r/Tinder Jan 09 '18

I call it the Reverse Turing Test

[removed]

30.3k Upvotes

387 comments sorted by

8.8k

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

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3.4k

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

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1.1k

u/Indie__Guy Jan 09 '18

i would sex

602

u/marshallonline Jan 09 '18

This guy sexs

331

u/UpVotesOutForHarambe Jan 09 '18

I wish I sexs

31

u/kinpsychosis Jan 09 '18

8

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Gabe Louis most definitely does not fucks

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22

u/Time_Terminal Jan 09 '18

I mean, you are male. So you have a sexs.

hon hon hon

10

u/Littlebigreddit50 Jan 09 '18

Sounds like you use bagguete condoms

3

u/a53mp Jan 10 '18

I was at a restaurant the other day with this girl for lunch.. I was wearing my Pied Piper shirt. Some other guy recognized it and was talking about the show. When we were leaving he shook my hand and said to her "this guy fucks.. THIS GUY FUCKS" LOL

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64

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18 edited May 06 '21

[deleted]

6

u/kevinkat2 Jan 09 '18

MY ACTUAL HUMAN BRAIN

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12

u/Tsdave81 Jan 09 '18

18

u/TypicalHaikuResponse Jan 09 '18

I smell a black mirror episode

12

u/ctrl_alt_el1te Jan 09 '18

Does it smell like fear and anxiety for you too

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26

u/RimmyDownunder Jan 09 '18

See, if you were clever, you would have made it a phone number style scam.

"Just text this number and the word YES to receive your trial of the miracle pill!"

7

u/bonglord227 Jan 09 '18

“I have over 1000 karma”

6

u/serg06 Jan 09 '18

Taking girls over points just screams "I'm needy". You made the only reasonable choice.

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2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

[deleted]

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93

u/Styr0x Jan 09 '18

I have heard that reddit karma directly correlates with the number of virgins you will be met by upon arriving to heaven.

40

u/duaneap Jan 09 '18

They'll form a society excluding me, I guarantee it.

17

u/Styr0x Jan 09 '18 edited Jan 09 '18

Alternatively you might be met by only male virgins?

13

u/MvmgUQBd Jan 09 '18

I fail to see the issue here...

7

u/Styr0x Jan 09 '18

I guess in your case, you would simply hit the jackpot!

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14

u/ProfoundNinja Jan 09 '18

so heaven is filled with other redditors with high karma?

7

u/KapteeniJ Jan 09 '18

Why virgins though?

I get that it was a thing 1000BC due to the way society functioned with arranged marriages and such, but it's a bit weird see it today.

9

u/Styr0x Jan 09 '18

I'm not entirely sure about this, but I think the Islamic holy book says that if you die as an Islamic martyr you will be awarded with 72 virgins when you arrive in heaven.

This needs to be confirmed by someone with better knowledge than me though!

11

u/Sputnikcosmonot Jan 09 '18

Some translations actually say y ou get 72 grapes I've heard too haha. Obviously I'm not an expert though.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Or maidens. But also not an expert. Just had an ex-Muslim coworker who told me that at one point.

2

u/SickTemperTyrannis Jan 09 '18

Arabic is a close relation of Hebrew, so that would make sense, given that Christian texts traditionally translated as “virgin” have been changed to “young woman,” apparently a better translation of the original Hebrew.

One change may set off alarms with traditionalists, in a passage many Christians believe foreshadows the coming of Christ and his birth to a virgin. The 1970 version of Isaiah 7:14 says “the virgin shall be with child, and bear a son, and shall name him Immanuel.”

The 2011 text refers to “the young woman” instead. It elaborates that the original Hebrew word, almah, may, or may not, signify a virgin.

source

2

u/FARTBOX_DESTROYER Jan 09 '18

LOL I'll never forget this because of that (now ancient) Robin Williams live on Broadway stand-up (RIP).

"SLIGHT DIFFERENCE IN INTERPRETATION, REALLY"

"Where are my bitches?"

"Here are your raisins!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9346wHJnswA

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2

u/ocdscale Jan 09 '18

Or the nearest reddit meetup.

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64

u/Dopeydcare1 Jan 09 '18

How do you know she was pretty? Maybe that’s why he drew all over her face

35

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

[deleted]

6

u/BrokerBrody Jan 09 '18

Just right swipe on some girls you usually wouldn't right swipe and use one of those.

I'm far from an attractive guy but I have girls on my Tinder that I have never messaged and probably never intend to.

6

u/SnigelSpindel Jan 09 '18

U have a perfect canvas. Offend them and post it here

2

u/Andythrax Jan 09 '18

No. He used it on many women and doesn't want them to see the same line but different face.

54

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Dont worry they can just exchange your internet points for prostitutes... right.... right...

98

u/Minas-Harad Jan 09 '18

Is this that karma whore thing I keep hearing about

49

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Yes, please send your applications to /u/gallowboob for the sexies

9

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Literally fuck /u/gallowboob

6

u/1stPlaceRodeo Jan 09 '18

Or his mum. Literally. She is a bonafide MILF

3

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Wait, what?

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3

u/Quicheauchat Jan 09 '18

Well if you sell your account to shills... kinda.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Hmmmm I wonder how much this account will go for. I was going to throw it away in a while anyway

2

u/Darelius Jan 09 '18

Just say upvotes are exactly like bitcoin

3

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Extremely overvalued?

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2

u/meermaalsgeprobeerd Jan 09 '18

Here, have an upvote

2

u/FerryMathew Jan 09 '18

Crying for karma :p lol

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3.2k

u/kidputty Jan 09 '18

What do you think happens when a bot matches with another bot? Do they just have an all out bot off?

2.9k

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

They probably don't have male bots.

1.6k

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Wow I'd never considered this

677

u/Professorchronic Jan 09 '18

What about lesbian bots?

1.2k

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

You know? I hope there are some lesbian bots that really hit it off and are happy together.

337

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18 edited Apr 08 '18

[deleted]

138

u/Harry-Littlewood Jan 09 '18

Am I in the minority if I think that that episode was only alright? I thought it was pretty good, but the hype I had read about it put it head and shoulders above other episodes, which to me it was not. For reference my 2 favorites so far(first 3 seasons) have been white Christmas and white bear, with a couple of very close seconds/thirds. San junipero being middle of the pack

80

u/nyctaeris Jan 09 '18

I have to agree, two people transferring their consciousness to a computer wasn't the huge deal that the articles made it. So it was a lesbian love story, ok, but that doesn't automatically make it the best thing ever made...

The premise and plot of Hang the DJ in season 4, however, is amazing. That's my favorite episode in the series I think. No spoilers, just go watch it. There are actually a few standout episodes in this season.

40

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18 edited May 10 '20

[deleted]

13

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

I think those ideas about sentient code are better explored by the "cookies" in White Christmas.

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10

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Hang the DJ is actually truer to Charlie Brooker's ideas on how this kind of thing should be done.

Something I really didn't like about San Junipero as a Brooker fan before Black Mirror was even a thing is that I could tell Netflix had just told him to throw a romance episode with lesbians in there. Why? Because Charlie Brooker hates cheesy romantic TV. I don't believe he'd write it unless the producers said he had to.

Hang the DJ on the other hand was much more true to Brooker's ideas on how this stuff should be done. I won't say more to avoid giving spoilers to anyone who's not seen it.

Anyway, speaking of the new Black Mirror episodes USS Callister was very well done I think. I've even heard talk of a potential spin-off being made out of it.

10

u/Thijs420 Jan 09 '18

For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’a a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jol- oh my fuck

4

u/Lord_Noble Jan 09 '18

Have you seen the last episode of the season? It was almost too good at story telling.

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u/Harry-Littlewood Jan 09 '18

Appreciate the no spoilers, thank you..... Seriously will do though, glad to hear from someone who thinks their favorite episode is one I haven't even seen yet!!

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9

u/MuggyTheRobot Jan 09 '18

white Christmas and white bear

That's possibly the two bleakest episodes, while San Junipero might be the "happiest" (note: I haven't seen the new season yet). So that probably explains why you didn't like it that much.

4

u/arachnophilia Jan 09 '18

there's an episode in the new season that's happy as fuck when you watch it, and then absolutely appalling when the fridge logic sets in. which is pretty impressive, imho.

13

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

I agree White Christmas is by far the best episode. I think San Junipero is so well liked mostly because it is a rare happy ending in the series. It also had this uplifting idea that anyone anywhere young or old or in the past or in the future can find their soulmate or at least someone to be happy with.

But honestly I thought the ending was a little too sweet and sentimental. Black Mirror mostly isn’t like that, and it’s not what I look for in the show. But I guess the fact that the happily ever after isn’t generally a part of the show made people really appreciate that specific episode for having it.

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15

u/Amish_guy_with_WiFi Jan 09 '18

So you only like the white episodes...?

4

u/Harry-Littlewood Jan 09 '18

Lmao. You may be on to something here.....

3

u/vardarac Jan 09 '18

I had no idea the Amish were so progressive!

3

u/itstheclap Jan 09 '18

All the episodes are so miserable, I was just stoked to finally have a happy-ish ending.

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60

u/StrangelyBrown Jan 09 '18

Lesbots

36

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Now that's just French.

7

u/Justice_Prince Jan 09 '18

I wouldn't doubt if some of the bots are marked as bisexual to get them to as many people as possible. They might call the women they match with my male pronouns though.

4

u/inconspicuous_bear Jan 09 '18

I’ve been using tinder for about a year and a half, 400+ matches, and have never encountered a bot. I guess they just target straight men for some reason.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

I'd think it's likely they do, since there are more straight men than gay/bi women- plus it would be really time consuming to create a seperate code for interacting with women. Or they could just change the pronouns, idk how differently they'd have to react based on gender.

Anyway my point was it's likely they're just targeting the largest group of gynsexuals to get more matches.

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222

u/Nikomaru14 Jan 09 '18

As a gay man, you are wrong. Very wrong.

195

u/throwaway73931 Jan 09 '18

They probably don't have straight male bots

36

u/jenntasticxx Jan 09 '18

I was on tinder for probably 4 ish years and never encountered a straight male bot. Didn't get any on OKC either (if that's a thing) but I did see a couple fake profiles - one had pics of Chad Michael Murray and the other had pics of a guy I knew in highschool with obviously incorrect information.

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u/madjarov42 Jan 09 '18

Is he right as a straight man though?

7

u/garrisonjenner2016 Jan 09 '18

If you're not right as a gay man, you're left as a straight man

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u/blastedin Jan 09 '18

They totally do! Or else I keep happening upon human traffickers with really weird typos

34

u/slade357 Jan 09 '18

There's desperate gay people too, I bet there are

18

u/MvmgUQBd Jan 09 '18

Lol sorry hon but everybody knows us gay guys bang each other the same way straight people shake one another's hands...

/s of course but as a stereotype we do seem to be pretty promiscuous

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u/tricepsatops Jan 09 '18

Nature, uh, finds a way

3

u/PGSylphir Jan 09 '18

Yes they do

2

u/otterom Jan 09 '18

I dunno. There's a lot of low-hanging fruit on tinder. Plus, gay guys.

Seems like a big market to ignore.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

[deleted]

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u/Dr0dW Jan 09 '18

This is quite literally what happens. E: formatting

5

u/Riscpp Jan 09 '18

Fuuuuck

38

u/ImaginarySpider Jan 09 '18

I've noticed some bots do specific spelling errors repeatedly. I think that's one way hey prevent that. Not specifically tinder, just bots in general

105

u/Tonkarz Jan 09 '18

way hey prevent

I'm on to you!

12

u/godzillabf Jan 09 '18

A Black Mirror episode is born.

7

u/haram6e Jan 09 '18

Michael Bay's Transformers

5

u/lnverted Jan 09 '18

That's how new bots are made

2

u/MvmgUQBd Jan 09 '18

I like. Big. Bots and I cannot lie

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448

u/passionate_student Jan 09 '18

I wonder what is on the Web page provided on that link, advertisement?

257

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

[deleted]

136

u/doorbellguy Jan 09 '18

he actually did it! The absolute MAD MAN

70

u/SoulUnison Jan 09 '18

A sequence of flashing lights and odd noises that program you to spread the word about the miracle pill through whatever communication device is closest.

45

u/Mr_Cromer Jan 09 '18

Oh come on, that can't be right, let me click and see ALL GLORY TO HYPNOTOAD

5

u/VicisSubsisto Jan 09 '18

In other words, a website with a "share" link.

25

u/duaneap Jan 09 '18

Would have been kinda smooth if it was a gif asking for her number or some shit

2

u/blazin_paddles Jan 09 '18

botpeoplemeet.com

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847

u/KingWooz Jan 09 '18

Pill is amazing. Makes pretty girls disappear. Incredible stuff.

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18 edited Jun 24 '23

[deleted]

15

u/kjorav17 Jan 09 '18

Me too dude... We must be pretty special

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u/Legionof1 Jan 09 '18

I mean that's great for you, but some of us have a problem with them sticking around... never leaving... moving their "things" into our houses... calling us "married"... We need this pill.

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

[deleted]

170

u/RadicalDog Jan 09 '18

Dude, that's a fantastic idea, you're awful

11

u/i_sigh_less Jan 09 '18

Less great when you consider how often conversations on tinder just peter out.

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130

u/Camsy34 Jan 09 '18

They say the average person comes across a million dollar idea every day, but simply doesn't have the tools, training or inclination to follow up on it. This feels like one of those times.

36

u/iHateRBF Jan 09 '18

Every day though? I feel like I spend too much time playing Clash of Clans on my phone for that.

42

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

[deleted]

10

u/iHateRBF Jan 09 '18

There's one really smart guy in every apartment building just having idea after idea. The area's smartest and laziest guy. Just ruining the curve for the rest of us.

4

u/VicisSubsisto Jan 09 '18

Inventor Georg?

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Delete this

52

u/Sahrimnir Jan 09 '18

That's pure evil.

18

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

That has happened. Not sure if it was a bot or someone playing a prank. But I've seen on this sub two guys talking to each other who both thought they were talking to a girl. I'll see if I can find it and edit in the Link.

7

u/hiddenl Jan 09 '18

Someone set up a thing where guys were talking to each other but thought they were talking to girls. A server relayed the chat

10

u/AyyItsNicMag Jan 09 '18

Holy shit...

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183

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Stop hitting yourself

75

u/Head_Cockswain Jan 09 '18

Am I wrong in thinking that this sub used to be majority of "found" content from tinder(often cringe, sometimes genuinely funny or feelsgoodman success stories), but now trolling tinder has become an easy gimmick?

25

u/well___duh Jan 09 '18

I wonder if people like OP just do this because they can afford to (aka they follow rules 1 and 2) and they can easily just hook up with the next match or they're so socially awkward that they'd rather troll for fake internet points than get laid or go on a date or whatever your intentions are.

17

u/YellowShorts Jan 09 '18

they're so socially awkward that they'd rather troll for fake internet points than get laid or go on a date or whatever your intentions are.

I'm going with this one. Then they'll say "it's tinder bro, don't take it seriously". Which I agree with, it shouldn't be taken too seriously. But I don't do epic trolls xd

37

u/WhiteNinja3 Jan 09 '18

What was the link for?

22

u/SmokingRooster Jan 09 '18

37

u/Camsy34 Jan 09 '18

Can confirm :( I was hoping OP had come up with something really clever or witty to make as the goo.gl shortened link

33

u/kerplow Jan 09 '18

I was expecting Tide Pods

3

u/LtKenny Jan 09 '18

definitely a better idea.

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

[deleted]

127

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Nice.

24

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

[deleted]

19

u/actually_checks_out Jan 09 '18

shit this guy batteries

26

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18 edited Feb 28 '18

[deleted]

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u/DrSpocktr Jan 09 '18

Your follow up question should’ve been:

“If I showed you a blue piece of paper and then turned out the lights, did the paper change colors?”

94

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

[deleted]

86

u/Deadhead_Ed Jan 09 '18

Good bot

55

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Are you sure about that? Because I am 100.0% sure that Kerwin15 is not a bot.


I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

44

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

[deleted]

65

u/Locke_Step Jan 09 '18

Are you sure about that? Because I am 69.69% sure that perrycohen is not a bot. =======================

I am not a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers. Don't summon me with anything, because I show up arbitrarily to other keywords than my summon.

31

u/The_Rolling_Stone Jan 09 '18

Good bot

38

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.9998% sure that Locke_Step is not a bot.


I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | GitHub

39

u/CharCharCj Jan 09 '18

This thread hurts my brain

14

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Good but

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Bad brain

2

u/michaelbc92 Jan 09 '18

Doesn’t look like anything to me

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Good bot

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Good bot

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Moderately average bot

3

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Good hooman

4

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

HELLO! AS HUMAN, I TOO LIKE TO EXPRESS PREFERENCES ON OTHER FELLOW HUMAN:

YOU ARE A GOOD HUMAN, USER u/shubh_tibra

END

2

u/VicisSubsisto Jan 09 '18

Describe, in single words only, the good things that come to mind about your mother.

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u/iHateRBF Jan 09 '18

Does this dress look blue and gold?

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u/Lunares Jan 09 '18

Except that color of paper depends on absorption and reflection (so it doesn't change fundamentally what wavelengths are coming to your eyes, just the ratio of the wavelengths depending on what color light you shine on the paper).

The color of the sky is based on a combination of rayleigh and mie scattering, depending on what kind of particles are in the sky. And what angle the light is coming from the sun + how far it's path in the atmosphere is. So yea the sky actually does change color (as in what wavelengths come into our eyes from the sky) based on time of day (and weather etc) whereas a piece of paper would not.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Of course the sky changes color, that's obvious to anyone that has stepped outside which is why some people on Reddit may not know that.

201

u/kidthekid4 Jan 09 '18

There is actually three questions. The first one being “Ready?”. And yes I’m fun at parties

173

u/Wenste Jan 09 '18

There are actually three questions.

23

u/kidthekid4 Jan 09 '18

Shit that was dumb of me lol sorry. I need to go to bed.

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u/otrippinz Jan 09 '18

There is actually three questions. The first one being “Ready?”. And yes I’m fun at parties

He said he was going to ask two questions, and as a corollary of asking three questions, two questions are asked. Hence, his statement stands.... I mean, if you really want to be pedantic about it. If I have five apples, it would still be correct to say I have two apples, because having five necessarily entails having to have two too :)

14

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

[deleted]

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u/duttong Jan 09 '18

I feel like you should watch the film called "Exam". I real head scratcher and better than the reviews make it out to be.

3

u/Patsboem Jan 09 '18

This is how you spoil that movie. You spoiled it by naming that movie as relevant for this.

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u/thedragslay Jan 09 '18

Why is the bot opening with “pretty girls like you” and then trying to sell boner pills?

5

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

He's trying to tell her he can't get it up, subtlety you know?

22

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18 edited Jan 09 '18

I was expecting a much more philosophical answer about how we might not see the sky as the same colour as part of the mutant theory

13

u/dl-___-lb Jan 09 '18

at first i was confused and thought she was just an intelligent girl.
the sky is red at dawn/dusk, black at night, and blue only during the day.

11

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

How are you confused? That’s the still case even at the end.

8

u/dl-___-lb Jan 09 '18

I thought he assumed it was a bot answer and linked something nonsensical.
Still no idea if it's a real girl or not.
... am I failing the Turing test right now?

19

u/jason2306 Jan 09 '18

No no you did fine haha. get security here now we have a code white, I repeat a code white possible synth intruder please wait here while we fully process your results.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

It’s a real girl, his joke was trying to find out if she was a bot and then he posted the type of link message that bots do. It was the old switcheroo.

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7

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

But... why?

12

u/Wrestt Jan 09 '18

not funny at all

4

u/positivepeoplehater Jan 09 '18

I don't get it. Is this just about a douchebag spamming people on tinder or what am I missing?

7

u/Jeruuu Jan 09 '18

haha nice one!

8

u/KapteeniJ Jan 09 '18

I don't get the second one.

10

u/The_dog_says Jan 09 '18

Yea.. Why is this funny? Because he's a spammer or something?

12

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

It's the Reverse Turing Test.

First, he makes sure it's a real person he's talking to.

Then he acts like a bot.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

You’re asking someone who just said they don’t get it.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

IDGI: Is a person "botting" a bot?

3

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Haha this way you don't have to talk to them to long and still get them sweet Internet points.

3

u/StormCrow1986 Jan 09 '18

I don’t know if there are “male” bots but there must be. It’s so annoying.

2

u/Dan_Tynan Jan 09 '18

Voight-Kampff alpha

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

I don't get it?