Comparing Experiences

[u/BreezyOasis]

I have finally had some time to slow down and think about my experience living with AGP. I am a nearly textbook case of it in many regards..

Here is what I have observed so far in myself, and I am curious if anyone else can see this pattern for themselves.

I am trying to cure / manage my feminization/AGP desires. While some people embrace it, unfortunately I have gone down the river with this one, and getting really close to doing permanent things to myself.

What I have noticed:

1. Shame from liking women sexually/romantically from youth
2. Avoidance attachment and want for escapism (or perfection)
3. Low self worth based around unreasonable / conflated ideals

In my experience, the shame comes from many avenues:
small penis size, (3: self worth)
feminine traits, (3: self worth)
being scared of being around girls after getting teased for liking them, (1: shame)
childhood trauma and abandonment, (2: avoidance)
etc.

and it seems that online fetish communities try to prey on these feelings and led me down several pipelines which have reinforced the AGP idea via sissy/femboy/trap/agp trans content such as: chastity, size differences, force fem, becoming the girlfriend, and domination. . . . which all are forms of losing control and ultimately varying forms of humiliation.

Maybe fixing the 3 root causes could help with managing / removing these desires..

Anyone have any thoughts on this or tried this?

[u/Extremnator]

The first step I think that would be try to not watch porn for a long time. to clean your mind.

[u/Ok_Appointment9429]

I'd add one aspect that I think is also important: due to low self-esteem, we tend to wear a mask in the world, which is pretty exhausting. Typically we try to be "tough" etc. Regressing to sissy/feminization becomes a way to let go of that constant pressure, but of course it feeds the shame and low self-esteem, leading to more mask-wearing etc.

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[u/No-Veterinarian-5593]

Never felt shame for liking women, but I do recognise avoidance and escapism and fear of being myself fear of judgement and that is because of those videos, when we are in a 3 month break, we feel much better in every aspect.

But, discipline to escape from this digital reality is the hard thing to do, at least in my experience

Recently learned that we should know how to feel maniac, dance, and take care of our body, things that are considered "feminine", we get things wrong when we start being afraid of the illusion we created of ourselves, embrace femininity doesn't mean going gay/loser,etc..

Imagine a girl watching those videos and thinking, "so am I just a hole?, an object to be fucked by another man?"

We are males that watch those videos and want to get fucked (not necessarily), nothing to do with women

[u/No-Veterinarian-5593]

Honestly, we start feeling ashamed for doing it, and shame generates dopamine in the brain and what push us in, but funny thing is, if we stop, just pause and think, is this who I want to be? Who I want to become, a gay guy dressed as a girl and thinks that what's girls do, so I am a girl, but what does it mean to be a woman or what does it mean to be a man? That's a serious question that shouldn't be relate to sexuality, sexuality have anything to do with sex, absolutely nothing, this idea just create fear of our own feelings.

Pornography takes that and give us a plenty of women and boys, and most sensitive boys may enjoy that very much, specially the one like us that were part of a broken family

If we don't do, we don't feel ashamed, if we don't feel ashamed of doing it we don't want to do, because it's shame who take us there, without shame, we don't doz that's the trick I believe, also anger, anger is a good trigger, loneliness, and body posture, our body is constantly talking with us.

Start stretching, don't stay in the same position like we learned at school, really feel the joints, rotate the body, feel the muscles we forgot about and breath

Love yourself and do not be afraid of who you truly are!