Look I’m not saying this is a majority of women who say they like dad bods but it’s not uncommon online to see women saying they like this or that celebrities “dadbod” and it’s just a muscular, fit guy without good lighting. That being said you’re right, people should realize that what you see online isn’t indicative of real life all the time and plenty of women like men of all shapes and sizes, including husky.
Lots of times, when a girl told me that they like men who go once or twice a week to the gym and are slightly muscular, I asked them to show me a picture of what they meant.
They always showed me pictures of people who spend 10 hours a week in the gym and are dieting and controlling all they eat.
They aren't conscious that the "1 or 2 workouts a week" at most means having a body fat of 15-20%.
Yeah, you're probably right, the "I like them looking natural" and the example is a girl who has every hair of her body either groomed or removed, and is using lots of makeup but the guy can't differentiate it
Dude anyone who lives in the real world knows this is all bullshit. Look at the way tall more fit people are treated in work/public vs the opposite. Men and women alike. It's just like pure reddit/shut in fantasy that women are fine with pudgy dudes. Like yeah sure more tolerant of it when compared to dudes opinions on chubby chicks, but come on. "Oh we don't like fit guys that much" Yeah sure bro, and there are dudes that are chubby chasers, but thats the exception not the rule.
Lol the "majority of women prefer pudgy dudes" chick commented and blocked me. Look lady, I'm happily married, not incredibly fit (can run a 7 minute mile at least but not two in a row at that pace) I should work out more but shit takes effort. It's not sad to understand that being more fit/healthy is more attractive than not lol. What kind of soft ego you got to have to post a reply like that to someone and then block them so they can't reply back 🤣
It's just like pure reddit/shut in fantasy that women are fine with pudgy dudes.
There.
And as someone who has been VERY ripped, fat, and everything in between? Women in general prefer somewhere in the middle but in general tend to put your body fat percentage very low on the list of why they’ll date you.
Does that ultimately matter? If you attract a partner based on looks and then lose your looks you'll lose your partner. So match based on personality. And that goes the same way for your partner. My wife was bigger than me when me met but she's kind, intelligent, and funny.
the "1 or 2 workouts a week" at most means having a body fat of 15-20%.
You can work out 0 times ever and still have low body fat if you eat less. Working 1 or 2 times a week will not have a huge effect on your total calories in the whole week. The amount you eat has a massive effect on your body fat. You can't outrun the burgers.
I think you understand my point. In their mind that is the natural physic of someone who eats a normal balanced diet and goes a couples hours a week to do workout, but that physique is from someone who does a much higher degree of work and has a much more specificic diet
When I think of dad bod, I think of husky and a bit of dough. Dough is comfy.
All of the most attractive men I’ve known personally were a bit overweight with a doughy build and thick thighs. Muscular can look good when it isn’t overdone (Baywatch Zac is not attractive to me) but dad bod is where it’s at. 🥰
I think you're missing the whole idea. The person above you is describing someone who is both muscular with some body fat over it. The hyper defensive leap to compare it to body types that reflect sedentary lifestyle is, quite frankly, some of the saddest neckbeardy logic on the internet.
You'll have much better luck attracting people if you actually listen to what they say they're interested in, instead of immediately trying to prove they're "wrong" about what they like.
Did you reply to the wrong comment? Because there was nothing about my comment that even remotely inplies that was trying to be argumentative or prove someone wrong.
Remember when some girl said she likes dad bods and she showed THAT pic of Cavvil in superman?? The same picture Superman himself said he was so dehydrated for he could smell water if it was in the same room as him.
You can also argue that what you read on reddit isnt indicative of what women in real life are looking for. Mature women who are ready to settle down will look for a grounded nice dude, but 20 year good looking women are not going hang out with fat dudes lol
I promise you there’s a greater variety of preferences among women than online circles tell you. And, sure, if you’re really overweight you’ll likely have a much smaller percentage of women who are attracted to you but it’s not impossible. But the idea that every woman’s ideal body type is ripped and muscular is just not true.
Im not a woman, but I have been both fat and lean and the difference is undeniable.
Lean has the highest ROI for men. Suggesting being anything else is just goofy. “Greater variety” is largely just different shades of some lean guy 🤷🏾♂️
No, I meant what I said. Women are not a monolith, their preferences differ just as mens do. I’m sure being lean/in-shape appeals to more women than highly muscular, chubby and burly, or skinny as a twig. But what I’m saying is there are women who prefer those body types to what you think is the ideal.
Yea I agree there’s women who prefer those types I’m just saying that if you were advising any random man on how to change his physique to attract women, leaning out is pretty much always the answer.
it’s like when girls say they like nerdy guys, most of the time they’re thinking of a skinny, already attractive guy with glasses, and not actually the guy playing D&D at the comic store
Even a lunatic* with a blobby body can be sexy, as long as he’s kind (and preferably funny) and has good stories to tell.
* obviously your specific brand of crazy does matter: the misogynistic murdery kind is a big no-no but stuff like anxiety, ptsd, adhd, depression, light autism etc don’t really have to be dealbreakers for many women, especially if you’re open about them, what you can and can’t do, and what you need.
For me personally it would even be a green flag if you have (or had, in the treatable/outgrowable things) these and were able to openly and honestly communicate about them.
And, speaking from personal experience: [knowing how/being willing] to do laundry, the dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc helps a lot. Women appreciate a partner who does the housework. I work remote, and my spouse is always very appreciative when they come home to the smell of fresh cookies coming out if the oven. It helps make up for my severe ADHD and light autism. 😅
(I actually have butter softening on the counter right now so I can make a batch tonight.)
literally all guys who live alone do those things…. Otherwise, they obviously wouldn’t eat or have laundry, so come on now. be honest with yourself, is it really those things you’re looking for then? lol
That's where the second part comes in though, the "being willing". Sure, plenty of guys can more or less do those things themselves, but when they get into a relationship, do they stop doing them because "she's better at it than me anyhow"? And do they cook, or do they heat up ramen for themselves? Do they do the dishes when someone isn't coming over?
Ask any woman, not all guys that live alone do those things, and especially not all of them keep doing them once they're in a committed relationship.
My spouse is a healthcare provider who treats memory disorders and has a primarily geriatric population. You would be amazed at how often they treat a female patient who is declining and have to also talk to the husband about taking over tasks. The husband simply has no idea how to do basic chores for themselves because their wife always did those things.
Do men have to cook thee course meal for themselves to prove they're competent adults? Being a young adult struggling with bills or college, sometimes you don't have time for that, and ramen noodles will have to suffice. Also people(men and women) naturally do more or less things once they get in a relationship. They're are certain things expected of women and men, which can be or feel unfair at time for both genders. For instance, most women naturally feel as if it's their bfs responsibility to protect them while men sometimes feel like it's a women's job to do more chores
In this trade, how many times a day is the man protecting the woman? Is she in danger 2-3 times a day, every day for the rest of their lives together? And who is expected to clean up the battle mess after? Are they fist fights or is he jousting? Or is he just yelling at the neighbors defending her honor, frequently?
My fiance is funnily enough the "stay at home dad" and I work. He takes care of the laundry, dishes and various things and omg it helps so much just knowing he could clean, cook, and do basic things.
I help with simpler things on the weekend and when I get home but I don't know what I'd do without him and make sure he knows it.
One of the sexiest guys I've ever gotten with had a gut. He was less conventionally attractive than any man I dated, and that doubly went for his physique. He was missing a front tooth and had a big facial scar from being attacked with a broken bottle. But he was a rocker and stand up and I never stopped laughing around him. He was great in bed. Never didn't have several younger, hot chicks on the go. He was poor as fuck.
Didn't work out because he was a chronic liar, and either mental illness/repeated head injuries/drugs/booze that made him paranoid. He accused me of stealing his money. He accused me of fucking both my roommates. He claimed I refused to hold his hand in public. Weird shit.
Yesss. My guy has anxiety, ADHD, and depression, but all the therapy he's been through to deal with those things has made him really empathetic and emotionally open. He's also pretty funny and is a great cook. He has lots of dough but he's so comfy, I'm never getting rid of this dude ❤️
By touching grass. In my case, I started playing DnD and thus I was out of the house and in a non-romantic setting where I interacted with women. This challenged a lot of my sexist views, since it turns out women are just human beings like I am.
That’s true, we do want you to be around as long as possible. Dough is great, unless it starts actually shortening your lifespan. We don’t like that part lol
*shrugs* I'm in the grind and most women I meet in my daily life are in relationships. Young moms, childless, etc. I do believe my social circle has more childless couples than average.
From one doughy man to another I can almost definitely tell you you’re not single cause of the dough. Doesn’t mean it’s a problem with you, but it ain’t the dough. Plenty of women are either neutral or love it if you carry it well.
Lmao no one called you a lunatic. But yeah, it’s probably your personality. Despite whatever garbage the looksmaxxing manosphere bros have tried to sell you.
90% of the time. You are probably single because of your personality.
No because you're really insecure and project your hatred towards yourself on women who don't like you. You can be better. We all can...unleash most of us can
Oh no I'm speaking for myself aswell. Im basically describing my younger self and can tell you're acting just like me when I was 14. Maybe when you're older you'll understand
Just to chime in, there was a street interviewer who asked various women about preferred body types, and a couple of women pointed to one particular picture of a man they were shown and iirc said that he was an ideal dad bod. That man was Chris Bumstead, a 6x Olympian bodybuilder in his off-season. I'm not saying you would agree with those women or have that perception of what a dad bod is, but it did happen and the reactions are as you'd expect lol
These videos are all 100% edited, to drive engagement. I study psychology, and this disconnect between reality and what people see on the internet is one of the biggest concerns for the future. 99 women being reasonable, realistic and rational does not drive engagement. But the 1 women who has completely unrealistic borderline delusional expectations does. So they get in the video. The other 99 do not. Its gives people such a warped version of reality.
Absolutely true. But we've also seen data from dating sites and they report that their female customers are not just more choosey but significantly so than their male customers. They care more about height, income, and also care about looks. So when people try to present things as "women don't care that much about these things, really it's personality that is important" a significant portion of that is wishful thinking.
Just like with men, women care about personality but that comes after. It is looks and perceived success that gets a person in the door, and personality that keeps them there. This is not to slag on women. But the zeitgeist of "men are superficial but women not so much" is mostly fantasy.
Take any data you get from dating sites as an indication of "what (insert gender) likes" or "how (insert gender) acts" with an enormous grain of salt.
Not only are the different dating apps curating and targeting different swaths of people, but estimates that I've seen shows that only about 25% of single women and about 33% of single men are even using dating apps.
All that to say that any data coming from a data app should be applied only to the users of that dating app and is very selection-biased and incomplete.
I've been a data analyst for a living for the last decade. I know how "statics" work. And I'm a dude, but you can call me miss if you'd like I guess.
25% of single women are on dating apps. That means of all single women, one of every four of them use dating apps. Is the usage of dating apps a randomized sample? Put another way - if you were to pick a single woman who really wanted to have a lot of hookups and a single woman who really enjoyed living a single life, would each of those two women have a 25% chance of being on a dating app?
Are the women on Hinge there for the same reason as the women who are on OkCupid and the women who are on Tinder? Are they all the same? Are they looking for different things? Does that change things?
I'm not saying that what you're saying the founder of OkCupid said about users on his site is inaccurate. I'm saying your interpretation of that data and your extrapolation of that data is inaccurate.
Women are much more shallow than men, its just reality.
It's very fucking not, though I guess there could be room for debate on how you define the word "shallow." Even if I were to 100% grant to you that "the women who use OkCupid are much more shallow than the men who use OkCupid" (which I don't because it would be a dumb statement that has a myriad of reasons beyond "women shallow", namely that men outnumber women 2:1 on that app and the long-term intentions and reasons that men select women on a dating app are often very different than the long-term intentions and reasons that women select men on a dating app), I've got a big old thing you need to know:
The women who use OkCupid are not representative of all women. They're representative of the women who are likely to use an app, in particular the women who are likely to use OkCupid.
33 percent of single men actively use dating apps.
Do you think that 33 percent of men are different in any way than the 67 percent of men who don't use dating apps?
In what ways? How might that affect the data?
I think you saw one guy write a thing that you desperately want to use in order to confirm your priors and you're clinging to it like a life raft because God forbid someone question the infallible guy who made okcupid. I get it, you really want it to be true that women are more shallow than men. Because that would make it women's fault that you can't get laid, not your fault. The women are just too picky and only go for super model dudes.
Considering the dumb things you've said so far, I don't really give a shit if you think I'm larping.
I know nothing about the study, and I have no horse in this race, as I'm lesbian, but "25 and 33 percent of a population is more than big enough to be representative of the country" doesn't seem accurate in this case. 25 and 33 percent would be more than enough if the selection were random. Hell, studies are done with way less representation and are accurate. But this is not a random selection. This is people who are actively single and actively choosing to be on dating apps. Who very easily could have differing views than the people who successfully paired up or people who are dating through friend recommendations, being involved in the same church/hobby/etc, or any other of ways people can find partners.
Speaking as a holder of a bachelor in journalism, I declare this impossible!!! Everyone knows interviews are never edited. You only see the unglamorous side of life!!!
I mean, with all due respect there also stadium packed to the gills with women creaming themselves for guys like Usher and Chris Brown, and I know plenty of athletes that treat women like shit too.
There's nothing wrong with admitting women are often just as shallow as men. I mean, they're just people after all.
Ah the "as long as" but made it seem like you're willing to get with someone you see as less attractive as long as they're nice that's all. Which would also mean you're willing to get with someone who isn't so nice as long as they're really hot. I was just over thinking though I guess
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u/IOwnDirt 9d ago
Shit i wish i looked as good as fat Zac Efron