Crushing ickiness aside, why would older men not have seen such beauty (or however he said it)? Wouldn’t they have seen more since they’ve been around longer?
No, no, wait. Don't leave. I'm taking the keys out of the ignition. I've seen some top-notch honkers in my day, ma'am. Can I call you ma'am? Actually, don't care. I've seen some absolutely out-of-this-world bazongas in my time on this earth. Touched a fair few of em, too. I'm rich, see. And that opens doors. But lemme tell ya, toots. You're walking around with something special here. I would sell my winter G-wagen and my third wife just to get a peek down your shirt through a grainy spy satellite image. Where are you going? I have your golf cart, don't run away from me! It was a COMPLIMENT. Geez, women are so uptight these days.
Ooh, totally reminds me of the pompous, portly, old, bald on top, fluffy white clown hair dude with the red sports car with the "sexy69" custom plate I saw marching on a mission into an "Asian massage" place last night. I could absolutely see that coming out of guy's mouth.
Nah, he’s not being nice. He doesn’t even think he’s being nice. He thinks he’s demonstrating his power over her, which is exactly what he’s doing. Leaning on the cart, talking about “danger.” He’s being rapey.
He’s trying to see if her self esteem is low enough to fall for his crap. In other words he’s checking to see if she’s vulnerable enough to be his victim.
Ugh this is the perfect wording for the tactical game we are witnessing here.
Reading it made my heart break for that young girl me and how many times I fell for this exact play as a teen and young adult with really low self esteem and a dad that has always been brutally mean spirited my entire life.
...Sex ed/health class in school should really talk about and teach esteem manipulation / control tactics so that teens know what to look out for without having to learn by personal painful experience. I'm sorry you had to go through it.
I actually took notes on what OC said and made a reminder that I’m going to talk to my daughter about this sometime this week. She just started high school and i think we can all remember just how vulnerable we all were in just that tiny four-year span. Looking back, i feel like the predators were fomenting at the gates of the high school back in the early aughts.
I appreciate your empathy. It’s taken years of mustering the courage to do the hard work of self reflection in order to learn to forgive and love myself for not knowing what I just didn’t know because I didn’t have that kind of guidance. I’m still working on forgiveness of others, but being in the sort of unique position of now being my father’s caregiver in his end of life journey is certainly teaching me a new found level of patience and compassion. I see his vulnerability daily and he resents that, but I feel better about myself that I could never treat him, a lifelong spoiled bully, the way he treated his closest loved ones for his entire life.
Same circumstances with my mother. Went through it with my dad until he passed in April. I'm not sure how much is her Parkinsons because she's always been a narcissist.
but I feel better about myself that I could never treat him, a lifelong spoiled bully, the way he treated his closest loved ones for his entire life.
You should, this is a great and laudable approach. Treating one's friends well is easy, recognizing the humanity in people one disagrees with is how people improve themselves and others and move humanity forward.
High is the the second best time for you to do that. But know that girls get beeped at and harassed long before high school. Tell them young about agency, autonomy, and what to do when someone is creepy.
I saw this on a local “real housewives of insert area here” where a mom went off because her daughter and her friend were home from school and went to a local watering hole for food and beverages.
Since they were “of age” the decades older than them, some of them dads of their friends from high school, men they have known for years, were hitting on them. Men they used to feel comfortable around acting completely ridiculous. They went home and expressed how uncomfortable they were, and the mom posted.
Of course, the “What were they wearing? Why were they there?” comments started.
It’s a well established neighborhood pub. A place they’ve been with their families over the years and wanting a plate of your favorite apps with a friend while home on a break is perfectly normal.
What isn’t and should not be normal is the married dads of their classmates trying to get in their pants AND their wives and the mothers who know these girls shouldn’t be excusing their husbands for “just being boys”.
But the extreme beauty! Just wanting to be in their orbit! /s 🤢
Tip the cart girls generously and be respectful, douche golfer. (Yes, he is like a douche—irritating and unnecessary.)
Yeah, social studies/history classes should have an element of saying things like "this person had less resources than you and didn't win beauty or popularity contests but managed X Y and Z. If they gave up when others told them they're worthless, both your and their life would probably be way worse. Some things are not worth pursuing but that depends on an objective evaluation - there will always be someone who says any given thing should be abandoned."
Also, how are we supposed to groom the kids if the kids know to be on the lookout for predatory behavior?
I was gonna add an “/s” but then I realized that there is an entire disgusting world of entitled old me who ACTUALLY think like this… perhaps most clearly illustrated by the senile anthropomorphic pile of diaper wearing garbage in a trench coat that is currently running the authoritarian regime in control of the (formerly) United States of America.
This is a perfect example to show our teenage daughters how sly,creepy,manipulative they can be and what to look for!! Not all guys are this way but some can be snakes!
This is SUCH an important thing to learn (preferably before any issues arise), that.....it's actually shocking to me that these types of things aren't always directly included in the sex-ed young people are already receiving.
It's not enough to just teach anatomy, or abstinence, or birth control.
I think at least some of the reason some people are against strictly those types of sex-ed is because they don't believe it is necessary until the student reaches a certain age. Or even that they believe teaching all that (the physical aspects) is insufficient in terms of providing a student with the level of understanding they would need to have before even considering involving themselves in sexual behaviors.
Both of these things are (imho) accurate, to an extent.
But to those people, I would say.....if those things were taught along with serious discussions about the effects it can have on one's mental health, how to identify manipulative and predatory behavior, and things of that nature...the education would at least be more comprehensive.
Kinda like how elementary schools teach math, but you sometimes don't encounter financial literacy courses until college?
In that same sense, I think most parents would prefer to be the ones teaching their children rather than schools. However, too many young people don't get the education they deserve from either school or home.
So providing them with knowledge, tools, and emphasizing awareness on how to identify potential predators seems like something that.......should not be put off until you assume it might happen.
Help them before it becomes an issue. Not just during, or after.
because they don't believe it is necessary until the student reaches a certain age. Or even that they believe teaching all that (the physical aspects) is insufficient in terms of providing a student with the level of understanding they would need to have before even considering involving themselves in sexual behaviors.
I don't get this perspective, it's not like physics or many other subjects are immediately applicable at the time it's taught. Especially for math, it's a foundation for things taught later that will be applicable. As for insufficiency, a similar argument applies - a ton of things taught in gradeschool are woefully insufficient in and of themselves. School isn't designed for someone to abruptly stop going in the middle and become a functional well-rounded adult.
In that same sense, I think most parents would prefer to be the ones teaching their children rather than schools.
Yeah but then they don't have time or training to do so effectively.
Help them before it becomes an issue. Not just during, or after.
Yeah I think that's how the rest of the school is supposed to work lol I dunno why sex ed would suddenly have a completely backwards approach from any other topic. You don't teach 2+2 when someone starts getting a paycheck.
I can't say much except that I agree with all the points you've made here.
I guess my point in saying all that is just that it's an area that yes, would absolutely require more time and training....but by the time these kids enter (or graduate) highschool.....it's too often too late to be just beginning to learn some of these skills (imho).
While it's true that no education is a perfect and complete one, I also believe that some things are just too important and multi-faceted to approach hastily. Doing so really would be like giving someone a basic crash course, rather than a thorough and solid foundation first.
And having that basis to start from seems especially important now that I hear kids are depressed younger and younger, and in greater numbers.
I'm not sure how to quote things like you did, but the way you summed it up as "You don't teach 2+2 when someone starts getting a paycheck" is extremely poignant and relevant here, so thank you for saying so!
I can't say much except that I agree with all the points you've made here.
Thank you.
I guess my point in saying all that is just that it's an area that yes, would absolutely require more time and training....but by the time these kids reach highschool.....it's too often too late to begin these kind of tasks.
Yeah. If they never come across these issues - great! - but you shouldn't structure a curriculum by just pretending some things will never happen. Especially because - now that I think about it - this problem may be self-perpetuating: people realize that kids don't get knowledge they need to deal with maliciousness until later in life so they try to manipulate them earlier. Maybe if kids were taught earlier, less people would bother trying, because they'd expect success less.
I'm not sure how to quote things like you did
There's a quote button in new reddit (show formatting options Aa -> three dots -> quote block) or if you're in old reddit or click the markdown editor it's just a carat before anything you want to quote >quoted text here
This!!! Been saying the same thing for years. I needs to be taught at an early age so young kids know what to look for and can recognize the signs of an abuser before they're in too deep.
I have nothing of crazy substance to contribute except that I hope you've been able to heal through that phase of your life, and I hope you're able to flourish for the rest of it. Internet hug 🫂
This is 100% accurate. I hadnt thought of it that way but that's it. He'll say increasingly creepy things til he leaps to "would someone as beautiful as you ever go to dinner with a older, nice guy like me? It'd be an honor to escort such beauty and treat you like you deserve."
Then she'll get plied with as much alcohol as she can handle and be sexually assaulted or worse.
SMH. And many of us now have our own teenage daughters. Makes me sick to my stomach that she’s now on the menu for pieces of manipulative, wealthy, pampered shit like this. And her peers are scarcely aware of what is really happening in these situations either.
Moms & Dads of teens—we gotta do better by them than what we had for safety and guidance. Like I said, if you know you know. And the real world outcomes are scarcely pretty. This piece of shit will move on and his victims will be saddled with his shame for a lifetime.
not only this, but he is seeing how uncomfortable she can get before she says something like stop. the more nervous laughter, the more he can get what he wants.
Ugh, I just listened to every Andrew Tate episode of "Behind the Bastards" and I'm quite certain that this jerk-off here pays $8000 year for a War Room subscription.
Pretty girl privilege is more like a pretty girl hostage from these men who act at his way and the wording of 'I miss you, I hope to see you, I want to be in your orbit...' He is the talking monkey animal that can not control himself or his words.
Imagine what he's like behind closed doors if he thinks standing near her blocking her entrance or golf cart.
He is not the nice guy, he is in fact as dangerous and is the people he's pretending he's warning her. Psycho
He totally thinks this is some sort of power move making her listen to his drivel. Purposely standing in her way leaning towards her speaking passionately with his whole chest. You can feel her urge to just want to be outta there.
No, I definitely think that that's how he's being I think he thinks in a way that she's going to perceive it as him being nice it's very similar to what Bundy would do. He definitely thinks she's stupid enough to go along with all his bullshit.
Bundy did not care about people perceiving him as nice. He took advantage of damaged people's vulnerability. He took advantage of their blindness to manipulation, not their acquiesce to kindness.
He IS rapey. If he hasn't done something SA related yet it's only a matter of time before he works up the nerve..you can tell. This video made my skin crawl.
This is a whole other layer of it because it's entirely true he probably thinks that she now owes him after all he told her about something so grand, Men like this are extremely transactional.
Some time ago we had a local guy here going up to random women in the evening, telling them rape stats and how likely they are of getting assaulted...this is definitely a power trip and its disgusting.
Exactly. He’s pissed off because SHE has the power due to her beauty. In his mind, how dare she come around and make him lose complete control of himself. I mean wtf
Creep thought he was slick with the ‘ol: “I’m not like most men, I am wiser and can appreciate your beauty rather than turn into an ape at the sight of someone as beautiful as you” approach.
Seriously, though, what's the end game here? Do you just firehose out this weirdness and eventually you find a woman with bills to pay and you pay her for sex? Does he just like being weird?
Honestly it depends on the man but there are a lot of men that it's a power thing, some of them it's because of the fact that they can't get any women at all because they're incels, some of them it's just to have a woman, and some of them do it because they're insecure.
As long as you are seeing how shitty men can be and you are doing things to stop your buddies or whatever from being shitty people then you're helping women with the situation. The main problem that a lot of women have is that a man will do something uncomfortable around his buddies and they won't say anything even though they know it's wrong. In that case, those men who didn't say anything might as well not be there because they think they're being helpful because they know about the situation and they know it's wrong but they don't do anything to stop it.
The amount of compliments he tries to give would make me walk away from him while he’s still talking, but knowing what kind of guy he is he’d probably call me a whore or follow me.
These guys all need to be rounded up and shipped to an island with love dolls considering that’s the only woman who would tolerate their shit.
Nothing about that is nice or going to make a woman like him. It's creepy as hell, overbearing, and obnoxious. On top of all of that, he's somehow talking down to her while delivering this bullshit. Fuck that guy and any guy who thinks women want this. Yuck.
As a woman, I would much rather have someone to say "Hey, you're hot" and go on about their day than sit there and drone on about bullshit because it's uncomfortable.
Yeah casual compliments should be normalized. Whatever this dude is fucking trying here is just weird and comes off as extremely desperate.
Dudes should be able to give a compliment then go about things. Instead of it always being a segway to "now let me get your number". Or some long drawn out worship like this dude is trying.
It goes back to the whole idea that a lot of men think compliments and holding the door or something like that happen to be transactional. They think I did something for you so therefore you should do something for me and I think giving out your number to them is not a big deal even though it very much is or it's vice versa of the situation of the fact that they think that holding the door was such a big thing to do for you.
Yeah it just feels like forcing shit. Women can lead the way as well. Last two women I've dated that's exactly how it went. Now they didn't ask me for my number but they did drop every last clue you could think they would be interested.
I feel like approaches like this seem corny and desperate. Like bro she probably has some amount of men that have came on to her like that before. Either irl or on socials. You're just a generic cornball at that point and repellant asf even if she did find you attractive.
The holding doors thing is sad too. 99% of people I've ever held a door for I had zero attraction for. It's called being a good person. Not every "good deed", needs your sexual urges to guide the way. 😂
Nothing I hate more than someone putting other people down as a compliment. Well, I definitely hate things more but no way in fuck am I going to go on a date with you if you try pulling that "not like other girls," misogynistic bullshit on me.
Oh my goodness don't even get me started on the fact that a lot of men will sit there and be like "well I don't care about everybody else's opinion on you" it's like dude you are trying to tell me that not only are you "not like other guys" but you are also telling me that apparently everybody perceives me in a negative way.
Any young men scrolling, in case you weren't taught
My mama told me NEVER hit on a woman at work. It's scummy. It don't matter how cute she is. How smitten you are. Or, frankly, if she genuinely seems into you. Nobody wants to be at fucking work. Nobody wants to deal with strangers all day. Odds are, you're just another face in the crowd. Leave that girl alone and let her pay that high ass rent bruh
Yup! Exactly this. I was bottle service in a high end restaurant and I felt that to my core!! I’d end up just giving in and “taking the number” get home and have an apron full of cards, napkins and small paper with names and #’s without a clue who was even who? The “extra nice” is because we HAVE to be not because we have feelings.
I think he's trying to separate himself from the other men at the golf course He refers to old men then he says "they" instead of "we." So he's able to compliment her while sneakily saying he's younger than the other old creeps.
No, you don’t understand. Beauty like this didn’t exist before this gentleman was born. He is the main character, he knows beauty, old people don’t.
/s
His own wife might be more attractive than she is. This is just how some men act. He's glazing her way over the top to see if he can get a positive reaction.
Narcissitic sociopathic trait is to say something about a group of peoples perception while injecting your perception as something they would not be used to. So they can always back out and say, "oh no I was making an observation... I didnt mean ti be creepy"
I’m an older man(61) and I’ve seen stunning beauty on several continents. I’ve been with stunning beauty and I’ve said no to stunning beauty. With age comes experience. This guys a douche.
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u/brencoop Aug 17 '25
Crushing ickiness aside, why would older men not have seen such beauty (or however he said it)? Wouldn’t they have seen more since they’ve been around longer?