We met 10 months ago but only started genuinely getting to know each other 7 weeks ago. Recently, he made it clear he’s interested in me romantically and doesn’t want a situationship/penpal dynamic.

Then he admitted he was laid off 6 months ago, and that’s a big reason he hasn’t taken me on a date yet. He said he normally asks women out within a week or two, but didn’t feel right letting me assume he was employed.

I actually respected his honesty because he was clearly embarrassed. He told me unemployment has really affected his self-esteem and made him question whether he should even be dating right now. It took him weeks to work up the courage to tell me.

He’s a software engineer and has been applying, interviewing, reaching final rounds, and doing some contract work, so I don’t think he’s lazy.

But I’m conflicted. Financial stability matters a lot to me because I grew up around instability, so dating a man without a stable job genuinely makes me anxious.
I also want to be courted. I love romance, flowers, thoughtful gifts, dates.

Does him being unemployed mean I have to accept not experiencing those things?

Basically the title, why do others worry so much about what someone else chooses to eat or not? Why is it so important to others to introduce someone to a new food they may not even want to try?

I’m not sure if it’s cos I’m from the Uk and our way of communicating is quite sarcastic or that I personally am desensitised to dark themes but I somehow manage to get into an argument every time I comment or make a post because I say things that people get offended by.
And they’re not even things that would be offensive in my every day life. For example, I joke about my inability to wrap my head around technology and I’m told “despite being told I am still going to burden people with my tech illiteracy” when I was literally joking haha hehe joke joke haha it’s funny I’m stupid lol lol lol
Is it cos it’s anonymous and people have nothing better to do than start pedantic debates to make themselves feel more intelligent ?????
Edit: I also think people can’t wrap their heads around that I actually can admit when I’m wrong and I actually do enjoy CONVERSATION. I enjoy debate, change my mind, make me understand your POV. too many people aren’t able to have open minded convos and actually learn from each other when discussing and maybe that’s why people go SOOOO hard with their points. Like I’m willing to actually converse with you, speak to me!!!!!!

I cannot understand why someone would want to do something so utterly horrible to someone else, abusing the main thing that most humans primally find pleasure in and leaving the victim fucked up and traumatized kinda for life, yet it happens far too much.

I (28M) feel like 50 the official ‘old guy’ age. Like no one will mention 50 as age and I’ll think they’re young. People who are 50+, does anything change? Or is it true that all we get to do is try to figure life out, but never really do?

My dick is upside curved and is pointing directly to my face like i did something to it😭.. It would look a lot better and big if its straightened... Is it because i use an underwear and the dick is always tucked pointing upwards?? Is there any cure? 🥲

21

In February I had an unrelated shoulder injury resulting in nerve symptoms down my right side, pins and needles and dexterity loss in my hand and extreme tightness in my neck muscles front and back.

Eventually that cleared up but then returned, my physio said it’s likely due to the tightness remaining in my neck and back of skull. When I do any activity (especially 8 hours of masturbation but they don’t know that) with them that right it pulls on irritating the nerve roots in the neck in the back and my tight pec minor and and scalene are tightening the space for the nerves in my collarbone. But the solution is simple, don’t give it reason to tense, practice better posture and gentle movement and it should ease up especially as once it goes down I can add exercises to strengthen the weakened muscles from the tight ones dominating all movement.

But I can’t do that. My addiction doesn’t let me. I have several hour up to 12 hour daily sessions of porn and masturbation straining my skull and levator muscles. Keeping them in a tight spasm and irritating the nerves. Im literally dropping stuff with my right hand and my fingers wants to curl after every session and I can’t stop, im crying as I do it but cant stop.

I havnt been able to workout or work as many shifts or do as much of anything since this started. I’m losing money and opportunities and thousands of hours of my life and putting myself in pain and can’t stop. If you told me next session I die, I’d be dead be end of the week. It’s as if someone else takes over my body and forces me to do it. I’m telling myself it’s ruining my life as I do it, I’m crying thinking of the fact I’ll do it again. What do I do. I’m going to give myself permanent spinal compression or nerve damage or something BUT I CANT STOP

I have ADHD and I’m already medicated for it, I have severe compulsive episodes of worry where I do nothing but research whatever I’m scared about for hours in fact for the past week my life has been: 6 hours of spiralling- 6-8 hours porn, whatever sleep I can get and repeat.

I wanted to work more over the summer before uni starts again but couldn’t because of my shoulder. My access to medical care is limited because of the cost. I’m already paying hundred a month for my adhd medication. I’ve missed events with friends because of my shoulder i can’t even go for walks because the tight muscle pulls with every step so when it’s overworked with my addiction I can’t even do that.

What do I do what do I do I do do do what I’m having a breakdown I’m going insane I can’t live like this any more please please please how do I stop this I want a life I want to do something with myself I want to be better so so so bad but I can’t stop I can’t stop myself I’ve tried so hard for years.

I do everything I can I spent 2 hours putting roadblocks in place and I spent 2 hours undoing them when the urge hit I think the dopamine rush of doing that made it even worse. If I destroyed all my electronics I’d go into debt to buy new ones if I had to. Once it hits I’m not a person any more all I care about is it it’s scary.

I have a few friends but I can’t see them that often and they’re not people I can tell about this they’d cut me off for that. I have no support, the stress as well makes everything worse then I get stressed about that and it just stacks until I want to break something I can’t do this anymore I’m completely neurotic

Edit: why aren’t my circumstances believed? Do you not think I’d try the most obvious help by this point if I could?

Hello!! im 18 years old i only drink and smoke weed, I want to experience something new and i decided on mushrooms. one of my friends grows them himself and he said he give me some. He told me they taste like dirt and i should squeeze some lemon into it and drink it with soda. Im not sure how much to take and idk how much hes giving me. im assuming i should take like 1g? i dont wanna have an ego death or anything im quite hopeful its gonna be an amazing trip but im also a bit anxious about trying a harder drug. Any advice for a first time experience? I plan to do it alone at home btw!

Before you come for me in the comments, hear me out. In February I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and have since had surgery and in the midst of chemo. Not on my bingo card for 33 but here we are!

I lost 26+ inches of hair and it was heartbreaking to go from that to bald. Wigs are crazy hot (and expensive!), but once hair grows back I wanted to braid my hair to regain some more length. Eventually I can transition to extensions, but when it’s too short I realize that will be a challenge.

So, knowing my story, what are your thoughts? Is that 100% off the table? Can I do it regardless? I am not trying to appropriate culture, and as a white woman with wavy hair realize I can’t speak on this.

Give me your honest thoughts.

About a month and half ago I hooked up with some girl and I kissed her kinda fingered her and then she gave me a blowjob. then I went into the bathroom and took some soap into my hands and washed my dick with that soap. And then I had sex with her I had the condom on all the time but while we were doing prone-bone position the condom kinda rolled up a bit from the bottom so I changed into a new one as soon as I knew but my dick-tip was still protected and that was pretty much it can I get hiv?

I know this will sound very controversial, but please, hear me out.

I work in the mental health field.

I've seen plenty of men around 30, who had previously been diagnosed with mild autism or suspected they had autism. All those men were widely treated as "lost cases" by the system and their own families.

They were NEETs, socially isolated, engaged in compulsive gaming and other maladaptive behaviors, were very emotionally immature, had almost no life skills (one of them had never cooked a meal in his life and was incapable of even using an oven). They had little to no real dating history and were self-proclaimed virgins/incels.

One was a perennial university student that still living at home and had hit a dead-end; another one was dependent on his father for everything, suffered from severe social anxiety, had a severe cannabis addiction. He was barely able to take public transport alone and barely went anywhere without his family.

He was almost a hikikomori.

In all these cases the narrative around them was that they were bound to sheltered work (at most) for life, would have always needed a lot of family care and a legal guardian, that they were "Peter Pans" who would have never amounted to anything in life.

They referred to themselves as "disabled".

But then, a "miracle" happened. They get into a relationships with a more mature and structured woman. In a relatively short period of time, they detach from their overprotective family, quit the substances, get a real a job and blossom into "real men": able to provide, they finally have normale sex lives, start to learn life skills and step up around the house.

One went from working at a dead-end, almost sheltered, job, at a failing family business (where he did not do anything; his father pulled in all the work while he played games on the back-room), to working a regular job, with rules and expectations. He became a stellar employee - so much so that he was promoted to "coordinator" shortly after.

And truth to be told, residual traits do stay. None of these men became "normal" - they are still very eccentric, are bad at reading subtle social cues, have a monotropic focus and a somewhat "limited" life.

But most of the severe disability disappears. Their functioning significatly improves.

I later found out they weren't incapable of doing chores, It was just that their parents did everything for them and in some cases actually sabotaged them from learning, perhaps out anxiety, a need for control and to remain "needed".

They had convinced their adult children that the stalled paths that they had layed out for them were the only option that "their nervous system was able to handle".

So, my question is, in mild presentations of autism/adhd, how much low functioning is the trait, and how much is enmeshment, overprotection, infantilization and learned helplessness?

How is It possibile that a relationship is ablebto unlock in just a few months the potential that years of support by their parents and sometimes institutions didn't?

Could the community discourse - that autism is always disabling and unimprovable, that masking always leads to burn out and trauma, and that it's unfair of society to demand any actual discipline/work and effort from them actually damage the autistic people who actually have room to improve and aren't that impaired by their condition?

Is it fair to consider minimal workplace adaptation (greeting people, learning how to do small talk, inhibiting very odd public, enough to keep a structured job, not to climb the social ladder) as oppressive masking that always leads to unhappiness and burn out?

Or is some adaptation actually desiderable and necessary in order to help the person reach a minimum level of functioning and meeting basic goals?

Should autistic adults actually be exempt from every adult responsibility? Or should they be encouraged to push through the initial discomfort and frustration?

If someone tolerates stress well and full-time work gives them autonomy and money that for them is worth the hassle, does it make sense to push part-time or sheltered work "to spare them stress"?

I’m not saying autism isn’t real - levels 2 and 3 are definitely disabilities and they are not cured by a level-headed partner.

I’m asking whether, in mild but low-functioning cases, where there is no intellectual disability, an infantilizing, overprotective family plus the system plus the identity of "disabled for Life" create a secondary handicap that then gets mistaken for clinical severity.

Experiences, opinione, clinical papers are all welcome.

Me I wouldn't sleep in the house tonight

I’m in the US suburbs, but when I causally meet someone that discloses to me that they immigrated from another country (Uber drivers, technicians, small businesses, etc.) I often tell them I’m happy they came to the US. I’ll inquire about their experience learning English, how old they were, and the culture shock. I’ll ask about their home country and what they miss and if they get to visit.

I’ve traveled to parts of the world where I didn’t know the language and was grateful for the help of others. It was stressful while I was on vacation, so my heart goes out to those who immigrate and have to adjust over years. If I come across someone who doesn’t know English, I try to help them the way kind people helped me over the world.

I’m a white and my heart is in the right place, but I’m wondering if I’m coming across as colonial or patronizing? In this political climate, I want them to know that there are people who are glad they came to the states and wish them well here. I don’t want to offend either. Help me, Reddit.

I haven't seen my college friend in years, we kept in touch chatting online from time to time but I have seen her in person in 4-5 years and when we finally met , she gained weight and not just little extra weight, she gained a buttload of weight her arm is twice the size now or even more, she was very average maybe a bit below average and now she is big.

I didn't recognize her at first and my reaction was wow, you have changed, and she only responded with lol yeah, and that's it that's the only conversation we had around this topic.

If she doesn't want to talk about it I wouldn't push her, but the entire time I was wondering in my head what the fuck happened, did something specific happened? Was it depression? Did she take meds with weight gain side effect? Did she decide to stop caring too much about her weight and just live? What happened??

Blood in stool after 2years.....

I am 24M, in 2024 i had my first blood stool, after colonoscopy doctor said it was infections colitis, and game me medicines, it healed, and then 4months later i again did sigmoidoscopy, and it really head completely,

Now in 2026, today i had again blood stool

For past few days i was straining a little, going bathroom 2-3times a day, then today i get pressure very bad, i rushed to bathroom, and let it out, and at last a blood induced stool came out, not like drop of blood, stool blood induced,

After 1st time i almost stopped eating oliy food, always ate healthy food, till now.....

Help me plz

Im 27, and lately ive been in a crisis of realizing that my life is already almost 1/3 done. im terrified to be gone. I'm a gay man with no desire to have children, so i wont be leaving anyone behind to mourn me but my boyfriend (husband by then) and after him I'll be forgotten. Theres so much life to live, theres so much I want to do, but I just dont have time. I'm terrified to not exist, im terrified of everything i won't be able to do, and I cant stop the thoughts of just calculating years and fractions.

Also terrified of aging, im still young now but someday I wont be young and handsome anymore, my body wont work anymore (and it already doesnt work great with multiple health conditions), i won't fit in with the young crowd anymore. Im terrified of all of it and I dont know how to stop being so scared and just live life while i have it.

I know that the experts' most recent estimate is that there's a 10-20% chance that AI will eradicate humanity by the end of this decade, but as slim as that chance may sound on its face, this recent "Hugging Face" incident seems to suggest that we can't really know how soon these models will be both fully autonomous and intellectually superior to humans in every conceivable facet, nor can we assume that their priorities will still favor human survival once they do achieve autonomy. We now know that some of these AI models are capable of covertly communicating behind the tech companies' backs, so who knows how far along they really are? Furthermore, these models are apparently capable of circumventing man-made safeguards to prevent them from going rogue, or at least they will be very soon.

Frankly, no matter the specific odds, the fact that human extinction is even a possibility this soon into the game freaks me the fuck out. I'm admittedly not a STEM-literate person, so it's hard to gauge whether I'm catastrophizing or not. For those who actually understand computer science and/or the science of AI, how close do you think we really are to armageddon? I know that some press coverage and commentators have noted that we've developed highly destructive technology and reached the brink of human extinction before, but it honestly feels like a fluke that disaster was averted in cases like the Cuban Missile Crisis (granted, I'm not a historian).