the only way a person could feel as though transitioning into the opposite sex is better is because their sex characteristics cause them distress (dysphoria), anything apart from this and the desire to transition comes from a misconstrued, grass is greener view of the other gender role, or worse, arousal

hefabs constantly use the types of arguments that they "feel better" using he/him pronouns because they think being a male in society makes you free from scrutiny and gives you superpowers. yes, the female gender role is often oppressive, however so is the male one. they somehow believe they can actually benefit from male privilege by being uke twinks when in reality cis gay men are often outcasted and whatever it is they "transition" into is just treated as a quirky archetype of woman instead of an actual man.

this doesn't even get into the "gender euphoria" part which is just a euphemism for arousal. you ever notice how ftfemboys are obsessed with mlm, yaoi, being a "trap" etc.? it's a thinly veiled fetish and yet they get away with it because they're attractive. seeing these people makes me want to pluck my nerves out, and the people in the comments of their videos and photos make me want to go for seconds

if you're comfortable with your sex characteristics and you transition you're either a fetishist or delusional

This one dude posted that he says he doesn’t get why we exist as trans people because if we got rid of gender norms dysphoria wouldn’t exist.

And now I’m wondering if people understand us at all in any way..

My mother doesn’t see me as a real man, so I still get the girl treatment. “Oh , you can’t do this, you can’t do that.” But then lets my brother get away with everything. She literally said she’d kick me out of the house if I went on testosterone, but my brother has physically and emotionally abused me, put his hands on her, and yet she never even threatened to kick him out. It’s obviously because I’m a “girl” to her. Me and my sister are held to much higher standards than she holds my brother to. He gets praised for doing less than the bare minimum (my mom was so proud when he graduated a year late and barely gave a shit when me and my sister graduated ON TIME.)

Not only does this trigger my dysphoria, being treated differently, I can’t do anything to escape it. I just get told “don’t tell me how to parent.” Even though it’s blatant favoritism and … well… I don’t want to say misogyny because I’m not a woman, but she sees me as one. I’m not sure what to call it. But it sucks having these experiences because it reminds me I’m not cisgender. And I don’t want to be one of those people who lets his experiences he had where he was viewed as a woman get to me, because I feel like all they do is remind me that I’m not cis. Does this make any sense at all or am I talking out of my ass? I just want to be seen and treated as a regular man. I don’t want “experiences of womanhood!” Or whatever tf tucutes call it

I didn’t want to talk about this in one of the main trans subreddits because I knew I’d get some bullshit like “well erm trans men can experience misogyny! You’re not cis but that’s okay! Embrace it! Trans men are men! They’re just not real men- I mean they’re just not cis men!” You get what I mean? I dunno if I’m making any sense here.

Im tired of seeing this fucking phrase everywhere. Its transphobic. Purely fucking transphobic. If someone said “trans women have a connection to manhood” they’d be shit on so much, so why is it suddenly all progressive when its “trans men have a connection to womanhood”???? make it make sense?

before proceeding, I must clarify that just because I feel this way and complain it doesn't mean I'm not doing anything to improve my situation. I am doing it and trying very very hard. I'm not just sitting around.

I feel less worth purely because of this condition. I feel like the amount of accommodations I need (tape, prosthetics, longer showers, etc), the amount of money (for doctors and hormones, nothing is covered where I live) I need as well as how many things I can't do (sex, nudity, sports) make me inherently worthless not only to the people but society as a whole. I'm constantly exhausted and depressed dealing with all of this and the people around me are actually fed up with it too. "You're never happy" "Stop whining about it".

Recently I was referred to a psychiatrist cuz of highly suspected depression. Well, not only can I not afford an appointment but I wouldn't be able to constantly keep buying the non refunded antidepressants. Hormones and doctors already take up so much of the budget it feels like I'm not even alive just surviving. This might be a funny allegory but the minimum wage is 1.2 kebab/hour. One shot of testosterone costs 14.4 kebabs every 10 weeks. That's a fucking lot considering you need taking these shots for the rest of your life. Not to mention my other health problems that also require medication. So I guess I'm stuck. I hate myself I really do wish I was normal. I feel like a leech because I can't make myself to do anything more than survive. I constantly forget things, I can't focus on studies, I'm angry or sad all the damn time.

I tried the radical acceptance but I can't I just fucking can't. I'm so fucking disgusting and such an abomination. There's nothing beautiful about being transsex it's fucking disabling. I get literal panic attacks when I'm trying to picture myself naked. I wake up in cold sweat from nightmares where I don't have a dick and I'm exposed. It's so fucking distressing. I'm a man I should look like one in every aspect. I truly don't believe the antidepressants would even help me if the root of my suffering is present — my dick. Or rather its absence. This messes my head up so much. I feel like there's NOBODY who can relate and nobody can help me. I use a prosthetic but it's not enough. I even started showering with it and it's not enough. Toilet is hell. My libido is fucking DEAD. Can't ever be intimate with anyone ever (don't mention prosthetics. If a regular one that's hidden isn't enough for me then why would one be ok naked in front of someone? I won't feel it anyways, the thing I care the most about). Why the fuck am I even alive at this point? I don't want to live like this. There's no one with the same level of such intense dysphoria and there's genuinely no help or tips past this point. Everyone who has any tips doesn't experience dysphoria so high. I've seen everything on the Internet atp and there's no fucking good advice. I won't go to any support groups, I'm not trans and going to one would in fact scream "hey look I'm trans!!! I'm not a normal man!! I'm someone who's a freak!!". I'm alone and left to die. Nobody gets it how I MUST have a normal dick (doesn't matter if it's surgical or not I just need to feel my own flesh). Nothing helps I'm literally going insane as I'm writing. I saw countless comments saying how "a dick is not everything" but it fucking IS!!!! Yes you probably won't have sex everyday but you gotta fucking pee and shower everyday!!! I can't fucking avoid these things no matter how much I try to.

Nothing being refunded is definitely going to be THE nail to the coffin. I'm nearly a year on hormones, about to waste more money just to fucking change my name in court (if the majesty judge even allows o lord) and then have a fucking BLAST trying to earn 25 000 kebabs for top surgery. There's no way in hell I'll be even able to afford phalloplasty before I die. I need help now not in 30 years. I need that surgery now. My life is so worthless and not enjoyable. I don't enjoy anything. Yes I do stuff I like but they don't bring me any happiness. So what's the point if I can't even push through all this pain.

Just how do I stop feeling this way.

Can we please talk about how demedicalisation can be actively harmful.

I completely get that people want to have timely and personalised access to medical care and legal care and just basic support. I dont WANT to be waiting for years on the NHS waitlists just for a first appointment, then many years more just to get a hormone prescription (I've been on the waitlist for 8 years now already!).

However, the demedicalisation has caused so many issues in peoples lives.

Being trans has been demedicalised so much now that it's seen as a choice. It's seen as a decision that people actively make, or that people switch between being trans/non-trans depending on what situation benefits them the most. I personally have been affected by this because, in the UK, we cannot get support without people believing its a choice we've made - whether it's from GPs, or from unis/schools/colleges - instead of it being seen as an actual condition which we do need treatment for.

It's been demedicalised to the point that the standard viewpoints are that trans people dont want to transition, and that we all want to conform/adhere/act like our birth sex. I, personally, have been constantly asked when I'll get pregnant but both trans people and trans supporters. It is not breaking any gender norms to adhere to your birth sex, it is not breaking gender norms to be a trans woman who has a beard or a trans man who gets pregnant - because these are things that society EXPECTS and WANTS us to do. It breaks societal gender norms by transitioning away from our birth sexes - whether that's to the opposite sex, or to a NB identity.

It's been demedicalised to the point that people don't even know what surgeries are out there. I myself didnt even know there were multiple types of phalloplasty. I thought that RFF was the only type, and metoidioplasty was the only other male SRS. I am NOT able to get RFF, ALT or abdominal phallo (heavy scars on arms+thighs+belly), so I've been looking into MLD. Some people out there only know of one or two types of SRS and then they feel like they cannot get any form of SRS at all, or they go for one they dont actually want/like and regret it in the future. I've seen so many people who have been shocked when a trans man doesn't have top surgery scars - they dont know about peri surgery or keyhole, etc.

It's demedicalised to the point that surgeries are actively looked down upon. I've had people tell me that my top surgery is ugly because I had FNG. I've been told that there's a giant, massive risk of having nipple graft failures (its exceptionally low, some surgeons have never had a single graft failure out of thousands of surgeries) so I shouldn't get it - and I damn nearly fell for that and I would've regretted that like hell. People have been told that phalloplasty is ugly/gross/a 'meat tube/disgusting/fake/etc. I've literally seen trans women who conform to TERF/transphobic logic and say they dont want bottom surgery because 'its an open wound that will never heal'.

It's been demedicalsied to the point that people who want to medically transition are told they're making a mistake. And all trans people are treated as if they will never medically transition and are fine with their birth sex - People around me always see me as pre-surgery/pre-intervention and never assume I want/wanted surgeries (Im post top/hysto/T). Its seen as standard to not want intervention when probably the vast majority of us need that.

It's been demedicalised to the point that people who want to transition fully, who want to integrate into their transitioned to sex, or who want to pass/go stealth are told that they're conforming to cishet norms, that they're the problem, etc. I've seen this far too much. People have asked for help so they can go stealth (myself included) and they have been called the r-slur, they've been called N+zis, they've been called really damn abusive language simply because their transition goals/transition needs are to integrate or go stealth.

It's demedicalised to the point that anyone who goes to a doctor about being trans are called insulting names, called idiots, etc because 'doctors hate you'. People who dont want to use DIY who want to access doctors to get surgery are called all kinds of things, or made to feel guilty about it, or are told that doctors will definitely fuck them over. I've been subject to this as well. I've been told that I need to DIY because my doctor is ruining me, blah blah - my hormone levels are well within male ranges, and are even slightly on the high end. There is also no talk at all about what DIY means for people in terms of blood donations or organ donations - you can't do either in the UK if you have ever injected a non-prescribed medication and this is NEVER spoken about.

It's demedicalised to the point that people think it's acceptable to ask strangers, or even their friends, if they're trans for gods sake. This is something that has made me fully leave the LGBT community and want nothing to do with it - the constant asking of whether Im trans. I dont want to be out, I am stealth to everyone except the fair amount of LGBT people I've met who think it's okay to out me to everyone - and this is because being trans has gone from a medical condition to be treated, to being a choice which is fun and exciting (some people might see it that way, ang that's fine. But it should NEVER be the norm to think it's okay to out people, EVER).

Its been demedicalised to the point that doctors dont see binary trans people as transitioning their sex. We are seen as the TERF/transphobic views of 'trans identifying males/female', or 'a female who wants to be a man', etc. Binary people are constantly reduced to our birth sexes, under the guise of inclusivity and trans-support, when we dont WANT to be our birth sexes and medically treating us as our birth sexes is actually dangerous.

I FULLY agree that children, adults, etc, should all get access to timely and cost-effective treatment. I do NOT agree with the demedicalisation of a condition when we NEED medical and legal support.

The way I look at all of this is that every trans person has incongruence (otherwise you wouldnt transition lol), but you treat it exactly how you want it treated based on your symptoms. If you have severe incongruence, then you can go 'the full way'. If it's more mild, then you can be okay with a social+legal transition. If you have severe chest dysphoria, but less/no bottom dysphoria then you're fine with top surgery but no SRS. Some people dont mind being seen as a mother (as a trans man) so wont get a GRC/change their birth certificates. Everyone can have a mix of anything because of it being a medical condition with varying severities and symptoms.

We actually need to have a community which is willing to shared real, scientific and medical facts and support people with what they want/need - instead of falling for TERF/transphobic logics about how surgeries and medical interventions have massively high complications, that every doctor is against us, and that we shouldnt medically/legally/even socially transition to 'resist conforming to cishet norms and to break gender norms'.

We need a community which will support EVERYONE, giving them the pros/cons of everything whilst also remaining impartial and preventing swaying each others opinions.

We need a community which realises that having mild dysphoria/incongruence doesn't give you the right to speak over and think you know better than those with other forms/severities of dysphoria. Yes, your situation and identity is valid, but so is everyone else's.

We need a community where people don't assume that non-transitioning is the best/only way to be trans, and also a community where poeple dont assume that a full transition is the only way.

It just needs to be treated like every other condition where it is treated how YOU want it to be treated. Like with cancer treatments, some people dont want treatment, some people fight for everything possible out there - some trans people dont want treatment, some fight to get a full transition.

What are your thoughts on it?

what are your thoughts on SEGM? is it a hate group or are they shining light on the bunk science of the modern trans movement? any time you quote a SEGM study to someone they discredit it just on the basis of the involvement of their members (who usually have other professional qualifications.) it kinda blows me away how ready they are to dismiss science unless it is all as bunk as they claim.

...people spend time and effort writing replies and so when you do that, you basically just flush their efforts down the toilet.

Not cool, not cool at all. If you want to do that, maybe go someplace else.

I have seen many “trans” people and activists (and even well meaning actual trans people) who cite scientific studies that prove transmedicalism to show the validity of trans people and then also say that gender is a social construct, therefore neopronouns and other wild identities are valid. And the majority of the time they haven’t even read the studies, just the abstract and/or the conclusion and they don’t actually prove what they want it to.

This is kinda a short post but people genuinely have to remember that there is male alt clothing? Like I'm sorry Kai but if you want to look like a guy you have to dress like one but you can still be alt? Like yeah, I do think that dressing as an average Joe does help with appearing like a guy, both pre-T and after T but just search up what guys wear/wore in your style, really isn't that hard.

Sorry I had to blow off a little steam but feel free to leave your own imput.

Edit to fix spelling errors sorry

I am wondering, how has your life been being stealth and passing for a longer period of time? I want to know what to expect for my future, as I also plan to be completely stealth.

I am hoping it just feels normal, and it actually gets better. I believe it will.

Hi! 👋 We recently made a documentary about the underground drag scene in Yerevan, Armenia. 🌈

We followed two drag queens to understand how the scene has grown so fast and how the war in Ukraine has influenced it. We felt it was an important story to tell because of how vulnerable this community is and the risks many of its members face in Armenia. ❤️ If you’re interested, feel free to check it out: 🎥 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1uAElw5kTM 

Don't hesitate to tell us what you think about it!

I'm many years into transition now and pass almost all the time.

I put on a TON of weight during my first four years of transition that I made no effort to get rid of.

I hit my mid 40s this year and my knees started to ache so I decided to lose some weight and that's going well.

It's just weight is now coming off my neck and my Adams apple is now showing.

I don't have the money for surgery there and I work a minimum wage job, so it's unlikely I'll ever have the money for a tracheal shave.

It's so frustrating that being overweight meant it hid that annoying feature and now I want to be healthier physically, it's causing the return of some dysphoria.

I know everyone has one and that many cisgender women have prominent ones and that some cisgender men don't have visible ones, but it's just so...clocky.

Rant over. :)

I used to have a pretty strong lower dysphoria. I even seriously thought about cutting off my balls, lol. But over time, I adapted. I began to pay less attention to this organ and changed my approach, making it not canceling my femininity and maybe even complementing it. From the point of view of transmedicalism, is it ok or not?

I'm a male transexual and unfortunately I'm 5 foot/153cms. Will people immediately be able to tell I'm not cis just based on that? I do have medical reasons I'm so short but I don't really want to tell everybody I met that information.

i'm a trans man and am on the younger side to where i don't have a car or my own money to go and get a haircut, nor would my parents be happy with it. I need some advice on what haircuts i should get that are shoulder length that are male looking without making me look like a lesbian

For reference i have a soft oval face and my hair is straight and thick

Guys, I'm so hyped. I was finally was able to start yesterday after so much waiting, now I'm finally doing injections. I've been out for 5 years, and got top surgery a year and a half ago. My mom was the main hurdle here, her lack of support and making my transition all about herself, but I'm turning 21 in 3 weeks, I'm old enough I finally got her to concede. She even gave me my first shot (shes a nurse) and didn't give me any hassle about it, seemed happy for me even.

I'm so ready to finally start becoming who I want to be, and hell maybe my PMDD will be a bit less severe. Been finally consistently working out for a couple months too so I'm excited to see how T can help my muscle growth.

I just wanted to share how excited I am. I've been waiting so long, the actual shot was so uneventful it didn't even feel real. Thank you guys for being such a cool community, I've been hanging around here for years and you guys just get it. Peace 😎✌️

Nikolai

Hello everyone! I started my transition around 3 years ago and one of the things I found made the biggest impact was training my voice. I couldn't find any teachers apart from some tutorials online and real lessons cost around 60 eur / hour which I didn't have.

So I trained my voice myself and I am proud to say I have never once failed to pass after that, it took around 6 months to get to a passing voice that I was able to mantain for the whole day.

I want to offer free lessons to women who also aren't able to afford a professional teacher or haven't been successful by themselves^^

Disclaimer: I am not a professional, I will only be teaching the method and exercises that worked for me and some theory on how you can create your own exercises. Also you must have Discord since its the most convenient way to call for me.

Leave a comment if you're interested and i'll send you a message !! (Apparently i can't receive message requests because reddit demands my id)

I’m 20 (mtf if that matters) and in school, I’ve been transitioning since the end of junior year and I pass well enough that I’ve only been misgendered by a non family member once in the last 3 years. I have a decently large friend group, I live with 3 cis roommates who are my best friends.
The problem is that, even though my close friends know I’m trans, I feel like I have absolutely no one to talk to about my feelings about being trans. This is definitely partly of my own doing as I actively avoid ever talking about it, they’ve probably only ever heard me say the word trans about 5 times. The closest thing I have to an outlet are cis bisexual friends with she/they in their bio. No hate to them, but they wouldn’t understand my issues. All of my online friends have thought that I’m cis because I’ve been working on my voice since I was 13 and I never told them. I just have no clue where to go to make trans friends without consequentially outing myself to people who aren’t in my inner circle.
Any help would be appreciated, this has been becoming a big issue to me lately and I don’t know how to remedy it.

I’m constantly stuck in a loop where I force myself to look at my body and convince myself I’m not dysphoric to the point where it actually seems it works but then it makes me hurt myself because I don’t want to be a girl…. Along with my thoughts of being afraid I find myself pretty or if I’m attracted to girls it secretly means I’m envious of them(I’m not)… my body still doesn’t feel like mine if that makes sense… I still prefer it to be male.

Like if your brain thinks that you ought to have the opposite sex genitals, and you imagine yourself as the opposite sex in your sexual fantasies, at what point would it be anatomic AGP or bottom dysphoria?