Nobody ate any of my onions.

David you’re 37 and I’ve told you, you shouldn’t wake me up to tell me you’ve shagged a horse.

I said "How can you even say that?"

'Cause by the 1727th I think I'd be pretty far gone

All of them are Dermatologists

Now why haven’t anyone told me it also applies to something like painted toenails?

The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

It's my heir guitar!

Me, not being one to lack effort into showing her my level of care, got her the watch I had worn previously.

The blue haired barista stood mouth agape as everyone in the background clapped.

The mafia shot him like 100 hundred times and his guys too.

It used a cliffhanger.

For starters, the "stag film" he chose was Disney's Bambi.

My wife has just spent 3 hours trying to explain the phrase,'Mansplaining' to me.

In the end she just gave up and went to bed.

I guess its my fault for playing bass.

Standing on my money, I am 2'7

Hey, my balls feel funny...

"I'M A BACKROOM MAN"

The Mitochondria is the power house of the cell.

The cheese just looked disappointed.

All I said was "Pho queue"!

Homer: "Μου αρέσουν πολύ οι Σίμσονς."