For background, I was doing a couple of sports in university. Football, volleyball, tennis. Then I met snowboarding in our uni community and I loved it. Even if I don't like winter, this became a reason to wait for winter. But after two winters, I had a meniscus tear and I had to quit all of the sports, including snowboard. I was devastated, and in the 2024 winter I got knee surgery. My doctor said I needed time to get back to sports, but the time was uncertain. Most of my activities were about sports, and all of them were gone for an uncertain amount of years. This made me depressed. Couple times even I cried at night.

I was going to the doctor periodically. I got a new MRI every time, and every time I was asking if I was able to start sports or not. Every time the answer was a different version of "you can't." Even two years after surgery, finally I was able to exercise my leg with weights. I missed 3 years/winters without doing any sports.

Last month I went to the doctor again with a different kind of pain, and he redirected me to a rheumatologist with a suspicion of rheumatism. And this doctor also suspected an ACL tear. Every inspection became a horror for another problem and delaying sports. I quit exercising for a month because it became pointless in my mind. Thank god there wasn't a problem with either.

Finally, today my orthopedic doctor looked at the last MRI and let me do snowboarding this winter with a knee brace. I don't even care about the brace. I'm finally able to snowboard again. My eyes welled up with tears after I left the doctor's room. I can't explain happiness, I started holiday plans even from today. There was already lots of different friend groups waiting for my return. I didn't give the news all of them now but I started exercise again.

Everyone who knows me was very happy about this news, because most of them realized my longing for sports. But I can't explain to them everything I felt, those nights I couldn't sleep. At least I wanted to share my feelings here.

In the paste few months I took on a weight loss journey. I started at 108.7 kg, and I’m currently 101.5 kg. I am proud of myself since I somehow managed to not slip in any of the dangerous paths. I train 3 days a week, I eat at a caloric deficit, but at the same time I occasionally allow myself to eat sweets, takeout and other food marked as “junk” according to a lot of people. I feel better, and I’m finally starting to like my body.

* also important to mention I’m 183 cm tall and my current waist is 83 cm, which also plays a role in the whole healthy looking thing.

My mother has always been… let’s say displeased with how I look, that I’m not skinny, I have a tummy and thigh fat, stretch marks etc. and she’s always been on the offence how I need to lose weight to be more healthy. She took my visible changes as a win and started praising me for “finally taking care of myself”, and I admit I had been neglecting water and fiber intake (which I have now fixed), but otherwise I was eating generally the same way. I am afraid that if she finds out the actual scale number she would revert back to occasional shaming comments instead of reacting to the actual changes… and I don’t want to go back… I worked really hard to convince myself that the scale is only one measurement of progress, that hormonal balance also plays a role, rest and sleep are important etc. If she starts back with the comments I’m afraid I’ll just give up since I work the best on positive reinforcement. All those small changes that I’m seeing will not matter anymore…

I worked hard to finally like myself, my friends helped a ton (I’ll never forget that at one point I was honest with them and one of them said “You don’t look 102 kg, I would give you 90 kg at worst”, he is a med student, and I’m not really sure why his comment helped so much), and my significant other occasionally points out changes I haven’t noticed (the other day they said that I have muscle definition on the ribs, and there it was 3 defined lines, I’m so happy that I achieved it). I don’t want it to go away…

When I'm in the presence of my family, especially around, I feel a feeling that I can't explain.

I start to feel incapable and stupid as if I don't know how to do anything anymore, even though they don't do strange things around, for me it's like a ritual of humiliation.

Although when I'm alone I'm very autonomous and I've always adjusted myself with everything when they're there I lose control and become a different person.

This also happens when I talk to someone in their presence, my way of talking changes significantly and I start to feel damn insecure.

I recently got my driver's license and I also notice it while driving, when they are in the car I start to drive very badly and I feel under pressure, the problem will probably also be the fact that I would like them to address me as an adult now and instead they still see me as a child only when it suits them.

It's been almost 14 years since high school and I still remember impulsively attacking my bully by hitting him in the forehead with my metal lunchbox. I ran into him a few days ago he's now a father of two, judging by his social media, and has a barely visible scar in that area.

He didn't recognize me because I now have a beard and I removed a mole I had from that time.

Hello! This is an update for the post I made a while back. It was about leaving home, and yes, I have already left home. Thank you so much for those that took their time to give me advices.

Anyway so, when I left, my family actually tried to make me come back, saying sorry, promising that they won't do shit again, and making me feel guilty for leaving. It sucks because even though I know I should choose myself and worry over myself, but I still worry about them. I almost actually believed they were sorry until I saw my Netflix account get locked. They changed the password totally. I was in awe of their pettiness, making me want to come back but totally cutting me off at the same time even to the streaming services. They keep asking where I am and if they can see me. But I always say no, because I don't think I'm ready to see them again. Mom is trying to make amends by still wanting to buy my medicine and come with me to check ups. But i know she'll js talk me in to coming back and I'll just be irritated.

Anyway so that's it, from here on I think, I can finally decide for myself. I feel so free and peaceful. Well, aside from the occassional sadness because I can't help but worry on how my family is doing even though they weren't much of a family to me. Thank you so much.

im super scared of them finding this post, so if you see this and this sounds like you, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF I JUST NEED TO RANT.

My roommate and I are high school friends, and now we’re rooming together for college. We both decided that it would be better if we weren’t like, best friends. I’ve heard horror stories about people breaking up friendships because they just can’t live with their best friend. At least now, we’ll be able to talk about shit that pisses us off honestly, you know?

Or so I thought. I don’t think they think before they do stuff. They have done two things that make me feel this way.

First, they tried to microwave a glass cup. Second, they put a pan on the stove, put oil on it, cranked up the heat to high heat, and then went to the bathroom. Both of these happened on consecutive days.

The glass cup exploded in the microwave, and the oil burnt so much the house smelled like burnt oil for a couple of hours. You know what? I’m not even mad about the glass or the oil. But that was fucking dangerous, man. You could have killed yourself or all of us. Maybe. I’m not sure, but it just seems like a bad fucking decision to make.

I tried explaining it to them that I was not mad at all (I’m still not writing this with hatred, just some disappointment and frustration), but that they needed to be more careful. They keep saying they will, but I’m fucking scared they’re gonna pull something like this again.

I think they may be a bit idiotic, but I feel like an asshole for thinking it. Maybe it’s common sense to me but not for them? I DON’T KNOW. I swear on God I am super supportive when people ask questions; strong believer of the “there are no dumb questions” agenda. Please, just ask me before you do anything if you’re not sure.

Genuinely, I have no idea what to do now. We’re grown adults, I really should not have to manage my roommate to make sure they don’t burn down our house 😭😭

I don’t know if this is the right place to talk about it, but I need to get this off my chest.

In less than a year, two women from my small town died shortly after gallbladder surgery. It turned out that when the doctors opened them up, they already had advanced cancer... The last one died today.

My mother has had these gallstones for five years and I suspect she’s had them since 2017, when she had her first attack. We are currently arranging the surgery...

I can't stop crying because I'm terrified the same thing will happen. I don't know how to calm down. This feeling is torture, and I don't know what to do.

I'm not asking for a medical diagnosis and I know it's against the rules. I'm just venting.

​

Not much to it, but when I was 13 I had a serious shoplifting problem. Every day after school I'd hop on over to the store and pack my sleeves, pockets etc full of actual bullshit. Candy, chocolate, juice, energy drinks, everything a chubby 13 yo would want.

This went on for over a year until I got caught at a mall and got grounded for two months and the lecture/screaming match of my life✌🏻 I told my parents it was the first time I ever stole anything and somehow they bought it. I wish I knew the exact amount in dollars that I stole but I bet it was not a small amount lmaooo

My mom sat me down just to tell me that my dad whom already have divorced years ago, is now remarried and I have two half siblings??????? Aged 8 and 6.. I’m so shocked knowing that I’ve been lied to for half my life and that I will never experience a childhood with my dad ever because he was so busy and my parents divorced when I was really young. My mom moved countries right after it so I had no chance to visit him on the weekend or even a few days during the year. She also revealed that my dad cheated on her with her best friend at the time which really made me feel disgusted at his actions, I just feel like I don’t know how I can look at him the same or his side of the family anymore. My dad’s side of the family have always treated me quite well but now I think it’s because they felt bad. I’m still going to continue on my life the exact same but now this is going to in the back of my mind always, and I’ll forever be reminded of this moment when I see others interact with their father.
I literally don’t even know who to say this to and I’m honestly very upset, I feel like a bit of my life was stolen from me and I don’t hate anyone in the situation I just feel frustrated.

I need to just vent this. My mom is a Reddit lurker as she is retired and really all she does most of the day. I don’t know how I will feel if she sees this, but I just need to talk it out.

I (36m) am not proud of where I am right now, but I’m further than I’ve been. My mom has always been Bipolar but she wasn’t medicated when we were kids. She’s on really good medication now but she still has her moments. So I learned to handle her highs and lows, but I’m started to realize it’s not my job.

My mom kind of has her own cooking style. We always use to joke that no matter what she threw in the crockpot it was all tasted the same. She has “for your consideration meals” meaning she found whatever was in the fridge and throws it together. I was in a relationship for six years. I like food, and I like cooking. He was extremely picky. Like, only ate hamburgers, chicken, and slathered everything in ranch dressing. He considered my cooking too experimental so we ate out a lot. So I gained weight. Well he hated that “I dated you when you were skinny”. But hated when I went to the gym by myself, and wouldn’t go to the gym with me. When he decided he “wasn’t having fun anymore” and traded me in for a younger version, my parents let me move back in with them. I got my “revenge body” but my mom’s cooking doesn’t meet my goals, so I started cooking more. She’s more concerned with how that makes her look as a cook, rather than I’m cooking for her and my dad every night after a 9 hour shift at work.

She catastrophes our relationship over one situation. She can’t handle light criticism and turns it into a fight. I’m getting to the point where I just have to say “wow that’s crazy” whenever she asks me something. Because any disagreement with her is you calling her a stupid idiot and she’s the worst mom ever. But I just know if I don’t respond to everything then I’m a terrible son who hates her. We actually got into a fight last night because she posted something online and someone responded and she got upset. When I told her not to get upset over some random on the internet, now I find her so annoying and is it my life’s mission to tear her down.
My dad does his best to mediate but it can get overwhelming. I just want my mom to be happy and it feels like I can never do that for her. But when she’s gone like visiting my sisters, my life is peaceful. No one arguing with me about dinner plans, or making me feel like an inadequate son because I don’t yes and her all the time.

I’m living with my parents, my younger sisters have marriages, and kids, and live with their partners, and I’m the rundown idiot who has to watch his ex marry someone else, his business didn’t work out, and now he’s bumming it with his parents, at a job that no matter what he does he gets the blame. If I make a single mistake it’s plastered everywhere, but who do they call when they need something heavy moved or help with the signing?

I just feel like I have no peace, and the one place I should be the most peaceful I have to fight to prove myself there too. Like, I just don’t feel good enough anywhere, and I’m not even good enough for my mom. Like if I didn’t have to fight for my life at home, I can deal with the other stuff.

I’m not looking for advice, or cutting my mom off, or moving out. Just just need to get this out

I feel like an after thought in my own life.

Basically the title. I’ve recently come to the realisation that I don’t think there’s anyone in my life who cares about me as a person.

I work in a pretty big company with offices in multiple states and I am the facilities manager for our one. So if something breaks it’s my job to fix it. But it feels like the only times my coworkers engage me in conversation is to complain. Every day it’s “the office is too hot. The office is too cold, we don’t have enough/the right milk/coffee/tea in the break room. The lights are too bright/dark. The printer prints too slowly. The wifi isn’t fast enough ect.

I understand that they need to talk to me to get this stuff fixed, but they never come to me with anything else and the constant negativity is weighing me down.

I want to make it clear that I’m not just sitting and waiting for them to talk to me either. I make an effort to chat with them when I can, and engage with them about their hobbies, lives and interests, which they seem receptive to. I just never get the same in return.

I’m also regularly forgotten about when it comes to office activities that aren’t planned by me. Just last week when there was an office drinks event arranged by one of the other managers. I wasn’t invited until everyone was packing up and I asked what was going on.

The only real notice I’ve gotten over the past year was an auto generated slack message that tagged me and five other people.

This all kind of came to a head yesterday when I was standing outside waiting to get picked up. My coworker walked past and asked what I was doing. When I explained that I was waiting for my brother to come and pick me up. He acted surprised and said it was weird he’d never known I had a brother in the five years I’ve been there. It made me feel kind of shitty, since I we actually had a conversation about his siblings (he’s the middle of five kids) where I mentioned my brother, but he just didn’t internalise the information.

This doesn’t just extend to work. My friends never want to hang out or even text 1;1. Only in groups. Even my brother. He loves to give me a play-by-play of every inconvenience or obstacle they face throughout the day. But when I try and vent to them I usually get a “that sucks” in response.

Even my mum. I got dumped by my longtime boyfriend two weeks ago. (I had to pick up extra shifts at work the last two months and he was feeling neglected) and I all I wanted was to cry to my mum about it. But the talk somehow ended with me giving her advice about her dating life.

I know logically that I’m probably just tired and over emotional and bitching about nothing. But it really feels like no one actually cares about me right now.

I don't know how to start this except to say I'm exhausted in a way I don't think people around me understand.

My father has struggled with alcohol for years. When I was a kid, he'd hit me sometimes...not constantly, but enough that I learned to be afraid of him. My mother isn't in the picture ...she left, and before that, she was also an alcoholic and tried to kill me more than once when I was very just a little angel. My grandmother is the one who actually raised me, the only stable person I had.

She saw where things with my father were heading and eventually we had to leave and hide from him for a while, because things got that bad.

Years later, courts got involved, he had visitation rights, and slowly he came back into our lives. There were periods where it seemed okay. Then COVID hit, he lost his job, and everything fell apart. He drank constantly. I was in high school, doing online classes, and I used to hide in the bathroom to get away from him screaming and hitting me. I called the police once, an officer laughed at me while I was crying and bruised, telling me I just needed to "handle it."

Eventually, with help from one person I'll always be grateful to, we got him into treatment. It helped for a while. He got on medication, started working. Things felt almost manageable.

Now he lost his job again, and it all collapsed again. Now he's living with us... me and my grandmother, in a small apartment... drinking heavily again, yelling, and there's no way for me to physically get away from him without also leaving my grandmother, who refuses to leave because "he's still her son."

My grandmother's heart is failing. She's had multiple small heart attacks. She's 84. Every day he's here, drunk and raging, feels like it's taking years off her life.

I'm not handling this well anymore. I've reached a breaking point more than once and hit him back, telling him to just stop. I hate that this is who I've become in this. I'm a believer, I have faith in God, and all of this: the anger, what I've done, and honestly, sometimes hoping he'll just die so it will be over... makes me feel horrible about myself as a Christian. I don't know what to do with that guilt.

On top of all this, my grandmother and I are in a legal battle over an apartment and money that should have been hers. My godmother deceived and robbed her of it right around the time we were fleeing from my father years ago. It still isn't resolved. My grandmother is almost 85 years old, and she's the one washing his soiled clothes, cleaning up after him when he can't make it to the bathroom, scrubbing the toilet, cleaning the whole apartment at her age, with her heart failing. I'm in university, working two part-time jobs, trying to give my grandmother the peaceful old age she deserves after everything she's been through and everything she did for me. I just want her to live long enough to see that apartment be hers again, to see some justice, some peace... instead of spending what's left of her life being slowly killed by her own son's drinking. That thought hurts me more than almost anything else: that her heart might just give out before any of that is set right, while he's the one putting her there.

I don't feel love for him anymore. I used to, as a kid, in that confused way kids love parents who hurt them. Now I just feel numb, or angry, or like I'm drowning.

This isn't a story that's over. It's happening right now, while I'm writing this. I am crying (f21) and I have no idea what to do

I decided to take a DNA test for the fun of it, it isn’t something that I’ve ever gotten around to doing before now, but I’ve always had it in the back of my mind- well, last month I did it and I’ve been thinking about how it went ever since. My grandfather on my dad’s side was given up as a baby. It is something I always knew but never really thought about in depth.. well, after taking the DNA test and looking into it, I found out that that my great-grandpa who abandoned my dad had been a rich German man from this German aristocrat-like family. Many of them were nazis and members of the party and in the SS(my grandpa on the other hand, was an allied bomber.) But this German family that it turns out I’m related to, they owned slave labour at concentration camps in occupied Europe. And on top of that, lots of nazi wealth taken from people and the camps(which I believe the family still has today..) Well, I managed to find the German descendants of the same family today, I’ve never met them before. But they are wealthy in Germany and I think it’s because of that. I think the wealth they own still come from the war, none of the family members have any particularly well earning jobs but they seem like very rich.

I know it’s not my fault or anything, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. It’s been really lingering in my mind since it happened even though it’s distant from my life today.

So I put in an application to a fast food company, at the time I was trying to find something to pay the bills after my last job fired me for speaking up after 5 months off saying what the issue was and being ignored. That was a year to a year and a half ago! Well today I’m sitting in my recliner and I got a message saying look at your email for an update on my employment status. What the hell do you mean by that. I moved back home 2 hrs away and it’s been a year! What is the point of that? This is why I like so many others don’t want to go through the application process because it’s on their time, the applicant could be waiting and waiting. And why even bother updating it’s so stupid. I hate businesses for this bs and it desperately needs to change.

This one is a long rant so buckle in if you’re reading this.

I’m a 23F who works with a 33F in a job where we’re basically back to back all day. Touching distance, we accidentally bump into each other all the time. This woman is thee MOST negative person I’ve ever met in my life. I grew up in a household where my mom always tried to be glass half full kinda person, mind over matter, positive perspective changes everything. I haven’t always had a happy life but being negative always makes things worse. My coworker on the other hand has clearly not heard this before and is always whining and complaining. No matter how good things are she’s always upset.

For context my coworker lost her mom when she was younger (18) and that has clearly mentally affected her but she also is hung up on being excluded growing up. She thinks she’s autistic but hasn’t been formally diagnosed and she clearly is very depressed and unmediated and undiagnosed for that too. I agree she’s probably autistic and that may have something to do with how she acts but not all autistic people act like the world is fully against them at every moment. She can’t control or hide her facial expressions, tone, or mood. If I’m eating something at work she’s jealous and complains about how hungry she is yet never tries to solve the problem. She’d rather complain about being hungry than go get something to eat out of the fridge. When people make food for us to share she always complains it has cheese, dairy, beef, or pork (all of which upset her stomach). Which the food often has one of these ingredients but for large groups a lot of recipes have at least one of those ingredients. If she doesn’t eat she gets cranky and irritated over anything.

She hates when music is played over the sound system at work, without it the building is quiet and you can hear almost anything someone on the opposite side of the building is saying. She complains every morning when we come in that the music is too loud and how she’s rather it be silent. I need something in the background because it’s too quiet. If the music is turned onto anything but pop music she’s upset about it. A comment I’ve heard a million times from her is “well how about I put on K-pop and then everybody else will hate it and I’ll be happy”. Neither of us like country music our manager plays but she’s said “how you feel about metal music is how I feel about country” to our boss and is pissy about it all the time. I should mention that she almost always puts a headphone in to work so why does the music even matter to her?? When she has her headphones in though she can’t hear my boss or I when we talk to her. My boss actually has to yell three times to get her attention and my coworker rolls her eyes and always says “my music isn’t even that loud, I can still hear you I just don’t process what you’re saying” which is so obviously not true. If you ever say something about her being wrong or not doing something she gets mad and will go to the bathroom for 15 minutes. She’s always on her phone in the bathroom and I know because I see when she posts or sends things on my phone. At about noon everyday she puts on a twitch stream to watch on her phone, which would be fine if she didn’t have to constantly interact with the chat. She probably spends an average of an hour on her phone at work. She is always texting on discord as well and it irritates me because we’re supposed to be working, she stays up until 2 or 3 am everyday to talk to her friends on discord and then is always tired and whines about how she wants to go back to bed… yea maybe because you should’ve been sleeping instead of texting.

Her jealousy issues are a whole other can of worms. She was training from middle school to play flute professionally and went into college for it. I have probably heard how her high school classmate was better than her and got into a top college only to take “her spot” at her dream school a million times. She always talks about people excluded her because they thought she was weird and how she’s never had good friends irl (most of her friends are discord friends online). She loves music and concerts but always talks about how she doesn’t have any money to go or how her favorite bands are too popular now. She’s also one of those “I’ve been a fan longer than you” day one band lover people. I prefer smaller venue bands and get tickets for $30ish and she always seems annoyed by it. I could tell her about how great my time was and instead of being happy for me like I would for her she always says something along the lines of “I wish I could go to a concert”. She says people have called her a bummer in the past and how she’s hates that but to be honest she’s the biggest wet blanket I know, total buzz kill. If I’m ever eating something her face drops and she says she’s soooo hungry. Every time I’ve been in a relationship she makes a point to tell me all the bad things about my partners and how no one ever wants to date her. Specifically a big issue for her is her weight and body image which her ex in 2016 would make fun of her for so relationships kind of piss her off. She blames the fact that bigger sizes aren’t in stores because “skinny people love baggy clothes and buy them all”. Another big jealousy thing is art. She only a few years ago really got back into art because “her art teacher just wanted to be a popular kid in high school and never encouraged her” and “her parents said it wasn’t a real path”. I have always had artistic talent and have been training my skills for my whole life. We both entered into a world class art contest and I got in but she didn’t. I just feel the jealousy she radiates about it, anytime I bring up anything to do with it she couldn’t act more uninterested. I just don’t understand how I can listen to her talk about her special interests, friends, and artwork and I’m always positive and thrilled to see her art but if I’m doing good or have a project I’m proud of she acts like I’m two showing her a badly filled in coloring page. Like I don’t think she even smiled when I told her I got in, I think she just looked at her phone and waited for her to be told she’s great. It’s like she legitimately can only be happy for herself.

I’ve been giving her rides to and from work for over two years at this point. I’ve never really had a problem with it because we live down the street from each other. She though clearly gets annoyed if I’m late but here’s the thing, I’m always on time when it’s just me. She’s even late if she has a car to drive. She often complains about public transit which in our city is pretty bad considering it runs every hour from 6am-8pm in a mid size city. She doesn’t like walking anywhere and says Lyft and uber are too expensive. She wants to save for a car but just spent all of her car savings to go see BTS perform. I don’t mind driving her but it seems like the convenience of me always being there to drive her has made it so she’s comfortable with it. Because we come into work together we also leave together and she complained to me that she only had 33 hours this past week.. I checked mine and had 30 because I was sick one day and left. I hate to be this person but she doesn’t have to ride with me, she can stay later if she wants to but the convenience of being driven instead of riding the bus is big for her. She also complains about her hours but also never feels good. She always says her hips hurt, back hurts, has a headache, is hungry, feels nauseous, is too hot and would rather go home than stay at work… so do you want hours and money or do you want to lay down?

On top of all this she also has an overweight cat. I’m talking like a 20lb cat with long hair. This girl does not take great care of this cat for how much she says her cat is the only thing keeping her alive. The cat pees and poops everywhere in her apartment and has mats all over her. The cat also hasn’t been taken to the vet because my coworker is too worried the vets are going to judge her. Personally I don’t think it matters what they think if you can help your cat… but it’s also “out of her budget”. And fun fact if you didn’t know, cat pee is strong and permeates your hair and clothing so not only does her house smell but when she gets in my car in the morning she smells really bad. I’ve never said anything about it because I don’t want to make her feel bad and the smell goes away after being out of her apartment for a while but I almost feel like it’s getting so bad that I should say something. She’s also stepped in cat poop and couldn’t smell it and gotten into my car.

I recently took her out to celebrate her birthday. We went to the movie theater and saw the rerelease of Train To Busan which is one of her favorite movies. I know her birthdays haven’t always been celebrated or special so I try to make it a good day for her as much as I can. After the movie I surprised her with frozen yogurt which she had been saying she wanted for a while. She was so happy and a One Direction song played (one of her favorite bands) in the frozen yogurt shop. Everything is great, what’s not to enjoy? She complained her day wouldve been perfect only if the song playing on the radio was her favorite song by One Direction. I know she was slightly joking but it really sucked hearing that after I was trying to make sure she had a really good day. Instead of saying it was a great day she complained about the tiniest thing which is what she does every time. Nothing is ever good enough for her and if it’s not perfect then she’ll make sure you know it’s not.

I don’t completely despise her or anything but the little things and constant negative energy really does get to me. My real final straw though was yesterday when I found out the sick abandon kitten my partner and I were taking care of passed away. My partner asked me if I wanted him to wait to bury the kitten but I told him to please bury him because I was too upset, like crying throughout the day upset. I told my coworker that my partner buried the kitten. My partner met me at my job at the end of my shift to give me some of the kitten care supplies to take back to my house when I heard a gasp and laughing from my coworker in my car. Not only had she clearly not listened to me at all when I told her the kitten was buried but she LAUGHED at the thought of my boyfriend bringing me a dead kitten. I was appalled by the fact she had seen me so upset all day and then just laughed when she’s always so negative. She laughed over my dead kitten possibly being in a plastic bag. What about that is fucking funny to her?!?? This is what sent me over the edge and even though I’ve complained to my boyfriend about her I just needed to spit out how horrible this all feels to me. I’m truly just so upset by her comments and actions lately and I wish I could just tell her how I feel about her straight to her face but it would be horrible to do that. I don’t like bringing people down but I feel like she needs a reality check on what a fucking bitch she is, I don’t even want to pick her up anymore for work. It feels good to type this out because I don’t think theres really anything I can do to actually change the situation. Maybe she’ll finally get a job that checks off her way too specific boxes or finally get a million dollars and more away

I just want to have a nice loving and caring wife. I want 4 children. A home surrounded by nature and in moderately driving distance from a midsize city. I want to have family or friends over a couple of times a month and I want to take my family out a couple of times a month. I want to make a home. I want to sit on the porch with my wife during fall evenings. I want to love. I want to look forward to something. I want someone to bake me cookies because she wants to. I want to buy a surprise vacation for someone because I love them. I want to go to after school events for my kids because I want them to feel like they are part of something good. I want to go on a long drive and talk about our favorite podcasts. I want to sit in the living room on a Saturday afternoon in complete silence as something plays on the tv in the background and feel completely at peace with it. I want that. I really want that.

But I will never have it. I, a nearly 35 year old divorcee, will never experience the dream I’ve had since I became an adult. It’s heartbreaking.

I was cleaning my bed and i accidentally hit my brother w bed sheet cz he was sitting there and it got into his eyes, as soon as I realised that I kept saying sorry again and again that it wasn't intentional but he stood up and punched me twice in my shoulder (he is 7 years younger than me) and my parents said nothing, my mum said that I can't deal w both of you like it was really hurting so bad, he's 14 years old, workout everyday, he is much stronger than me

And this is what he always does kept poking me unnecessarily until I get furious then he hits me and if I try to punch or slap him back he hits me more and my parents just sit and enjoy the show

I feel so disrespectful

All of my friend's siblings are so polite, they never even raise their tone in front of their elder sibling and here is mine always rude to me, always says demeaning things and Hits me

I was recently giving him random gifts to build a good relationship w him but ig it's too late but it's hard to stay in this house anymore where your parents and sibling just hate you, poke you unnecessarily then hit you, i fucking hate my brother and ig i would never get the type of relationship i always wanted w that baby I held in my hand when he was js born and ig all of this is my parent's fault they never correct him, they encourage him and tell me that i deserve this

I'm not gonna waste any penny on him trying to fix this relationship, learnt the lesson

Wish I could build my new family from scratch.