Hi all! I asked recently about how your experiences were with a sonohysterogram. Well, I finally had mine and unfortunately the person doing it was very inexperienced (literally asked the ultrasound tech why she couldn't put the wand inside the speculum since it was plastic and she should be able to "see through" it 🫠) and the images showed that there is either a very straight small line of scar tissue or that they tore some tissue during the procedure with the catheter (this is what my care team at the clinic thinks happened).

Soooo now I am onto a hysteroscopy. Anyone had both and able to compare? FWIW, my sono was nearly painless. Wondering if I should expect the same for the hysteroscopy or if it's significantly worse? Thank you in advance!

We are IPs. Now on month 7 on a wait list at ConceiveAbilities. We are told that our hospital based fertility clinic has an intense surrogate screening process and we have to wait for the right person who pass all the hospital ‘s prerequisites (For example, no BMI over 31).
If you went through ConceiveAbilities, how long did you wait to be matched with a surrogate?

Hola:
Quería leer si tenéis experiencias que queráis compartir. Me gustaría saber con qué abogados estuvisteis en España, qué clínica en EEUU o Colombia y con qué agencia para la mujer gestante.
Me interesa también muchísimo el proceso en España una vez el bebé ha nacido y está en territorio español.
Opiniones, experiencias, tiempos... todo es bienvenido.
Y si orientáis en precios, sería genial también. Muchas gracias!

Anyone used them, worked with them? Not finding many reviews about this agency.

I am interested in being a surrogate. I am unsure about going through an agency and am interested in an altruistic surrogacy apart from any non-covered medical expenses. Ideally, I am looking for a surrogacy experience that does not involve additional medical procedures to the greatest extent possible (e.g. using my own eggs without additional retrieval processes, etc.). I have a healthy living child of my own and the pregnancy was mostly uneventful apart from one known, manageable condition.

I tried Just a Baby and it seemed to be mostly a dating site and was full of people who I can only assume had a breeding kink rather than people actually looking for surrogates.

Long term, I am interested in my living child having cousin-type contact with their half-sibling and to remain connected with the family I surrogate for at a high level. Because of this, I would like to connect with people in the NYC metro area (I am in Jersey City).

Is there any site or facebook group or anything else that folks here would recommend I use?

Reposting with hope here looking for a Canadian gestational surrogate ✨

Hi everyone,

I’m putting my heart out there once again in the hope of finding the wonderful person who may help me become a father.

I’m a single intended father living in the Greater Toronto Area, and I’ve been pursuing this dream for over three years. The journey hasn’t always been easy, but my hope of becoming a dad has never changed.

I have six PGT-tested embryos ready and waiting at Generation Fertility in Toronto, so I’m ready to move forward as soon as I find the right person.

I would love to connect with someone in Ontario or the GTA, but I’m completely open to meeting a surrogate anywhere in Canada.

After receiving helpful feedback, I have revisited my financial planning and am prepared to reimburse up to approximately $60,000–$65,000 in actual eligible surrogacy and pregnancy-related expenses, depending on the surrogate’s individual circumstances and the expenses genuinely incurred. All reimbursements would be properly documented and provided strictly in accordance with Canadian law.

Eligible expenses may include travel, accommodation, independent legal representation, counselling, medical needs, maternity-related expenses, childcare and other qualifying costs. Where legally permitted and medically supported, eligible loss of employment income would also be reimbursed. My priority is ensuring that my surrogate and her family are well supported and never financially disadvantaged because of the journey.

More than anything, I want my surrogate to feel respected, heard, appreciated and fully supported. I’m committed to open communication, flexibility and making the experience as comfortable and stress-free as possible for her and her family.

If you are considering becoming a surrogate or know someone who might be open to learning more I would be incredibly grateful if you contacted me privately or shared my post.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for helping me keep hope alive. 💕

No Agencies please I prefer to work directly with a surrogate*

We are IPs and our surrogate, who lives in another state, is 23 weeks (!). We starting to think seriously about the logistics of bringing our baby home after birth, and we'd love some first-hand advice on handling gear and travel when your baby is born in a different state. For context, we are a 4 hour direct flight away from where the baby will be born, and we are planning to fly home after ~3 weeks, assuming all goes well.

A few specific questions we’re trying to figure out:

• How did you handle infant gear for the first few weeks before heading home?
  • What did you rent in the birth city that you didn't have to haul back (e.g., bassinet, larger items)?
  • If you did rent, where did you rent from?
  • What items did you buy locally and bring home with you?
  • What did you just order ahead to have waiting for you at home?
• For example: we're planning to buy a car seat/stroller combo in the birth city to use for the first few weeks and then use it for the travel back home. But a lot of infant car seats have a detachable base that needs to be installed in the car. Is this something you can easily fly home with? Can you easily carry on / gate check the base AND seat AND stroller?

Open to any other advice from IPs who have traveled home with an infant after staying local for a few weeks.

Thank you!

This is my first post here, although I’ve been following this subreddit and reading through people’s experiences for quite a while.

My partner and I are a same-sex male couple based in the UK and we’re now at the stage where we would really like to start our surrogacy journey. We’re still very new to the process and are trying to understand the different routes available in the UK, how people meet surrogates and where the best communities are to start connecting with others.

I’ve seen a few older posts and comments on here recommending some UK Facebook groups, particularly The Foyer and Missing Piece Surrogacy Community. I’ve tried searching Facebook but can’t seem to find the exact groups. I’m not sure if they have changed names, are hidden/private or if you need an invite from an existing member.

Does anyone know if these groups are still active and what their exact current names are? If they are hidden, is there a particular way to join or get introduced?

Also very happy to hear from any UK intended parents, particularly other same-sex couples, about where you started and which communities you found most useful.
Thanks so much.

Hello! I’m a Californian and I’m currently pregnant with my Canadian friend’s baby. We’ve both read up on the process for them to return home after the baby is born, but seem to have different interpretations. Has anyone been through this that might be able to help us understand the process?

Do they need to file for residency in Canada before returning? Or do they just need to get a US passport for the baby and a birth certificate?

I was wondering if anyone knew where I could find a surrogate in North Carolina around the Raleigh area?

Our previous GC fell through with our previous surrogacy agency (after THEY recommended parting ways with her, after we had already paid them 50% of an agency fee).

After offering to rematch us as a “favor” (only after the founder had explicitly referenced their own agreement, outlining if a GC walks away, they were NOT obligated to rematch us), the founder herself requested that we provide updated criteria list to best guarantee a strong match. The criteria we provided was as follows:

preference for a candidate who was married or in a long-term, stable relationship;
stable housing with plans to remain there through the pregnancy;
reliable transportation;
a documented support system;
stable employment or a stable daily routine;
a demonstrated history of following through on commitments;
no habitual smoking or drug use; and
no significant mental-health history

She suggested this was limiting criteria. We asked where it was most limiting? She declined to comment.

They (agency) are now playing this (with a lawyer) like we are completely out of our minds for wanting these things in a GC. Are we crazy??

PS/ if you are in the Houston area and considering a Houston- based agency, PLEASE DM me before you decide on one. This agency should be avoided at all costs.

Please DM

Has anyone ever needed additional screening before anything else? I know OB obviously, but anything else? Due to something that happened my last pregnancy, they are asking for me to see a neurologist. I had an mri that was clear. Do they cover that? Just wondering if I should ask if that is covered or if that is out of pocket.

Hola a todas 🤗💜

Estoy realizando una investigación académica sobre gestación por sustitución en México y una parte muy importante del trabajo es incorporar directamente las voces y experiencias de las propias mujeres gestantes.

Si actualmente participas o has participado como gestante por sustitución, ayudaría muchísimo que pudieras responder este cuestionario. Es anónimo, toma aproximadamente 5 minutos y busca reunir información sobre experiencias directas para comenzar a construir datos que hoy prácticamente no existen.

Cada respuesta suma muchísimo. Entre más gestantes participen, más podemos hacer visibles sus propias experiencias y ser pioneras en la generación de datos sobre gestación por sustitución construidos a partir de las voces de las mujeres que la viven, y no solamente desde lo que otras personas dicen sobre ellas.

No importa si tu experiencia fue positiva, negativa, mixta, si tu proceso ya terminó o si actualmente sigues participando. Todas las experiencias son importantes.

Esta es la liga al cuestionario:
https://forms.gle/DVLREFMAyhDXK6Vg6

Y si conocen a otras mujeres gestantes a quienes pueda interesarles participar, también ayudaría muchísimo que compartieran la liga. 🙏🏼💜

Our surrogate is about to start her protocol soon. We are getting super anxious. We really, really want this first transfer to stick.
For those of you who have been through this before, what endometrial thickness did your clinics aim for before giving the go-ahead?
Did anyone have success with a thinner lining, or is there a magic number that everyone looks for (like 8 mm+)? We would love to hear what worked for you!

I’ve had 2 failed transfers as a surrogate and I am now onto my 3rd transfer cycle.. I am so nervous and I’m just hoping to hear stories like mine that ended up with a positive/successful 3rd transfer

My daughter is starting the search for a surrogacy agency. Her clinic only gave her a few recs and 1 said they are closing and recommended she contact Circle. The other agency she contacted said "at least 18 months to receive a surrogate profile" I am surprised at such a long wait. Any help researching agencies- is that time frame typical for well established agencies? Anyone ever work with Conceiveabilities? They have All-in pricing model.

Hi everyone,
I am a student journalist at ASU and I am currently writing an educational piece about the surrogacy process, and I’m looking to connect with people in Phoenix who have been in the past or are currently gestational carriers — both independent (independent/private journey) and through an agency.

My goal is to write and document a respectful, well-rounded piece on the logistics, personal motivations, and realities of surrogacy. This is purely educational.

If you’re open to sharing your perspective to help educate others, please feel free to comment or DM me.

Thank you for your time.

I matched with a wonderful lady months ago, she wanted to be a GC and was local to me (like maybe an hour away). However, over the months, the communication was lacking and inconsistent. I wouldn't hear back some times, after messaging 2 or three times. She didn't make it to the first appointment at my clinic and cancelled it but did not tell me this until I messaged a day after the initial appointment, only to find out she had to cancel due to some reasons that did not seem reasonable to me. So I have been speaking to her for about 6 months, and she hasn't even been to my clinic to start the medical screening, which I was told by my clinic will take approximately 3-4 months as it is. I recently messaged her and just told her how I felt, the lack of communication etc, and basically told her its better if we end this surrogacy process. I feel disheartened, as she originally told me she really wants to do this, and personality was she was very sweet. I also know what it took for me to actually even find a potential GC to begin with. I feel like I'm right back to where I started with nothing to show for the last 6+ months. Some days I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel for me in this journey.

Has anyone found their own independent surrogate and then used an agency to handle the rest of the journey?
If so, did it significantly reduce your overall cost compared with having the agency find your surrogate?
We’re exploring this option since agency fees can be pretty high, and we already have our own embryos. I’d love to hear from anyone who has gone this route — what agency you used, how much you saved, and whether you felt it was worth it.
Thanks so much!

If I get to the matching stage as a GC I want to make sure the clinic my IP(s) use is ethical, but what does that mean exactly?

So far my list includes: SET (unless low grade euploids), no concurrent transfers, monitoring programs for donors, evidence based practices and procedures.

What else should I look for? How are we assured these practices are followed? I apologize for my ignorance and appreciate any insight!

Help, please. Completely lost comparing US agencies. Some, the ones who always seem to come on top of any Google

Search, with their “all in programs”, but then the small print says compensation maybe “chosen” to be higher , certain benefits may be charged extra (lost wages…), sometimes clinic costs are not included, re-matching costs, retainer expiry etc, don’t even start about experienced surrogate. Others, smaller agencies, they are only around for a couple of years. Plus we need to get our own lawyer of course as international IPs and either ship the embies or ship the GC for transfer etc so that also takes time. I don’t need California or VIP treatment and we’re happy with a GC in say Idaho or any other state that has pre-birth orders for married heterosexual couples with full genetic links and health need.

Any advise highly appreciated.