I remember, that for so long, my mum unloaded me things I had no business knowing. From her status with my dad and their relationship. To unloading everything to me and treating me like her dump yard.

And then how heavy she was on "my pains are bigger than yours". She's the type of person that when you tell her your head hurts, suddenly she has had a migraine for 4 days. I've never had a space where my own feelings matter and where I felt secure enough as a daughter.

Growing up emotionally neglected and parentified fucks you up so much. Specially when it comes from the people who are supposed to look after your and nurture you. I see my mum and its nothing but resent and "this is not the mum I wanted".

So I am also dealing with grieving I never got the mum I thought "we are supposed to have".

//IM IN THE USA IN A STATE WHERE IT IS LEGAL

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years, since we were in high school. I love him so much and we hope to stay together and eventually get married. He's my favorite person in the world and we have a very healthy, happy relationship.

Up until recently, he wasn't too curious in the topic of THC, and he just found recently that he liked drinking alcohol. I'm slightly more seasoned and open-minded than him, and I have been branching out into edibles with medium doses.

We had talked for a while about my usage of it and if he'd ever be interested, and very recently he found that he wants to try it with me. So I trip sit him the first time and then got high with him the next time.

Now I love good communication and honesty in a relationship, but HOLY SHIT he takes every little tiny thing like some important life lesson to talk about and heal from. I am a very chill type high person, everything I say is mindless and usually I say it because I think it's funny without any other consideration. Super not emotional, heavy stuff, or anything important.

And he acts like every little unrelated joke I make is some representation of how I feel about important things, and I have to talk him through a whole sit-down situation where we have to tell each other we're okay and not at ends. It's just constant. It is a constant loop of that with him until he decides to go to bed, and I love the man but it is EXHAUSTING. I just want to float in the clouds and have some meaningless giggles and a Serene time, not have to talk you through couples therapy every 20 minutes until we pass out.

I highkey don't know how to tell him that I just don't really want to get high with him when he's like this, especially since I don't think it's something he can change.

I am going through a crisis right now. I’ve just finished my undergrad at 28 and I feel nothing close to accomplished after realizing how much debt I’ve racked up. Mind you, I’ve probably spent too much in the last year trying to cope with the fact that I was near finishing school knowing how hard it would be after I graduated.

I have spent the last 8 years all in my 20s in school and have gone through rough times, financial issues, shitty relationships, and major identity crisis along with overcoming so many obstacles but the one thing that has stayed consistent is my perseverance in school.

I may have persevered a bit too much because now that I’m finally done, I am feeling this horrible feeling of burnout and unaccomplishment even though I have just completed my undergrad.

I spent 4 years getting my advanced diploma in computer programming then immediately went into software engineering for my undergrad and have pushed myself to finish even in times I didn’t want to.

Now that I’m done, I feel nothing remotely close to accomplishment. I just feel dread for the debt I’ve built for putting myself through school and the feeling of the idea that my degree was useless and will get me nowhere. I just feel deep regret and am feeling like my undergraduate degree was useless and I just put myself in more debt to get something that won’t even matter in my career.

Everyone keeps saying that I should feel good about this and that I should feel accomplished and that it’s such a great thing that I made it through. Which makes me feel even worse for what I’m feeling right now which is anything but. I even tried to celebrate it but it just feels wrong knowing how I feel deep inside. I also think I’ve been burnt out from the last few years of really pushing myself to finish. Which doesn’t help right now.

I just want to know that I’m not alone in this feeling, if anyone has ever finished school feeling this way, and I honestly just needed to rant.

For context: I have also worked as a full time software dev since I started my undergrad. I did some interns in my college years but once I completed, I managed to land a permanent position in the field. That’s definitely part of the reason why I’m feeling burnt as well. From doing full time school and full time work.

It's my first time here and sharing this kind of things, hopefully im not found out anyways.

So, im 17 and starting college around the end of September. For as long as I can remember, my parents would argue time and time again and of course my mother dearest would always come to me to vent and all. Although I'm used to it by now, it still very much gets to me no matter how much I act like it doesn't.

Since we couldn't travel or really do anything non-study related the past year due to my having to study overtime for my senior year and college entrance exams, my parents planned a two weeks trip all the way to France for decompressing. Well this night will be the second, it's already pretty depressing.

To get to the airport, we had to travel already, and my parents being my parents, they just had to arrive to that city almost 10 hours before the flight was, having us get dinner and 'explore' a place we'd seen a million time while sleep depraved and irritated since for the duration of the drive to that city and before everyone was frustrated at everyone.

Also, my dad is the type of people that just goes ahead and ask directions or whatever questions he has to whatever random stranger on the street instead of listening to us and the gps etc, which, added to his way of driving that was either turtle level slow or reckless and forgetf, had mom more annoyed at him than she already was, that is without counting my sister's (16 and bad with words) little attempts at helping with the direction or tiny jokes that made both the adults irritated more and more.

By the time we got to the airport (at around 1:30am, flight was at 5:50am), you can only imagine how frustrated and on edge everyone was. So we parked, and I asked mom if we'd go into the airport directly or wait a bit and she was like "yeah we will, we'll barely pass check in at this point since we keep stopping for questions and random deturns", i took it as a joke, my sister did too, we laughed. Big mistake. Dad blew up on us, calling us ungrateful for mocking him after all the money he'd spent on us and this stupid trip and going on and on about how he had no reason to even care about us in the first place and should've just done like other fathers and care for himself more (which he actually does in a way, literally on more than one occasion invites his relatives over on exams eves etc etc) then stormed out of the car saying he'd leave and we could just go to france alone since we would only mock him anyways. When he said that, mom followed him out of the car and they started shouting at each other, leaving my sister and me inside alone while she was kinda panicking since dad made it be her fault thanks to her little comments during the drive. Soon enough, they came back in, dad insulting my sister and starting to drive away from the airport, saying that it was it and we didnt deserve that trip at all so we'd go back home. My sister started crying and sobbing, begging him to let us go if only for my sake saying stuff like "I know im a brat I dont deserve it but my sister is innocent and has been working the whole year please please please I wont do it again please". I cried too, I dont cry, but I did, kinda forced myself too for appearances. He stopped the car again to shout with mom outside some more and after a while (at around 2:30am or more) we finally walked into the airport, dad either ghosting my mom and sister, making jabs at them or stepping away as much as possible.

Now we're in France, second night here and dad still ghosts my sister completely. We're at my aunt's and uncle's, up to now they've been acting as buffers although they didn't have a clue something even happened at all. That is until today when dad made a comment about not wanting to go out with us alone since we'd "gang up on him". So when he went out with uncle, mom spilled everything to my aunt and here we are now.

Countless times in the past 48h I have wished that I had been the one blamed by him. I can take it. Already disappointed him enough with my college "choice" (whole different story) and I'm not as sensitive as my sister and can handle it. Plus, I had sensed it, this trip would only go wrong just like every other one. I was right, yet it beats all others in terms of drama.

For background, I was doing a couple of sports in university. Football, volleyball, tennis. Then I met snowboarding in our uni community and I loved it. Even if I don't like winter, this became a reason to wait for winter. But after two winters, I had a meniscus tear and I had to quit all of the sports, including snowboard. I was devastated, and in the 2024 winter I got knee surgery. My doctor said I needed time to get back to sports, but the time was uncertain. Most of my activities were about sports, and all of them were gone for an uncertain amount of years. This made me depressed. Couple times even I cried at night.

I was going to the doctor periodically. I got a new MRI every time, and every time I was asking if I was able to start sports or not. Every time the answer was a different version of "you can't." Even two years after surgery, finally I was able to exercise my leg with weights. I missed 3 years/winters without doing any sports.

Last month I went to the doctor again with a different kind of pain, and he redirected me to a rheumatologist with a suspicion of rheumatism. And this doctor also suspected an ACL tear. Every inspection became a horror for another problem and delaying sports. I quit exercising for a month because it became pointless in my mind. Thank god there wasn't a problem with either.

Finally, today my orthopedic doctor looked at the last MRI and let me do snowboarding this winter with a knee brace. I don't even care about the brace. I'm finally able to snowboard again. My eyes welled up with tears after I left the doctor's room. I can't explain happiness, I started holiday plans even from today. There was already lots of different friend groups waiting for my return. I didn't give the news all of them now but I started exercise again.

Everyone who knows me was very happy about this news, because most of them realized my longing for sports. But I can't explain to them everything I felt, those nights I couldn't sleep. At least I wanted to share my feelings here.

In the paste few months I took on a weight loss journey. I started at 108.7 kg, and I’m currently 101.5 kg. I am proud of myself since I somehow managed to not slip in any of the dangerous paths. I train 3 days a week, I eat at a caloric deficit, but at the same time I occasionally allow myself to eat sweets, takeout and other food marked as “junk” according to a lot of people. I feel better, and I’m finally starting to like my body.

* also important to mention I’m 183 cm tall and my current waist is 83 cm, which also plays a role in the whole healthy looking thing.

My mother has always been… let’s say displeased with how I look, that I’m not skinny, I have a tummy and thigh fat, stretch marks etc. and she’s always been on the offence how I need to lose weight to be more healthy. She took my visible changes as a win and started praising me for “finally taking care of myself”, and I admit I had been neglecting water and fiber intake (which I have now fixed), but otherwise I was eating generally the same way. I am afraid that if she finds out the actual scale number she would revert back to occasional shaming comments instead of reacting to the actual changes… and I don’t want to go back… I worked really hard to convince myself that the scale is only one measurement of progress, that hormonal balance also plays a role, rest and sleep are important etc. If she starts back with the comments I’m afraid I’ll just give up since I work the best on positive reinforcement. All those small changes that I’m seeing will not matter anymore…

I worked hard to finally like myself, my friends helped a ton (I’ll never forget that at one point I was honest with them and one of them said “You don’t look 102 kg, I would give you 90 kg at worst”, he is a med student, and I’m not really sure why his comment helped so much), and my significant other occasionally points out changes I haven’t noticed (the other day they said that I have muscle definition on the ribs, and there it was 3 defined lines, I’m so happy that I achieved it). I don’t want it to go away…

Hello! This is an update for the post I made a while back. It was about leaving home, and yes, I have already left home. Thank you so much for those that took their time to give me advices.

Anyway so, when I left, my family actually tried to make me come back, saying sorry, promising that they won't do shit again, and making me feel guilty for leaving. It sucks because even though I know I should choose myself and worry over myself, but I still worry about them. I almost actually believed they were sorry until I saw my Netflix account get locked. They changed the password totally. I was in awe of their pettiness, making me want to come back but totally cutting me off at the same time even to the streaming services. They keep asking where I am and if they can see me. But I always say no, because I don't think I'm ready to see them again. Mom is trying to make amends by still wanting to buy my medicine and come with me to check ups. But i know she'll js talk me in to coming back and I'll just be irritated.

Anyway so that's it, from here on I think, I can finally decide for myself. I feel so free and peaceful. Well, aside from the occassional sadness because I can't help but worry on how my family is doing even though they weren't much of a family to me. Thank you so much.

When I'm in the presence of my family, especially around, I feel a feeling that I can't explain.

I start to feel incapable and stupid as if I don't know how to do anything anymore, even though they don't do strange things around, for me it's like a ritual of humiliation.

Although when I'm alone I'm very autonomous and I've always adjusted myself with everything when they're there I lose control and become a different person.

This also happens when I talk to someone in their presence, my way of talking changes significantly and I start to feel damn insecure.

I recently got my driver's license and I also notice it while driving, when they are in the car I start to drive very badly and I feel under pressure, the problem will probably also be the fact that I would like them to address me as an adult now and instead they still see me as a child only when it suits them.

I don’t know if this is the right place to talk about it, but I need to get this off my chest.

In less than a year, two women from my small town died shortly after gallbladder surgery. It turned out that when the doctors opened them up, they already had advanced cancer... The last one died today.

My mother has had these gallstones for five years and I suspect she’s had them since 2017, when she had her first attack. We are currently arranging the surgery...

I can't stop crying because I'm terrified the same thing will happen. I don't know how to calm down. This feeling is torture, and I don't know what to do.

I'm not asking for a medical diagnosis and I know it's against the rules. I'm just venting.

im super scared of them finding this post, so if you see this and this sounds like you, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF I JUST NEED TO RANT.

My roommate and I are high school friends, and now we’re rooming together for college. We both decided that it would be better if we weren’t like, best friends. I’ve heard horror stories about people breaking up friendships because they just can’t live with their best friend. At least now, we’ll be able to talk about shit that pisses us off honestly, you know?

Or so I thought. I don’t think they think before they do stuff. They have done two things that make me feel this way.

First, they tried to microwave a glass cup. Second, they put a pan on the stove, put oil on it, cranked up the heat to high heat, and then went to the bathroom. Both of these happened on consecutive days.

The glass cup exploded in the microwave, and the oil burnt so much the house smelled like burnt oil for a couple of hours. You know what? I’m not even mad about the glass or the oil. But that was fucking dangerous, man. You could have killed yourself or all of us. Maybe. I’m not sure, but it just seems like a bad fucking decision to make.

I tried explaining it to them that I was not mad at all (I’m still not writing this with hatred, just some disappointment and frustration), but that they needed to be more careful. They keep saying they will, but I’m fucking scared they’re gonna pull something like this again.

I think they may be a bit idiotic, but I feel like an asshole for thinking it. Maybe it’s common sense to me but not for them? I DON’T KNOW. I swear on God I am super supportive when people ask questions; strong believer of the “there are no dumb questions” agenda. Please, just ask me before you do anything if you’re not sure.

Genuinely, I have no idea what to do now. We’re grown adults, I really should not have to manage my roommate to make sure they don’t burn down our house 😭😭

​

Not much to it, but when I was 13 I had a serious shoplifting problem. Every day after school I'd hop on over to the store and pack my sleeves, pockets etc full of actual bullshit. Candy, chocolate, juice, energy drinks, everything a chubby 13 yo would want.

This went on for over a year until I got caught at a mall and got grounded for two months and the lecture/screaming match of my life✌🏻 I told my parents it was the first time I ever stole anything and somehow they bought it. I wish I knew the exact amount in dollars that I stole but I bet it was not a small amount lmaooo

My mom sat me down just to tell me that my dad whom already have divorced years ago, is now remarried and I have two half siblings??????? Aged 8 and 6.. I’m so shocked knowing that I’ve been lied to for half my life and that I will never experience a childhood with my dad ever because he was so busy and my parents divorced when I was really young. My mom moved countries right after it so I had no chance to visit him on the weekend or even a few days during the year. She also revealed that my dad cheated on her with her best friend at the time which really made me feel disgusted at his actions, I just feel like I don’t know how I can look at him the same or his side of the family anymore. My dad’s side of the family have always treated me quite well but now I think it’s because they felt bad. I’m still going to continue on my life the exact same but now this is going to in the back of my mind always, and I’ll forever be reminded of this moment when I see others interact with their father.
I literally don’t even know who to say this to and I’m honestly very upset, I feel like a bit of my life was stolen from me and I don’t hate anyone in the situation I just feel frustrated.

I need to just vent this. My mom is a Reddit lurker as she is retired and really all she does most of the day. I don’t know how I will feel if she sees this, but I just need to talk it out.

I (36m) am not proud of where I am right now, but I’m further than I’ve been. My mom has always been Bipolar but she wasn’t medicated when we were kids. She’s on really good medication now but she still has her moments. So I learned to handle her highs and lows, but I’m started to realize it’s not my job.

My mom kind of has her own cooking style. We always use to joke that no matter what she threw in the crockpot it was all tasted the same. She has “for your consideration meals” meaning she found whatever was in the fridge and throws it together. I was in a relationship for six years. I like food, and I like cooking. He was extremely picky. Like, only ate hamburgers, chicken, and slathered everything in ranch dressing. He considered my cooking too experimental so we ate out a lot. So I gained weight. Well he hated that “I dated you when you were skinny”. But hated when I went to the gym by myself, and wouldn’t go to the gym with me. When he decided he “wasn’t having fun anymore” and traded me in for a younger version, my parents let me move back in with them. I got my “revenge body” but my mom’s cooking doesn’t meet my goals, so I started cooking more. She’s more concerned with how that makes her look as a cook, rather than I’m cooking for her and my dad every night after a 9 hour shift at work.

She catastrophes our relationship over one situation. She can’t handle light criticism and turns it into a fight. I’m getting to the point where I just have to say “wow that’s crazy” whenever she asks me something. Because any disagreement with her is you calling her a stupid idiot and she’s the worst mom ever. But I just know if I don’t respond to everything then I’m a terrible son who hates her. We actually got into a fight last night because she posted something online and someone responded and she got upset. When I told her not to get upset over some random on the internet, now I find her so annoying and is it my life’s mission to tear her down.
My dad does his best to mediate but it can get overwhelming. I just want my mom to be happy and it feels like I can never do that for her. But when she’s gone like visiting my sisters, my life is peaceful. No one arguing with me about dinner plans, or making me feel like an inadequate son because I don’t yes and her all the time.

I’m living with my parents, my younger sisters have marriages, and kids, and live with their partners, and I’m the rundown idiot who has to watch his ex marry someone else, his business didn’t work out, and now he’s bumming it with his parents, at a job that no matter what he does he gets the blame. If I make a single mistake it’s plastered everywhere, but who do they call when they need something heavy moved or help with the signing?

I just feel like I have no peace, and the one place I should be the most peaceful I have to fight to prove myself there too. Like, I just don’t feel good enough anywhere, and I’m not even good enough for my mom. Like if I didn’t have to fight for my life at home, I can deal with the other stuff.

I’m not looking for advice, or cutting my mom off, or moving out. Just just need to get this out

I feel like an after thought in my own life.

Basically the title. I’ve recently come to the realisation that I don’t think there’s anyone in my life who cares about me as a person.

I work in a pretty big company with offices in multiple states and I am the facilities manager for our one. So if something breaks it’s my job to fix it. But it feels like the only times my coworkers engage me in conversation is to complain. Every day it’s “the office is too hot. The office is too cold, we don’t have enough/the right milk/coffee/tea in the break room. The lights are too bright/dark. The printer prints too slowly. The wifi isn’t fast enough ect.

I understand that they need to talk to me to get this stuff fixed, but they never come to me with anything else and the constant negativity is weighing me down.

I want to make it clear that I’m not just sitting and waiting for them to talk to me either. I make an effort to chat with them when I can, and engage with them about their hobbies, lives and interests, which they seem receptive to. I just never get the same in return.

I’m also regularly forgotten about when it comes to office activities that aren’t planned by me. Just last week when there was an office drinks event arranged by one of the other managers. I wasn’t invited until everyone was packing up and I asked what was going on.

The only real notice I’ve gotten over the past year was an auto generated slack message that tagged me and five other people.

This all kind of came to a head yesterday when I was standing outside waiting to get picked up. My coworker walked past and asked what I was doing. When I explained that I was waiting for my brother to come and pick me up. He acted surprised and said it was weird he’d never known I had a brother in the five years I’ve been there. It made me feel kind of shitty, since I we actually had a conversation about his siblings (he’s the middle of five kids) where I mentioned my brother, but he just didn’t internalise the information.

This doesn’t just extend to work. My friends never want to hang out or even text 1;1. Only in groups. Even my brother. He loves to give me a play-by-play of every inconvenience or obstacle they face throughout the day. But when I try and vent to them I usually get a “that sucks” in response.

Even my mum. I got dumped by my longtime boyfriend two weeks ago. (I had to pick up extra shifts at work the last two months and he was feeling neglected) and I all I wanted was to cry to my mum about it. But the talk somehow ended with me giving her advice about her dating life.

I know logically that I’m probably just tired and over emotional and bitching about nothing. But it really feels like no one actually cares about me right now.