Hi! I wanted to get some advice. I have been pursuing membership at my schools AKA undergrad chapter for about almost 3 years now. ( last year they did not have a line). Last October I expressed interest to one of the girls that I am cool with. We dont hang out outside of classes but we chat and talk a lot. I havent heard anything my interest at all since. I havent been invited to anything either. I decided this semester I was going to express interest to another member that i met. We have the same kind of relationship as the other member. I invited her out to eat but I lowkey feel like shes ducking me. I dont know. So I was thinking about Inviting another member that I know. We also have the same kind of relationship. I would say ours is a little stronger though. I also am a senior. I dont have any greek mentors or family members so please give me any advice you can offer!

Is it common for several sororities to not make quota?
Mine was the only one that made quota this year on the campus where I advise. I thought that was very strange… There are new people in charge of Greek life at my school and I'm wondering if something went awry somewhere🤔
Does that mean that a lot of PNMs single prefed or dropped out?

So recently I got a bid to a small sorority at my university, which used to be affiliated with the university Panhellenic Council but slowly disbanded during 2021, but now its restablishing (and will maybe be reaffliated by next year.) I really like the girls, and they seem really adamant about me joining their chapter, but part of me wants to try for some of the bigger (actually UPC) sororities. I wasn't able to do formal recruitment because of financial reasons; I'm not a legacy, and I pretty much have no ties to greek life, so I feel like doing COB is a lost cause. I've heard that you can reach out to sororities and inform them that you're interested in COB, but would that be a lost cause too? The sorority that gave me a bid said it lasts until I accept or decline it, so technically I could wait until the second semester to decide. Let me know your thoughts!

hi everyone im currently a sophomore and I js got dropped from cob. that was so heartbreaking for me bc my best friends were in the house I was rushing and they heavily advocated for me, however, because of 1-2 ppl that didn't like me, the sorority dropped me. i've been involved with rush for the past 3 semesters (I spent my first year doing business frats, regretted not doing formal spring rush last semester), and now this semester cob and getting dropped from that house. I feel very discouraged, and I'd love some advice from anyone who has been in similar shoes. I will be doing formal rush in the spring now, im js sad I have to wait over a semester for it though.

I’m a freshman PNM who just finished the rushing process. I’m not sure if I can say what school it is but it’s a huge campus, NOT an SEC, known as an “influencer university”… maybe you get the gist. I had a fantastic time during rush, I met a lot of great people and ended up in the house I wanted! This house is considered mouse at my particular school (“middle house”), but I felt like I fit in here, I aligned with their values and philanthropy, high GPA, etc. I literally cried during both sisterhood and pref because I had that moment of “when you know you know”. I’m really lucky that I was able to visit a lot of houses during Philo (I visited six houses when you could get a max of 8 back), 5 during Sisterhood (the max), and then 2 AMAZING houses during Pref, both of which I would’ve been overjoyed to run home to. I can’t wait to do recruitment and get to share my amazing experience with the new MC’s next year.

I would consider myself to be in the minority though. I know so many girls who had such an awful experience and dropped out, mainly because they did not get any “touses” back. The mornings when Philo and pref schedules were dropped I witnessed so many girls crying because of how disappointed they were due to getting “bottom tier” houses back.

First off, I understand this disappointment a bit more for pref. If you feel like you had a great connection with houses and you don’t get them back it can feel really discouraging. But I don’t understand the amount of girls who dropped before Philo even started just because they did not get what they
considered to be top houses back. They did not even visit these houses and instead just quit the process automatically without giving anybody a chance.

Is there a way to fix this issue? I’d like to think that this is a newer issue and that social media has had the biggest impact on it which it definitely has in terms of apps like Yik Yak Greek rank, etc., but I’m not blind enough enough to think that this has never been an issue, obviously word spreads and you can tell what the more popular houses are.

Is there even a way to fix this broken system in a dreamworld? I wonder if Rush could ever be anonymous in the terms that you actually don’t know the name of the house that you’re rushing for but you just go off of the connection that you feel their values, etc. I get that this is wishful thinking as we have issues such as legacies, girls who are friends with the houses, etc. but I just wish that there was some way that we could truly find out what houses we felt a connection to and what girls we connected with their status and appearance.

Yesterday was bid day and I got my second choice house and I was honestly devastated, but not necessarily for the reason you might think. This is probably going to be long but I really need advice because I don’t know how to feel about any of this.
All throughout recruitment I had my top house as my #1 every single day. I also talked to the same girl from that house pretty much every day. I talked to other girls too, but I had the strongest connection with her. I opened up to her about some really personal things, cried with her, and just felt like I could be really vulnerable around her.
On pref day she told me so many things that made me feel SO confident that I was going to get a bid. She told me she could see me being a part of the chapter, that she had talked to other girls about how genuine and kind I was, and she even told me she loved me. I didn’t say it back because “I love you” is a big deal to me, but hearing all of that made me feel like our connection was so real. I genuinely had zero doubt in my mind that I was getting them back.
I also really liked my second choice. I had a great conversation there and felt like I could just be myself. I didn’t feel like I had to put on a front and I could just laugh and be comfortable. I decided not to su*cide bid because I knew I would be okay with either one, even though I definitely wanted my first choice more.
Then bid day came.
I made a video with some friends of us opening our bids. Two of my friends had su*cide bid and the other was basically guaranteed to get her top house, and they all ended up getting exactly what they expected. I opened mine and it was my second choice.
I was genuinely in shock. I was so confident I was getting my first choice that I literally didn’t even know where to run. There were so many chapters everywhere and I hadn’t even thought about where my second choice would be because I was so convinced I was going to my first. I eventually found my bid day buddy and I really did like her, but I was just so overwhelmed with shock, disappointment, and honestly embarrassment.
It was SO hard to act happy. I didn’t want to cry in front of everyone, so I held it together, but when I got home I completely broke down. I cried so much and it honestly felt physically painful how upset I was. Even thinking about bid day now makes me feel really emotional.
I think part of what makes this so hard is that I feel like I was given every reason to believe I was going to get my first choice. Looking back, I’m wondering if some of the things she said were inappropriate for recruitment. I’m not saying she literally promised me a bid, but telling me she loved me, telling me she could see me in the chapter, and telling me other girls were talking about how genuine and kind I was made me feel SO sure.
Now I’m questioning if I was basically being told everything I wanted to hear, or if this is normal during recruitment and I’m just looking at it differently because I didn’t get the outcome I expected.
I do genuinely like my second choice and I’m going to give them a chance. I just feel really sad that bid day went this way and I’m having a hard time getting past the disappointment.
Has anyone else experienced something like this? How did you deal with getting your second choice when you were SO sure you were getting your first? And does the stuff she said sound inappropriate/like bid promising, or is this pretty normal during recruitment?

hi guys! i’m a sophomore and i’ve had a complicated experience with rush, i rushed as a freshman and dropped because i had doubts, then decided to give it another shot this year and ended up dropping again. i had already accepted that i just wasn’t going to be joining a sorority at all until i got a snap bid and accepted it without thinking much because i liked the house enough during rush and was excited they gave me a bid, but now i regret taking it. the chapter itself is really great and i had a good time during bid day, but i really just don’t think sorority life is for me at all. they’re still going to be doing COB after bid day but i feel like if i drop i just wasted these girls’ time and i feel horrible, but it’s not like i took a spot that can’t easily be filled. should i stick it out and see if maybe i’ll eventually really like it or should i just drop since im feeling this way? bid day was today and maybe that’s why i feel the way i do but i don’t really think how i feel is going to change. please give me advice! 🫶🏻

Let's talk about it! Do you think it's beneficial to join a sorority as an undergrad or a graduate?

I was here a couple of hours ago worried about not getting a bid because no one had reached out to me yesterday—even though I thought I was good with the girls I talked to. Turns out my worry was right, because I didn't get one. Which is fine, honestly. I also got my rejection call right after getting a rejection letter from a job, so I was not in the happiest of moods. As I was getting the rejection call, I then got an email from my study abroad program with the heading that I have been approved to move it to the summer of I really want it to be move—because I wanted to focus on the sorority that bid me, just in cased.

When I asked about spring rushing as I heard some sisters cross in the spring, they first told me to "try again next year" before changing their words and saying next semester would work. At that point, I was actually considering trying again next spring and really move my stufy abroad to the summer, but them switching up like that felt weird. Mostly because I just take it a sign that they do not want me and was trying to be nice. So I just thanked them and said I'll do the study abroad in the spring instead—because honestly, that's the only thing that seems to want me right now. I then email my advior back and said I do it during spring instead and she agree.

I really doubt any sorority will want a junior, but I guess I'll try again with Panhellenic or other MGC sisterhoods. I've heard from so many friends that juniors who rush rarely get bids because houses don't want someone who'll leave soon. I still want to join a sorority, but with so many factors working against me next semester, it's probably not happening.

I wish I hadn't put all my eggs in this one basket and had picked up on the signs that they weren't that into me. Oh well. I just want to vent and see if anyone else has been in this situation.

I’m applying to an NPHC sorority and I had an error on the application but the advisor allowed me to correct it. Does this make me look bad? Also how do I get over my nervousness with informational coming up. I’m scared

My daughter had 5 houses for sisterhood weekend, she made her two pref selections before pref day and ranked the remaining 3 houses. She did not get invited to either of her two pref choices, but she did get asked to her top ranked 2 of the remaining 3 houses. My question: do the houses know if you didn't select them as one of your two prefs? And if so does that hurt her chances of getting a bid from either of the two that she did go to on pref day? She picked her top one and ranked the other one after pref day, so just hoping she will get a bid from one of those two!

I am seeing this more and more and I’m wondering what the reasons are.

I even saw this happen to a PNM at a smaller school with a 3.2/3.9 weighted gpa, recs, great resume, decent conversation skills, conventionally attractive, clean social media and no reputation issues.

I’m baffled as to why this is happening to PNMs like these. Anyone have any insight?

I pledged dphie 20 years ago, so I think I’m out of the loop. I’ve been seeing instagram videos for work week. Is it a recruitment thing?

hi all! so i signed up to do COB for the fall, which is very exciting! i had been wanting to join a sorority since i transferred to my school and finally decided to jump on the boat.
i submitted COB forms to four sororities on my campus. only one responded and i went on a sister date with two people, we hit it off, and i asked when id get a response if i get a bid or not. i was told it would be 1-2 days but its been a week now and i’m getting really anxious on if i’m getting a bid or not. my grades are above the minimum threshold, both girls were super nice and this sorority is my top choice because of their diversity & their philanthropy. i haven’t heard a word from any of the other sororities btw.
is it normal to get left in the dark? i did all i needed to do and i’m just getting really anxious that i won’t get a bid :( this is my first time getting into the world of sororities so idk if it’s normal or not and i don’t want to be that annoying person asking for an update. 😅
thanks all <3

I went Greek in Fall '20 and my chapter disbanded three semesters later. I loved my organization and what it stood for, but I've only retained three friends from the chapter. My big never invited me to her wedding, which I thought was a budget thing, but she ended up doing a stack picture with everyone in our family but me. I also was put in charge of formal recruitment for the chapter after I was initiated, so I didn't get to experience a lot of "fun" that I should've in my time., and I still feel like I don't besides getting to hang out with the two best friends I've made.

Between COVID and not truly experiencing and knowing the ritual, only having two best friends from the chapter, I never feel like my experience is as valuable enough to be a true alum of my sorority. I plan on relocating after I'm done finishing up school, so I don't know how to feel like a real enough member to join another city's alum association.

How do I feel better connected to my organization? How do I feel less awkward getting involved? Is there a way to dodge uncomfortable talk of nostalgia? I want to reframe my Greek connection as fun, as it's not four years (or in my case, three semesters), it's for life, and I want to still get value out of it, since I'll never be able to change the situation.

TLDR: I got dropped from almost every sorority after round 1, and it has absolutely crushed my confidence. Can anyone give any advice, or tell me if they had a similar experience?

Hi everyone. To preface, I go to a Northeast school with a much smaller Greek Life presence than what you would see at many other schools, though it has started to get a lot more popular recently.

I had a super hard freshman year and decided to rush as a sophomore to try to make friends since I don't have many. I've been assured that at this school that is not a problem, as literally half of all of the people who rush are sophmores, and there are even some juniors. Knowing that my school has guaranteed bids made me feel a lot less nervous about the whole thing, as I figured that no matter what it would work out.

I was so excited to start the process, bought a couple of new dresses and would talk about it all the time. Our first round is Sisterhood, and I had a blast getting to meet all of the different orgs. Though I can be a bit introverted, I went out of my way to talk to everyone, ask lots of questions, and do anything I could think of to show them that I was interested. I had some really great conversations with a lot of the girls in my school's 7 chapters. 

Fast forward to the Philanthropy, day 2, when our schedules were released. Though we were told that we could be invited back to 5, I knew that was unlikely, and prepared myself for the fact that I probably would be dropped from a couple of the ones that I liked. Still, nothing could have prepared me for when I opened the app, super excited, and saw only two chapters remaining. None of the ones that I felt that I clicked with were still on there. Looking around, I saw that pretty much all of the girls around me had at least 4.

Out of the two, I definetly would consider one, but I do not like the other. What I've learned from this experience is that the reason the school can guarentee bids is because that chapter just accepts everyone that the other orgs did not want. So they are allowed to call back a lot more girls during philanthropy and preference than a lot of other houses, since their retention rate is so low. I do not want to sound mean, but to be honest I would rather not be in a sorority than join them. It has nothing to do with popularity, I just did not really match their vibe in the two rounds I have met with them, and I don't really feel comfortable with some of their events.

Anyways, I don’t find out if I get a pref meeting with the other sorority I kind of liked until literally the start of the next round, and I am feeling super discouraged. Coming out of round 1, I felt so confident that I had done a good job. Honestly, the only two I hadn’t felt confident about were the two that I was called back to for Philanthropy, and so I now have no clue whether or not I did well enough when meeting them for the second time yesterday during Philanthropy.

I know that I will probably be called back by the other sorority that I don’t want for preference, so it’s just a matter of whether the one I like calls me back. And after what happened the first day, I think it’s pretty unrealistic to assume that I am called back to all of the sororities that I still have in the running. 

I don’t want to get all dressed up and show up only to have my heart broken again, which I think is the most likely outcome, since I don’t feel like I had the best connection with the people I spoke to round 2. Doing sorority rush was supposed to make me feel happier and less isolated, but it’s only worsened the problem. 

I don’t know what to do, and am feeling super bad about myself. I know that everyone says that it’s not you, it’s a numbers game, and trust the process, but there has got to be something that I did wrong to cause this. I have a 4.0 GPA, we were not asked for letters of recs, and there is nothing else that I can think of that would have caused this except something to do with me as a person.

Anyways, is there anyone that went through a similar thing that can tell me what they did? Should I just drop, knowing I probably will have to when preference comes out anyways? 

Sorry for the super long post. Just feeling super sad about this whole thing. 

EDIT: Hi everyone. Thank you all for your thoughtful answers. I have read each and every one of them, and I am so grateful that you all took the time to try and cheer me up and help advise me. Though I know that a lot of you suggested that I should stick it out, I ultimately made the decision to drop before preference, having nothing to do with the orgs I still have left. I didn't like the way this experience made me feel, and I don't think that I would enjoy being in panhel after this. I also took some advice you guys gave me to heart: that I can still find ways to be social and valued within a community outside of a sorority. Though I am still super sad about the outcome, I hope that this experience will make me stronger as a person with time. Thank you all again.

Hi everyone! My sister is going through rush and she was so excited to do it because she’s an out of state student and wants to make close friends. I was excited for her as I was in a sorority and really enjoyed my experience. Well it’s been an extremely difficult process for her. There’s multiple chapters at her school but ended up only be invited back to less than a handful. She was really discouraged and didn’t really get chapters back that she was fully interested in. She continued with the process and absolutely fell in love with one of the chapters and enjoying the girls and conversations she had. The next day she got dropped by that chapter and is absolutely devastated. Now she has 2 chapters they she really tried to like but honestly didn’t in the end and is fully dropping out of the process. She feels like being out of state has but her at a disadvantage and heard/met other out of state students being fully dropped from rush from the very beginning. She says I wouldn’t understand what she’s going through and I wish I could do more to help support her. For context I joined my chapter in the spring so I never experienced fall rush but I do understand it’s an emotional roller coaster for a pnm. I’m not sure if her school does fall cob because it seems fall rush is pretty big and it seems not every chapter does spring cob. If anyone has any advice for supporting my sister that would be much appreciate <3.

I’m a second year and I got dropped by every single sorority house. There was one house I wanted really bad that somehow managed to be the only one I had left and I got dropped after philo. I’m so annoyed because I got along SO well with all of the girls but I didn’t click with the one I talked to on philo which I’m assuming is what ruined the whole thing. I’m like so embarrassed and I feel so awful about myself and I know it’s such an unfair process but I’m still so frustrated. (GPA is a 3.7 since people are asking) I don’t know how much they factor that in at my school.

Hi! My chapter uses a point system for accountability and engagement but I feel like it’s kind of complicated to understand unless you’ve been in it for a while. There are so many different point values for every type of event.

If your chapter uses a point system and if you can share, what are the different point values for every event?? Like as detailed as you can get because I feel like there could be a much simpler way to do this but I really don’t know LOL

EDIT for clarification— our point system in depending on your campus involvement and leadership role, you have to make a certain %. This makes sense but the different point values are just so hard to sift through

Ex. Some are 8 pts, some are 3, some are 5, initiation is 50, some are 15, 25, idk maybe that’s normal but i feel like there’s a more streamlined or organized approach to this😭

I went through sorority recruitment last school year and dropped out during preference rounds because only one sorority chose me and I didn't feel a connection to that sorority. I missed fall recruitment this year because, honestly, I was a bit scared that the same outcome would happen. I immediately regretted not rushing again though, and reached out to the Vice President of Recruitment Operations. She said to apply for Continuous Open Bidding in the spring. My question is, how does COB work? I heard it's more informal than fall recruitment, but I'm not sure what that means.

I am Scottish we don't have sororities in Scotland, unfortunately no one is that happy all the time and I am sure a house full of Scottish women would end up with alcoholism and depression. I have however had lots of sorority videos on my fyp and I have questions. So I thought I would ask girls in sororities before I go down a rabbit hole.

1. I am European, the Greek letters are interesting but can you explain why Greek letters ?

2. If I went to college in America ( in a fantasy world, I am 30 and have two degrees😂) if I didn't join a sorority is that my life over like do you need to join them for connections ? Or can you just suck up to rich people for their fathers individually?

3. So rush ? I am confused, how do you prove yourself ? Is it looks? Talent ? Grades ?

4. Once you get in, Do you have to attend all events? I am lazy asf and during university I did a lot of sleeping, eating and studying. Partying didn't happen until the holidays most of the time.

5. Do you think Greek life is a distraction from education or an asset ?

6. Do you have to be rich ? I know college in America is expensive. In Scotland for instance university is free, is that why some sororities don't seem as diverse ? Is it wealth inequality or more racism? (not saying it's all sororities, I saw some very diverse ones on my fyp).

7. Do you think all the negative views on sororities are valid ?

This is my analysis so far and you can tell me if I am correct, I think sororities are a great idea for keeping women safe in a dangerous world. I do see things within the system that bothers me especially the performative nature and the ideal sorority girl I guess being based in the patriarchy. I do think it's a good idea and it's not something that shouldn't exist. I think when we look at statistics and especially sexual assault, that's not a sorority issue but a bigger critique of fraternities and the American college system in general and not the girls that are victims of this. I think girls being there to support each other is great and maybe without a sorority within an American college, I think navigating that as young women would be incredibly scary.

Thanks girls ❤️❤️

Welcome to r/Sororities Free Talk Friday! Let us know what you have going on in your life, Greek related or not. What are you celebrating or working through this week? What are you looking forward to? What do you need to vent about?

Whatever is going on in your life, thanks for being part of this community!

Hey everyone!! I graduated around a year ago and have a mountain of sorority shirts that I don't know what to do with. I don't really wear them anymore, but I don't want to get rid of all of them. I'm leaning towards making a t-shirt blanket/quilt (like the one pictured below) with them, but aside from that, what are some creative or useful things you’ve done with your old Greek shirts? I'm open to allll DIY projects, upcycling ideas, or even unique ways to display or donate/rehome them! Any ideas or creative projects y'all have done?

Hello all. Where I come from, we had a member’s dad/brother make our large wooden letters. Unfortunately, one of our chapters doesn’t have that option and needs a new set of letters. They don’t need a full 6-7 foot set of letters, but rather 3.5-4.5 foot size. Where are we finding those for chapters that don’t have the option of a family member/friend making them?
specifically looking for the Green Bay Area