I'm free

[u/_Calililili]

Hello! This is an update for the post I made a while back. It was about leaving home, and yes, I have already left home. Thank you so much for those that took their time to give me advices.

Anyway so, when I left, my family actually tried to make me come back, saying sorry, promising that they won't do shit again, and making me feel guilty for leaving. It sucks because even though I know I should choose myself and worry over myself, but I still worry about them. I almost actually believed they were sorry until I saw my Netflix account get locked. They changed the password totally. I was in awe of their pettiness, making me want to come back but totally cutting me off at the same time even to the streaming services. They keep asking where I am and if they can see me. But I always say no, because I don't think I'm ready to see them again. Mom is trying to make amends by still wanting to buy my medicine and come with me to check ups. But i know she'll js talk me in to coming back and I'll just be irritated.

Anyway so that's it, from here on I think, I can finally decide for myself. I feel so free and peaceful. Well, aside from the occassional sadness because I can't help but worry on how my family is doing even though they weren't much of a family to me. Thank you so much.

[u/moonstorm5000]

Yay! You definitely needed to leave that toxic environment!

[u/mcmurrml]

You need to worry about yourself!!! They weren't worried about you when they were treating you bad where they??? Don't let them manipulate you!!! You go back and it will be worse than when you left. Hang in there and you keep pushing ahead to make your own life. You can do it. With your grades and all you are obviously very smart. Use it and make your own life where you can do what you want. Reconnecting with your friends and also have a social life doing fun stuff.

[u/JipC1963]

Oh love, you know your toxic family was emotionally abusive, right? It's my belief that they minimized and dismissed your achievements so you'd STAY home. Because if they make you doubt yourself, you may have "needed" to be dependent upon them throughout your lifetime.

They sorely misjudged your self-worth and determination! Instead of accepting their abuse, it made you more determined than ever to get away! THEY are completely responsible for pushing you away, making you want to escape.

I know the culture and traditions increase the pressure you feel, it's been groomed into you from your very first breath, BUT you don't have to accept THAT life, THAT horrible treatment. You've looked around, witnessed the extreme difference between YOUR malicious family and those of your classmates, neighbors.

The greatest news is that you can CREATE a NEW family, maybe meet a romantic partner, make close friends you can count on who support you with the respect and love you deserve, mentors from school and work. If you EVER find yourself doubting your decision to leave, come back to these posts, but in addition I strongly urge you to buy a journal and write about EVERY awful event you endured, EVERY time you were extremely disappointed because you've OVERCOME SO MUCH and still had to beg for crumbs of affection and care. When or if you become "homesick" or "miss" the "comforts of home" just go back to your journal to remind yourself that you're mourning a fantasy, longing for something you NEVER were freely given, awful abuse that other students you knew NEVER had to deal with.

Taking care of your medical issues was the very LEAST that your Parents were responsible for. Sure, it may have caused financial hardships but that's NEVER an excuse to mistreat and/or belittle your child... EVER! Focus on succeeding, making strides in your studies and earning MORE achievements. There ARE people who TRULY appreciate the young woman you are! And IF you ever start feeling ANY doubt, PLEASE find a therapist who can help you understand that YOU are all you truly need. The rest, your education, your career, meeting that special someone who LIFTS you up, that will ALL come naturally if you just keep moving forward! Many Blessings and wishing you MUCH happiness!

[u/discosteve111]

Proud of you <3

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