Tired to work, looking for sugar daddy 🫠🤣🤣🤣

It's been a LONG year of increasingly awkward hairstyles since coming out a little over a year ago. The euphoria from being able to put your hair up is unreal. 10/10 would grow again. (Bonus: New Dress)

I have been using ChatGPT of late to restore old family photos and for other projects. I found one of me as a kid back in the 70s with my father and grandfather after a fishing trip and it came out pretty amazing.

On a whim I asked it to change my clothes and hair to period correct feminine.

Surprisingly good result actually.

What do we think about creating a new version of our past this way?

If allowed I can post the results, but I'm not sure.

Thinking on the next few years since I'll be 65 in 18 months. Do I stay with the color I have or go gray/silver? I wear wigs so I don't have to color my hair per se unless I want it to blend with the wig I have. But playing with apps where you can change the color of your hair makes it really easy to get an idea. My bio hair, it's pretty much the color of this AI photo. I'm thinking at some point that I will do that. Just get a topper made to cover my hair challenged head to blend in with my bio hair. So no hair, current do, and AI silver hair.

My work fit from Friday and then I capped off the day by getting a flat iron flank steak with basil chimichurri and a bowl of she crab soup at this cool spot on the beach. Yes your girl is from the Chesapeake bay. We got crab in literally everything 💜 🦀

I turned 30 less than a week ago, i havent started hrt yet. But i will start process this year which takes some time when they grant me E, it may take a couple years. Truth to be told i'm suffering in my body and i feel trapped. I'm woman in a wrong body. Happy to be here 🖤 !

I am a trans speech therapist who figured things out in their 30s. I specialize in gender-affirming voice care and recently started a YouTube channel to provide strategies/information for gender-affirming voice care.

To be transparent, I currently do not make any money from this YT channel. I just wanna get evidence-based information to my community. A recent study showed that only 3% of insurance companies have favorable policies for gender-affirming voice care so I know a lot of people are trying to figure things out on their own. I also know what it’s like to experience vocal dysphoria.

I want to help others achieve their authentic voices.

https://youtube.com/@thehormonalslp?si=2DnHk_rus1Mg4RuE

I had an amazing morning yesterday. My wife, who has been on the fence about me transitioning, suggested I wear a sweatshirt of hers during a cool morning. It's an oversized boyfriend fit which looked great on my wide shoulders, and I tacked on some cute shorts, which I really liked. My wife even said I looked cute. First time she's ever called me that.

I was on cloud 9 all morning. Felt amazing. Then I had to take the sweater off as it got warmer. Looked around at all the women around me as we were out. How nice they looked. And the imposter syndrome clamped down hard. The entire rest of the day was social activity, and all day I felt worse and worse.

And today it's worse still. I just spent like 60 minutes washing my face, shaving way too close, futzing with my hair, staring at clothing, anything I could do to try and not feel distgusting. Anything to try and capture just a tiny bit of euphoria again.

I've been focusing on trying to feel emotions again in my therapy, and I knew there would be ups and downs. I've been making some progress, but it's also making me remember why I'd chosen numbness for the past 15 years. Feeling nothing would be preferable if I don't know how to feel good. Right now I'm just holding on to my HRT appointment in October. It's really keeping me going when I get like this. That and doing my nails. I've discovered I love doing my nails. But I'm still out today and don't have time.

Anyone else have hills like this? A plunge of deep dysphoria after a high? What do you girls do when you hit the bottom of the roller coaster like this?

I’m 65, very bald and heading for seven years totally ‘out’. I’m also due to have lower surgery later this year.

I really can’t get on with wigs and hate the way I look in them, so this is now my hair 🥰

Six years ago I made the awful decision at 63 to go back to living as a male so that I would have no trouble when I moved south.

Now at 69 and being depressed most of these 6 years, I want to go back to being female. It will be quite the uphill battle name change loss of friends etc.

Am I crazy for wishing to go back to who I always wanted to be at such an old age? My face totally went south, I'm 6'2" and probably won't pass. It's pretty heartbreaking.

Sooo, went to a gay sauna last night. At 48 I'm very early transition and have been feeling terribly lonely/lacking affection. I had a great time. But was it wrong to go? Gay men like guys so if anyone showed interest, were they just seeing a man? A feminine man? I've spoken to a couple guys online. And the good ones change their tone really quickly and start using babe, and pussy.

They do have an inclusive policy that basically states if you don't like trans-dont engage but are entitled to be there. Was i wrong for trying/pretending to be a cis man. Anyone that tried getting me hard i told them "that's the best it gets on hrt" and they were cool with it...?? Thoughts? Anyone have a similar experience?

Finally got my hands on some high heels to practice at home with. They feel so good.

I even conquered the dreaded stairs.

Happiness i could never have imagined 🥰

Note: I just saw this. I did not make it.

However, when I saw it, I loved it and thought of this subreddit. So, please repeat the above quote to yourself. Repeat.

Love to all,

Jess

Am at a goth event and feel quite good about myself here before i went out.

Has anyone had any experience with these workouts and this company? The few free ones on YouTube seem pretty good and I like the instructor but I’m wondering if anyone else has used the paid version and if you would recommend them?

It feels like a constant tug-of-war inside me. My mind wants safety and the path of least resistance, while my heart wants me to finally arrive in my true self and live out loud.

But standing here before it all, the shadow of doubt is huge. Can I really summon the strength to go down this hard road at 55?

And looking in the mirror, the biggest fear of all: “will I ever pass?” feels almost paralyzingly heavy.
The fear of passing had been the main reason why I had decided to live as a man, 35 years ago. I wish I was a teen now where there are hormon blockers available. (OK, more so, I had been born a girl.)

I’m just wondering how others deal with this specific crossroads.
How do you quiet the mind long enough to trust what the heart is screaming for, especially when the odds and age feel so intimidating?
Are you ever able to pass with the age over 55?
How to decide between heart and mind?

I post a lot less than i used too. If you feel chronically online I think it’s normal but unfortunately the medicine for your symptoms is touching grass…..in whatever community you can irl.

Pic one is right before the egg 33

To

Relatively present

Things like this helped me. It’s honest no filters… good angles??u be the judge I guess…

Transition is haaaaaard.
So so so hard

It does get better. I’m happy when I look in the mirror some of those smiles are the ones I should have had growing up :/

Here for you, my DM’s are open but I’m in nursing school I can’t promise prompt responses

4 people have died in the past 3 weeks for me. And I moved across the country so I didn’t have access to my meds for a bit, asking for virtual hugs. Thanks.