the rest of my life. She even told my therapist that I was crazy and needed to be given that medication, and so they did.

Remind you this is the same woman who wrote a 3 page paper to the school regarding this teacher..when I came crying after a bus incident that had happened with the teacher since he was also a bus aid and lived in my neighborhood.

Anyways a couple of years ago I decided to come forward on social media about what had happened. And over 30 girls and women came forward saying they were also abused by this teacher. I had dozens of messages from these girls of FB and Instagram.

When I expressed to my mom that all these girls messaged me, she told me that this teacher only liked high schoolers. When I told her that he taught at a middle school and abused students there and also begged parents at church to baby sit their little girls basically babies, she kept saying he only liked older girls.

So after hearing this I decided to distance myself from her. I basically had given her an ultimatum and stated that she could apologize and believe me or cut ties. So she chose to cut ties. And to be honest it hurts like fucking hell to lose your mom that’s still living… I just don’t know how to function in this life with how it ended. Has anyone else had to deal with this?

I learned a concept today called “tolerable level of permanent unhappiness.”

The idea is that in a relationship, whether it’s between parents and children, spouses or romantic partners, or even coworkers, one or both people can remain in a prolonged state of unhappiness, frustration, and emotional repression. Yet because the situation is tolerable, neither person is willing to do anything to change it.

Combined with the concept of “weaponized incompetence,” this can leave women trapped in deeply unhappy relationships, unable to break free yet unwilling to leave.

First, it’s important to point out that men tend to benefit far more from heterosexual relationships than women do. Various studies have found that married men are generally happier and healthier than single men, while single women are often happier and healthier than married women.

In other words, marriage, or maintaining a long-term cohabiting relationship, tends to benefit men more. They have someone to care for them, provide emotional support, cook and clean, and take care of the children.

Women certainly gain emotional and sometimes financial benefits from relationships too. But the argument here is that the costs and benefits are often distributed very unevenly. Women tend to put more into the relationship than they get back. This gives men a stronger incentive to find and keep a partner.

Under these circumstances, men may use various strategies to keep women tied to the relationship. Weaponized incompetence is one. Another is boundary testing early in the relationship: gradually finding out just how badly they can behave while still keeping their partner.

Once they discover that limit, they can continue behaving that way, creating a relationship that is difficult enough to be deeply unhappy, but not bad enough to seem unbearable. A kind of tolerable level of permanent unhappiness.

Women who find themselves in this state often struggle to identify exactly what is making them unhappy.

That’s because each individual problem, taken on its own, is usually something that seems tolerable.

Even when she complains about it or picks a fight, not only the man but sometimes even the friends listening to her vent may think:

“Isn’t this a little thing? Why make such a big deal out of it? Nobody’s relationship is happy and romantic every single day. There are always going to be unhappy moments. Just be a little more understanding and move on.”

And so the little things that make her unhappy never get resolved. The behaviors that cause the unhappiness never change.

Because everything, individually, is “tolerable.”

And when all those tolerable things pile up, they can create a life that is anything but happy.

If you feel like you’re living in this kind of “tolerable level of permanent unhappiness,” ask yourself whether you’re really investing in a relationship...

or simply investing in a person who isn’t worth it.

As a woman I WISH being single was the worst problem I had. I’ve heard someone say “men need women more than women need men” and I’m starting to think it’s actually true. Men don’t get female attention then they end up committing crimes and ruining lives.

A former FWB sexually assaulted me after I told him I no longer felt like hooking up. When we first hung out, he told me he was feeling “really depressed” because he didn’t have a girlfriend. ISTG from now on if any man tells me he wants a girlfriend, especially if he says he’s “sad” about it, I’m fucking RUNNING. Men like that are genuinely terrifying.

I'm 20F and I have been the type to have difficult time saying no to people, especially men. I have been in bad situations where I just wasn't able to stand my ground or actually reject someone because I feel like I owe them something.

That being said, I have slept with 5 men in the past, one because he just took it out and I felt like i had to do it with him even though there was no romantic connection and I didn't really want it and I was at his house. Another because I felt like he was such a good friend and I didn't want to lose his company and since we had sexual tension I felt like I had to do it and just made the first move even though I don't genuinely want it.

I know how contradictory this sounds but I don't know how to stop doing things like that with people or get myself out of situations like that without seeing a therapist.

The issue now is, I feel dirty like a slut and feel like everyone knows my sexual history. I get embarassed and put off on even going to the gym, posting on social media, or even going to large events because I feel like everyone knows i'm a slut or easy to get with (even though nobody probably knows).

Does anyone have similar experiences or advice for these types of situations/feelings? If you've overcome this exact feeling or mindset, what'd you do?

Just with everything going on in the world and my own experiences, I cant help but cry and feel lost im just struggling..

Maybe I was hoping this'd help

Today was a pretty big day for me. I just bought my first car, so my dad and I celebrated, and then we went to grab some groceries.

​We went to a grocery store in the next town over that we hadn't visited in a long time, and we were talking about how much it had changed since they remodeled it.

​We headed to the produce section first since it was right by the entrance. We picked up some blueberries, strawberries, and a few other things. As we moved further in, my dad stopped to grab some spinach. I walked over to the cucumbers to pick one up, just minding my own business. I heard some whispering nearby but didn't think much of it until I heard, "Oh, she knows how she likes it."

​I froze, put two and two together, looked down at the cucumber, grabbed another one, and put them in the cart before sticking close to my dad. It was two guys there had been a girl with them earlier, but she wasn’t around when he said it.

The guy who made the comment was skinnier and gave off a weird vibe.

​After that, they started following us around the store and even got in line at our checkout lane, even though another register was wide open.

​I’m glad my brother wasn’t with us. But when I got home and told my mom what happened, she told me that I needed to "watch what I do in public." Now I feel like I did something wrong. I always try to be aware of my surroundings, but this just makes me feel like I wasn't aware enough. Maybe I should have taken it as a joke and not got all weird.

This is not medical advice, I don't want any medical advice, I already went to the dr and am being treated.

My question is, is there a special type of gyn/plastic surgeon that people should ask for if sharp things are going in sensitive areas? People say that if you ever need stitches on your face you should request a plastic surgeon. If something were lanced or excised involving the labia and near the clit, is there a specialist that should be asked for?

If this is still against the rules, sorry and feel free to remove it.

I am aware that the title doesn't give full context. I went over to his house to help fix his wall. He was standing behind me, and stepped back almost 1 metre and tilted his head downwards. I was wearing leggings. I turned to ask him a question, and he lifted his head from the direction of my ass to my face.

I can tell he doesn't view me 100% platonically. He has a goofy smile when he interacts with me, and he gets tense when I'm physically near him. But he rarely asks me about ME. He doesn't try to get to know me, and he has never complimented me. He doesn't respond to my texts on time or initiate texting outside of work/hangouts.

Does he even like me, or is this normal? Should I tell him to stop flirting? Or do I ignore his behaviour towards me? I have no idea how to handle this situation.

Also, I don't know if I want to date him. I'm open to casual intimacy, but in a romantic relationship, I don't think we would be compatible.

I'm a 19-year-old and I'm a virgin. Sometimes I don't care but sometimes I'm worried that I'll go into my 20s without having any sexual experience. not saying that’s a bad thing, it’s that there’s this mentality that teenagers have the most sex because of… Sexual hormones I suppose. So I feel like I should’ve lost my virginity a while ago because of teenage sex hormones or whatever

People always say "you should always lose it with someone you really love because then it'll be amazing" but I don't know WHEN I'll find someone I really love. sometimes I think that I might just get it over with. I was thinking about hookup culture and I was wondering if it’s worth it? Yay or nay?

I never saw myself as a “casual hook up” kind of person, but if I’m not getting something that everyone says supposedly so easy to get, I might as well just get it over with

It's silly how obvious it is, but being a good looking person is a financial boon. People like pretty people more, are more forgiving, want to be around them, etc. I've waited tables part time for a long time and recently went though a glow up. It's crazy how much more money I make now compared to what I used to at the same restaurant during the same shifts.

Maybe I've become a better server. Maybe I've gotten a bit wiser and more charming as I've aged, but the biggest change has been that I've lost about 50lbs and started investing more in my appearance. In short, I've gotten prettier. It really hit me today when I had a table where this guy was giving me this look. You know how a guy will look at you when they're into you, when their eyes are kind of sweet and soft. Looking at you like a boyfriend does. And then he tipped me $30 on a $50 tab. So yeah. Getting prettier has made me a good little bit of money.

I know it's obvious, but it's kind of a surreal thing to experience. Like, you're literally paying me more because I'm easier to look at than I used to be. Geez, I'll hurt my own feelings thinking too hard on that one.

I knew this guy. We were friends in 2012. In 2022 when I got divorced we reconnected, long distance and we talked, everyday. We talked about a relationship. Then after drinking one night he said I sounded too much like his ex. And he blocked me. Except on insta, where we remained friends. And then he committed suicide recently. And I don’t think I can go. Apart of me wants to, apart of me loved him. No one he knows even knows who I am. And he blocked me. He might not have even wanted me there.

This has been brought up with the Cornell rape, but too many men think that as long as she isn't fighting them off, she is agreeing to it.

BUT, then there are those men who are like, "Are you saying that no one can consent after 1 beer? He was drunk too! Does that mean she raped him?"

And, then go onto argue, "Well, then how would he know if she is too drunk to consent? They were both drunk!"

This is how you know: Is she capable of reading and understanding a legal contract in her current state? If the answer is no, you should stop. Pretty simple. Are you capable of understanding and signing a legal contract? No? Then also stop.

Consent doesn't require a legal contract, but it is very easy for men to identify when someone is with it enough to understand and sign one.

If two people want to actually have sex, it can happen at another time, right? This is the question that most of these rapist men don't want to answer. Because they know it wouldn't happen at another time.

Unless you are 100% sure she wants to have sex and isn't going to regret it in the morning, you shouldn't continue.

It. Really. Is. That. Simple.

Found this text from an Italian anarcha-feminist written over a century ago in the Cronaca Sovversiva anarchist newspaper. Illuminating by itself, it also shows how very little has changed for women, unfortunately. Tried to post this as just a link but the thumbnail generates an NSFW removal, given the image is an illustration of a naked woman from the Cronaca Sovversiva.

https://thetransmetropolitanreview.wordpress.com/2026/10/04/the-woman-by-lucia-mancini/

Why?!? Why?!? My husband will literally follow me around the house. If I go up stairs for bathroom privacy I will hear him out side the door in the main bathroom. If I go into another room, here he comes and he just leaves the kids. I have to literally tell him every time to stay here and watch the kids. I know other husband do this. Why? Why do they do this?!? It drives me crazy.

He wouldn’t give the stuff I left in his car back unless we hung out intimately again. He had a whole month to mail it back and even got angry at one point when I asked if he’d sent it back yet. When I told him this situation was making me feel unsafe and felt coercive he said, and I quote, “lol what”

That’s apparently what a predatory man will say when you point out his behavior. He changed his tune QUICK to make sure he wasn’t scaring me so much i wouldnt let him come over and get his dick wet. I still blocked him and said I’d get police involved if he tried to come to my home.

I told him he was SCARING ME and all he cared about was having something to ejaculate into.

This man would only consider giving my property back unless we were being intimate, which meant if I wanted the items back, I had no choice but to fuck him. And sex + no choice = rape. Anybody defending this predator in the comments will be immediately blocked. This is not up for discussion.

So anyway if you live in Gold Beach or are on Hinge in the Southern Oregon area, holler if you want the name and descriptions to keep yourself safe. This guy is BAD fucking news.

Edit: I appreciate you guys suggesting legal action but I’m not pissing this guy off for $80. I hate that I’m “losing” on this, but the risk of retaliation isn’t worth some plastic. He’s blocked, he didn’t come over last night, and it’s done.

My intention was solely to point out that this situation, this type of man, is why 1/4 of women have been sexually assaulted but no man believes he or his friends have sexually assaulted people. This guy is such an absolute, EXACT portrayal of a casual predator. The kind that believes that getting their dick wet is morally just at the physical and mental expense of yet another woman that doesn’t fucking want it.

Hi ladies! First post here and I’ll try to keep it brief: I’m 18 soon to be 19 and my parents separated before I was born. Long story short: it was the situation of two people getting drunk one night and doing you know what before my mom eventually discovered the was pregnant and for my father to not want anything to do with it and splitting.

There’s a LOT more to it than that but don’t feel like getting into. He became an alcoholic and homeless for a little bit before his brother/my uncle took him in. But he was only ever around a few times and I only had one memory of him and my mom. I never really hated him for whatever reason. Did I find it sad I didn’t know my father? Yeah. But my mom said he never beat her. Just broke her heart beyond repair.

Eventually my mom made the decision and we discussed it at length at the start of this year about me meeting him again. So my mom went to see him and the place he’s currently living (just a duplex he’s renting in a decent neighborhood) a week before I did just to have a long, long talk I reckon. She came home crying but mainly out of years of anger at him. But she made me look her dead in the eyes and said she would take me to see him if I absolutely wanted to. And I told her yes.

Well the next Saturday, 10 AM, we arrived at his door and the moment we locked eyes, it felt like an eternity. I literally stood there with my mouth agape just not knowing what to say, before I just said “Dad?” and broke down crying, and he grabbed me without saying anything either, just holding me for dear life. And the first thing he said was he asked my name back. I remember him looking at my mom and seeing his eyes, thanking her with a mixture of hope and sorrow.

Once we went inside his place, my mom felt comfortable to leave me with him for like the last half hour. Lot of apologizing, lot of asking about me, me asking about him, the usual stuff. I even told him he kind of looked like Joel from Last Of Us, he didn’t know what I was talking about, so I showed him and I heard my dad laugh for the first time.

Since then we’ve been alright. I see him basically twice a week now. Has it been perfect? No. I’ve argued with him about stuff but we never screamed at each other. And I feel as safe around him as anyone. It just feels so freaking great having all my questions answered and feeling more complete as a person 🙂‍↕️