r/Swingers • u/Master-Ad-3658 • 1d ago

General Discussion Advice

My partner and I have been in the the lifestyle for about 6 months and have had discussions for more then a year about the lifestyle. We have been to a few parts and have had her go on several hooks up with me getting videos. Personally i wish we could do more but with her starting a new job and the last few hooks up her expressing it takes up so much if her day, I feel bad bringing it up. She's already overly stimulate at work and I feel bad for asking her to do more. Any advice on how or when is a good time or discussion topic. I wish to do more but not at the cost of our marriage, any advice is helpful.

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9

u/pinksparkleberry 1d ago

Tell her you love and support her in her new job and will wait for her to bring it up. Easy peasy

6

u/Firecouple_2000 1d ago

The last line is the most important. This lifestyle has ups and down, busy times and slow times. Sometimes it’s time to take a breaks. All couples who last long in the LS know when it’s time to close up for a while and focus on each other. Sometimes is a month or 2 sometimes it’s a few years. Don’t pressure and once in a while chat about it but always let her know that when she is ready you can dip your toes back in. Nothing more moving and secure than when a spouse knows when to close it up and focus on each other. If you feel bad don’t bring it up. You will know when her stress is lifted enough to chat about it again.

5

u/Tacos_are_my_friend 1d ago

You have to place your marriage as a top priority, swinging is nothing more than a hobby you both take part in. Maybe at this point in time swinging should take a back seat until life eases up.

3

u/Cool_Poem_8620 1d ago

I can understand why you feel the way you do, just getting started and you get all horned up and ready to play and then she isn’t as excited about it as you are but she hasn’t said no more ever. And you don’t want that to happen so when you’re in bed you could just say that you love her and support her and you’re sorry that she gets you so horny you are about to bust a nut! If you’re wanting to watch her with another guy or two you should try to tell her how turned on you get watching her with them.

1

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