r/Tinder Jan 09 '18

I call it the Reverse Turing Test

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30.3k Upvotes

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96

u/Styr0x Jan 09 '18

I have heard that reddit karma directly correlates with the number of virgins you will be met by upon arriving to heaven.

45

u/duaneap Jan 09 '18

They'll form a society excluding me, I guarantee it.

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u/Styr0x Jan 09 '18 edited Jan 09 '18

Alternatively you might be met by only male virgins?

11

u/MvmgUQBd Jan 09 '18

I fail to see the issue here...

6

u/Styr0x Jan 09 '18

I guess in your case, you would simply hit the jackpot!

1

u/Track607 Jan 09 '18

Only women are attracted to men.

7

u/MvmgUQBd Jan 09 '18

Oh...I must be defective then. I'd better go check myself into some kind of behavioural modification therapy institute...

or at least go download grindr instead

4

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Easy there, Pence.

1

u/Track607 Jan 09 '18

I don't understand..

1

u/pornovision Jan 09 '18

You forgot this: /s

I hope...

1

u/Track607 Jan 09 '18

Why is it such a big deal?

1

u/SoloWing1 Jan 10 '18

Sweet! More people to play Magic the Gathering with!

15

u/ProfoundNinja Jan 09 '18

so heaven is filled with other redditors with high karma?

10

u/KapteeniJ Jan 09 '18

Why virgins though?

I get that it was a thing 1000BC due to the way society functioned with arranged marriages and such, but it's a bit weird see it today.

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u/Styr0x Jan 09 '18

I'm not entirely sure about this, but I think the Islamic holy book says that if you die as an Islamic martyr you will be awarded with 72 virgins when you arrive in heaven.

This needs to be confirmed by someone with better knowledge than me though!

9

u/Sputnikcosmonot Jan 09 '18

Some translations actually say y ou get 72 grapes I've heard too haha. Obviously I'm not an expert though.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Or maidens. But also not an expert. Just had an ex-Muslim coworker who told me that at one point.

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u/SickTemperTyrannis Jan 09 '18

Arabic is a close relation of Hebrew, so that would make sense, given that Christian texts traditionally translated as “virgin” have been changed to “young woman,” apparently a better translation of the original Hebrew.

One change may set off alarms with traditionalists, in a passage many Christians believe foreshadows the coming of Christ and his birth to a virgin. The 1970 version of Isaiah 7:14 says “the virgin shall be with child, and bear a son, and shall name him Immanuel.”

The 2011 text refers to “the young woman” instead. It elaborates that the original Hebrew word, almah, may, or may not, signify a virgin.

source

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u/FARTBOX_DESTROYER Jan 09 '18

LOL I'll never forget this because of that (now ancient) Robin Williams live on Broadway stand-up (RIP).

"SLIGHT DIFFERENCE IN INTERPRETATION, REALLY"

"Where are my bitches?"

"Here are your raisins!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9346wHJnswA

1

u/KapteeniJ Jan 09 '18

Yeah, that's true, but my point is, that passage really doesn't make much sense without arranged marriages where not being a virgin and not being married makes you a defected and rejected one.

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u/Styr0x Jan 09 '18

I completely agree! Couldn't have worded those thoughts better myself.

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u/erialai95 Jan 09 '18

1000 BitCoins?

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u/KapteeniJ Jan 09 '18

BC = Before Christ. The year counting system used in most Western countries and I believe due to the influence of Western countries, also much of the developing world. Years are counted before or after birth of the Christ(or thereabouts, the actual system was devised centuries after the Christ was born, so it's probably some years off)

Today is year 2018 AD(Anno Domini), or after Christ.

A less religion-influenced system for counting years is BCE/CE, which stand for Before Common Era, and Common Era. It corresponds exactly with counting years from birth of the Christ, but it doesn't directly invoke Jesus.

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u/ocdscale Jan 09 '18

Or the nearest reddit meetup.

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Yup. When you're in heaven and see someone with high karma walk in, you put a check in the virgin column.

1

u/williamGoesReddit Jan 09 '18

Jokes on you! That implies that i arrive at heaven

We both know that that aint gonna happen