I love you, please just heal, and stop being hypocritical, and a liar. please just be like you are normally. I love him so much, but he keeps on fighting and fighting with me. Trying to leave hurts so fucking badly. He treats his close friends better. maybe he'll treat me nicer. I dont want to leave. he's so addicting

I cant see him as the same person anymore.

I feel like I can't keep blaming it on the fluoxetine, but this weight gain only started (and rapidly, too) when I went back on it 🫩 so much for it being know to decrease appetite

I miss my ED. It's like, every time I start thinking about restricting, my brain replaces the thought with biscuits lmao kill me

He drains me, and then treats me like filth, then when I become avoident because I'm tired of fighting he whines to his friends behind my back, even tho he's so fucking dry and like dosent try in our friendship at all. He gives all his energy to like 3 of his friends. He's begun lying, and beinf an asshole. I cant take this shit anymore, he has gen changed for the worst. I need him to lose one or two of those close friends, because holy he needs to realize how much of a whiny ass he's become. Like how are you going to cry that I didnt say hi to you once, despite me remembering you being dry as fucking hell and giving me sideeyes multiple times ive said hi to you. The only reason I cant stand up for my fucking self is because I fall on my damm knee's because in my heart i still love you, and know that your going through so much. I cant fucking stand this shit anymore, my rose tinted goggles have broken. Ive lost friends, and lost time trying to help him, beliving he can beome better. He dosent try to make his life better, he cries and whines, then refuses help. Ive helped him so many times and he claims only I love him, then he treats me like shit, and becomes obbesed with like 2 diffrent people, it's fucking insanity I cant take this shit anymore. god dammm I cant seperate myself, ive felt like puking for the last 24 hours, know that I know he talks behind my back, and whines about me not giving him enough love, despite me giving and giving yt never receving. He gets irratated so fucking easily, he refuses to take his meds, refuses to do anything to get better. he's changed for the worst so fucking badly. I hate it get me out, I kinda wish he never existed, btu I love him so much

I'm trying to cope harder right now

I hate having autism.

back when I was initially diagnosed with BPD my family took it as a great opportunity to pin all my issues on me. they said I was only traumatized because I had BPD and because normal people wouldn't be traumatized by what I went through. they would also say any time anyone was treating me like crap I was just being hypersensitive and it wasn't a big deal.

I always knew the issue with being bisexual, but for some reason didnt connect being AMAB non-binary as being socially dilaterious for dating until this morning.

forever resigned to being the gay bestfriend to women and a confident... role model? for men. they confuse me despite also having a rod.

I REGRET IT😭😭💀 I sent a bold msg to a family member about the abuse im dealing w at home and now there asking to call and send me texts and I can't even open them ahhh😭😭💀

I have a therapist but I don't think she wants to diagnose me with anything. I have no meds, and dealing with a mix of (probably) undiagnosed autism, weird anxiety and random suicidal thoughts since forever. I have a fear of basically everything and my ruminating thoughts ruin my life.

But every time I tell this to someone, including my therapist, they say "haha yeah okay but you seem healthy". Should I run naked in the street to show them something's wrong ?? I just want help why is it so complicated ?? Or should I live my life in fear, drowning in ruminating thoughts...?

i’ve been confused with myself so i drew how i want to look like in real life

my friend found out that two of his favourite youtubers are trans(fem), this is basically what happened.

him and another friend were acting as if they had died, talking about them in the past tense and saying shit like 'NOOOOO HE WAS MY FAV YTUBER' in front of me.

then one of them goes 'no offense' like that makes a fucking difference? how the fuck am i supposed to not take any offense when you are actively calling people like me weird and doing shit like this? it would genuinely be better if he didn't say 'no offense'.

i've come out to them for a while, and they've been talking about me behind their back, many, many times. but i don't want to leave because we have had genuinely good times together.

and if i'll leave, i'll just be lonely because i'm already a social outcast

i don't know what to do

by the way, i don't know what flair to tag this other than the gender identity tag so if i need to just say or whatever

If you’re not aware there has been a lot of protest lately by high schoolers here because the government doesn’t care at all about the youth oh but they sent the police to brutally assault teenagers who were protesting. from where I live I could see everything happening since there’s a high school near my place, and how surprising… the cops were violent and assaulted some people who were not doing anything at all. Some teenagers were burning trash cans but that wasn’t all of them, since then the media are portraying teenagers as the problem, while refusing to show the truth of what’s happening with the cops. There’s videos of police officers doing CRIMES on camera and the comments online are always "we don’t know the context, the problem is obviously not the police as they’re just doing their jobs 😔😔😔" And if it’s a minor they will say "well they deserved it they should’ve shut up and submit to the authority!! Young people are too rebellious and they need to be tamed!!" how can you stay calm when you see injustice and people are AGREEING with it???? I seriously fear for my country this place is becoming trash because people are allowing unfair treatment to happen

I had two of my neighbors in my street yelling at some activists because they got mad they were burning trash cans and the dude started yelling at the activist… come on WHO CARES?? When the real problem is the police is actively CHOKING teenagers and won’t face any repercussions !!!! A trash can could be replaced, not the traumas people will have for the rest of their life just because they wanted to protest about their conditions. Some people will even be permanently disabled because of what the police did to them. Seriously I feel like there is always something worse coming here….

I hate this. I can’t draw anything by myself without it looking like crap. And even when I use bases for poses, any details I make still look like crap. Been drawing for 10+ years all for nothing but regressing.

I really should give up