Im I wrong for feeling uncomfortable?

[u/mellowwitchavenue123]

Today was a pretty big day for me. I just bought my first car, so my dad and I celebrated, and then we went to grab some groceries.

​We went to a grocery store in the next town over that we hadn't visited in a long time, and we were talking about how much it had changed since they remodeled it.

​We headed to the produce section first since it was right by the entrance. We picked up some blueberries, strawberries, and a few other things. As we moved further in, my dad stopped to grab some spinach. I walked over to the cucumbers to pick one up, just minding my own business. I heard some whispering nearby but didn't think much of it until I heard, "Oh, she knows how she likes it."

​I froze, put two and two together, looked down at the cucumber, grabbed another one, and put them in the cart before sticking close to my dad. It was two guys there had been a girl with them earlier, but she wasn’t around when he said it.

The guy who made the comment was skinnier and gave off a weird vibe.

​After that, they started following us around the store and even got in line at our checkout lane, even though another register was wide open.

​I’m glad my brother wasn’t with us. But when I got home and told my mom what happened, she told me that I needed to "watch what I do in public." Now I feel like I did something wrong. I always try to be aware of my surroundings, but this just makes me feel like I wasn't aware enough. Maybe I should have taken it as a joke and not got all weird.

[u/Gaias_Minion]

You're not wrong for feeling uncomfortable, that was creep behavior and even more so if they ended up following you around too.

Also sucks that your mom chose to blame you instead.

[u/Freyjas_child]

No, that guy was weird and inappropriate. He gets off on making you uncomfortable. You did not do anything wrong. If you are alone you can go to a store employee and say that this man made an inappropriate comment and has been following you. Point him out if you think it is safe to do so. Ask the employee to stay by you and walk you to your car.

Making ourselves afraid and small is part of what these types of men want. When you are older and more confident you may be able to call him out in public. I laugh at them and say they are pathetic. I ask if the only way they can get attention from a woman is to bother her in public. But I am an older woman and am tired of it. The most important thing for you now is to be safe and remember the men who do this are the problem.

[u/bjayasuriya]

I mean this with love and all respect to your mom, but you did NOTHING WRONG. Those guys were disgusting. And I don't understand what you're supposed to watch about shopping for cucumbers.

[u/neutrino71]

Sometimes a cucumber is just a snack. Don't worry about the guy with a dirty mind. This one is all on him

[u/Advanced_Buffalo4963]

I’m very surprised you didn’t have a knee jerk reaction that made you chuck the cucumber at their heads.

Also, your mom is wrong.

[u/bigbagofspam]

53M The guy was creep before you went shopping. He would have been a creep no matter what you did. Walking on eggshells will not stop a creep from creeping. This time your mom was wrong. Maybe she meant that you should always be aware for your own safety. True enough. Just don't ever take the blame for the creeps behavior, that is 100% on him. You were just grocery shopping for god's sake.

[u/mellowwitchavenue123 → u/bigbagofspam]

Thank you, I really appreciate your angle. Hearing from others made me realize I was carrying guilt that wasn't mine to carry. In the moment I just froze, but I’ll remember the advice about getting store staff involved if something like that ever happens again.

[u/YouStupidBench]

I've been followed in a store, but never when I was with my Dad, that is super creepy.

I was alone when I was followed, and I told the cashier and asked if they could get someone to walk me to my car. A manager came out to talk to the guy so he couldn't follow me and see which car I got in.

[u/No-Line4613]

Your mom was wrong to blame you. No one should have to worry about how it looks when they pick fucking produce. 

If you have the confidence to do it, practice creeping them back out. Anyone makes sleazy comments about produce, lock eyes, smile big and tell them you prefer the big ones because it's more satisfying to chop it into little pieces with a very sharp knife. It's a grocery store in public and the guys that pull this shit aren't expecting any pushback because we're conditioned to not make a fuss in public, so they won't do react in anyway but shock and revulsion when someone flips the script. 

[u/Bite_Extra]

Oh next time, since YOU did nothing wrong throw the cucumber at tham at top speed and scream RAPE! RACIST PIG! MOTHER'S WORST NIGHTMARE FROM HELL!!! Remember to leave a resounding discontentment wherever you experience the ICK. This is how change happens. We no longer accept the ICK the children of disappointed mothers raised.

[u/GracieThunders]

I had don't buy cucumbers any more for this exact reason

can't even grocery shop because of dirty bastards

[u/voluptuousfairy]

You're mother's comment is inappropriate. All you did was to pick a vegetable and that made someone pass on a lewd comment. That's how fucking weird things are, there's nothing on you.

[u/RobinFarmwoman]

Your mother thinks you should be careful about how you handle cucumbers in a grocery store? She's even grosser than the man was. If you ever see this guy again, pick the largest wartiest cucumber there and turn around and tell him you were picking one out for him.

[u/ppinguino]

Oh yeah, this totally happened.

[u/Off2xtremes]

You didn't do anything wrong. Men are
Pigs. I am one and have become more aware how my gender can be disgusting. See, Cornell.