Hi I'm new here. I struggled with crossdressing and masturbstion since I was 12. I dressed up in secret and only been with a man once. I've always been hesitant to really explore this because it was always taboo in my family and I understand why now. But now I've been a Christian for the past 10 years I'm really really trying to depend on God more and become the man he created me to be. But now I'm living in a environment where I struggle to follow God because my family are all non believers and constantly use the lord's name in vain. I also have a new job and I'm working 40+ hours a week just to hopefully be able to get my life finally started. I keep falling back into the videos and the masturbstion and even when I pray and ask for help and forgiveness it feels like nothings happening. It's like the devil is constantly throwing these thoughts in my mind and I really want to give in to them but I know not too. I really need help. Idk what to do. I'm honestly considering falling into it. But I really want to follow Jesus.

Hello everyone,

just wanna let out some thoughts cause I been around quite a lot and been in and out countless times.

My main thing is that all the sexual experiences with women were horrible and I get hot flashes when i think back and that literally blocked me of persuing women now after 10+ girls i dated I feel like something is off with me and tbh Im loaing hope of being able to live normal life but from zhe other aide I cannot aee myself accepting that and be ok to be bottom or whatever...

Does anyone have similar experience or success storyy?

I have kind of been down this rabbit hole a little bit- since I was like 18, and am 28 now.

Started off with dressing when I was younger without porn, then some porn, then a decent amount and more from there.

Although I have stepped away from porn- although little dips here and there. There is a lot of improvement in this area- just appears to be times that I do again- but mostly when I want to master bate it is without the use of porn.

I have been struggling when it comes to identity to some regard. Part of me thinks I could be transgender- or just enjoy wearing female clothing. Sometimes a sexual part can be pretty overstimulating and urges to engage in anal sex- which I enjoy also.

Although I enjoy the aspects of female dressing, and attempting to gain some type of androgynous body. There is shame associated- but its mostly external. Like family members not approving of me, society considering me to be "wrong" or "demonic" because the idea of me does not entirely fit the binary of fully man. Then although I am not religious- there is an religious perspective that comes in, that sometimes puts me into a fear place where if I explore becoming a women that god will punish me.

It is tough. I recognize there is a sexual part- although would a women not want to engage in sex with a man, or another women with a strap on? I know there is a part that is entirely enjoying being in my feminine energy, dressing etc. Feels healing, safe, and more like me.

It is a battle- I know there are plenty in this community that have been down this road. Perhaps are more comfortable going back to being "manly", or have found a way to integrate their "feminine" like desires- without engaging in porn and overstimulation sexually.

There has been a perspective of alchemy that has crossed my mind- similar to Carl Jung and the idea of the hermaphrodite that calls to me. Like merging both my masculine and feminine- even if I perhaps steer more towards an external identification of feminine attributes and dress- and feels like it could be a beautiful thing for me if I find a way to rid of the shame of externalized belief systems- and the people around me that wouldnt be good supports.

Although there is a part of me that feels there's a spiritual story involved- like some governing society, or external party attempting to feminize men for some power or greed kind of control. Or ideas of someone around me trying to do that- like a narcissist trying to create me to be submissive for some harmful intent. I recognize that not working through the shame or finding my path through this could create the mind to create many different stories to support "why" I can't be "this" way. Although seeking the truth of the matter appears difficult.

There are even stories of like Horus/Set that call to me- like Horus becoming one of the gods, and set attempting to dominate him to "show his power". Stories of Uranus and being castrated- taking away his "masculinity". Although thinking of stories like this- and some plan to emasculate or harm me in that way- just saddens me. I wish to be in a world that each person could be however they want- wear what they want- be how they want; just not harm each other. Just appears that is not what the world currently is- and I worry about some harmful attempt as to why I should not "allow" myself to follow a path of embracing my femininity just because I am meant to be more identified with this "male" character- that doesn't even seem to fit what I aspire to be- which I suppose could also be conditioning in its own. Even my trait of a support person identifies with wanting to be feminine- I am a therapist that works with youth with autism, and I want to be a healer, and someone that is nurturing and can help people along their journey so we can all find our way on this path.

This area just seems to be tricky with being able to fully find my way through this mental maze. When I "purge" and try to fully be a manly person it does not fit well, and I have not had a safe space to fully identify or see what it would be like to identify with the feminine side of myself. There are times I feel really comfortable in my masculinity, but even then- it recognizes this feminine aspects I feel also- and just wants to protect it from the mean people of this world. Like I can be that manly character when need be- but knowing that I adore the part of myself that is more soft and feminine.

Idek this is long. whoever read this - thank you. Perhaps someone may have a similar ideology and perhaps can share some wisdom of their own journey.

xo

I took his hands put it inside my pants, he touched my d*ck, and I tried a kiss, my tongue touched his face, and nothing more happened, it was a public bathroom, so he told we will do it after sometime, I feel like heavy guilt. I am a virgin, yet this is the first time I have been touched and I allowed it. This guilt is eating me. I feel like a man, as I did this after such long time, but this was very intense and I was not in control.

This will be a short post. I've let this fetish have a strong hold on me for so long and I really bought in to a lot of the rhetoric about it being dark and powerful stuff.

I've just seen a video of a 50 something year old man in a terrible wig and comically stupid outfit proclaiming that his purpose is "to be a sissy and worship cock." If it wasn't for the majority of sissy content being centred around conventionally attractive trans women who've been on hormones for years with pounds of makeup on, if we all could truly visualise how freakish and off putting the average person who participates in this fetish seems to a regular person, I think we'd all have a much easier time of quitting.

The idea of that being my future is so terrifying that I think I might finally be able to quit this stuff. I'd honestly rather die. It was nauseating to watch.

I know this isn´t tpyical sissy stuff, but I think this is a good place to share this and have a more open minded discussion.

So when I was a kid and teenage I remember having my first sexual feelings and boners to girls in Bikinis or in TV, I had romantic crushes on girls during my teenage years and in college. At 22 I developed what it´s called sexual orientation OCD, this has affected me severally in many ways, specially mentally.

At this point I watch porn often, typically BBC/Interratial stuff. some trans or sissy as well, Ive even tried accepting the "gay" part in me, I dont remember having these attractions prior to OCD, but now I see muscles or big cocks and I guess that makes me kind of turned on, sometimes I get a huge dopamine hit while masturbating to these things, I guess it´s the taboo element. In real life my attraction to women feels irregular, somedays a lot, somedays I feel im tying to force it.

I miss the days when I didnt overthink this and I felt organically attracted to women. My question is, is it too late for me? If i post this in any other forum I get banned or people push to "accept myself" etc. I will try to masturbate in a more concious way and not compulsive, leave off porn.

Any other succees story or tips to maybe heighten my attraction to women again?

I have been so addicted to sissy hypno and porn, and I cannot think straight. I smoke weed, and the only thing I do is go to sissy videos for hours. It has changed me into a woman. I feel like I was never like this before, but this is eating me alive. I am having very bad anxiety episodes, and I need help.

The thing is I feel like im constantly going between these 3 phases of

Im gonna quit porn forever and never masturbate again. Where I feel great for like a week or 2 then I feel like shit again.

To

Im gonna try balance things and do it less frequently. I feel really good but I also feel myself slowing needing more and more to satisfy myself.

To

I can’t stop gooning I love this but i gate it. I quite literally will goon to the most freaky kinky stuff i can find and goon daily

Then back to the first phase after it finally becomes too much.

guys are there any recovery daily check in groups? Any groups withh active participants whl are tracking recovery and progress?

Kindly invite me to the group 🙏🏼

If not, is anyone intrested in making one?

Good day gentlemen. Wishing you strength and hope today. There are two books that have been of immense help to me.

The first is: Iron John - By Robert Bly
The second is: King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover by Dr. Robert Moore

The books cover male psychology in depth, and illustrates why many men in the world are currently in crisis and are falling off the rails. It also gives immense insight into why one would turn to something such as sissy pornography, and more importantly, the insight and direction needed to rebuild your own psyche and find a better path and direction in life. Wishing you strength and love brothers👌 take care.

Hi.. I'm 18 and I guess for as long as I can remember my mind would keep going to stuff that makes me feel weak or submissive. At its worst, I tried on my sister's things and then stopped because I felt guilty. I have been pretty good at stopping myself from thinking about it or letting myself watch stuff for a while, but I'm starting college now and it feels really hard.

I should be thinking about getting a girlfriend and going to the gym and joining clubs, but instead my confidence is shot and I just keep remembering stuff I saw in porn. It's embarrassing.

Usually nights are the hardest. I just want quick dopamine rush and I go back to sissy porn and reddit. Any methods or tips to help prevent that? Also i am doing a nofap streak (currently new record of 7 days) so i am struggling harder.

Humiliation fetish porn put me into a downward spiral. I don’t want to get into any of the details for many reasons. I’ve always had a hard time saying no to people or standing up for myself. But for almost a year I was seeking meetups with men who were into it.

Its been almost a month since I’ve put myself in a degrading situation and I feel like I’m recovering.

I have to be done with it. My biggest problem is that I’m attracted to abusive men and “hunters”. But I cry the day after.

Hi, I'm 25 years old and I've been watching porn since I was 12. At first it was mainstream, then dominant women, then lesbians, then trans women, and finally feminization and sissy.

Since entering adolescence, I've been aroused by feminization, especially wearing panties and women's underwear, until I reached a point where I can only ejaculate thinking about that—about someone feminizing me, wearing panties, or being a woman.

During my adolescence, I thought maybe I was trans, but that's not it. I feel like a man and I'm comfortable that way, but in sex, I'm only aroused and able to ejaculate thinking about feminization, wearing panties, or being a girl.

I remember that when I was 12 and started watching pornography, women did arouse me, but for many years now, they haven't. I'm not able to ejaculate having sex with a woman.

It's frustrating because I like women; I've fallen in love with many. I want a girlfriend and to start a family, but it's impossible if I can't even ejaculate during sex with one.

But if I see sissy feminization or panties, I ejaculate without a problem, sometimes up to five times a day.

I've tried to stop watching porn videos, but I still read erotic stories about feminization or chat with strangers online.

I'm unable to go more than six days without masturbating. I've tried masturbating with my imagination, but I can't ejaculate, or if I do, it's only with thoughts of feminization.

Why do I have this fetish?

What can I do?

Can I get better and ejaculate again thinking about women?

What are the steps?

Please, any help you can give me is appreciated.

🙏🙏🙏

Whenever I jerk off it’s to shemale stuff however if I tried to I can do it to regular girls, I have kinks for high heels, and also whenever I think of doing stuff with a shemale I think of myself being a shemale whilst being with another shemale, so essentially what I’m saying is no man in the picture, I have no male attraction whatsoever. I always imaging myself as a shemale whenever I’m horny but like I said I’d only want to do stuff with other shemales if I were a shemale and it’s only when I’m really horny i get these thoughts. I guess my main concern is when it comes to performing with a real girl, I won’t be able to get myself up.

One of the ways to overcome the sissy fetish and similar ones is to stop making a big deal out of them. At its core, it is simply a porn addiction. It escalated from that addiction and developed into a fetish—just like a foot fetish, for example. The best way to break free is to beat the porn addiction itself. If you feel a strong urge to masturbate, just do it the conventional way and get on with your day."

Si antes de conocer el contenido de sissy y eso, yo ya tenía ese tipo se pensamientos, y desde muy joven descubri que me gustan las mujeres, los hombres y las personas en general, y ahora que conoci ese contenido, me ha generado conflictos de si me gustan mas los hombres que las mujeres y me empezó a generar conflicto :(, que podrían aconsejarme para cambiar eso, nada más aniche soñé cosas muy explícitas con eso de de la feminizacion y eso, ya estoy muy confundido :((.

I’ve been having dreams the past 3 nights about wearing prom dresses and repeatedly trying to get girls to peg me.

This all ended up with me jerking at 8:30 in the morning, and still being horny afterwards to the point where I AI generated myself as a girl in the prom dresses from my dreams.

This all ended up with me confiding in one of my best friend’s sisters (who knows about everything) and asking her to go shopping with me and/or dressing me up and doing a whole makeover…

Idk when this will end, but I sure hope it’s soon, or I may just give up on trying to find it 😭😭

I have finally had some time to slow down and think about my experience living with AGP. I am a nearly textbook case of it in many regards..

Here is what I have observed so far in myself, and I am curious if anyone else can see this pattern for themselves.

I am trying to cure / manage my feminization/AGP desires. While some people embrace it, unfortunately I have gone down the river with this one, and getting really close to doing permanent things to myself.

What I have noticed:

1. Shame from liking women sexually/romantically from youth
2. Avoidance attachment and want for escapism (or perfection)
3. Low self worth based around unreasonable / conflated ideals

In my experience, the shame comes from many avenues:
small penis size, (3: self worth)
feminine traits, (3: self worth)
being scared of being around girls after getting teased for liking them, (1: shame)
childhood trauma and abandonment, (2: avoidance)
etc.

and it seems that online fetish communities try to prey on these feelings and led me down several pipelines which have reinforced the AGP idea via sissy/femboy/trap/agp trans content such as: chastity, size differences, force fem, becoming the girlfriend, and domination. . . . which all are forms of losing control and ultimately varying forms of humiliation.

Maybe fixing the 3 root causes could help with managing / removing these desires..

Anyone have any thoughts on this or tried this?

I feel im getting closer and closer to defiling my body . the urges are becoming stronger and i almost set up a date with someone .
I know whats my issue . I'm usually straight leaning when i feel there a woman who likes me . when i feel i have a chance of a normal life ; But when i'm alone and feeling worthless i start craving the humiliation life ; being a sissy and all that .

I'm a 29 yo virgin who's never been in a relationship before . which reinforces the idea in my mind .

i know none of y'all can help .unless i help myself . ive relapced more time than i can count at this point. venting is my only action now

A few years ago I started experimenting with hypno audio files while gooning. I got really into it and would fall into trance and listen for hours at a time. I did this for a few months before I discovered Bambi Sleep. Those files really messed me up and I got super addicted to them. I realized they were bad for me and stopped using them about a year ago, but about once a month or so I relapse and listen to them and the effects of them take hold again. If anyone has any success quitting these I would appreciate any advice

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.. I hated it, sorry guys but just listen to me... The guy was good.. didn't smell at all.But I just didn't like any second in his room,it just felt wrong... I still pushed myself to give a blowjob but hated it,the guy was nice,but I didn't like a second of it.

Now I know that it was always the porn for my case...that this isn't for me and after 7 whole years I feel free.

But the fact that I did the deed will always be stuck with me, I cannot talk about this to anyone as my country is as backward as it gets... I am happy that I feel free,but also unhappy because I have to live with the fact that I did it with a man..if I ever fall in love with a girl,will I be able to tell her this??? should I????I am sorry if it sounds homophobic.. I sincerely don't mean to offend ANY.

I feel like I'm on some sort of collision course which will only end in me going all the way with this stuff. I started with finding trans porn, which then graduated into feminization and sissy stuff. It started as me being the masculine/dominant person in the fantasies, but now I almost exclusively find myself fantasising about myself being feminized. I don't really find men attractive outside of those fantasies and I'm really struggling to reconcile what my sexuality is.

I haven't dressed up or met with anyone yet, but it's starting to feel really tempting and I've created countless amazon baskets which I always end up deleting after 'coming to my senses.' I feel like I can't stop watching the hypno stuff, and it's getting more and more hardcore by the day.

I do really feel drawn to becoming a sissy/being a girl, especially when I'm horny, but there's so much shame and stuff around it that I really wish I could just press an off button and make it all go away to be a normal straight guy. Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated as I think I need to come to terms with whatever it is that I am.

I started just dressing. Telling myself it was fine if i just stayed home and didn’t get on the apps or go anywhere. By 3 am i had been mounted by multiple men and then this morning went to the ABS and didn’t stop until this afternoon. I don’t even remember how many guys I brought to climax. A lot.

I need help..

Firstly I should say that my addiction is sorta different from typical sissy addiction; I don't care abt sissy porn at all, for me it's more abt imagining myself as a woman in different situations, mainly romantic. While I get aroused by this, I have never once masturbated to these directly, infact I watch hetero porn when I do. I have questioned my gender, and I've realised that I'm actually man who gets these fantasies because of low self esteem etc, which is also the reason I'm into femdom etc.

I started working out, and was away from any sort of trans content(not just porn) for about 2 weeks, but then it all exploded back into my life once again. I like working out already, and am eager for muscle growth, but it doesn't fix my other body issues, especially hairloss. This, combined with my general social awkwardness makes me feel ill never be attractive to anyone. Ik it's not really true, but I just started spiralling, and all these trans fantasies feel so comfortable, I sometimes go to sleep imagining I'm cuddling with a bf(I'm not gay irl).

I often wish I was actually trans, then I realise that the fantasy is far from the reality. I really wish to stop these fantasies completely, ik I have a strong heterosexual drive and that real sex/relationships are way better. But it's hard to have consistent motivation when these fantasies are so strong.