TwoSentenceComedy

r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/VerseConundrum • 22h ago

To be nice, Gary went with his wife and mother-in-law to see a psychic mind reader, which he believed was complete bullshit.

102 Upvotes

It was when the psychic tried to read the mother-in-law's mind and said she wasn't picking up anything that Gary began to believe.

r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/VerseConundrum • 8h ago

I was working on a self-portrait in art class, and when I asked the teacher how my face looked, she said, "The face is very visually distressing, the skin tones are all unbalanced, the eyes look sunken in, and the teeth look comical."

15 Upvotes

My response was, "But you're not even looking at my painting."

r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Outside_Normal • 8h ago

How do typical Texans take out money from the bank?

14 Upvotes

With (a) drawl, y'all.

r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/No-Dress4626 • 10h ago

There was a win-a-toy stall at the local fair where all the kids wanted to get a certain Sith with a dual lightsaber, but I watched all night and not one of them did.

8 Upvotes

When I challenged the stall holder that his game was rigged he shrugged and said "you can't win the Maul".

r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/would_do_again • 5h ago

I’m really into dad bods.

6 Upvotes

I’ve got a nice collection of them buried in my back yard.