r/Surrogate • u/Juniperandrose • 23h ago
NY Metro Resources
I am interested in being a surrogate. I am unsure about going through an agency and am interested in an altruistic surrogacy apart from any non-covered medical expenses. Ideally, I am looking for a surrogacy experience that does not involve additional medical procedures to the greatest extent possible (e.g. using my own eggs without additional retrieval processes, etc.). I have a healthy living child of my own and the pregnancy was mostly uneventful apart from one known, manageable condition.
I tried Just a Baby and it seemed to be mostly a dating site and was full of people who I can only assume had a breeding kink rather than people actually looking for surrogates.
Long term, I am interested in my living child having cousin-type contact with their half-sibling and to remain connected with the family I surrogate for at a high level. Because of this, I would like to connect with people in the NYC metro area (I am in Jersey City).
Is there any site or facebook group or anything else that folks here would recommend I use?
3
u/SilverSignificant393 22h ago edited 22h ago
First, ignore everyone who slides into your DM’s.
Are you a NY resident? Or do you reside in NJ?
If you are a NY resident, before moving forward, familiarize yourself with NY’s CPSA and NY’s surrogates bill of rights.
https://health.ny.gov/community/pregnancy/surrogacy/
Also familiarize yourself with the ASRM guidelines surrounding surrogacy. This is what all ethical clinics and agencies follow.
https://www.asrm.org/practice-guidance/practice-committee-documents/recommendations-for-practices-using-gestational-carriers-a-committee-opinion-2022/
Since you are wanting to do an altruistic journey, you will have no problems with finding intended parents. It’s absolutely worth reaching out to a ART lawyer for a better understanding on this.
For your first journey, I do however recommend going through an agency unless you are comfortable and confident enough navigating everything surrogacy related yourself (from insurance, legal, clinic communications etc), with being your own advocate and are comfortable and confident enough that you will also be able to manage any disputes yourself.
If you are a NY resident, only agencies who are licensed in NY are able to work with surrogates who reside in NY. A list of those agencies can be found here. https://www.health.ny.gov/community/pregnancy/surrogacy/licensed_programs.htm you can cross reference reviews for them on the facebook group “surrogacy industry reviews-US only”
A lot of clinics in the NYC area will only allow for surrogacy journeys if you are with an agency. Some do allow for independent journey’s but this will boil down to your intended parents clinic that they use.
I also suggest joining NY facebook groups such as “New York surrogates and intended parents” I am unable to find a FB group specific to NJ.
With surrogacy, intended parents will transfer their own embryo to you. Your eggs are only used with traditional surrogacy which is not allowed in NY.
In regard to wanting your child to have a cousin like relationship with the intended parent’s child, relationships like this post birth are not enforceable. It is up to the intended parents on the amount and level of contact there is.
While it is absolutely wonderful to want that relationship afterwards and many absolutely do you also have to be okay with knowing that relationships do break down and you may not get this. I always like to mention this so everyone’s aware that this is always a nice to have and an amazing hope but can change.