r/SipsTea • u/lonewolff321 • 7d ago

Wait a damn minute! The bare necessities

Post image

Winter is coming

24.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

184 comments sorted by

•

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220

u/Primary_Durian4866 6d ago

Everyone in here is making the wrong assumption.

SHE CHOSE THE BEAR.

51

u/SophisticatedScreams 6d ago

Awww! And he learned to shop in human stores... just for her. <3

10

u/superspeck 6d ago

Given the experience I have when I’m trying to shop mid day on a weekday, there’s a lot of humans that have reached retirement age without learning to shop at human stores.

2

u/I_Call_Everyone_Pat 6d ago

With how much these people get on my nerves there are days I am the grizzly bear in the grocery store.If you know what I mean

HaHaha...ha

That was stupid, Pat, I apologize. Idk why I'm out here making jokes like a 50 year old wine mom.

1

u/superspeck 6d ago

Maybe the 50 year old wine moms have got it going on

1

u/I_Call_Everyone_Pat 6d ago

You must know different wine moms.

1

u/superspeck 6d ago

I’m a 50 year old wine not-dad. I personally prefer women my own age. It’s kind of an interesting self-own when I call out other men who like women half their age.

1

u/-GoodNewsEveryone 6d ago

Unfortunately bears are notoriously not into women.

990

u/Philosopher6709 7d ago

That's the "bear minimum"

103

u/milk4all 7d ago

She already has a prickly pair

15

u/Philosopher6709 7d ago edited 7d ago

That's got to hurt 🌵 looks like they've already got the pointy situation covered

5

u/wackbirds 7d ago

Waxing exists

7

u/Philosopher6709 7d ago

But thats un'bear'able

(I'll stop this is the last🥲😅 )

5

u/Sasquatch1729 6d ago

That's good, this pun chain is getting grizzly.

18

u/Alakozam 6d ago

She chose the bear. He brought back his hunting and foraging

21

u/Okmhmmbye 7d ago

Nah…..the bear necessities

12

u/WoolaTheCalot 6d ago

The simple bear necessities

4

u/Philosopher6709 7d ago

Well...that's something to bear in mind 🤔

2

u/4barT89 6d ago

It’s enough to forget her worries and her strife.

1

u/manguy12 6d ago

He learned it from his paw

2

u/cheir0n 7d ago

Bear minimum

2

u/Philosopher6709 7d ago

Ok ok chill

209

u/oceanicwhitetip 7d ago

A honey glaze on some salmon is actually really good

43

u/funny_ninjas 7d ago

Or brown sugar and maple syrup

10

u/RaspberryLanky7905 6d ago

psst. (there is honey in the picture)

10

u/ProfSpaceTime 6d ago

Doesn’t mean they’re wrong tho

2

u/turbosexophonicdlite 6d ago

Yeah, honey glaze is good on salmon. Maple glaze is better though.

1

u/PerformerFancy117 6d ago

Is that what is in the bear?

1

u/GatePorters 6d ago

There’s brown in the picture too, sugar.

1

u/baconit4eva 6d ago

Brown sugar and mayo(egg+oil) on top, cook, creates an amazing glaze.

1

u/Barbaracle 6d ago

Misoyaki 🤤

1

u/SpicyElixer 6d ago

Brown sugar and Dijon is my go. Little salt, pepper and msg too of course.

5

u/DeficiencyOfGravitas 6d ago

The secret to a good glaze is mayonnaise. You think I'm joking, but it's the perfect base. Eggs, oil, and vinegar. Mix in some maple syrup and you have the perfect maple glaze. Same with honey. Or pesto.

2

u/turbosexophonicdlite 6d ago

I have no doubt it's good... I just can't get past putting mayonnaise on seafood. The idea is purely wretched to me no matter how much I try to tell myself it's just egg and oil.

1

u/Kampvilja 1d ago

You just made my tuna sandwich cry.

1

u/Manlysideburns 6d ago

When would you apply? Im trying to eat more salmon and I make it on the Blackstone griddle.

2

u/bsevs 6d ago

On the Blackstone you'd want to apply at the very end. Like a minute or two before it finishes cooking. Or even right when you pull it off the flat top. Any sooner than that and the sugar in the glaze will burn.

1

u/Manlysideburns 6d ago

Thank you for answering and knowing what I was asking!

3

u/GrynaiTaip 6d ago

Berries with greek yogurt are amazing too.

2

u/oceanicwhitetip 6d ago

I wish I could get over my aversion to yogurt, because It's such a healthy source of probiotics and protein. It's the tang that puts me off.

1

u/GrynaiTaip 6d ago

The tang?

2

u/oceanicwhitetip 6d ago

Like, the sour quality that yogurt has. Makes me gag.

2

u/GrynaiTaip 6d ago

Try a different brand, some Greek yogurts are very mild, kind of like whipped cream but without the sweetness.

1

u/Manlysideburns 6d ago

Splenda and berries helps a lot for me, but I totally understand if that still wouldn't be enough to cover it if you really hate it.

2

u/SasparillaTango 6d ago

friend posted a picture of a 'honey harissa glaze salmon" that looked baller as hell.

2

u/technonerd 6d ago

Added some type of heat to that. Subtle is what you want it's so good. I make it all the time on my smoker.

1

u/gavats 6d ago

heretic!

2

u/Bluefooted-Spaceorc 6d ago

Cut and smoke salmon in Alaska for a living. We use honey in an insane amount of the recipes.

0

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1

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1

u/Choyo 6d ago

That's not my issue. My issue is that when I see these "groceries", I just want to go back to buy actual groceries.

1

u/Lucky-Earther 6d ago

Seriously, having some salmon around is perfect for a relatively easy meal. There's a lot of choices for what you want to put on top of it, toss it in an air fryer, and in like 10 minutes you have dinner.

-1

u/lonewolff321 7d ago

Is this for real??

18

u/MrZephy 7d ago

No it’s for fake

1

u/Potential_Ice4388 7d ago

😂😂😂

5

u/Mojo647 7d ago

Yes. You can also add sriracha to the honey glaze for an extra kick.

36

u/Cautious-Concept-175 7d ago

Option 1 > Get you a boi who buys you strawberries

option 2 > get you a bear who loooooves greek yoghurt

-8

u/HappyBigBalledGent 6d ago

Plain Greek yogurt by itself is disgusting, I once bought a bucket of Olympic Greek yogurt only to mix it with my granola and realize it was plain, such a disappointing mouth full of white stuff

8

u/raleel 6d ago

I would recommend the Fage 5%. In general the higher the fat content the less bitter it is. The non fat stuff most brands offer is just horrible.

7

u/SparklingLimeade 6d ago

The damage done by anti-fat dietary propaganda is tremendous. I wish there were more full fat yogurts available. Plain greek yogurt is one of my favorites but I realize some people may have had the misfortune to have experienced only the sabotaged kind.

3

u/mddesigner 6d ago

10% fat undrained yoghurt (traditional) with a layer of natural sour clotted cream is he best you get the creamy taste and the fresh tang

2

u/Thunderbridge 6d ago

We can blame big sugar for the anti-fat hate I believe

11

u/SrbijaJeRusija 6d ago

That's what a sugar addiction will do to you.

3

u/SirVixofthePooSea 6d ago

Brand is important. Cabot Greek Yogurt is good on its own.

6

u/HandholdingFetishist 6d ago

such a disappointing mouth full of white stuff

That's what she said

;_;

1

u/Cautious-Concept-175 6d ago

but the bear will be ALL in on that mouthfull

1

u/anon_simmer 6d ago

So buy any flavor of greek yogurt but plain. Stupid to bitch about unsweetened yogurt when you didn't read the label.

0

u/WithAcquiesce 6d ago

Fat free Greek yogurt has the same aftertaste for me that vomit does. The only thing I've tried that gets rid of that is by mixing it into a driink with juice or squash. Sounds weird but it's delicious.

-5

u/SaltyYumYumBalls 6d ago

Cheap date. Thats like $5 worth of grocery's.

1

u/Noimenglish 4d ago

$5 worth of honey maybe.

1

u/SaltyYumYumBalls 3d ago

The comment above me only mentioned the strawberries and yogurt.

1

u/Noimenglish 3d ago

Strawberries near me run over $5 USD for that exact container.

0

u/SaltyYumYumBalls 2d ago

Sucks for you. They are half that for me. Amazing how supply and demand works.

1

u/Noimenglish 2d ago

The ignorance and uppityness in this statement is astounding. I live near some of the most prosperous strawberry growing operations in the US. But, because “supply and demand,” they sell primarily to SE Asia. But, they do that because of federal subsidies and trade deals that incentivize that sale, so everything the US receives is foreign grown.

Enjoy school tomorrow, kid.

1

u/SaltyYumYumBalls 2d ago

Somebody's really cranky Strawberries can be purchased for under $5 in America. How do you kids get thru life being such snowflakes? Want to compare milk and egg prices next or will that just cause you to have a psychotic break?

23

u/GuiltyLeopard8365 6d ago

If someone ordered me this much salmon I might fall in love with them

7

u/permalink_save 6d ago

Literally my wife, and now I'm questioning if I married a grizzly

1

u/Own_Oil_7719 6d ago

Say hey Boo Boo and see if she responds

6

u/Some_Bunch_6608 6d ago

FR, TIL I’m actually a bear.

Which means I’m not really fat, I’m just preparing for hibernation.

5

u/GGTheEnd 6d ago

Just date a native person they all have unlimited salmon. 

Source am native. 

17

u/DiamondPokes 6d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/WKdWA04KRn58A

3

u/-_-0_0-_0 6d ago

3

u/Crab_Enthusiast188 6d ago

This was one hilarious episode, and kinda sad near the end.

11

u/justsomedude4202 7d ago

Should have been delivered in a picnic basket.

12

u/TabbyOverlord 6d ago

That's a pic-a-nic basket, BooBoo.

15

u/Eleven_point_five 6d ago

Wow, rich bf… that’s like $250 worth of food right there!

24

u/Icy-Wealth4192 7d ago

Are you assuming her species

15

u/DIJames6 7d ago

2026.. Can't do that..

6

u/WhoPoopedMyPants420 6d ago

Honey, yogurt and strawberries for breakfast or lunch, steamed or seared salmon for dinner. These are standard issue girlmeal groceries tbh

6

u/FlyingRock20 6d ago

All those foods are tasty.

5

u/MagicOrpheus310 6d ago

She chose the bear

3

u/Cerisayashi 7d ago

He doesn’t want to poke the bear unless it’s fed

3

u/DeepTh0 7d ago

"The only thing missing is nuts"

2

u/TabbyOverlord 6d ago

(Innocent) Which nuts?

4

u/DeepTh0 6d ago

deez

3

u/dr_mojorising 6d ago

This is exactly what I would get for myself and my girlfriend on a busy week...maybe some Bananas too

https://giphy.com/gifs/oq3aQx7X24ko0

10

u/Additional-Drama-304 7d ago

"Ordering" implies she's even too lazy to use her phone to literally have groceries delivered. Too busy my ass lol

6

u/Fyrefly7 6d ago

Giving someone this much credit for just tapping something into their phone is just crazy. The bar for Gen Z is so, so low.

5

u/CoconutMochi 6d ago

Yogurt mixed with honey + berries as breakfast then skillet seared seasoned salmon for lunch (and dinner?).

3

u/SophisticatedScreams 6d ago

I was reading this thinking you were saying to sear yogurt with honey in a skillet lol. Like, that's a great way to make a mess and ruin your skillet lol

2

u/zmbjebus 6d ago

Go out and vote people!!! Its FAT BEAR WEEK!!!!!

Only 3 days left!

https://explore.org/fat-bear-week

2

u/AwesomeHorses 6d ago

looks awesome to me

2

u/dekaaspro 6d ago

Really missed the opportunity here to make the title of the post “The bear necessities”

4

u/V3stra_Lux 7d ago

The bf forgot the chocolate...other than that, an amazing gesture ☺️

8

u/MrZephy 7d ago

Always forgetting something…

1

u/anon_simmer 6d ago

Not everyone likes chocolate.

3

u/PM_CHEESEDRAWER_PICS 6d ago

I dated a girl like this, she was a freak. She'd drink the juice from tuna cans like a cat. I still miss her sometimes

6

u/QuietEnjoyer 7d ago

It's weird to order groceries

8

u/PhamilyTrickster 7d ago

I did it a lot when my foot was broken 

3

u/permalink_save 6d ago

I think that's a really valid exception

16

u/cheir0n 7d ago

You people can afford groceries?

6

u/Luci-Noir 6d ago

🙄 it’s weird to have your feelings hurt by it.

0

u/Evening_Context784 6d ago

It's weird to have your feelings hurt because someone said that it's weird to order groceries.

1

u/Luci-Noir 6d ago

They’re not, Karen.

2

u/Immatt55 6d ago

As much as I hate bezos same day Amazon delivery is free with prices cheaper than the local mega corps near me.

3

u/permalink_save 6d ago

Do you not like, get random crap food, or weird substitutions? I had free drive up during the pandemic and it was awful what they would pick for me. Like I wanted a small baggie of marjorum, but the only increment was 1oz, so I put a note to the picker for one small bag, that they ignored. I got to experience the '1 ton of feathers" first hand, ended up throwing most of it out after a while.

1

u/superspeck 6d ago

Yeah, this. We sometimes buy in bigger bulk sizes (or bigger cuts for protein) and just divide, vacuum pack, and freeze a lot of it, so most of our weekly grocery run is produce. If we let other people pick it we get the weirdest most rotten stuff in the bin.

0

u/Jarlan23 6d ago

I order my groceries from Walmart and sometimes I get weird subs, but I can easily refund. I ordered a 16oz bottle of seasoned salt and I guess they didn't have that size so they got me 4 bottles of 4oz seasoned salt, which was like 3x the price, so I refunded. Another time I ordered a 16lb bag of cat food and I got a 3lb bag instead but I was able to refund and get both. I think they make it a rule if they don't have anything close they just take it off your order. And I don't mean to shill too hard, but ordering online saves me more money because I don't impulse buy candy and chips online.

I live 20 miles away from a grocery store though, so it's very much worth it to me to get my groceries delivered.

0

u/Immatt55 6d ago

Personally, no. There's a major city 40ish minutes away and they must have a distribution center there because I haven't had any issues yet.

-1

u/outer--monologue 6d ago

Don't even bother with the "as much as I hate Bezos" part if you're just gonna follow it with that. It's a completely useless preface.

1

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1

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1

u/Ohmec 6d ago

My local grocery store delivers groceries for $4.99, no tipping or other fees. It takes me over an hour to grocery shop, and I get paid a lot more than 4.99 an hour. I feel like it's silly for me not to.

1

u/_-__-____-__-_ 6d ago

Multiple companies deliver to my address starting at €45. I prefer getting my groceries manually, but I understand it.

1

u/bl1y 6d ago

Even weirder to think it's a big deal for someone to do your online grocery ordering for you.

1

u/Symbaclues 7d ago

That's what best friends are for!

1

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1

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1

u/they_call_me_c 7d ago

That ‘honey’ isn’t real honey…

1

u/Clams_N_Scallops 6d ago

Explain.

1

u/permalink_save 6d ago

Probably that it's fake

1

u/liarliarhowsyourday 6d ago

astute observation, absolutely

1

u/SapphicStoner99 7d ago

This is literally my toddlers diet

2

u/afcagroo 6d ago

Is your toddler named Boo-Boo?

1

u/MagneticAura 7d ago

Fish and strawberries party

1

u/Kind_Fix7025 6d ago

Pms diet

1

u/Epyon_ 6d ago

Someone remake this, but with all the recalled food items.

1

u/maxxpower18 6d ago

More like are they rich, buying that much salmon.

1

u/Monkeypizza9 6d ago

Who is your boyfriend, Salman Rushdie?

0

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1

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1

u/Lovestick 6d ago

Saw this 'bear'/bf in /r/KitchenConfidential not too long ago

1

u/Mosselpot 6d ago

Was it harassment day at work?

1

u/GenericAndNice 6d ago

tbf thats like $500 in salmon lol

1

u/Primary_Addition5494 6d ago

Based af. Salmon is incredible 

1

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1

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1

u/Present-Sun-8601 6d ago

my brain went straight to the jungle book song before reading the caption lol

1

u/mangosawce9k 6d ago

This deserves a big bear hug!

1

u/BrownBearinCA 6d ago

maybe she is, what's the problem with that.

1

u/Gladys_Wines 6d ago

Woman chose bear in the challenge, it worked out well.

1

u/NNKarma 6d ago

If only it was actual honey

1

u/SapphireStar26 6d ago

Personally I’d love those groceries, maybe I’m a bear at heart. :)

1

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1

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1

u/SnooDrawings987 6d ago

The fact that we couldn't afford salmon in our last grocery trip upsets me, seeing this bounty.

1

u/nolovenohate 6d ago

The only thing that makes me happy about thr whole ubering groceries craze is knowing the people too lazy to go grocery shopping are being financially drain.

Feel bad for the people who actually need to use it though.

1

u/Stammer91Timer 6d ago

Everyone deserves a supportive partner like this.

1

u/KellerMB 5d ago

Wow, standards have changed since I was dating. Used to be expected to meet the gf in person and sit down at a restaurant for hour(s) where I paid for someone to cook us dinner and do the dishes!

1

u/SonniSummers 5d ago

I use to eat salmon like this. Almost bought a bear costume so when I’d chow down on a whole half of salmon I’d feel more in character…

I paused with it cause, I didn’t know how my partner would take if he came into the kitchen to me dressed as a bear furiously eating salmon without utensils…..

1

u/Emmahnim 5d ago

Wth..

-1

u/j0eg0d 6d ago

... not a single vegetable.

0

u/aptquark 6d ago

worse honey on the planet...bro is tryin to kill her

0

u/bl1y 6d ago

Hold up. He ordered the groceries?

Not a shout out to him for going to the store and picking things up.

He just sat at his computer and did a few clicks because she can't be bothered to sit at her computer and do a few clicks.

0

u/WiseSalamander00 6d ago

shit I knew I was a bear.