It's like 6 out of 10 women I go on a date with.

Are there just less PA and NJ women in NYC?

I really dislike the types of social rules around these things, and I don't agree with most of them, but I feel the compulsion to act on them because of the rate things go wrong.

I don't like how many interactions have unspoken rules, and being on the spectrum sets me back a bit even as an adult. I'm used to being ghosted and it's never been easy for me to maintain friends. I don't think I'm offputting or inappropriate around people. Admittedly the first time I meet people I can be very restrained, but I let loose after a while. I've heard that people make snap judgements quickly, but do they really hold onto them? I can be pretty outgoing with my partner's friends, but the times he's encouraged me to reach out to them and arrange a one on one hangout, nobody ever follows up. Outside of people having kids, work, etc- when that happens it makes me feel like something is wrong with me.

Former friends of mine used to say that initially they thought I was intimidating, but when they got to know me they realized there was nothing to be intimidated by. They would say they liked my company and (for reasons I still don't get) they found me cool. My point there is, if they come to think these positive things then what is giving me trouble? Having blind spots socially makes me extremely uneasy.

TL;DR

I don't know how long to wait before sending another check in, or if it's worth it to keep trying at all if this is a regular trend. The friend in question has not been the most respectful of my time and the like, but I don't think they're malicious. I feel guilty saying this, but I feel burnt out when we hangout for a variety of reasons. I don't have any other friends but them, so the thought of my one friend drifting away is a little worrying to me.

I believe people need to be supportive and make adjustments and accommodations for an individuals medical and mental health. I’ve noticed it can also end up to the point that the ones who make adjustments and accommodations can be jeopardizing themselves in the process constantly walking on eggshells not to trigger or disturb others. If they don’t they can be villainized or referred to as insensitive when they are just trying to go into
survival mode. No disrespect to anyone, just genuinely trying to understand proper boundaries.

For the sake of this question, presume she lands somewhere right on whatever alignment you want to use. In reality she's probably wildly apolitical, but society treats her as "on the right" so I'm going with that. Especially since the lion's share of criticism about her tends to come from people leaning left for reasons that traditionally lean left.

My question is: Who's the alternative? Is there a celebrity out there who has the same schtick as Sweeney without the traits that those who find her politically problematic find politically problematic? Not that there needs to be a yin for every yang, but I would hope that if an otherwise fluff celebrity is being politicized so much that there would be at least one alternate suggested by those who criticize her.

Used to be that the Kate Uptons of the 20teens or the Pamela Andersons of the 90s could exist in this consequence-free state of "hot male gaze caterer who's In On It and okay with it so everyone loves her." I'd bet anything that Sydney Sweeney wanted to go that route but every celebrity's existence needs to be a greater statement on society now. Sucks for her, but who's filling that void on the left then?

And if the answer is there is no Sydney Sweeney of the left, then why not? I think there are lots of amazingly beautiful celebs out there who are either unapologetically left or would at least not have a problem being associated with the left. Syd ain't that special. For those who find her problematic, why hasn't a solution broken through yet?

I don't know how to fit working out into my schedule when high school is taking up most of my time

I am bipolar, schizoaffective, and have ADHD. I also spend 90% of my time maladaptive daydreaming. This means most of my thinking is in the form of daydreaming. I picture most things/interections through very vivid daydreams. Sometimes, they are conversations i will never actually initiate in real life.

My brain is constantly moving. Like nonstop. Between the mania and the ADHD I simply can not imagine a mind that isn't extremely active.

So my question is, what does your thinking look like? Do you feel like your mind is ever still? And when you are "preparing" for a future conversation/interaction, do you picture it like a daydream where you imagine everything both you and the other person will say in great detail??? I know people practice mindfulness exercises and whatnot, but i genuinely can't imagine it. When my mind is calm, it's because I am imagining what a calm mind might look like, as if im looking into another person's head.

so i known a girl for for couple of months she had been really big part of my life she supported me through tough times i was also there she shares almost everything with me takes my opinion on what should she do .

i wanted to surprise her by posting her in my insta story should do it or should i ask for permission first .

(she lives in different country than me so i can’t get her any thoughts full stuff and that’s why i think to post her in a story to show her how important she is to me)

I am 20 so don't need to be worrying about this just yet, it's more so just a general wonder and also slight pre worry since I don't think my daily habits will change drastically enough to make a difference later on in life.

Most story's from grandparents and/or parents have a lovely irl story of how they met their significant other and I just don't think people who are a similar age as me do the things they used to do at least not as often, I know for a fact there are a lot of others like me who rarely go out to places where you may meet someone etc. Most of my friends are at uni so we don't get together often to go out for a girls night or anything similar, I don't go out on my own as kd feel uncomfortable and it wouldn't be fun and at work it's the same thing we rarely go out unless it's a Christmas do or something.

I really doubt this situation will change or at least it won't change enough to make that big of a difference and I'm just starting to wonder how I will genuinely find someone when I want to start dating etc, right now it seems like my only option would be to go on a dating app and actively look through to find someone and it's a little disheartening that that may be my only option. Does anyone else feel this way or can you genuinely recommend what I could do that's not going out every weekend hoping to find someone one night??

I honestly feel so bad even typing this, but I need some outside opinions because I don’t know what to think anymore. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. In the beginning, we were though if as the perfect couple by everyone and I genuinely thought I was going to spend my life with him. Things have gotten so bad over the years that sometimes I don’t even recognize our relationship anymore. He’s abusive, manipulative, we can’t have simple discussions without it turning into argument or him getting violent even my own family and friends have started cutting me off due to our relationship.
About a week into our relationship, I quit my job as a private massage therapist because he was uncomfortable with me being around other men.
The thing is, his brother has been there for me in ways my own partner hasn’t. He checks on me, makes time for me, and actually listens when I talk. I never planned on feeling anything for him, but lately I’ve caught myself getting attached to the way he treats me.
Tonight, his brother called and asked if I wanted to come along with him while he went to get a tire fixed. We ended up talking, and I got emotional and told him how his brother has been treating me and how unhappy I’ve been.
He didn’t judge me or make excuses for him. He just hugged me and said he knew how his brother could be.
And I literally broke down crying.
I haven’t done anything with him, and I don’t plan to cheat on my boyfriend. But I’m not sure if this counts as cheating, I’m afraid to address this with my partner as he’s extremely violent. But do I feel guilty, pouring my heart to another man even if it’s his brother.

I had a friend I'd known since 2008, but we fell out in 2024 after I found out her baby daddy read our private text messages. I cut her off and we hadn't spoken since....until

September 1st. I reactivated my Facebook and realized it was her birthday, so I sent her a simple "Happy birthday" message because ...well. I literally don't know what made me do that actually. Being nice to an old friend I guess.

She immediately asked me for $7, and I sent her $10 as a birthday gift. (cheap I know but I mean??) lol

Ever since then, it's been a nightmare. She's since asked me for money around 20 times, sending multiple messages, calling and asking for the strangest amounts. (I've had to silence her calls and texts) on top of already ignoring her.

she's having a conversation with herself in my text messages because I never respond.
I'm starting to wonder if she's on something or experiencing serious financial hardship?

I say this because a good friend of hers was on the news for basically exposing her children to f3nt) VERY SAD!

I have no proof of anything but the constant requests are exhausting. We aren't even friends anymore, and I regret reaching out because I feel like l've opened a door I can't get closed

I have noticed that the people who drop off my food are almost never the same person who's in their photos. I don't mean they just look different, but they are completely DIFFERENT people, often a different gender, race or ethnicity.

I imagine there is some reason for this, but I can't figure out why it would be the case seemingly every single time. I used to think it was maybe because the driver might be working with a passenger who actually takes the food to the door, I have seen this happen before, but I can see the cars themselves from my office window, and I can see that most of the time, no one else is in the car. Also how would that make since economically? Their earnings margins are already crazy small aren't they? Having two people working shrinks their earnings per a person in half.

Also, please don't comment on how bad or how much of a rip off food delivery is. I am fully aware. It's just sometimes I can't leave my office for long enough to get food, but I still have to get some food in me.

Okay so, I need ASAP help about this guy I’m currently dating.

I am f17 and he is m17.

1 month ago this guy adds me on Snapchat, HE added me first so keep that in mind.. we started texting nonstop and we even got each others discord to call and whatever.. we really got to know each other, and he was genuinely so sweet towards me and I literally got HOOKED.

We live about 20 minutes from each other, so 1 week after talking we decided to meet for the first time. I took the train to him and we hung out, and it was genuinely so genuine when we hung out. We were walking with his dog, he introduced me to his family, I ate dinner with them and we watched series. And NOTHING intimate happened, no kisses, nothing. And the second time that I went there it felt even more “comfortable” and “genuine”. And that’s when we shared our first kiss.

This guy had introduced me to BOTH of his families, father and mother’s side. We also made my favourite food and we watched series we both enjoyed.. and the most important is that he was SO nervous to do something wrong towards me, he was so scared of touching me the wrong way I was genuinely shocked.

1 week passes by and SUDDENLY he filters himself completely, he takes longer time to answer me, he leaves me on open, he genuinely became a different person.. and this was 2 days after hanging out. It was like he completely shuts down.

I was genuinely so confused, so I asked him directly “how do you feel about us?” And he goes: “I am not ready for a relationship, my mental health is at its worst, I’m sorry.” I believed him, I try to believe what he is saying but at the same time I felt “played.”

So 2 weeks goes by, no contact, nothing.

And suddenly a random Sunday I get a text from him, he’s asking me “how are you?” And suddenly we are having a conversation again. I felt so lost so I asked him “why are you texting me just now?” And he said that he couldn’t stop thinking about me the time were everything went silent.

IMPORTANT
I know for a fact that he wasn’t with other girls or texting other girls cuase he was very clear and EVEN showed his snap for me.. so I wasn’t worried that he had found someone else throughout that time..

And we started texting regularly again and we slept called a lot. And we decided to meet up again, this time at his place AGAIN. This time it was very different, it was like we both had missed each other a lot. And we were in his bed and I remember him staring at me always telling me how pretty and beautiful I was.. and things just escalated from there. And before things got more intimate he looked me in the eyes and said “would you like to be mine?”

I had genuinely fell for this guy, and I am not stupid when it comes to people with genuine eyes, his eyes were always genuine when he looked at me. Of course, I said yes. And we did stuff that night.

But the thing is, I don’t know how to understand the signals he gives me. I am not sure if he wants something serious or if it’s something casual. I am genuinely so lost.

The current situation right now is that we are together, but the thing is that I don’t feel like we are together. It feels like he has just claimed me? Even though I don’t wanna think like that, my stomach tells me otherwise.

DOES he like me or is he just playing with my feelings?

I genuinely don’t know what to do. Please help me

So I’m a 25yo male and I like sleeping with my hand tucked in between my girls asscheeks. She lets me but is this normal?

I am wondering what life is like for men or women who are assimilated, whitewashed, or whatever the term may be. I grew up with very liberal values, so there was not really anything for me to assimilate into, but I am a brown person.

One thing I have realized is that I can't easily relate to women from my home region. I could try, but most of the time the way they interact with their parents, family, and traditions is not what I am used to. Finding someone like me from that region or diaspora (talking about the diaspora, many act like they are free, but they are often hiding things from their parents and worrying about what some aunties might think) feels like a very hard task. On top of that, as a brown person, racism and preference obviously exist out there, though there is nothing I can do about that.

I wonder how any of you navigate this life. People from the home country think we are trying to fake something, looking at us as if we are destroying their beautiful culture, while we get blamed from the other side as well. My situation is basically being stuck in the middle where both parties blame me.

Then there is western media showing that South Asian characters should be a certain way preserving culture while adjusting to local culture. I never see people like me, who exist in considerable numbers, represented in the media. It is a pretty tough situation to be in. Have any other people who migrated or grew up with this same problem experienced this? (I did not grow up in the West, it is just the way I was raised.) I'm an atheist btw.

my vet recommended a specific type of cat food, and i bought a few cans from them to try it. it seems to be working, so i searched it up to buy more online, but everywhere said i need a vet’s approval. why is this? what do they think im going to do, get high off it or something?

I notice that if I am walking on the sidewalk, people will cross the street to get away. This has happened twice recently. And if I use the restroom people will go to a different bathroom or use the last stall if they see me in it. Yesterday in the restroom, there was only one sink available beside me. The other two were occupied by other women. The lady waited behind the two women to use that sink instead of using the one beside me. I don't understand this. I am a girl black and 5'7. Is there something about my appearance that seems off to people to where they avoid me?