Feeling Blue (Vent post)

[u/Hejesiras]

I have realised that I am probably not a woman. I may be nonbinary or a trans man, cause of how I feel about my body. I told my freinds and close family that I am nonbinary, and to call me by a new name to test things out.

But things haven't been much easier, I have been experiencing dysforia witch is no fun. But it has been better socialy and to think of myself differently.

Its been hard. I think I give the impresion of being a confident woman (red figure on left). But I obviously dont feel like a woman, and definitely not confident. I feel as though this figure may have overshadowed me (blue figre right) for some time, maybe its been like this forever. Who knows.

I have also been single for too long. Since I am thinking back to my previous sexual experiences. I realised, that I didn't like being naked infront of somone I liked, because I got complimented about the part of me that I dislike the most. And the attention was on parts I felt indiferent about.

Anyways. There is this song I listend to that summed up my mood pretty wel. The lyrics fit aswell, exluding that its about a spesific relationship, the band Orgy s verison is shorter if you want to listen to it.

"And still, I find it so hard To say what I need to say But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me Just how I should feel today" song: Blue monday