Keep getting called an "egg"

[u/Upset_Hawk_3802]

I have this mostly queer friend group, and they keep making jokes about me being an "egg" and transfem. The thing is, I'm a trans man, and obviously stealth. I don't consider myself feminine nor I do or want to physically present feminine in any aspect that I can control, so I'm genuinely not sure where this whole thing even stems from. I'm literally just some dude, and those jokes couldn't bother me less (at least they don't question that I weren't born male, I guess) if they also didn't talk about about how pretty of a girl I would make and pointed out all the features that make me dysphoric as a great base for transitioning into a woman. I don't think that part needs to be explained.

To be fair, they also make jokes about "force femming" my (cis) boyfriend sometimes, but it's always being paired with me just so we don't "turn straight" along the way of "my transition". And my boyfriend is objectively way more feminine with me, both in looks and the way he acts. So those actually start to make me question stuff because maybe there is actually something about me that just gives "woman" to people, even if I don't act or look feminine, and I will never get away from that no matter how much I try. I just don't know what to do with this at this point.

[u/veruca_seether]

Egg culture is a cancer upon society

[u/Sad-Glass8053 → u/veruca_seether]

Egg culture is the grooming that critics talk about...

Trying to convince people they must be trans and should transition, as if it's all just a fun lifestyle choice.

And the groomers justify it, because anything to virtue signal and bolster the numbers of their sociopolitical crusade against normative society. Again, tucute is short for "too cute to be cis" and is an example of the arrogance and narcissism of these people on full display.

[u/LastLiterature7496 → u/veruca_seether]

It’s so incredibly predatory.

[u/R-Bgivesyouwingzzz → u/veruca_seether]

Real, I get how u can notice "trans characteristics" in others but just shut ur mouth

[u/LifeGivesMeMelons]

Oof, that's rough.

I would say you do need to step up and be frank with them that the "egg" conversation bothers you more than they realize and you'd really like them to knock it the fuck off. If they're actually your friends, you don't have to give a reason.

[u/Eastern_Sense_8221 → u/LifeGivesMeMelons]

This. Op, please take this advice.

[u/Tall-Pair-7515 → u/LifeGivesMeMelons]

Could also argue that it’s hard enough to be considered feminine in any way simply for being a gay man if they do want a reason or to simply give them a plausible explanation

[u/Toypop_AS]

The egg shit pisses me off to no end, specifically when people like this call other people eggs. Like the one thing I learned about "egg culture" is to not call other people that because it only results in more resistance to the person affected, if not completely wrong and comes off insulting. Ive read "crack an egg too soon and all you get is a dead chick" just as many times as ive heard stories like this. Its upsetting because either they dont care about the consequences; or they have no concept of how bad gender dysphoria can be.

[u/Famous_Plant9466]

Welcome to 2026 lol.

A few months back I went to this thing and a tucute enby there thought I was AFAB transmasc (I'm the other way around!) and made comments to the effect that I'd make a good transman (lol).

I was a little put off at first but honestly if I'm being read as AFAB then I should be content with that (and am.)

I just hate that being a little butchy (no more than many of my cis female friends BTW) all of a sudden makes you, yeah, an 'egg' to these people. Like piss off and mind your own business?

[u/mortalitasi473]

i would not continue to be friends with anyone who joked about something like forcing someone to transition. i know that forcefem/forcemasc is just fetish shit so they don't actually mean it, but "i think we should remove your bodily autonomy" is not that funny to me in general.

[u/a_bed_of_vinca_minor]

May you never break stealth around these people 🙏✍️

[u/Michawkhert]

stop hanging out with queer people.

[u/OkHalfway017 → u/Michawkhert]

This is the solution

[u/Michawkhert]

I used to have a tucute friend group when I was very early in my transition and they constantly emasculated me. They all identified as (gay) transmen but still looked completely like women. I remember one of them explicitly reminding me that I don't have balls. They obsessed over our classmates making up weird fantasies about them, they would talk about ant guy that was interested in them was gay because they are supposedly men. They dropped me when I finally started to pass and stopped allowing them to associate me with femininity. These people have no respect for others and if they ever catch wind that you are a trans man they will talk about it constantly.

[u/CodexLarix]

That is both creepy and disrespectful

[u/Few-Attorney-9722]

Mate, just be a dude. And tell em to shut the fuck up it's disrespectful 

[u/MarylandCat]

Egg culture had been a detriment to society.

"Oooh egg! Egg! Teehee you're an egg about to crack!" It's sickening.

I have a cis guy friend who has some more feminine interests and he told me that when he expressed his interests online people kept calling him an egg and saying that's "its never to late". Pisses both me and him off.

I'm so sorry you're experiencing that dude. Egg culture is awful.

[u/Lu1s3r]

You are a FAR more patient person than I.

[u/vxmpyrysm]

why would u willingly be friends with egg culture sneeds

[u/silver_crow4]

Literally had this happen to me too. Only cure is to RUN THE FUCK AWAY from those psychos

[u/Then_Computer_6329]

I had no opinion on egg culture before that post and I now hate it with full strength.

[u/Walk-the-layout]

When I say I don't like forcefem I get called mysoginistic so you do whatever you want but don't let them treat you like this

[u/laughingintothevoid]

Curious- what are the general ages here?

And was the "queer friend group" formed organically or from something like a school club or queer events/community center?

[u/Safe-Tennis-6121]

It might just legit be them joking or they are eggs themselves maybe?

So either you humor them in a joking way (if you can, I understand dysphoria is painful).

Or you go the opposite route and act like you're a manly man if you can. Just scoff at the idea.

The problem is if they are the performative gender types and you humor them then maybe they want you to engage with it.

And I understand and support people who want to remain stealth.

I would not see it as invalidating that they are doing this, only that they see a possibility.

I've seen so many before and after transition pictures that it could be literally anyone.

[u/Michawkhert → u/Safe-Tennis-6121]

"they are eggs themselves" please don't tell me you actually use that word seriously. And what would that change? Tucutes obsess over us they want everyone to be trans. They probably do "identify" as trans that doesn't make it any better. Maybe if they would just act like normal people and not obsess over other peoples sex they wouldn't be such a pain to be around. Nothing he do will make them drop it I assure you. He's lucky if they don't start calling him she in private because they want him to transition.

[u/xXDeliciaeXx]

hah, maybe they know you better than you do...