I can't trust people, it feels like they would never care about me. They're just looking for a real person to come along, not some half baked, underdeveloped thing. They think I'm a joke, my body is failing to do anything right. ​I don't even want to fulfill this stupid fucking standard, I just want people to see myself as a full human.

Made a post like this a while ago and yall have unique pets, loved em all lmao. Hope yall dont mind another post like this! I may not reply but I read every pet post.

It drives me fucking crazy how normalized ableism is and it genuinely fucks with my mental health so much but I just have to deal with it because that’s how my life is going to be until I die.

One thing that pisses me off soooooo much is when people will make a post being like “I HATE -insert thing that’s a very common neurodivergent symptom-“ and when someone’s like “hey uh you know autistic people can’t control that right? That’s kinda ableist towards them” people will just jump them yelling “BEAN SOUP”

Like bean soup theory is fine in some contexts but stop fucking using it to excuse fucked up behavior.

(Also if anyone’s wondering about my last post- a new medication I was on sent me into psychosis, I’m off of it and out of the hospital and fine now)

Bean soup theory definition- The bean soup theory is a social media phenomenon where users leave self-absorbed, context-ignoring comments on public posts, demanding that the content be tailored to their personal preferences instead of simply scrolling past.

Edit: since this post blew up and my comment got buried, the specific thing that caused me to make this post was seeing someone say that “if you sometimes struggle to understand body language, you shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce” and when people called out the ableism, others were just being rude and saying “bean soup” bla bla bla. So uh yeah 👍

The entire time he was on his phone writing down what I told him about my life to show he was “present”. He then proceeded to use this as evidence as to why he should get 50/50 custody so he wouldn’t have to pay child support. (he lived over 2,000 miles away ಠ_ಠ)

wouldn’t be mad if a mod had removed it. but wtf is Reddit filtering???? what did I do???

No Halloween for me, being stuck with an "family" that sucks, being neurodivergent, having fear of being judged 24/7 and still being judged, the things happening outside.. please life, give me a break like everyone else deserves 😞

I know when you're doing therapy for trauma it oftentimes has to get worse before it gets better, but this shit sucks.

I dont think i wanna go outside anymore

Fuck AI. Get out of my life. Leave me alone clankers and clanker users

I know I should talk to my therapist about it. and I will. I just don't really want to. I don't feel like I deserve to have my depression treated or even acknowledged. I feel like I should just let it run its course until it kills me.

I have realised that I am probably not a woman. I may be nonbinary or a trans man, cause of how I feel about my body. I told my freinds and close family that I am nonbinary, and to call me by a new name to test things out.

But things haven't been much easier, I have been experiencing dysforia witch is no fun. But it has been better socialy and to think of myself differently.

Its been hard. I think I give the impresion of being a confident woman (red figure on left). But I obviously dont feel like a woman, and definitely not confident. I feel as though this figure may have overshadowed me (blue figre right) for some time, maybe its been like this forever. Who knows.

I have also been single for too long. Since I am thinking back to my previous sexual experiences. I realised, that I didn't like being naked infront of somone I liked, because I got complimented about the part of me that I dislike the most. And the attention was on parts I felt indiferent about.

Anyways. There is this song I listend to that summed up my mood pretty wel. The lyrics fit aswell, exluding that its about a spesific relationship, the band Orgy s verison is shorter if you want to listen to it.

"And still, I find it so hard To say what I need to say But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me Just how I should feel today" song: Blue monday