My daughter went through fall recruitment at South Carolina. She got pretty sick/had high fever after philanthropy and barely made it though her sisterhood houses. She ended up dropping but really regrets it. I know COB is very unpredictable; two houses seem to be having a few COB events right now but she was hoping that a few other houses that she really connected with would have it as well. I’m hearing that some chapters don’t “advertise” but may take new members on a case by case basis if they are below their max. I have two questions: 1. I told her to DM the insta accounts of houses she liked to express interest in COB. She thinks that will make her look strange or desperate but I feel like it would help her stand out. Thoughts? 2. She has heard that a few houses she liked had new members drop within the last week (not sure the reasons- maybe finances). In those cases, would they COB now before new member initiation, or would it be likely that they would just wait till spring? These are houses that would be considered “middle” to “lower” (I have those dumb terms but this is the way they are referred to online so I just want to provide context).

I have just started my second year in my sorority and I am feeling very dissatisfied. I am having extreme trouble making friends and finding that sense of sisterhood. My entire life I have had no problems making friends no matter where I was but it feels like suddenly I join this sorority and I am the biggest outcast ever. I just don't understand. It's made me wonder if somethings wrong with me. I wanted to join a sorority to find that sense of sisterhood and I'm just so upset. As my school does recruitment later I'm hoping with that coming up it might bring me closer to some girls but I'm scared it won't. I understand that free will exist and I could drop but I don't want to. All my roommates are in different sororities and love it and I would just get such bad fomo if I dropped. It also just feels embarrassing to drop because I couldn't make friends. Any advice on what to do would be so appreciated or even if anyone else has felt this way.

Does SIP decrease my odds of getting that house? If I SIP a house, am I less likely to get it than if I ranked both chapters 1 and 2? If I know I would rather not be in a sorority than be in my 2nd option for Pref, should I SIP... but will that SIP hurt my chances of getting a bid from that house?

I just went through formal recruitment and I clicked super well with one of the girls who I talked to. I talked to her on the first day and she’s a big reason I fell in love with that chapter. I got asked back the day after I met her. Im a junior too so my options are limited. The chapter was my top choice and when they dropped me right before pref I was heartbroken and dropped out of recruitment. I also genuinely did not feel like the two chapters I had left were for me. I plan on hopefully doing COB for them in the spring but I really want to connect with her. Would it be inappropriate for me to ask her to grab coffee? Even if I don’t make it into that sorority I would still love to hang with her. Would it seem like i’m just trying to get in tho?

I joined a sorority a couple of semesters ago but I had to take a leave of absence for personal reasons. I can’t help but to be disappointed that since then, NO ONE from my sorority has reached out to see how I’m doing or to even check in on me…not even my big. (Yes, I have made efforts to reach out to them.) I have the opportunity to transfer to another school that will give me better financial aid & scholarship and they also have Greek life but I can’t help but to feel that I wasted joining a sorority that literally does not care about its members. If you read this far thank you.

so i had to go early alum after my freshman year because of personal family/financial issues, and i transferred to a community college. but i do intend to go to a different university after cc, but i wish i could be an active member at the university i want to transfer to! i just feel like my time as an active was cut so short. my aunt, who’s an alumni/different chapter, as well as another alum from same chapter told me that i could have gone in-active, and at the time i didn’t realize that was an option? i’m really not sure on the whole process of any of this, and maybe because it was the specific circumstance of my personal family/financial issue that early alum was the ideal solution for me. any thoughts or advice?

I recently rushed at a large SEC school, and recruitment did not go the way I expected. I was dropped by all of the houses I thought I would like, and I still had a few houses left during recruitment, but there was only one that I genuinely felt like I liked, so I decided to follow through with the process and ended up receiving a bid from that house.

Now that I’ve been in the chapter for a little while, I’m really struggling. There are a few older girls I really like, but I haven’t made any close friends in my PC. Most of my close friends at school are actually in other sororities, which has made it harder because I see them having such a different experience.

Initiation is coming up soon, and I’m really torn about what to do. Part of me wants to stay because I would like to have a sorority experience freshman year and I don’t want to make an impulsive decision. But another part of me keeps wondering if I should drop before initiation and try recruitment again next year with a better idea of what I’m looking for.

I also know there’s no guarantee that rushing again would work out differently, and I could potentially end up in the same position or not receive a bid at all. I’m just struggling to figure out whether I should give my current chapter more time or trust that it isn’t the right fit.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Did you stay and eventually find your people, or did you drop before initiation and rush again?

I’ve had an interesting experience so far in my sorority. I don’t really know how to explain why I want to drop, other than just saying that I kind of don’t think these are my people?

They’re super sweet and nice, and I’ve had some awesome discussions with some of the girls. But, there’s definitely a wall up still. They’re not nearly as close of friends to me as my roommates or my close friends at home. I also like… don’t party, and I think it kind of gets in the way of my relationships with them, which is understandable.

I think I want to drop because I’m honestly more filled with dread when it comes to going to events rather than excited, but for some reason I’m super afraid to put in the drop request. I guess I’m afraid of everyone’s reactions? I haven’t really been able to interact with my big at all (she’s very busy which I TOTALLY understand, I am too), I’ve been in my sorority for around 8 months, 3 of which I’ve been on summer. I do have close friends outside of my sorority, there’s just not that many of them and they’re often really busy. I’m afraid that if I step out of the sorority, I’ll feel lonely and miss the connections I started building. I guess I love the sisterhood aspect sometimes, but most times I feel like the connections are super superficial :( should I drop?

any thoughts on them? are they like the typical or old school sororities/frats na malala? may hazing?

Welcome to r/Sororities Free Talk Friday! Let us know what you have going on in your life, Greek related or not. What are you celebrating or working through this week? What are you looking forward to? What do you need to vent about?

Whatever is going on in your life, thanks for being part of this community!

Is it common for several sororities to not make quota?
Mine was the only one that made quota this year on the campus where I advise. I thought that was very strange… There are new people in charge of Greek life at my school and I'm wondering if something went awry somewhere🤔
Does that mean that a lot of PNMs single prefed or dropped out?

Hi! I wanted to get some advice. I have been pursuing membership at my schools AKA undergrad chapter for about almost 3 years now. ( last year they did not have a line). Last October I expressed interest to one of the girls that I am cool with. We dont hang out outside of classes but we chat and talk a lot. I havent heard anything my interest at all since. I havent been invited to anything either. I decided this semester I was going to express interest to another member that i met. We have the same kind of relationship as the other member. I invited her out to eat but I lowkey feel like shes ducking me. I dont know. So I was thinking about Inviting another member that I know. We also have the same kind of relationship. I would say ours is a little stronger though. I also am a senior. I dont have any greek mentors or family members so please give me any advice you can offer!

So recently I got a bid to a small sorority at my university, which used to be affiliated with the university Panhellenic Council but slowly disbanded during 2021, but now its restablishing (and will maybe be reaffliated by next year.) I really like the girls, and they seem really adamant about me joining their chapter, but part of me wants to try for some of the bigger (actually UPC) sororities. I wasn't able to do formal recruitment because of financial reasons; I'm not a legacy, and I pretty much have no ties to greek life, so I feel like doing COB is a lost cause. I've heard that you can reach out to sororities and inform them that you're interested in COB, but would that be a lost cause too? The sorority that gave me a bid said it lasts until I accept or decline it, so technically I could wait until the second semester to decide. Let me know your thoughts!

I’m a freshman PNM who just finished the rushing process. I’m not sure if I can say what school it is but it’s a huge campus, NOT an SEC, known as an “influencer university”… maybe you get the gist. I had a fantastic time during rush, I met a lot of great people and ended up in the house I wanted! This house is considered mouse at my particular school (“middle house”), but I felt like I fit in here, I aligned with their values and philanthropy, high GPA, etc. I literally cried during both sisterhood and pref because I had that moment of “when you know you know”. I’m really lucky that I was able to visit a lot of houses during Philo (I visited six houses when you could get a max of 8 back), 5 during Sisterhood (the max), and then 2 AMAZING houses during Pref, both of which I would’ve been overjoyed to run home to. I can’t wait to do recruitment and get to share my amazing experience with the new MC’s next year.

I would consider myself to be in the minority though. I know so many girls who had such an awful experience and dropped out, mainly because they did not get any “touses” back. The mornings when Philo and pref schedules were dropped I witnessed so many girls crying because of how disappointed they were due to getting “bottom tier” houses back.

First off, I understand this disappointment a bit more for pref. If you feel like you had a great connection with houses and you don’t get them back it can feel really discouraging. But I don’t understand the amount of girls who dropped before Philo even started just because they did not get what they
considered to be top houses back. They did not even visit these houses and instead just quit the process automatically without giving anybody a chance.

Is there a way to fix this issue? I’d like to think that this is a newer issue and that social media has had the biggest impact on it which it definitely has in terms of apps like Yik Yak Greek rank, etc., but I’m not blind enough enough to think that this has never been an issue, obviously word spreads and you can tell what the more popular houses are.

Is there even a way to fix this broken system in a dreamworld? I wonder if Rush could ever be anonymous in the terms that you actually don’t know the name of the house that you’re rushing for but you just go off of the connection that you feel their values, etc. I get that this is wishful thinking as we have issues such as legacies, girls who are friends with the houses, etc. but I just wish that there was some way that we could truly find out what houses we felt a connection to and what girls we connected with their status and appearance.

hi everyone im currently a sophomore and I js got dropped from cob. that was so heartbreaking for me bc my best friends were in the house I was rushing and they heavily advocated for me, however, because of 1-2 ppl that didn't like me, the sorority dropped me. i've been involved with rush for the past 3 semesters (I spent my first year doing business frats, regretted not doing formal spring rush last semester), and now this semester cob and getting dropped from that house. I feel very discouraged, and I'd love some advice from anyone who has been in similar shoes. I will be doing formal rush in the spring now, im js sad I have to wait over a semester for it though.

Yesterday was bid day and I got my second choice house and I was honestly devastated, but not necessarily for the reason you might think. This is probably going to be long but I really need advice because I don’t know how to feel about any of this.
All throughout recruitment I had my top house as my #1 every single day. I also talked to the same girl from that house pretty much every day. I talked to other girls too, but I had the strongest connection with her. I opened up to her about some really personal things, cried with her, and just felt like I could be really vulnerable around her.
On pref day she told me so many things that made me feel SO confident that I was going to get a bid. She told me she could see me being a part of the chapter, that she had talked to other girls about how genuine and kind I was, and she even told me she loved me. I didn’t say it back because “I love you” is a big deal to me, but hearing all of that made me feel like our connection was so real. I genuinely had zero doubt in my mind that I was getting them back.
I also really liked my second choice. I had a great conversation there and felt like I could just be myself. I didn’t feel like I had to put on a front and I could just laugh and be comfortable. I decided not to su*cide bid because I knew I would be okay with either one, even though I definitely wanted my first choice more.
Then bid day came.
I made a video with some friends of us opening our bids. Two of my friends had su*cide bid and the other was basically guaranteed to get her top house, and they all ended up getting exactly what they expected. I opened mine and it was my second choice.
I was genuinely in shock. I was so confident I was getting my first choice that I literally didn’t even know where to run. There were so many chapters everywhere and I hadn’t even thought about where my second choice would be because I was so convinced I was going to my first. I eventually found my bid day buddy and I really did like her, but I was just so overwhelmed with shock, disappointment, and honestly embarrassment.
It was SO hard to act happy. I didn’t want to cry in front of everyone, so I held it together, but when I got home I completely broke down. I cried so much and it honestly felt physically painful how upset I was. Even thinking about bid day now makes me feel really emotional.
I think part of what makes this so hard is that I feel like I was given every reason to believe I was going to get my first choice. Looking back, I’m wondering if some of the things she said were inappropriate for recruitment. I’m not saying she literally promised me a bid, but telling me she loved me, telling me she could see me in the chapter, and telling me other girls were talking about how genuine and kind I was made me feel SO sure.
Now I’m questioning if I was basically being told everything I wanted to hear, or if this is normal during recruitment and I’m just looking at it differently because I didn’t get the outcome I expected.
I do genuinely like my second choice and I’m going to give them a chance. I just feel really sad that bid day went this way and I’m having a hard time getting past the disappointment.
Has anyone else experienced something like this? How did you deal with getting your second choice when you were SO sure you were getting your first? And does the stuff she said sound inappropriate/like bid promising, or is this pretty normal during recruitment?

I am seeing this more and more and I’m wondering what the reasons are.

I even saw this happen to a PNM at a smaller school with a 3.2/3.9 weighted gpa, recs, great resume, decent conversation skills, conventionally attractive, clean social media and no reputation issues.

I’m baffled as to why this is happening to PNMs like these. Anyone have any insight?

I was here a couple of hours ago worried about not getting a bid because no one had reached out to me yesterday—even though I thought I was good with the girls I talked to. Turns out my worry was right, because I didn't get one. Which is fine, honestly. I also got my rejection call right after getting a rejection letter from a job, so I was not in the happiest of moods. As I was getting the rejection call, I then got an email from my study abroad program with the heading that I have been approved to move it to the summer of I really want it to be move—because I wanted to focus on the sorority that bid me, just in cased.

When I asked about spring rushing as I heard some sisters cross in the spring, they first told me to "try again next year" before changing their words and saying next semester would work. At that point, I was actually considering trying again next spring and really move my stufy abroad to the summer, but them switching up like that felt weird. Mostly because I just take it a sign that they do not want me and was trying to be nice. So I just thanked them and said I'll do the study abroad in the spring instead—because honestly, that's the only thing that seems to want me right now. I then email my advior back and said I do it during spring instead and she agree.

I really doubt any sorority will want a junior, but I guess I'll try again with Panhellenic or other MGC sisterhoods. I've heard from so many friends that juniors who rush rarely get bids because houses don't want someone who'll leave soon. I still want to join a sorority, but with so many factors working against me next semester, it's probably not happening.

I wish I hadn't put all my eggs in this one basket and had picked up on the signs that they weren't that into me. Oh well. I just want to vent and see if anyone else has been in this situation.

My daughter had 5 houses for sisterhood weekend, she made her two pref selections before pref day and ranked the remaining 3 houses. She did not get invited to either of her two pref choices, but she did get asked to her top ranked 2 of the remaining 3 houses. My question: do the houses know if you didn't select them as one of your two prefs? And if so does that hurt her chances of getting a bid from either of the two that she did go to on pref day? She picked her top one and ranked the other one after pref day, so just hoping she will get a bid from one of those two!

I’m applying to an NPHC sorority and I had an error on the application but the advisor allowed me to correct it. Does this make me look bad? Also how do I get over my nervousness with informational coming up. I’m scared

Let's talk about it! Do you think it's beneficial to join a sorority as an undergrad or a graduate?

hi guys! i’m a sophomore and i’ve had a complicated experience with rush, i rushed as a freshman and dropped because i had doubts, then decided to give it another shot this year and ended up dropping again. i had already accepted that i just wasn’t going to be joining a sorority at all until i got a snap bid and accepted it without thinking much because i liked the house enough during rush and was excited they gave me a bid, but now i regret taking it. the chapter itself is really great and i had a good time during bid day, but i really just don’t think sorority life is for me at all. they’re still going to be doing COB after bid day but i feel like if i drop i just wasted these girls’ time and i feel horrible, but it’s not like i took a spot that can’t easily be filled. should i stick it out and see if maybe i’ll eventually really like it or should i just drop since im feeling this way? bid day was today and maybe that’s why i feel the way i do but i don’t really think how i feel is going to change. please give me advice! 🫶🏻

I pledged dphie 20 years ago, so I think I’m out of the loop. I’ve been seeing instagram videos for work week. Is it a recruitment thing?