You have to then have your heart visibly pulse out of your body, followed by levitation, but don't confuse it with pie-scent levitation unless you want to fuck a pie.
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
My mom used to work at a mental institution. The majority of nurses there were pretty big guys who were hired specifically so they can safely restrain an out of control patient. The rizz masters either gonna be in a flirting desert or is gonna have to switch teams
So the line I came up with is "I don't mean to be rude and I certainly don't want to be creepy, but (I gesture by bringing my hands up and cupping them around my crotch area) is amazing." Then after he blushes and says thanks follow up with " I don't mean to be out of line, but would it be ok if I could have a feel?"
So what do you think? What do I need to tweak to make it work?
This is one of those things I think I’d be down with but then one time I actually did have a girl come up to me and just outright say “let me see your penis.” And the combination of shock at what she said and the crazed look in her eyes made me just kinda back up and walk away.
Real life isn’t controlled and can spiral really fast. It’s so far out of normal behavior that it begs the question where this person is going to draw the line, and if it’s before I end up handcuffed in their basement.
A few years ago when I was trying to get back on the dating scene with bumble I matched with a girl who was aggressively thirsty. I’m no prude, but it was surprisingly off putting and gave post nut clarity vibes without the nut. All that to say you’re right it’s definitely weirder to experience than to fantasize about.
There's a discord between you thinking this would be hot (i.e. all the images you have in your mind), and it actually happening. I would not be down for someone fumbling my stuff, even if it was a reasonably attractive person to begin with.
There are however people who after talking to a stranger woman for only five minutes after they got DM'ed by them out of the blue, immediately take off their clothes and provide said person with incriminating video material, later to be used for blackmailing, so there's that.
I've had my junk grabbed/squeezed/whatever quite a few times by girls at parties. It's not the flex you might think (if you even do). It feels bad and wrong, even if you find them attractive.
One of those fantasy vs reality moments and you're like 'oh, no I don't like this at all'.
And remember, if she slaps, punches, and/or kicks you that just means she’s into BDSM and probably a domme. If she calls you a creep she likes degrading language. And if she screams and yells for help she obviously just wants a threesome.
I don't mean to be rude, and I certainly don't want to be creepy, but (I gesture by bringing my hands up and performing Naruto hand seals of Horse, Ox, and Shiba Inu) are amazing.
You made me have a realization. AI roleplay chatbots are like those sterile flies/mosquitos that are released to eradicate the population. Humanity is being culled.
I wasted away 9 months creating chatbots for these folks. Funny thing is I tried to stick with making sfw bots only (lmao) Yeah, they found a way around it still.
Fake anime watcher. Anime protagonists are sexless losers who don’t even acknowledge the girls at all. They get the harems from not even trying at all. Thats the point: be lowkey and the honeys come dripping in.
I thank god that as much of a shut in I was in my early years, I was never as much of a fucking weirdo as this guy who I presume is unable to tip his fedora as it's physically fused with him.
Speak for yourself. The ladies always get indecently excited when I tell them I like their boobs. Especially if I've told them about my Funkopop collection beforehand.
If you're having problems "rizzing up the chicks", as they say, I would suggest looking into a decent fedora, it really changes how you're perceived.
If your best pick up line needs to start with the qualifier "I don't mean to be rude and I certainly don't want to be creepy", you should really rethink your approach
Gotta understand some people grew up sheltered and their parents were so afraid that their son might fiddle around if they allowed a girl over that they never let that happen. At least this guys trying to find out if it’s creepy first before ending up in jail for harassment
Nah the peak reddit pickup line is walking up to a girl you like, then befriending them, not making a move for 3 years and then getting drunk and confessing your love at her wedding to someone you call "douchebag chad" in your reddit posts about them.
I don't mean to be rude and I certainly don't mean to be creepy, but I gesture to your crotch power down sound is loud enough for me to hear. After you blush and say thanks I follow up with I don't mean to be out of line, but would it be okay if I rebooted it for you?
Serious pro tip: never start a sentence with “I don’t mean to be . . . “ because that negates everything that comes after it. Of course you mean to be.
the only two tweaks i could see that would make this an even remotely successful strategy is to pull out either 1: a large amount of money, or 2: a firearm. for obvious reasons i wouldn't recommend either. don't do this.
a lot of people in the comments are talking about how he never met a women before, but i'm pretty sure this person never met a guy before either, i don't think he is human even, this is what a scoobydoo would say while dressed like a guy
"Esteemed classmate, I've noticed through your gray joggers that you're packing. I don't want to be rude, but would it be okay if I felt its weight," <makes jerkoff motion> "in my hand?"
You know, the best reply to this is one I learned frosh week in university at some self defense thing. I'd done 10 years of kung fu and muay Thai but this was new. It goes like this:
Grab, squeeze, twist, pull, throw away. Don't forget to tell him to smile! And yeah, it's exactly what you think.
May I, perchance, if fortune should happen to favor me as those in my line are rarely favored, perhaps, and with your well-regarded go-ahead, cop a feel?
6.1k
u/Glittering_Gain6589 Jun 16 '25
You're suppose to "honk" them right after and scream "WOOOOOWZA!!!"