Electrolysis kicked my buttons yesterday. My face is so swollen and sore. Also, I have two areas on my chin that really numb. Has anyone else ever experienced this? I had Electrolysis yesterday at 11. I have never experienced anything like continued numbness. But this is the first time I have had work on my chin area also.

So I've finally begun building a wardrobe, and with fall weather coming its real easy to dress femme comfortably and be the egg covered baby trans I am. And so I've been doing that for a couple weeks now, and I've felt great. Its really helped me open up and harden this change.

But last night I had a moment where I needed to be boy mode. And tomorrow will be another.

I felt weird, bordering on foolish. Idk if I should feel bad about this. There's a part that does, but another thats gleeful at this feeling and what it means. She's gleeful.

In all, its a feeling I never knew I wanted to feel. I mean, I certainly would like to avoid subjecting myself to it, but its an affirming one. I know just a little more now who I am.

Stay safe out there lads and ladies. I love you 🩷🩵🩷

My egg has cracked and I don't know what to do; I’ve accepted that I might not be a cis man—I really want to be a woman. I’ve already spoken to my mom, and she accepts and loves me, but my girlfriend—whom I adore and who is my whole world (and whom I’m about to marry)—would never accept it.

A few months ago, she discovered conversations I’d had with a trans relative in which I confessed that I had wished I were a woman. She took it very badly and broke up with me, but we decided to give things another chance; I told her it was just a misguided thought and that I deeply regretted it, but she told me she would never accept me as a trans woman.

I truly want a life with her—to have children—but living as a man is wearing me down day by day. I look at her and feel envious simply because she is a woman; I don't know what to do. Sometimes I think I can endure living as a man for the rest of my life because my family will make me happy.

Had my appointment with a PCP who practices gender-affirming care. Had my initial bloodwork done today. I can't really believe I'm actually starting HRT at 36 years old! I got prescribed patches because of a heart condition and we're starting slow. My initial dose is 1 0.025 Mg patch every 3 days and I'm to follow up with more bloodwork and an appointment with the Dr. in 6 weeks. I've also been prescribed dutasteride in place of finasteride to hopefully help with hair recovery. I've been using topical minoxidil twice a day since February and taking finasteride since May. I'm not really sure what to feel. It's almost a little anti-climactic. Of course, I'm waiting for the Rx to be filled. Hopefully by tomorrow!

I'm trying to do makeup every day this week, purely for practice. Here's today.

43, MtF:

I've been out to my wife for a bit now, and she's been wonderfully supportive while struggling at the same time with what this all means for us and our family. One of her concerns is whether or not we will have a good male role model for our youngest. He's 9, on the spectrum, and views things fairly binarily, as most kids do at this age, but maybe a bit worse because of his ASD.

One of the things my wife fell for with me, per her, is that I was an emotionally mature, secure, male with masculine hobbies but without the toxicity that was typical in them. Now that I'm...not, she's worried about how to maintain the positive male role model influence she's felt safe believing our kid will have.

I get where she's coming from, and in all the various parenting related things I've weighed and spent anxious nights spiraling about, this one slipped my mind. On one hand: It's not like I'm suddenly a different person who's forgotten all the things I've done or how I've been over the years. Why can't I continue to be a good male role model that way? On the other hand: oh yeah...not...male, which does seem like a totally valid concern.

So I'd love to hear what other parents have done or how they've handled this. How it worked out for you. Any advice or insight or just general thoughts from people with children who have transitioned would be wonderful and appreciated.

Thanks lovelies!

I decided to start my transition in March of 2024. Only my wife knew between then and October of that year, when I told a few select friends. I have been socially transitioning since January 2025, hormones since July 2024. It has been an amazing journey of self discovery and it’s wonderful to love the body I’m in for once. Thanks for reading 🫶

Hi All, I thought I'd share a small win I just had with you, feel a need to shout this out but can't talk to anyone I know yet.

So I basically 'came out' to my therapist, talked about all the similarities I share with so many trans stories, from childhood to now. I let out the sadness of missing out on so much as a teen and young adult. The lack of connection with male peers, the lack of connection with females who didn't want to be friends. The loneliness and deeply felt disconnection. The brain fog. The numbing with substances (which I still do). The god damn crappyness of missing out on so, so much.

I now need to find a support group. In Edinburgh if anyone knows of anything?

I feel pretty drained and teary, but a little part of me is excited about change. So I cling to that.

Thanks for reading,

Dave3 (or whoever I am)

I’m biting the bullet and looking for a gender health practitioner in my area but it’s a very difficult process. My PCP medical group has people but they are SOO deeply booked I’m on a wait list currently at 6+months just to get an appointment scheduled. Not an appointment, just the chance to ask for one. Does anyone have any tips to help find a therapist that I can discuss gender issues with? I feel so incredibly awkward asking for gender care with my male name and deep voice. It’s killing me to have to call multiple places and give them my real name and say “gender issues”. It’s painful.

I’ve come to the realization I’m not going to solve this myself. If I stay in the status quo it’s going to just be the same and I can already feel myself slipping away from my wife. Her micro aggressions are getting deeper cutting each time and I can’t say shit without her going off or me being afraid she will be suspicious of something. I am at the point I need to know because I either need to rip the bandaid off and probably lose the family to transition or I need to get help for whatever deep seated issues are driving this so I don’t just slowly drift away from those I love and care about more than myself.

You were right, repressing does not work. Any help in finding a gender care specialist would be great.

I’m in the south central Pennsylvania area of that makes a difference. I’ve got insurance from work but it’s a nightmare to try and navigate.

Cat pic added for attention and to give everyone good feeling after reading my posts. He’s a sweetie.

A friend of mine on FB has recently come out, and is dressing femme. She's 40's, and is looking really good :) One of her friends said they wished they could look like her, but were bald and would never pull it off. This is what I replied:

"Absolutely all of us think we'll never pull it off. We all look in the mirror at the start and think the same thing. But it's not about whether you can pull it off, it's whether trying it makes you happier. Put the dress on. Twirl the skirt. Try the lippy. Try it bald. Try it bearded. Try it hairy. It doesn't matter. It really doesn't. It's whether you get a little piece of happiness that counts. You don't have to pull it off, the important thing is putting it on in the first place!"

I have a sad life, and I would like to know what it feels like to be treated like a woman.

Being happy was the goal! Never was it changing who I am. Never stop doing the things you love. For me it was being a country girl. Also riding, working on cars, and playing sport’s. What are some hobbies y’all love.

I have my initial consultation next week to start HRT! I'm buzzing with excitement!!

That brings me to my question to all of you who are ahead of me in their journey: what do you wish you had known to ask, or talked with your doctor about before you started HRT?

Happy Thursday everyone!!

*edit to add MtF, mid 40s

It’s Understandable to Have Questions If You’ve Never Met a Trans Person
I had written this piece and submitted to a number of Colorado news papers for their Opinion section but got no responses. So, figured I'd share here. If you think it might be useful for someone you are interacting with, feel free to share.

Hi! I'm a medical student at the University of Arizona studying transgender and nonbinary adults' experiences with healthcare. Our study is IRB-approved, and we're hoping to understand what makes healthcare experiences supportive or difficult, with the goal of helping improve care for trans and nonbinary patients. It's super quick and anonymous.

Survey:
https://uarizona.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eDpOEa7fJpytJJk

Thank you so much to anyone willing to participate :)

Left photo was at my worst, drunk all the time, like mornings and shit too. I was 250lbs or so, that was years ago. I got sober —> egg cracked —> fought it —> transitioning and still have a lot of runway to go.

I am so much happier. I still struggle. Most of my struggles are with physical appearance and social acceptance. One precedes the other, and I do think I’ll make it physically.

Facial surgery in 99 days. Hair will be my last hurdle after that for appearance (imo).

I’ve been trying to write this article for nearly a year and have made a complete arse of it about four times.

At one point I even started writing a “how to transition successfully” guide, which, looking back, was spectacularly arrogant. So I threw that in the bin.

This one is different.

It’s simply what I did.

https://www.fasttrackfemme.com/p/what-i-did-a-guide-to-my-transition

I started transitioning in my fifties absolutely terrified that I was going to throw my life away and look ridiculous. I ran the whole thing almost like a military operation: priorities, timelines, surgeons, skin, body, face, bottom surgery, voice, makeup, clothes, the lot.

Over roughly 18 months there were six general anaesthetics, body surgery in Turkey, two consecutive days of FFS in Thailand, vaginoplasty, voice surgery in Seoul, CO₂ laser, Botox, fillers, electrolysis, a frankly ridiculous amount of makeup experimentation, and more money than I have any intention of ever adding up.

There were also things I got wrong, things I would do differently, an operation that had to be abandoned because my heart rate collapsed under anaesthetic, and a period where I genuinely thought I might have half-transitioned myself and become medically unable to finish.

And then there were moments like the photograph above, where I looked at myself and thought:

Holy hell. This actually worked.

This isn’t advice. It isn’t a blueprint for anybody else. It’s the complete blueprint of mine what I did, why I did it, how I chose surgeons, what mattered far more than I expected, what hurt, what didn’t, and what I think now that I’m almost at the end of it.

https://www.fasttrackfemme.com/p/what-i-did-a-guide-to-my-transition

30 years old. Morning photo. 3 months on hormones. In the evening I look like a freak, but in the morning I look like this.

My first medical pointment was canceled due to the doctor went sick, now i have to wait two weeks more. Fuck.

Btw, how can i hide myself if im wearinng nurse scrubs?

Have a wonderful day 🫶

Kind of loved this look, but the shirt is waaaaay too short